JASMINE
Chapter Thirteen
Jack and Jasmine Discover Each Other as
Spiritual Friends
I sigh after I think about what Jack told me
about my reflection in the mirror. I was quite touched by what he said. He
really was a gentleman! I think long and hard about what Rose has just invited
us to, one of her stuffy dinner parties that only the snobbiest of matrons and
masters of high society would find appealing! And we had to attend it? I sigh
to myself. I know deep down inside that Rose's invitation had been made out of
innocence and good intent. I know Rose did not extend the offer because she wanted
to embarrass us.
Jack looks at me. "Jasmine?" he
asks in concern. When I look on his face, I can see that his brow is furled and
creased with the look of concern on his face. He continues, as he approaches
me, and puts his right hand on my left shoulder in concern. "What's
wrong?" I feel touched by his gesture. When he rubs my shoulder in
consolation, I can feel my muscles relaxing, and I can feel the strain,
tension, and pain leave my body. I reflect on what has happened, and I realize
that I have learned that, somehow, Jack is capable of sensing and feeling other
peoples' pain, and extending himself, his soul, via kind gestures and words. On
the surface, these gestures and words appear to be mere consolations that any
good friend would give another friend, but when one dug deeper, one realized
that he too was capable of transforming hearts, minds, and souls, albeit in his
own subtle way. All right. He may not be as spiritual as I was, but the
spiritual understanding still resonated through his soul! I smile to myself in
amazement. Eureka! I think to myself. I am finally beginning to understand the
essence of him! So, my initial intuitions and reading of him were not wrong
after all!
Jack's brow creases even further in
consternation. "Jasmine?" he asks in a high-pitched voice that
reflects nothing but concern. "I asked what’s wrong?"
I gasp, I am so startled, and I say, in a
voice that reflects my state, "Nothing…nothing. Just let me have a few
minutes to think!"
I walk over to the corner to meditate, but I
can sense Jack's glare piercing into my back. It's almost as though he's
analyzing me. For the first time in my life, I feel uncomfortable around him.
It wasn't supposed to be this way. Jack and I were supposed to be partners,
friends. The both of us had developed a common rapport and a common goal, which
was to free Rose from her present traps and cages, but now, I feel as though,
somehow, our relationship was straining, as though Jack, who had previously
been so close to me, was moving away from me! Was it something I said? I
think to myself.
Anyway, I meditate solo, and I am lost deep
in the thought process. It would be the last time I would meditate solo. I was
yet to understand that Jack would say something that would change my life
forever! I lowered my head, as I always do when I meditate, and I raised the
fingertips of my right hand up to the center of my forehead, and I firmly but
gently pressed them deep into my forehead, and I began to breathe deeply. To
the uninitiated viewer, I would appear as though I was either ill or had a
headache, or was troubled by some grave matter. I think about the implications
of Rose's offer. I know Rose did that with good intentions, but didn’t she
understand that we had no place at such a gathering? Those gatherings were only
for the high society hens and roosters! A commoner would feel, and be treated,
well…like an undesirable leftover. I sigh to myself. Rose still thinks this is
some sort of a game! She hasn't learned that there are serious rules in life! I
know she wants to have fun. So do I, but sometimes you have to learn to play
the game by the rules, however unideal it may seem, so that you don't get
burned. Then it struck me, and the effect was like lightning--Rose had indeed
been maturing! I should have seen it. That young woman who had just come in to
see us had knocked on the door. That was a sign of respect. Even I had earlier
commented that I had thought that it was odd for someone to be treating us with
respect! Rose hadn't invited us to a boring dinner because she didn't realize
that it was a breach of societal rules, or because she wanted to embarrass us!
Rather, she had invited us because she respected us, and considered us to be
one of them, even if we did not occupy the proper social standing. Rose was
finally beginning to understand that it's character, personality, and soul, not
societal status or money that makes a person a gentleman or a lady, and she had
realized that we were both gentlemen and ladies! I giggled to myself in glee,
because I was understanding that Rose was finally waking up spiritually. Her
eyes were opening, and she was beginning to understand and see the spiritual
light that shone inside of her.
