IMAGES OF ONESELF
Chapter Five

Jack pushed open the door of the Welcome Inn. He looked around the empty café, hoping to find it not too crowded. Luck was with him. It was deserted which was typical for 2:30 in the afternoon. In another thirty minutes or so the high school kids would be in here, and after that some of the locals like Wally Bishop’s crowd would come in for their afternoon coffee. Right now he just wanted a cold drink and a place to sit down. He slid into the booth contemplating some time to relax. The last thing he needed right now was someone to talk to. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts and think about his plans for the future. Jack picked up a menu and leaned back against the wooden booth.

Tommy Smith who was washing dishes behind the soda fountain motioned to Doris, the waitress who was tallying up checks. “Customer,” he whispered.

Doris got up and peeked her head around the wall to see who would be coming in at this time of the day. Her eyes popped open in disbelief. “Jack Dawson,” she said to herself. “No one else is here. What a golden opportunity.” The thought of having Jack alone, even if it was in the café, was a tantalizing. He hardly ever came into Chippewa Falls anymore and when he did, he almost never stopped to have something to eat. She was curious as to just what he was doing here. She removed a wad of gum from her mouth and stuck it under the closest table. After patting her hair in place and smoothing her apron, she sashayed her thirty something year old body towards the front of the room where Jack sat.

As she passed the counter where Tommy was working she motioned for him to go finish in the kitchen. He opened his mouth and then shut it, knowing it was useless to argue with Doris He threw his towel down on the stainless steel and in a huff marched back into the kitchen mumbling unpleasantries.

Jack’s heart sank as he felt a knee rubbing against his thigh. Grimacing, he looked up and saw Doris standing over him. She was so close that he barely had room to breathe. Of all the people to be working today it had to be Doris. Doris, who wanted everyone to know she was available. She was not unattractive, physically. Her figure was lush and she was always meticulously groomed. But she was annoying. She had only one thing on her mind and her methods for getting what she wanted were overtly blatant. Jack remembered the one time he had taken her out. They had gone to the movies which had seemed a safe enough activity. For Doris, however, it was the perfect opportunity to try and start things going for later in the evening. He had spent the entire night trying to ignore her obvious gyrations in the theater. Had he not been raised to be a gentleman he would have walked out on her right then and there. However, when the film ended, he begged off with a headache and politely escorted her home. For Jack, any ideas of a relationship had ended that night. For Doris, it was an ongoing project.

Doris leaned one shoulder forward and raised her pad of paper to her chest. “So, Jack, what brings you to town. Haven’t seen you in a long time.” She blotted her red lips together and blinked her eyes.

“Yeah, well, Doris, I’ve got a crop to harvest. I’ve been a little busy.” Jack buried his face further in the menu. Wasn’t she ever going to get the idea that he was not interested?

Doris studied Jack. Now he was a handsome specimen to be sure. He had blond hair that was streaked by days in the sun. It was not as long as it had been when he was a kid, but not so short that a woman could not run her fingers through it. And those eyes. They were like tidal pools of shimmering blue. Enough to make a girl melt. What she wouldn’t give to have just one night with Jack. Maybe he would want to come back for more. One could always hope.

“So what’ll be Jack,” she asked, trying to control her fingers from twirling around in his golden mane.

“Mmm? Oh, yeah.” He looked up not really seeing her. Jack kept hoping that with indifference she would get the hint and leave him alone. “I’ll have vanilla milkshake and a glass of water.”

“That’s it?” She was surprised he was not ordering a meal. Most of the single men that came in here wanted a full dinner, so they would not have to cook. Jack was different though. He was very self sufficient and kept to himself. Boy, he would make a good catch. Doris watched carefully as he put the menu back in the little metal container on the table. There was something about Jack today that was different. His mind seemed to be elsewhere. Usually Jack was so direct, even if he was giving her a hard time.

“Yeah.” That was all he would say.

Doris dropped her pencil to the floor. “Oh, I am so clumsy.” Before Jack could reach for it, Doris had bent over, her head nearly touching his. Her ample cleavage was at his eye level. “You know, Jack,” she said breathlessly, “the Grange dance and pork chop bake is a week from Saturday. I sure wish I could go. You goin?”

