HEARTS WILL GO ON
Chapter Nineteen
"What happened? What’s
wrong?" he asked, and I felt my lower lip tremble.
"My father…he’s alive,"
I said, feeling the tears burn behind my eyelids.
"Wait. What?" he asked.
His shirt was partially unbuttoned and the sleeves were rolled up to the elbow.
He wore khaki work pants and boots and his face was smudged with dirt. I pushed
the photo forward.
"This is my father," I
said, and he nodded.
"You look like him a
bit," he said. I caught my reflection in one of the windows.
"I should have noticed it
before."
"Jo…what are you talking
about?" I didn’t know how to express what I was saying, so I began to cry.
It was horribly juvenile and I hated it, but I couldn’t stop it.
"Tom…Thomas Rose…this is
Thomas Rose! He’s been using me! Lying to me!" I sobbed even harder.
"How could he? How could he do this to me? To my mother?" I stopped,
my eyes widening. "My mother doesn’t even know…she’s never met Tom."
"Jo…calm down…"
Jonathan said, putting a hand on my shoulder.
"Calm down? Calm down? My
dead father has been alive all this time and he didn’t even care to tell me. I
am not going to calm…" I couldn’t say anything else, because he had lunged
forward and kissed me. I dropped the picture of Jack, but at that moment I
didn’t care because somehow my hands had found a new purpose--to unbutton
Jonathan’s shirt.
He pulled away, but only just so
that our foreheads were touching.
"Are you sure about
this?" he whispered. Unthinking, I nodded, and we sank to the floor of the
orangery, surrounded by the sweet smells and the bright colors. The humidity of
the building made both of us glisten with sweat as we undressed each other.
"Is this your first
time?" I asked, unsure why I felt it necessary to whisper.
"Yes," he replied
against my neck. "Is it yours?"
"Of course!" I replied
haughtily, making him laugh. I smiled, too.
I knew what we were doing was
idiotic, and I’d barely ever kissed a boy, so the fact that I was lying nearly
naked with one was quite a surprise to me. Did these thoughts run through my
mother’s mind when she was with Jack Dawson on that ship? Not that I cared
anymore. He could rot for all I cared…the sick bastard. I heard Jonathan
whisper something like, "It might hurt." I looked up into his gray
eyes and sighed.
"I don’t care…I just want to
be with you," I said, letting him kiss me. He was right. It hurt like
hell, but only for a minute before it began to feel like heaven. The only sound
I could hear was the sound of our breathing and the occasional whisper of
comfort from him.
"I love you, Jo…I always
have…" he said, and I finished with him not far behind.
We pulled apart after a few
moments and looked at each other.
"I’m going to figure
something out," he said finally, pulling his underwear and pants on as I
followed suit.
"What do you mean?" I
asked. He grabbed my hands.
"Jo…I can’t marry Gloria
now…I’m going to…to…go to the city newspaper and tell the truth about
Father!" There was a new determination in his eyes as he grinned.
"Th-then I am going to go over to Keegan Edwards’ and tell him to fuck
off!"
"Whoa…Jonathan…slow
down," I said, handing him his shirt. "That guy is sadistic."
"Then," he continued.
"I’m going to come to your aunt’s and ask your mother for her permission
to marry you. We’ll deal with your father later," he said. I didn’t know
what to say. He had rendered me speechless.
"You want to marry me?"
I asked, letting him pull my coat back around my dress and hand me the picture
of Jack.
"Of course I do. I wanted to
marry you the day I met you in that train station." He looked down at me.
"That is, if you’ll have me." I threw my arms around him.
"Oh, yes! Of course! Of
course I’ll marry you!" I cried, forgetting Edwards, forgetting Jack. He
chuckled.
"I’ll propose properly, of
course…with a ring and…well, you’ll see." He kissed me again and we held
hands as we walked back into his house. He called a cab for me and as I was
getting in, we kissed good-bye, and he said, "I’ll see you at dinner…I
love you, Josephine."
"I love you, too," I
said, and I meant it.
*****
I walked into Olivia’s house
smiling like an idiot, but when I saw my mother, the memory of what I’d just
done in Jonathan’s orangery sent color flooding to my face.
"Jo…are you all right?"
she asked hesitantly. I nodded, tossing the picture of Jack onto the hall
table.
"I’m fine…where is
Dave?" Mom reached out to hug me. I tensed, wondering if she could tell
just by touching me that I had given myself to Jonathan.
"Jo…you left so suddenly
earlier…like you’d seen a ghost. Was it hard for you to see Jack?" she
asked, and I remembered my anger from earlier.
"Oh. Him," I muttered.
"You have no idea." Her eyes were dark with worry. "I need to
talk to Dave."
"He’s upstairs." I
started up the stairs when the phone rang. The maid answered and told me it was
for me.
"Hello?" I said,
praying it wasn’t Tom…Jack…whatever.
"Jo?" It was Jonathan.
