HOPE
Chapter Twelve
Friends Forever
Saturday, May 25, 1912
Dear Jack,
The pain is still very prominent, but I am
adjusting. It is no longer unbearable to think about you. Painful, yes, but not
unbearable. The pain will never be completely gone, but it will someday be very
minute. I realized on Monday that you would no longer be with me, and I accept
that. It was a painful realization at first; I shed many tears. But you must
pass on to wherever it is you must go. I know that one day we will be together
again. And then we will have eternity. As for now, this journal seems to be the
next best thing.
Today was Lynn’s day off, she and I spent
the whole day walking around the city, shopping, sightseeing, but most of all
just talking. It turns out she and I have quite a great deal in common with
each other. We are already great friends, and only after one day! I’ve never really
had a close friendship with anyone—except for you, Jack. No one knows me better
than you. Mother always made sure that I never developed close friends. But now
that I am on my own, I feel so free. And it feels so wonderful!
Lynn has not asked me many questions about
my past, and I am thankful. She has not offered much about her past, either. It
seems as though she has secrets of her own to protect, which is fine with me.
It makes things easier on both of us. I know if I ever had to confide in someone,
she would be the one that I could talk to.
Is heaven treating you well, darling? I
know it is. I see you in my dreams at night. There is a heavenly glint in your
eyes that makes you glow like the angel that you are. The glow is only compared
to the stars that shine above at night. Oh, I do hope that our child has your
eyes.
I know that you must go, but before you
do, will you promise me something? Promise me that you will come back to me
once a year. You know what day I mean. I don’t want to have to spend it alone.
Rose felt a breeze flow through her room, but
the window was closed. She knew that Jack had made his promise known. Now Jack
would be able to see his child grow after all.
Thank you. That means more to me than you
know.
I discovered that Molly has a piano. I had
no idea! I was so thrilled! I never told you this, but I love to play the piano
very much. When I told Mother I wanted to further pursue my musical interests,
she stopped my lessons immediately. She told me that it was for my own good,
and if I were to find a suitable husband, I mustn’t go around acting like a
giddy child. I was devastated. I was fourteen, and it was just around this time
that Father died. Mother became very defensive and bitter. I think that was
when I realized that she would never be the same person that I had grown to
love and cherish.
I believe that Mother truly loved Daddy
with all her heart. I could see it when they looked at each other. Their eyes
were filled with the same glow that you and I had. After he died, she became
closed off from the rest of the world. She wouldn’t let me into her heart, and
became very closed in. I wish I could have been there for her in the same way
that Molly has been here for me. And you, too, Jack. You’re always here for me,
right here in this journal.
It’s getting late, and my being with child
is making me rather tired. I think I’ll go upstairs and go to bed now. Until we
meet again, my angel.
Love you always,
Rose
June 22, 1912
About One Month Later
Dear Jack,
I wish this morning sickness would just go
away! Molly has told me that it could stop any day now, or continue on for
another few weeks. I am just hopeful that it won’t be the latter.
Lynn and I have spent a great deal of time
together in the past month. I can honestly call her my best friend right now.
She is a few years older than I, but it’s not so much of an age gap to make
much of a difference. She will be twenty-five on July seventeenth, only two
days before mine! What a coincidence. I must find the perfect birthday gift for
her.
I have been playing the piano as often as
I can. The first week I started again I was a bit rusty, but all of my old
habits are coming back to me now. Music makes me forget about all my worries. I
feel as though I’m in a different world, far, far away from everyone else.
Molly pulled out an old box of sheet music
that she had in the attic. There were some pieces there that I recognized and
began to play. The others, I looked over and sight read. Molly and the others
have told me they like to hear the piano echo through the house during the day.
It, too, gives them a peace at mind that makes their work a little bit more
enjoyable. It is a wonderful feeling inside to hear someone compliment you on
something you love to do so much.
Molly told me early yesterday afternoon
that she will have to go to Chicago to take care of some business matters. She
will be leaving on July first and will not be here for my birthday. It saddened
me, but I understand. At least Lynn will be here.
I’m sorry to make this so short, Jack, but
nothing has really happened in the past month. Just the same old morning
sickness and tiredness. I promise you that I have been taking good care of
myself for the baby’s sake. I wouldn’t be able to take the loss of another
person I love so dearly.
Love you,
Rose