Jack looked away and Doris stood up with a hopeful expression on her face. “No Doris. I am not going. Actually,” he thought his next words would get her attention. So what if she gossiped just a little. “I am going away in a few days. Taking a little trip.”

Doris opened her mouth in surprise. “You, going away? Where? Anyplace interesting?”

He nodded, tempting her with his answer. “Yes, interesting.” He waited until she waited breathlessly. “California.”

Suddenly she saw something in Jack’s eyes that she had never seen before. He was always so serious. But now when he mentioned California there was a look of mischief, a sparkle that one rarely saw in Jack Dawson. In his shirt pocket, she noticed a long envelope. She could make out the words…something Pacific Railroad. He wasn’t joking. He had train tickets. At the bottom of the pocket was a small bulge. If she was not mistaken it was the shape of a ring box.

She clasped her hands in front of her. “Jack. Oh, Jack. You’re takin’ me to California to get married. This is a surprise.” Doris reached down and tried to put her hand in his pocket. She gushed with enthusiasm, optimistic that his plans might include her.

“Forget it Doris. What I have to do has nothing to do with you. Believe me, you’ll find out in good time. Now how about that milkshake?” Jack adjusted his shirt after the jostling from Doris. He was losing his patience with her. But then maybe he had baited her along a little. He gave he a wink and smile. “You’ll find someone to go to the dance, Doris. You’re a good looking girl.”

With that, she threw back her head, smiled and wiggled her way back to the kitchen.

A cold draft blew into the café as the door opened. Jack looked up and saw Wally Bishop and Bill Taylor come in. Good grief. Was everyone in town going to be in here this afternoon? Now he knew why he didn’t come very often. He had no stomach for the idle chitchat that always seemed to be on everyone’s mind. In fact, until two weeks ago, when his son showed up, he had really preferred his own company.

“Hey, Jack. How goes?” Wally Bishop had spotted Jack and pushed Bill ahead of him. “Mind if we join you?” Wally nudged Bill in the back. “Ya think he’ll tell us what’s going on out there with that kid?” he whispered. Bill shrugged his shoulders, put a smile on his face and sat down across from Jack.

Jack shook his head from side to side. “No, it’s okay. Sit down,” he said trying to hide the reluctant tone in his voice. He rubbed his hand along the side of his face. “How are things in town?” he asked.

“Oh pretty good, Jack. Say how are things out at your place? Everything okay?” Bill asked the question with some urgency in his voice. He studied Jack’s face as if looking for something. Wally stared at his friend in disgust. Count on old Bill to just blurt things out. Now Jack would guess for sure that they were only looking for gossip.

“What’s the matter Bill? Don’t like the way I look today?” said Jack jokingly. He knew that the bruise on his face had healed.

“Nah, you look fine,” said Wally. “Just that we heard from one of your harvest crew that you and that drifter got into a little tussle last week. That kid came in asking for your place a few weeks ago. Thought he had moved on. Trouble that’s what I said when I saw him. Trouble. Right Bill?” Bill nodded solemnly in agreement.

Jack wondered how on earth anyone could have known about the little incident with his son. As far as he knew everyone had gone home for the day and he and Jack had been alone in the house.

“So just what did you hear?” asked Jack cautiously. There were good things and bad things about living in a town like this. The neighbors all banded together to help each other when times were tough, but whenever something occurred that was either rumor or scandal, the news traveled fast. Too darn fast.

Wally looked at Bill as if waiting for the okay to speak. When Bill nodded, Wally began talking. “One of your crew forgot his coat and went back around dinner time. Walked by the window and saw that kid punch you in the jaw. That’s what we heard.”

Jack looked Wally and Bill straight in the eyes. No point in denying things. That would only make it worse. “Yes, it happened. A misunderstanding. That’s all. Everything is fine.”

“Did ya hit him back,” asked Bill, who had always been looking for a good fight when he had been younger.

