HOPE
Chapter Ten
A Newfound Strength
May 7, 1912
Night
All the anxiety that Rose had been feeling
her whole life had completely vanished. She had a newfound strength and passion
for life. She no longer felt intimidated by unpleasant thoughts.
Molly had shown her around the house earlier
that afternoon. All of Molly’s servants were especially friendly towards her.
John in particular seemed to have a very outgoing personality. He always seemed
to have a smile on. But then again, she had only been here for a short while.
Everyone had their low times.
Rose spent most of the daylight hours outside
among the gardens. With Rose being so far away from everything she hated, she
seemed to blossom. She, too, carried a smile the whole day. She knew that she
would make a fine mother. Her child would be loved by both its mother and
father. Jack would always be watching.
*****
Rose sat in her room, writing in her Dear
Jack journal, when she heard a knock on her door. "Come in," she
said politely.
"Hello, Miss...Rose," John
stuttered. He saw the journal in her hands. "I’m sorry. I can come back
later."
"No. Please, come in. What brings you
here?" She closed her journal and placed it next to her on the bed.
"Well, Mrs. Brown mentioned that you had
an interest in art. There is a small art museum just a couple of blocks down
from here. I wondering if you might be interested in accompanying me. My
intentions are purely that of friendship, I assure you."
"That’s very sweet of you, but I’m
afraid I’m not ready to start a relationship of any kind with anyone. I just
recently lost my husband and I feel the pain deeply still. If it were at a
different time, perhaps things would have been different. But it would be just
too difficult at this time."
"I’m sorry. If I had known, I wouldn’t
have..."
"No. It’s quite all right. There’s no
way you could have known." She smiled weakly.
"Well, good night, Rose. Sleep
tight."
"Good night, John. You, too." John
quietly left Rose’s room, leaving to contemplate her own thoughts.
Rose picked up her journal and resumed
writing.
Dear Jack,
As you know, today has been a wonderful
turn of events. I have a joyous view of life. I’m almost positive you had
something to do with that. I am sure that I can face anyone now. After facing
Cal two weeks ago, and then turning John down just now, I know that I am
stronger than I thought. I hope that will reflect on our child. I do not want
him or her to have the shyness that I had as a child. I never wanted to
socialize with other children. It’s a horrible thing for a child to feel.
Speaking of which, would you be
disappointed if I had a girl and not a boy? I think I would like to have a
girl. A mother and daughter usually have a special bond. But then again, it
would be sweet to have a little Jack Dawson, Jr. running through the house. I
guess we will just have to wait and see which it is.
Love, always and forever,
Rose
*****
Molly awoke the next morning to find neither
John or Thomas Calvert there. She found a note tacked to her bedroom door.
Mrs. Brown,
I’m afraid I was not completely honest
with you. Father has fallen quite ill. He will not be with us much longer. He
has requested that we move back to Cedar Rapids as soon as possible. Cedar
Rapids is where Father grew up, as you know. By the time you read this, we will
have already left. I’m terribly sorry for such short notice. I hope that you
will understand, and I promise I will write as soon as we arrive.
We are forever in debt to you for giving
both of us a place to stay for so long. I hope that one day I may return.
Stay well,
John Calvert
I knew that boy was hiding something from
me, Molly thought to herself. He
just didn’t seem himself. God bless them both.
Rose, too, awoke to find a note tacked to her
door.
Mrs. Dawson,
By the time you read this, I will have
already left. Mrs. Brown may be able to explain this in better terms than I
can.
Best wishes for the future,
John Calvert
An incredibly nauseous feeling came over
Rose. She remembered about her morning sickness and quickly ran to the
bathroom. She assured herself that what she was going through was perfectly
normal. At least, she hoped so.
May 17, 1912
Rose sat at her desk, writing to Jack. It was
just before dinnertime and she thought she would get some of her thoughts
written down before she lost them.
Dear Jack,
I have asked Molly to explain my situation
to everyone. I know I couldn’t do it myself. I asked her to tell them that we
were married and that you passed away just a short while ago. I know this is a
lie, but I believe with all my heart that if you were still here it would be a
reality. I also asked her to tell them about the baby. They would find out in a
matter of a few months anyway, but it seems better this way. Don’t you think?
Oh, Jack, I’m so scared, but at the same
time I’m so incredibly happy. The idea of being a mother is growing on me. It
feels so phenomenal to know that there is a little person growing inside of me.
It is a feeling unmatched by anything I have ever felt. And it’s all thanks to
you. You! I love you, Jack Dawson, more than you will ever know.
Molly told me that this sickness will only
last for another one or two months. Thank God! But you know I would do anything
for this child, anything and everything.
Until we meet again,
Rose
Rose closed her journal and placed it on the
table next to her bed. It had been a long day. Earlier that afternoon, she and
Molly talked about what Rose should expect in the next eight months. It was
uncomfortable for her to talk about it at first, but she felt more at ease now.
She wasn’t as frightened as she had been a couple of weeks ago. And she knew
she could always talk to Molly about anything. She was much more open-minded
than even Rose.
"Rose?" She heard Molly’s voice
outside her door.
"Yes?"
Molly stepped in from outside the hallway.
"Dinner is ready, hon. Are you feelin’ well enough to come down this
evenin’?"
The past few nights Rose had felt ill in the
evenings as well as in the mornings. So Molly had brought a tray of food up to
her room. "Yes, actually. I’m feeling much better today. And quite
famished, I must say!"
"Well, good! David has cooked up quite a
meal tonight."
"Mmm…I can smell it." She closed
her eyes and let the aroma wash over her senses. "I’ll be down in a few
minutes. Just let me freshen up a bit."
"All right." Molly quietly walked
out of Rose’s room and closed the door behind her.
Rose splashed some cool water on her face,
just to wake her up a bit. Just the atmosphere of her surroundings made her
sleepy. Her room was dimly lit with a romantic glow to it. It soothed her
nerves, but made it hard to stay awake at times.
She tied her hair back with a pale yellow
ribbon that matched the color of her dress. She took one last glance in the
mirror and descended down the staircase. She already felt more comfortable
here. It was becoming home.