Then I felt it…Jack's glare began to burn
right through me, in much the same way that fire burns right through dry wood.
"Jasmine!" he said, in a raised voice.
"Jack…Jack," I say, in a startled
voice that reflects my caught off guard mood. "Please don't yell--"
He gave me no time to finish my sentence.
"Jasmine," he continued. "I have had it with you!" Before I
even had time to protest, he accosted me with verbiage. "I mean, you spend
all of your time in meditations. Oh, I know that that's how you grow and
develop, but I think you spend too much time isolated deep in yourself! I mean,
you never get outside to interact with people and to see what they are doing.
Every time I see you, you are either preoccupied with some abstract concept
that 99.9 percent of us don't understand, or you seem to be trapped by
something!"
I freeze when he says the word trapped. Oh,
God! I think to myself. He's smarter than I give him credit for and he's
much more spiritual than I thought. Somehow, I sense that he understands my
ordeal!
He continues lecturing me. "Now, I've
had enough of this. You say you believe in equality, but in some ways, you shut
yourself off from the world, and you ensconce yourself in a spiritual world,
which even you admit can only be reached in an altered state of mind. Now, I've
nothing against spiritual development myself, but I've had it with this. I
mean, all you do is meditate when you're not working. Don’t you get bored of
it? I mean, the spiritual realm might be fascinating and everything, but at
some time, even spiritual people have got to get sick of constantly meditating.
To make things worse, you expect everyone to see the world the same way you do,
and if they don't, or, from your narrow standpoint, they don't appear to, you
get mad, and you accuse them of being narrow-minded, or not being spiritual,
and you tell them that they were not meant to be men of God, or women of God,
and that, instead, they were meant to be common people, whatever that
means!"
I wince to myself. His last sentence hurt!
But I guess I deserved it. I guess when I told him that he wasn't capable of
interpreting God's world, or his message, I had hit deep and hurt him. Well,
now I realize that I was wrong.
Anyway, Jack continued his lecture, and I
could tell by his raised tone of voice that he was very hurt and angry. I am
sorry. I hadn't meant to hurt his feelings! "Now, look. I admire you and
everything, but I can sense that something's eating at you, that something's
bothering you. Now, out with it…why don't you ever want to get out and meet
people, to get to know them, like I do? I sense that, deep down inside, you're
hurting. Either that or you, yourself, are trying to escape from something!
Please. I'm here to help you, too. Tell me what’s wrong with you?"
It's at that moment that a lump begins to
form in my throat, and I begin to get very emotional. Well, Jack was hitting on
something that was very sensitive to me, something that had been bothering at
me, been eating away at my core, at my essence, my existence, and my soul for
as long as I could remember. I begin to shake as I tell him, in a very shaky, nervous,
tiny, soft, wavering, and scared voice. "Jack." I gasp and swallow
hard. I look upon his face, and I look up at his face, and I see that it
reflects a mode of understanding. It is at this point in time that a wave of
relief washes over my face and my body, and I feel as though a burden, a
mountain of pain and worries, and anxiety, and nervousness has just been lifted
off of my shoulders. I continue. "Jack, it's just that. I, too, have been
suffering from cages and traps for as long as I could remember. I mean, I have
had flashbacks and I see that long ago, far away, I was a princess, but then
something happened, and I have been entrapped in this state, as a slave, ever
since. You see, you don't realize it, but you and I and Rose live very parallel
lives. Oh, sure, Rose is a high society girl who has been waited on hand and
foot for her entire life. She eats fancy food, and sleeps in a nice bed at
night, and she has always had money, but deep down inside, she is miserable!