“No. I didn’t. He’s a good boy.”

“He’s moved on then?” Surely Jack would not want to keep a guest like that around even if he said he was a good boy.

“No, he’s still here,” said Jack with a serious look on his face.

Wally and Bill looked at Jack curiously. There was something in the way he was defending the boy, something about the way his mood had changed that made them wonder what was going on.

The three men looked up as the bell jingled over the door. Jack closed his eyes briefly, knowing that the moment of truth had come. Wally and Bill stared in amazement. They watched Jack and saw him smile at the young man who had just entered the café.

“Hi Dad.” Young Jack grinned when he saw his father. He had been running around town all afternoon getting a haircut and shopping. It was a relief to find his dad here in the restaurant. He was tired and hungry and ready to sit down for a snack. There were two men sitting with his father who must be some acquaintances from town. His father was beaming back at him. The other two looked like that had just seen a ghost.

Wally and Bill glanced at one another, their faces turning white. Son. How could Jack have a son? But then hadn’t they thought that the boy resembled Jack the first time they saw him.

“I got everything you told me too. Left it all in the truck. I thought I might find you in here,” the boy explained to his father. Then he turned to the men that were sitting across from his dad and with his best manners put out his hand to them. “Hi, I’m Jack, Jack Dawson. Nice to meet you. Room for me, Dad?” he said as he sat down on the bench next to his father.

Bill’s mouth hung open. Wally’s eyes were glazed over in disbelief. Jack was more than amused at their reaction. But he was also concerned about the ramifications for his family once these two started wagging their tongues.

He took a deep breath, sat up straight and put his arm on his son’s shoulder. “Jack, I’d like you to meet Wally Bishop and Bill Taylor. This is my son,” he said proudly. The boy gave the men a friendly nod.

“P-Pleased to meet you, Jack,” said Wally, at a loss for words.

“Likewise,” said Bill. He was the first to recover from his shock. “Ya know Jack, when I first saw this young man come into town, first thing that crossed my mind was what a fine upstanding boy he was. Isn’t that right, Wally? Wally?” He poked his elbow into Wally Bishop’s arm.

“Ouch.” Wally gave Bill a disparaging look. “Yah, that’s right.”

Jack found the two men’s interactions amusing, but he knew that he had to set the record straight, regarding the situation with Rose and young Jack. Before he could speak, Doris appeared at the table. It was obvious that she was ogling the younger Jack. Once again she rubbed her knee against Jack. “So, who’s your friend Jack?” Now that they knew the answer to that question, Wally and Bill were willing to play along and they feigned their ignorance. When there was no answer from Jack and no response from Bill and Wally, she asked again. “Come on, who are you? she asked young Jack directly. “You’re cute.” Jack looked at his father hoping to get a cue on how to answer the flirtatious waitress.

“First of all Doris, stop rubbing my knee.” Jack could tell that Doris was embarrassing his son.

She gave Jack a dirty look, upset that he had let the others know of her poor attempt at amorous advances. Doris gritted her teeth and set a tray with four water glasses down on the table. She put one in front of each of the men. When her hand was in mid air, holding a basket of bread, Jack delivered the bombshell.

“Doris, this is my son, Jack Dawson.”

Amidst a clatter of flying bread, butter pats and the loud guffaws of Wally and Bill, Jack watched as Doris squinted her eyes and leaned over the table at Jack. “Don’t think you can make a fool out of me, Jack Dawson.” She lifted her face and stared at Jack and then at the polite young man sitting next to him. In that instant, she knew the truth. Both of them had those piercing eyes the color of a summer sky, the same well-defined cheekbones and the straight noble nose. Only the mouth was different. The boy’s was fuller with a wider smile. She stood up straight, tugging on her tight uniform. She gave the boy a once over and judged his age to be about eighteen. Not exactly too young for her. Maybe if the father thought himself too good for her, there might be a chance with the son.

Jack must have read her thoughts. “Don’t get any ideas, Doris. Jack is too busy for you. And besides, he is going with me. On that trip to California.” Stunned was the only word to describe the look on Bill and Wally’s faces. They mouthed the word California to each other.

