JASMINE
Chapter Fourteen
Jack and Jasmine Learn How to Put Up
Pretenses
Needless to say, after Jack delivered his
monumental speech to me I felt much better. So, I wasn’t the only one who could
have a spiritual impact on others! But my happiness was short-lived. I heard a
knock on the door, and I surmised it was Rose! Who else would think highly
enough of us to knock?
"Come in," I said. "The door
is open." The door slowly creaked open, as though Rose was trying to pay
us a modicum of obeisance by making the gesture, as though Jack and I were gods
who deserved such pious actions! I looked at Rose, and I noticed that, today,
instead of being decked out in all of her finery, she was wearing a simple
white muslin shirt, tucked into a long, plain white skirt. Why, she looked like
a washerwoman! Confused, I asked, "Rose, why are you wearing plain
clothes? You looked like such a queen in your finery!"
Rose looked at me, her deep and innocent blue
eyes bearing right into my soul, but not in an ominous way; rather, in a very
curious and childish way. She reminded me of a young and harmless child when
she looked at me. She said, "Don’t I always look like a queen?" in a
tone of voice that implied that she had been somewhat hurt by my words. Her
voice was so soft and benign and innocent, it reminded me of the gentle look of
a young doe!
I take one step back, and I look at her
again. I concentrate very hard, as I am tired, and I concentrate on her entire
profile, with her bright red hair, whose hues remind me of sun-ripened honey
that has permanently captured the warming and golden rays of the sun, and sure
enough, I see a divine radiance somehow projecting out of her image. But this
time it’s different. Instead of seeing a high society girl, who projects this
appearance because she is dressed up in so much finery, I see a young girl who
looks beautiful and grand! On the one hand, her garments make her look so
plain, but on the other hand, her beauty and radiance shines through, and her
clothes just serve to give her a more natural and sublime look. Suddenly, I
lapse into a trance, where I see her on a open prairie on a sunny day. There
she is, standing right in the middle of the fields of straight, golden weeds of
wild wheat and hay. I take deep breaths, and a sense of calmness washes over my
body as I look at her, and I can see the image in all of its vividness and
clarity, as though it was real! Her hair catches my eye, as it captures the
essence of the sun, and projects it in so many bright, yet reddish honey hues,
and all of a sudden, I see a surreal aura sweeping over her body and
transforming her in the process. I can see her, with her eyes shut and her arms
outstretched, raising her head so that her face can drink in the warmth and
rays of the sun. I can see a sense of calmness and tranquility wash across her
face, and suddenly, I realize that this is home for her! This is where she
belongs, and a sense of knowing and tranquility washes over me as I realize
that she has found her rightful place in the world! I look at her face, and I
see that it has a natural tanned complexion, as though the sun has baked her
skin in all of the appropriate ways to give her skin a natural glow!
I pull out of my trance, and I say,
"You’re right, but you don’t look like a queen. Rather, you look like a
gift from God!"
It is at this point in time that Rose’s eyes
widen, and a look of shock and amazement washes over her face. She says, in a
very startled voice, "My darling Jasmine, what do you say?"
I place a comforting hand on her right
shoulder, and I say, "Don’t worry, Rose. Someday, you will understand what
I say."
For now, the confused look on Rose’s face
indicates to me that she doesn’t understand what I say. Jack comes out and
looks at Rose, and a look of relief and happiness washes over his face. He
says, "Why, Rose…you…look natural, like somehow, the real you is showing
through over all of that bogus finery that you used to wear because you wanted
to cover up your real self!"
It is at this point in time that I am
catapulted into a rude state of understanding, for all of my ability to venture
deep into the spiritual realm, it never occurred to me that the finery she had
been wearing was bogus and had served to cover up the real essence of her…then
bang, like a rock that was rudely thrown at the side of my head, a hard idea
flies up from the spiritual realm and hits me! It dawns on me that Jack has hit
on the concept I had been seeing that had lain inherent and hidden all along in
all of my meditations. Rose had been putting on pretenses by going along with
all of the hoopla of the upper class. The upper class had tried to justify
their false and perceived higher status in society via various mechanisms, one
of which was donning very fine clothes as a way of assuring to themselves and
to others that their status was real, when in actuality, it was all perceived.