I must have turned even redder.
"Hi…" I said, loathing
the lovesick sound of my voice.
"Here’s the plan,
sweetheart," he said, taking a breath. "I’ve just met with the owner
of the Philadelphia News. He’s going to send all of the details to New York and
all of the big papers. I’ll be at dinner. Edwards won’t bring Gloria…so…here’s
what Stirling needs to do. While Edwards is there, he needs to leave the party
and get Gloria. I am going to arrange for a cab to wait around the corner from
Edwards’ house. The cab will take them to the train station. I’ve called
Deirdre already in New York. She will be waiting for them…she knows what’s
going on. The train will take them to New York City. Deirdre will meet them
there tomorrow morning."
"Okay…" I said,
glancing at Ma, who looked suspicious.
"Pretend like I called you
to tell you that Deirdre won’t be back in time for the party," he said.
"All right…well, that’s too
bad," I said, playing along.
"I love you, Jo," he
said quietly.
"Yes, you, too…I’ll tell
them…thank you, Mr. Hockley," I said, and hung up the phone, feeling a mix
of elation and fear. I turned to Mom.
"Jonathan Hockley called to
say that Mrs. Hockley won’t be back tonight to come to the party."
"Oh…that’s too bad,"
Mom said. I kissed her cheek.
"Well, I need to talk to
Dave…so…"
"Oh! Jo…Tom called for you
while you were gone…he said he’ll be here tonight. Olivia extended an
invitation to him."
"Wonderful," I said
dryly, and went upstairs.
Dave’s door was open and he was
sitting in the window forlornly.
"Dave…" I said,
shutting his door behind me. He looked at me.
"Oh…hello, Jo…I’m afraid I
won’t be much company tonight," he said, and I sat beside him.
"We need to talk," I
said firmly, and he turned to me. "Dave…I can’t marry you…I won’t."
He sighed.
"I see…" he said with
no emotion.
"I can’t marry you…because
you can’t be married to two people, and you are going to marry Miss Edwards.
Tomorrow." He glared at me.
"Don’t even joke like that,
Jo," he said.
"Do you think I would?
Dave…something happened today…" I began to tell him what had happened,
certain parts that was, and I filled him in on the plan. His eyes were wide
with surprise.
"Jo…are you serious? If
Edwards finds out…"
"He won’t…he’ll be
here," I said, and thought a moment before telling him about Jack.
"He’s coming tonight. My mother will be devastated. I’m going to tell him
off," I said, and Dave touched my arm.
"Jo…he’s still your dad.
Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise…maybe he has a good reason."
"I don’t care. There is no
excuse for finding out you have a daughter and pretending to be someone else
with her. It’s disgusting." Dave got up and pulled out a duffel bag.
"I should pack," he
said, and I nodded.
"It will work this
time," I said, and he smiled.
"I know."
*****
My dress was laid out for me on
my bed, pale gold with a full skirt. It was beautiful. I allowed the maid to
pin up my hair and help me into the gown before putting on a delicate
headpiece, a slim gold piece that lay over my forehead. The pit of my stomach
jumped in excitement as I thought of the events lying ahead. Mom stopped in my
room wearing dark blue, looking no older than thirty.
"I’m heading down…the guests
are arriving. The boys want to say good night before you go down." I
nodded at her and watched her go down, my heart racing, for I knew how horrible
she would soon feel when she saw that traitor. The boys were indeed waiting, as
James was hanging half off his bed and Luke was playing with one of his toys.
"Jo!" Luke cried as I
walked into the room. I smiled at them. Jamie was sulking. "What’s wrong,
James?" I asked, and he looked up at me, scowling.
"Mom said I couldn’t come to
the party…well, I don’t wanna go to her dumb ol’ party!" I laughed, ruffling
his red hair.
"It’s going to be boring,
buddy…I have to go…and I don’t even want to!" This seemed to appease him
for a moment.
"Fine…but that doesn’t mean
I am going to like sitting up here all by myself!" he whined. Luke looked
over at him, hurt.
"I’m with you!" he said
defiantly, and Jamie rolled his eyes.
"I know," he muttered.
"Good night…James," I
said, and he glared, but muttered it back.
*****
People were already filing in
downstairs, including Keegan Edwards and his wife. Jonathan walked in quietly a
few minutes later and waved me over discreetly.
"What is it?" I asked
him.
"The cab is ready for them.
It’s all paid for…" he said. "I hope Stirling realizes that Edwards
has people watching the house. I called on Gloria and filled her in." I
nodded dumbly.
"I’m so nervous about all of
this…he scares me," I said, and Jonathan shrugged.
"He is dumber than you’d
think." He smiled at me. "You look nice."
"Oh," I said, turning
pink. "Thanks. You, too." I scanned the room for my mother and it hit
me like a brick. "Oh, shit," I groaned. Johnny followed my gaze. I
touched his arm. "Excuse me. I need to go give my father a piece of my
mind."