Doris put her hands on her hips and glared at Jack. “How could you have a son, Jack? That’s what I’d like to know.” Doris had innocently set herself up for one of Jack’s well delivered quips. He had a sense of humor, even though it did not get used very much.

“What? You don’t think I’m capable?” he chuckled. Young Jack was shaking with laughter. He had never seen this side of his father. Wally and Bill were howling like two alley cats.

“Humph.” Doris turned and walked back to the kitchen. With a backward glance, she told them that when they turned civilized she’d be back for their order. “As for your milkshake, Jack, I should shake it all over you.”

Jack was laughing so hard, he could hardly talk. The tears in the corners of his eyes were for the first time tears of happiness. He really did not mean to make fun of Doris. It was just that she had a way of letting herself become the victim of everyone else’s jokes.

Wally and Bill watched the two men across from them. There was such a strong resemblance between father and son. But questions were flying through their minds. Where had this boy come from? Who was the mother? When had all this taken place? They were dying to ask, but right now Jack showed no intention of explaining anything.

Slowly they all settled down and they fell into a conversation about the harvesting, the weather and Jack explained to his son what Wally and Bill did for a living. Tommy came to the table, bringing napkins and silverware, all the while eyeing the young man in the booth, to see if he really could be Jack’s son. He took the food orders for Wally, Bill and young Jack, since Doris was licking her wounds in the kitchen. While they were telling Tommy what they wanted, Jack was struggling with how to explain the sudden appearance of a son even he did not know existed. He did not want the subject of Jack and Rose to become a topic for common gossip. It would not do for Rose to come to Chippewa Falls and have people talking about her behind her back, rejecting her because they’d had a child out of wedlock. “I know,” he thought. “It’s not exactly nice, but it will almost guarantee that they will get the story right.” Jack looked at Wally and Bill who were conversing with his son. He nodded his head, a plan forming in his head. “That’s what I’ll do.”

Doris reluctantly brought the sandwiches that young Jack, Wally and Bill had ordered. Then she more or less shoved Jack’s milkshake in front of him. He watched Doris who pathetically tried too hard to find a man. “I’m sorry we laughed at you, Doris. Really.”

She shrugged her shoulders. Her lower lip came out and she raised her eyebrows. “Well, you can’t blame a girl for trying. You can just leave the money on the table.” She ripped off a sheet from her order pad and threw it at Jack. “I’m off now and Nora won’t be in for another thirty minutes. Bye.” She gave a longing glance at Jack’s son and gave a huge sigh. “You know Jack,” she began, as two pair of blue eyes turned to her, “I think your son is better looking and nicer than you.” She turned and sauntered back to the kitchen, amidst the muffled laughter of Bill and Wally.

Jack watched until Doris had disappeared into the kitchen, before speaking to Bill and Wally. “I am entrusting you two with a big responsibility.”

“What do ya mean, Jack,” asked Bill, sensing that at last they were going to get some answers from their friend.

“You two are going to hear the story straight from me, about my son and his mother. And you are going to be absolutely sure that you get it right every single time you tell it. I don’t want Rose coming here and finding herself ostracized by malicious gossip because the two of you told this the wrong way. Do you understand me?” Jack spoke pleasantly enough, but he leaned forward to emphasis his words. “You know that everyone,” he looked directly at the men “has some little thing that they like to keep to themselves.” Jack’s eyes narrowed and he continued. “You know, things like children’s birthdays,” he glance fell on Wally, “ and little midnight picnics.” Bill’s face turned scarlet. They understood exactly what Jack meant. Jack had kept their secrets. They owed it to him to get his story right.

“Yeah, Jack. Anything you say,” said Bill, taking a bite of his sandwich. His stomach was churning at just the thought of Myra ever finding out about his midnight escapade, so many years ago.

“We’re all ears, Jack,” agreed Wally, not wanting to cause embarrassment for his daughter.