She is trapped. We live lives of drudgery, our slavery is real and miserable,
we are appreciated by no one in life, and we hate our existences, but we are
all trapped, and we are all trying to find ourselves, and who we are! For as
long as I could remember, whenever I meditated, I could see a very dark man as
my master, trying to keep me in a cage, trying to keep me as close to him as
possible, trying to use me and my essence, my beauty, and my innocence to get
what he wanted in life. And, for all of my life, I have hated, but I had no way
of escaping, until now. You see, by meeting Rose and you, I am beginning to
understand myself, and to free myself from the traps and cages that I have been
bound in! This dark man, who is my master, also hates me and wishes to harm me
and use me. He has no respect for my beauty, or who I am. He lives off of the
strength and the souls of others. In fact, that's how he grows. That's how I am
always able to associate with Rose's lot in life. I mean, this man, for me, is
what Cal is for her! I see that you, too, are caught by masters, and you,
yourself may be condemned by higher powers to live a life of doom." It is
at this point in time that I see Jack opening his mouth as a sign of protest,
but then quickly closing it. I say with determinism in my voice, to reflect
that I understand, as well that my eyes are opening, "Now, I understand
the world, and, while I may not know how to escape from my present lot, I
understand where to look. This came from my befriending you , and especially
Rose! By analyzing and understanding her, I have come to understand myself, and
the way I operate!"
I see now that Jack is smiling at me, and I
myself smile. Jack has a smile that just lights up his face, and makes the
people he smiles at feel very gay and attuned with themselves. I feel as
though, by looking at his smile, I have been spiritually lifted. Jack says,
with a smile in his voice, "I see that you have changed, but now are you
willing to open up to yourself, and to understand how the world works, and to
get to know people, and how they are, and what makes them tick?"
I give him a matter of fact look as I say,
"In order to help Rose, I'll have to do that, and more!" Then, I say,
"Jack, I have to admit that since I've met you, you've grown as a person.
You seem to understand people and how they think and what makes them tick much
better!"
Jack responds, "It was what happened on
the night Rose tried to jump off of the helm of the ship that changed my
perspective on life. I began to understand that sometimes you have to help
people get over hurdles in life, even if, on the surface, it seems as though
you don't owe them anything. I mean, I realized that, though it doesn't make
any logical sense, people who may seem to be totally unrelated to you in any
way, shape, or form may actually, in a very spiritual and aesthetic way, be
very related to you, and that by helping them, you actually help and enrich
yourself!"
I look at his face and see that it is glowing
with the elixir of life, as though he had just drunk the drink of the gods,
and, in the process, imbibed the spirit and magic of youthfulness, as well as
the ability to see deep into others' souls. Then I comment. "I've grown
myself. By looking deep into myself, I've actually developed humanity, depth,
and richness that only come with deep thought and spiritual healing. I've
actually gotten to the point where I want to relate to others, and I want to
help heal them and their lives, and I've gotten to the point where I want to
get to know people, how they really are, who they are, and what makes their
souls tick. I've come to understand that to help someone spiritually, you must
first understand them spiritually. Otherwise any and all attempts to help them
will come to naught!"
It is at this point in time that I see Jack's
face light up, as though he was standing in front of an open flame. I can see
the deep richness of his tanned face, and it is full of youth, vibrancy, and
glow. He smiles at me, and he says, "I guess we've both grown some as
people, and spiritually as well, and we've come to understand, or at least,
we've begun to come to understand what is really important in life." He
puts his hand on my shoulder. As we walk away towards the upper deck, he says,
"Come on, now. We've got to get ready for Rose's party. I know I'm not
crazy about this, and neither are you. I can tell by your facial expressions,
and by the way you act, and what you say, but we've got to do this for her. I
mean, I think she extended the offer because she saw us as real humans, and she
wants to get closer to us in her own high society way."
I nod in agreement, even though even I
realize that now we're going to have to learn high society rules. I think to
myself, quite sarcastically, Oh, this ought to be real fun!