It was based on the perceptions that people convince themselves are true. In
reality, Cal is as much a gentleman as I am a toad! It is only by looking
beyond the artificial barriers that society teaches all of us is important that
we can begin to discover our true selves, as well as the truth in society! Rose
had made an important step towards liberation when she wore simple clothes,
because, by doing so, she realized that it is substance and not perceived image--those
who wear expensive looking and nice clothes are perceived by others to be rich
and important--that is important! My God! How wise Jack was! I was also hit by
another insight, because I remember one time when Prita walked into Waile’s
room wearing a nice, knee-length summer dress, and Waile remarked, "It
looks like you, with a little less dirt on your image!" In a way, that
statement was a mirror image of what Jack had just told Rose!
Anyway, Jack and Rose were now looking at me
with a funny look on their faces. They said, in unison, "Jasmine, what’s
wrong?"
I replied, "Nothing!"
Rose said, "Very well. Now, I know that
this is going to sound very strange, but I have arranged for both of you to
meet Mrs. Jones so that you can learn how to act and dress for the dinner
party. You see, you both are ladies and gentleman, but no one at the dinner
social will accede you to be that way, unless you learn how to act the
part!"
It is at this point in time that I try to
fight the bubbles of sarcastic laughter that are just itching to escape from my
throat, as I say, "Yes. We must learn to act the way they want us to act
to be accepted by them! It won’t do to just act like ourselves, because these
people don’t understand that chivalry comes in all types, shapes, and forms!"
Since we both had the day off from work--my
God, what a rare day that was--we weren’t worried that the superintendent would
go looking for us to have us do tasks. Rose and the two of us walked up to the
upper deck, where the privileged upper class men and women got to stay. As I
was walking up the stairs, I felt as though I was a lady in waiting, and in
disguise, who by some divine miracle was being invited to have a glimpse into
my true standing in life. I thought this was all the more telling, because I
was wearing washerwoman clothes as I was walking into a lady’s room.
Finally, we got to our destined place, and
Rose picked up the huge brass knocker that hung on the door and she knocked on
the knocker. I could hear the thuds on the door that the knocker made. The door
opened, and a very chubby and pleasant-faced middle aged woman opened the door.
I noticed that she was wearing a dark, rose-colored, long, flowing gown, and
she had her hair done up in a bun, and held up in a black net. Her hair was a warm
color of light brown, whose hues served to warm my soul. She was very friendly.
"Well, hello all! My name is Fran
Jones!" She was smiling at all of us, and her arms were outstretched in
warm welcome, as though she wished to hug all of us. Then, suddenly, her gaze
fell on me, and her smile disappeared a bit, and was replaced by a stunned look
on her face. She took a few steps backwards into her room. Somehow, she looked
as though she was meeting, I guess for the second, or third, or infinite time,
someone that she had known long ago.
I could pick up this thought by studying her
facial expressions, and I thought, But that’s impossible, because I have
never met this woman before! Then, my mind raced so many years to the
future, at the dawn of the twenty-first century, when, somehow, Prita was
spiritually attracted to a man she had never known, and fell in love with him
at first sight. Though she had never known him, somehow intuition had told her
that she had indeed known him! Funny, this was the same way I felt now!
Fran said, "My dear…are you
Jasmine?"
I reply, "How did you know my name? I
don’t know you!"
Fran said, "My dear, I have been to
India, and somehow, I swear that your face looks familiar!"
I give her an expression of confusion on my
face, and my facial expressions say to her, Well, I don’t know what to tell
you…
Then, Fran regains her composure, and she
sighs in relief. The smile reappears on her face, and she says, "Well,
come one, come all. Come right in. I hear that you’re trying to dress up for a
party!"
There is a slight lilt in her voice as she
says the words dress up for a party, and she is smiling as she says those
words. I think to myself, Oh, God. Does she have to rub that in?
Fran looked at Jack, and she said, "Why,
you’re the size of my son. I think I can shape you up with a nice suit."
It is at this point in time that she leans forward, and pinches his cheek. I
note that Jack scowls, and tries to move his face away from her hands, as if to
indicate that he does not wish for his cheek to be pinched!
I study her actions and her personality and
demeanor, and I realize that while she may be rich, she certainly does not act
like high society. She must be a noveau riche person! I look at her squarely in
the eye, and I say, in a very innocent, yet directing voice, "Fran, are
you part of old or new money?"
Fran smiles and sighs to herself
simultaneously, and she says, "Oh, Jasmine, I should have known that you’d
ask that question. I’m part of new money. My husband hit it rich in the
Klondike gold rush. Before that, we were settlers on what was left of the
frontier…" Then I note her saying, with a smile in her voice and a glint
in her eye, "But I’m quite enjoying my newfound status!" Somehow, I
figured! Then Fran looks at me, and she says, "Now, you’d look
good…in…well…in something that was…that was…divine!"
I look at her squarely, and I say, "And
what would that be?"
