WHAT HURTS THE MOST
Chapter Twelve

Rose sat down in her bed with a pen and paper in hand again. She knew that she needed to write a new song for the cabaret soon. After being gone for two days on account of Sarah, she knew she would really have to write a stellar one.

Sarah came into the room and sat on Rose’s bed next to her. "What are you doing?"

"Writing a song," Rose replied. "Or attempting to, at least."

Sarah pondered. "Write one about Jack."

"I’ve done that before."

"Was it a love song? Saying how you’ll love him forever?"

Rose nodded.

"Have you ever tried one about moving on?"

Rose was quiet, drumming her pencil against the paper. "Sort of."

"What do you mean by ‘sort of’?"

"Well, I attempted to. It didn’t work out the way I wanted it to. It was five months after he died."

Sarah took the paper and pencil from her and wrote at the top My Heart Will Go On.

Rose looked at it and remembered that that was the same title that she had tried the first time around, fourteen and a half years ago. Except this time, she felt capable of writing this. If Sarah seemed stable after only a week after her guardian’s passing, she felt like she could write a song about the man she used to love.

Rose pulled her into a hug. "Thank you, Sarah."

*****

When Rose was gone most of the remainder of the week, Sarah was reminded of how it used to be with Cal. If this situation had happened two weeks ago, she would have felt alone and tortured, but this time Sarah understood. Rose was busy working at the cabaret, putting together My Heart Will Go On with the flute player. Actually, Sarah liked the quiet now. It wasn’t as uninviting as it used to be.

Tonight, Rose was to debut My Heart Will Go On at Richard’s. Sarah sat in the back at a table by herself. She saw Rose walking onstage. She looked scared. Rose took a deep breath in and out, then said, when she had everyone’s attention, "I want to dedicate this song to Jack and Sarah. I couldn’t have written this without either of you. I love you both tremendously."

Sarah smiled and applauded with the other people. "You can do this, Rose," she whispered.

The flute player started playing the opening. Sarah couldn’t imagine how nervous Rose was. She knew how hard this was for her to write. She helped her with it. But when she started singing, she actually seemed relaxed.

Every night in my dreams I see you, I feel you
That is how I know you go on.
Far across the distance and spaces between us
You have come to show you go on.
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on.
Once more, you open the door
And you’re here in my heart,
And my heart will go on and on
Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime,
And never let go ‘til we’re gone.
Love was when I loved you, one true time I hold to
In my life we’ll always go on
Near, far, wherever you are,
I believe that the heart does go on.
Once more, you open the door
And you’re here in my heart,
And my heart will go on and on.
You’re here, there’s nothing I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on.
We’ll stay forever this way,
You are safe in my heart,
And my heart will go on and on.

The crowd started clapping. Sarah stood up from her chair, beaming, clapping the loudest of them all.

"Good job, Rose!" a man with blond hair beside her yelled, possibly clapping louder than Sarah.

Sarah smiled and looked over at him. "You liked her, huh?"

The man quickly stopped clapping and looked a bit scared. "You can see me?"

She nodded. "What’s your name?" Before he had a chance to answer, Rose came up to Sarah. The next singer was taking the stage for a few songs, so she had the chance to talk with Sarah. She hugged Rose tightly. "Rose, that was amazing!"

Sarah could hear the smile in her voice as she said, "Thank you. I couldn’t have done it without you."

"I only helped a little bit. You have a great voice that put it all together. All those hours rehearsing that...that must have been so tedious."

Rose sat down and sighed. "It was."

"But everyone loved it, so it was worth it."

The man kneeled down at the table between Sarah and Rose. He looked directly at Rose. "You did great, Rose!"

Sarah couldn’t help but glance at him and try not to hide a smile. "I think this is going to become a club favorite."

"I hope it will. I love performing it. I can’t help but think of Jack now."

The man with blond hair smiled. "Yeah, Rose! Remember the last night on the Titanic when we kissed on the bow of the ship?"

Sarah’s stared at the man. It had to be Jack. It couldn’t be anyone else. As far as she was concerned, that was the only man Rose kissed on the Titanic.

"What are you looking at, Sarah?" Rose asked.

"Oh, nothing. Daydreaming, I suppose," Sarah said, diverting her attention back to Rose.

"You should have written about the time we--" Jack stopped himself and looked at Sarah. "The time we had dinner together."

Sarah thought it was so bizarre that here she could see this man that she was pretty sure was Jack, when Rose, after all those years of longing to see him, was right in front of him, invisible to her.

She wondered if Rose would believe her when she told her. Would Rose believe her when Sarah told her that she was a medium? Would she even tell her that she was a medium? She hadn’t told anyone out of fear that they would think she was crazy.

After a few songs, Rose went back on the stage. Jack took the place of Rose in her seat. He was directly across from her.

"So, you can see me?" the man asked.

"Yes," she said. "That’s why I’m talking to you." Silence. She looked around her. People were talking to each other or too absorbed in Rose. "You don’t see a light, do you?"

The man shook his head. He appeared to be about twenty years old, with light blue eyes that seemed serious. He leaned forward. His lips were in a thin line. "I need you to tell Rose something."

"I need you to tell me your name," she said.

Suddenly, the man disappeared as quickly as he came. She scanned for him but found not even a trace. Sarah sighed and focused her attention back on Rose, who was singing another song. She wondered when she would see him again. If it was a message for Rose, and that indeed was Jack Dawson whom she saw, she prayed that it would be soon.

Chapter Thirteen
Stories