* * * * *

The sun was starting to set by the time the two Dawson’s left town. Jack felt satisfied with the deal he had made with Bill and Wally. Now he was certain that Rose would be welcomed and no questions would be asked of her. People might have opinions in their mind, but on one would talk. Bill and Wally would tell his story the right way.

Jack’s truck rumbled over the bridge and as they headed south out of town, young Jack looked over at his father seeing him for the first time in a very different light. For the past couple of weeks, he had been a quiet and pleasant person. Today in the café he’d seen another Jack Dawson. Someone who knew how to flirt and to charm. A resourceful and decisive person who could make things work to his advantage. There had been a certain boldness and fire in his eyes when he spoke of the first meeting with his mother. And now he remembered that once in a great while he saw a glimmer of that in her too. Now he understood more just what had attracted the two. They both shared a love of the unknown, the need to discover what was around the next turn. A sense of fun and precociousness lived in them both. And together they must have been magic. Alone, they were just two empty vessels, existing in everyday life.

“Dad?”

“Yes, son.”

“Just what were you talking about with Mr. Taylor and Mr. Bishop that got them to be so co-operative about getting the story of all of us right. You know so that it wouldn’t turn into something awful. What did that all mean about kid’s birthdays and overnight trips.”

Jack was silent for a minute, pretending to look for traffic at an intersection.

“Alright. I trust you.” He turned and noticed the questioning expression on his son’s face. “Alright,” he repeated. “I’ll tell you. But you know this is between you and me.”

His son nodded emphatically, letting it be known that he would keep a secret.

“Wally was young once too. And he and his wife had to get married. Their oldest daughter was born early,” Jack stopped and gave his son a knowing look. “She was born seven months after they were married. Since Ethel is a little bit of a thing, most people believed that the baby was early. Especially considering the strict family she came from.”

“I see. And Bill. Mr. Taylor?” he asked.

Jack turned onto Abely Road. They were almost home now and darkness was falling on the countryside. It was his favorite time of the day. About the same time of day, when a few weeks ago, this remarkable boy had walked into his life.

“Bill always had a bit of a wild streak. He had been dating Myra for some months and the whole town knew they were about to get engaged. I guess he decided to have one last fling and about a week before the wedding, my dad found him and a young teacher from the high school in sort of a compromising position down by our creek. Dad told them to go home. Bill ran away with Myra and married her a couple of days later. The teacher left town that night, leaving a note that her mother was ill. No one ever put the two together. It was months though before Bill could look my dad in the eye.”

The boy chuckled. This small town life was different from the way he had lived in Santa Monica. It was a friendly place, but people didn’t mind what others were doing. It was good in a way. No one ever asked his mother too many questions. They just accepted the fact that she was a widow with a young son. He could see that in a place like this her life would have been an open book and she would have been subjected to scathing comments about her past life. Coming here now, however, they would both have the protection of his father and his established reputation.

“Thanks for explaining all that to me, Dad. You can trust me to keep all that to myself.”

“Here we are,” said Jack as he parked the truck next to the barn. “You better get those new clothes hung up, so they don’t wrinkle. We want to be presentable when we see your mother. It won’t do for her to think we have no proper standards in this part of the country.” In his mind, he could see Rose as she had been. Dressed beautifully, always neat with the scent of perfume on her. Only her hair had been in disarray. He remembered how wild and glorious it looked as it billowed out around her head.

The boy laughed as he grabbed several bundles from the back of the truck. “Mom can be a stickler for doing things right, as I said. But she knows how to have fun. I just wish she weren’t having such a bad time now. It really eats me up inside.”

“Only a few more days now and we’ll try and do something about that. Why, she could be here with us two weeks from now,” said Jack hoping with all his heart that Rose would let him take care of her. He recalled how stubborn she could be about asserting herself and doing things her way.

“Do you really think so Dad?” asked the boy, hopefully.

Jack stood with his hands on his hips, squinting in the fire of the setting sun. Its last rays were slowly sinking over the horizon. Somewhere over there was Rose. He wondered what she was doing, what she was thinking. He put his head down and took a deep breath. “Well, I’ll give it everything I’ve got. Everything I’ve got.”

Chapter Six
Stories