Fran turns her head up into the air, as
though to signify that she was in deep thought, and she says, "Well, now,
I don’t know. Perhaps you have some ideas!"
I rack my mind for ideas. Well, I could
just come as myself, wearing something like what I’m wearing now. Then I
think to myself, Nah. I’d have hell to hear for it for the rest of my life
if I did that! Then, eureka! It hits me! I look at her squarely in the eye,
and say, with a tone of directed innocence in my voice, "How about if I
wore a nice, deep red sari, with lots of white starry sequins on it?"
Fran jumps up, and she says, "You know,
I think you’d look divine and dashing in that!" Then Fran looks at me with
a twinkle in her eye, and she says, "And you know something? I have that
sari. I was waiting for the right moment to give it to you!"
My face suddenly is clouded with shock. Whoa,
what did she say? I was waiting for the right moment to give it to you!
Huh, now, this was not something I was prepared for. Somehow, had she known me
before. Well, to the best of my knowledge, I had never known her before!
Fran sensed the look of confusion on my face,
and she said, with an I-knew-it-all-along tone in her voice, "Now, dear,
it will make sense to you one day, but we were once both good friends in the
spiritual realm!"
The only thing I can think to myself is huh?
I may have a supernatural gift to see into the spiritual realm in my meditations,
but I had never seen that in any of my meditations! I look at her warm, medium
blue eyes, and now they are sparkling with tiny electric sparks, as though
somehow a supernatural force was working through her body. I shook my face in
sheer confusion, and a look of confusion came over my face, like a cloud cover
will suddenly and abruptly appear over a calm and sunny sky. For once, I was
the one who was confused!
Jack said to Fran, in a polite tone,
"Fran, I’ve never been fitted before for a suit. I would think it would be
such fun!"
Fran chuckled, and I noticed that a smile
came over her warm, welcoming. and round face, and she said, "Oh, you’re
really going to have so much fun!" I noted that when Fran smiled, her
whole face lit up with a healthy glow. Fran walked into her closet, and she
said, her voice trailing behind her as she spoke, "I’ll be back in a
minute!"
Meanwhile, I seized the moment to look around
the room. It was nicely done. I mean, there was fine china and ceramic and
pearl all over the room. Boy, some people get to live like royalty! I looked at
Jack and Rose, and both had somewhat bored looks on their face, as though they
were only slightly amused by what was going on. Somehow, I sensed that Fran was
the only one out of all of us who was having fun!
"Jack," I said. "So, how do
you like this?"
Jack looked down at the floor, as though he
was trying to indicate to Rose and I that he was bored out of his mind, and he
said, in a very quiet and contemplative voice, "I don’t like this. I’d
rather be dancing the night away than wearing some stuffy and scratchy
suit!"
I was half tempted to suggest that Jack don a
black salwaar kameez, but I did not. Even Rose looked uncomfortable, and the
look on her face indicated to me that she was, finally, beginning to realize
what she was subjecting us to.
"Look…" she said weakly. "I’m
sorry. I never intended it to be this way. I mean, I thought this was fun, a
game…!"
"Rose," I said, with a dead serious
tone in my voice. "You think everything is a game!"
Then, Rose replied with a somber tone in her
voice. Her voice was so small in volume and decibel as she said, "But now
I’m realizing that that’s not true!" Then she looked at us, and with a
look of desperation in her eyes, she said, "But you’ll be the guests of
honor at the banquet, won’t you?"
Both of us said, in unison, "What choice
do we have?"
Then, Fran walked back into the room, and all
of us feigned looks and attitudes of happiness and enthusiasm. She was carrying
a full length suit into the room. Jack’s eyes widened in amazement, and he
said, in shock, "You mean I have to wear that?"
Fran sang out in glee. "Of course, and
you’re going to love it!"
Well, somehow I doubted that one! Fran
proceeded to pull off Jack’s outer clothes, and Jack grunted in the process, as
though to indicate that he did not like being dressed by someone else. I was
beginning to sense that Jack was an independent-minded person who did not like
the concept of having someone else do the work for him! When Fran was done, she
smiled at Jack, and she said, "There, now, time for the dressing up and
the trimmings!"
The trimmings! My God, that suit was so dark
gray in color, and so heavy in appearance, that it could kill a whale. That
suit was a straitjacket, which probably would smother all but the strongest of
souls! Jack grunted as Fran began to button up his shirt, and pull the pants up
his leg. I looked out of the corner of my eye and I noticed that Rose was
giggling in glee. I could see the apples of her cheeks light up with a pinkish
honey glow, and her eyes lit up with a childish delight. So, she thinks that
this is funny! Well, in a way it was…but I don’t think Jack would think that
the scene was funny. I gathered that he wasn’t enjoying it at all. When Fran
was done, Jack looked as though he had just been manhandled. He had clearly not
enjoyed the process.
Then Fran looked at me. "Now, it’s your
turn."
I thought to myself, Oh, no, it’s not. You
are not going to embarrass me!
A look of concern suddenly came over Fran’s
face, and she asked, "Is anything wrong?"
I burst out, with tones of anger in my voice,
"There sure is. Okay, so it’s one thing to go ahead and dress up Jack as
though he was a baby, but you’re not going to follow suit with me!" Then
my soul broke, and I bent my body forwards, from the waist in a sense of
resignation, and I gasped. All the while, I had my hand on the dresser, as a
means to support myself.
Fran looked so hurt and disappointed. She
said, "I thought you would enjoy this."
I angrily retorted, "Enjoy this! Do you
think that Jack and I enjoy being treated like babies? I mean, come on. It’s
bad enough to be ridiculed by everyone else because we occupy the scummiest
class in society, but it’s another to be treated as though we were helpless
creatures because of our perceived social class. I mean, come on. I’m not a
helpless creature. Rather, I am a strong woman, and I expect to be treated that
way!" Fran took a step backwards in shock, and she looked as though she
was hurt. Then, I said, "I’m sorry. I guess I was a bit brash there…"
Fran said, "No, you’re right. You should
be dressing yourself."
She disappeared back into her closet, and
then reappeared with the sari. The colors and aura of the sari blinded me. Fran
had been right. The sari was a gift from heaven! The color of red was so bright
that it caught my eye, and all of a sudden, I was taken to another astral
plane. I saw myself on a parallel plane, in another dimension, where all I
could see was the color red by my waist, and the color green above it, and the
color of light beige below. I felt as though I was in heaven. Then, though I’d
been trying to keep my promise to Jack of being less self-absorbed, I
automatically lapsed into a vision. I could see the black cosmic fabric of time
beginning to curdle, in the same way that milk will curdle when lemon juice is
put in it. I see white curds of a whey-like substance appearing, and suddenly,
an opening in the fabric appears. There she is! Fran steps out of the fabric,
and she looks radiant! Her skin glows with a white translucent glow, and her
light brown hair shines with a very real aura. In fact, it’s so real that when
she shakes her rich hair in front of my eyes, I can see every detail, and I can
see the fine fibers in the strands of her hair.
She talks, and her voice resonates with a
divine sound. "Jasmine, you probably don’t know me, but in this realm, I
am a goddess. I have come to help you, and I have come to help deliver you from
your present state. Please don’t take offense to me, my dear."
When she walked out of the vortex, I could
see a very bright white light, which reminded me of the light of God, or the
light of bright stars behind her, and it served to illuminate her entire
presence and aura. The light was so bright that it blinded me, and I found
myself squinting.
I said, "So, how come I don’t know
you?"
The image of Fran said, "Because I’m
from another dimension."
I retort, "What? You and I are in the
same room on Earth. What are you talking about?"
The image replies, "Like you, I am a
spirit in human form."
The words spirit in human form resonate
throughout my soul, my mind, and my body. Suddenly, somehow, all aspects and
dimensions of me begin to have many flashbacks, and I am taken back to the
initial transformation, when I was told that I was to undergo a long and
tenuous transformation process that would render me to my true state, which was
a spirit in human form. All throughout my journey in the spiritual realm, the
spirits, from Frederick to Youseuf, throughout the many lives that I have lived
as Jasmine on Earth, and in the many spiritual realms above, have told me that
I was Jasmine, and that I was a spirit in human form, and that I must labor to
find out who Jasmine is. Then it hits me that this is just one piece in the
great cosmic puzzle in my quest to find out who Jasmine is.
The aura continues, "In this realm, I am
not Fran. I am a very strong and powerful spiritual force, and a goddess in my
own right, and I was sent by God to help you in your long and laborious
struggle to free yourself from the many cages that have held you for so long,
and that continue to bind you, and cause you much pain, suffering, and
misery."
Then, I have flashbacks again, because the
defining feature of Jasmine’s life had been cages that had held and bound her
for so long, and for so many centuries, and for so many life spans. I shudder
when I think about what is happening, and I can feel some long-held,
instinctual, and feral spiritual force uncoil and unfurl itself from the depths
of my spine, and, somehow, force its way up to the center of my mind, body, and
soul, and ultimately to myself. While this force does so, it serves to change
me transmutably in ways that no one except for God could describe. The image
continues, and as she is talking to me, I am held in a state of sheer
transformation in the back of my mind. Somehow, I have been magically
transported to the back of my mind, and now, my entire existence is in another
realm, far away, where I am being permanently transformed into something else,
and in the process, I am becoming my true self, which was the self that I was
before I was caged and trapped by the man of darkness!
The image says, "I know what you’re
going through. You don’t know how to respond to this, because this is beyond
the interpretation of even your vast and growing spiritual powers."
I respond, "Do you know who the man of
darkness is?"
Suddenly, the image has a startled look on
her face, and she steps back in fear. I can hear the tone of fear in her voice
as she says, "Do you mean Dracula?"
Then my mind volleys, and in both the
spiritual realm, and on Earth, I can feel a very sudden and familiar jolt rock
my mind, as somehow the pieces of enlightenment swirl around in my mind and
assemble themselves to paint the beginnings of a long and tenuous story, and a
very familiar picture.
I respond, "Yes, I mean Dracula…he’s
been my sore point for a long time."
A look of compassion comes over the image’s
face, as she says, with a tone of understanding in her voice, "Yes, I
know. Dracula is related to Cal. Both are in the same realm. In fact, in the
spiritual realm, they plot on projects together. Though she does not know it,
Rose is in as much danger from Dracula as she is from Cal. You must help
deliver her from her present situation."
I open my mouth, as I want to tell her, But
I don’t even know how to liberate myself.
It is as though the image can read my mind,
as she responds, "That is why I was sent here to help you…"
Then, she extends her arm out, and I can see
that it is a wholesome white color, with the undertones of a very rich yellowish
hue to indicate that the image is very healthy. I can see the intense white
light illuminating her hand. I reach forth, and I grab her hand with mine, and
I can feel the strong, warm, and comforting grip of her hand on mine, and then
something happens, as I can feel a jolt taking place in all of the realms and
dimensions, and I can sense that something monumental that changes destinies is
beginning to take place.
I am jolted out of my stupor, and I tell
Fran, "Yes. Let me try the sari on." I give her a very all-knowing
and confused look as I talk to her.
I try the sari on, and all of a sudden, I can
feel a warmth enveloping my body. Then, I am reminded of the warm and
comforting hand massages Siddharth used to give me. I would swear that these
massages felt like the touch of God, and this is how the warmth felt on my
body.
Then Rose says, "I can see it. You’re
lighting up with a very bright light!"
Jack shouted out, "Yeah, she’s right!
You are!"
I had a very confused look on my face.
"What are you talking about?" I ask.
Then Fran answers my question. "You made
a wise choice by choosing to wear the sari. It looks heavenly on you!"
Then she said, "You’re right, Jasmine. You’re an independent and strong
lady, and you can take care of yourself. But I think that the sari is starting
to bring out your supernatural powers!"
When she said the words supernatural powers,
her eyes lit up with a divine glow, and she looked at me with a twinkle in her
eye. Also, she leaned into me as she said the words. For now, I was totally
confused, but somehow, I could feel that the pieces of something greater and
deeper were coming together in my body, and somehow, the ultimate answer, what
in the twenty-first century scientists would call the ultimate model that would
explain everything in the universe in its entirety was coming to me, somehow
from another realm.
Well, I felt as though, somehow, Jack, Rose,
and I had crossed some sort of spiritual milestone. When I looked at Rose, I
noticed that she was smiling at me, as was Jack, and both of them had looks of
contentment on their faces, as though, somehow, through my profound spiritual
experience with Fran, they had become enlightened. But then I was very
confused, because they hadn’t experienced my spiritual experience with Fran,
but then it hit me! Somehow, the aura from the my spiritual experience, which
originated from and emanated from the spiritual realm, had reached them, and
had enlightened them. Sure enough, if I looked closely on their faces, I
noticed that a sort of deeper understanding and ultimate enlightenment was
creeping into their souls, and manifesting itself on their faces. Even Fran was
smiling at me in a healthy way, and I realized that the spiritual experience
had not been for them. It had been for me! It allowed me to begin to uncage
myself, for in the process, that was the way that they would be uncaged! And I
realized, that far from being a noveau socialite who liked to entertain others,
Fran was a very serious and helpful soul with special spiritual insights who
had been put in my path to help all of us! It was through me that she was
reaching to Jack and Rose, and helping them in the process!
I thought to myself, My God. Every day on
the Titanic is a new experience that teaches me something new! Soon, I will get
to learn how to act like an upper class lady. Then I smile to myself, as I
think, Oh, well. That shouldn’t be so bad!