JASMINE
Chapter Five
I lay down in my bunk bed in the third level
of the Titanic. I am a night person, and it is eight o’clock at night, so sleep
is not coming my way yet, so I meditate in the hopes that I will, eventually,
fall asleep by that venue. I close my eyes and go deep into the back of my
mind, and my soul into deep thought. I can feel and hear my breathing becoming
very deep and regularized. I also feel my mood and brain chemistry changing.
Later in the twentieth century and in the twenty-first century, meditation and
its power and effects on the mind and body would catch the attention of
scientists, and they would call the changed effect it brings on the mind, body,
and soul an altered state of mind, but I know it is one way for humans to tap
into their spiritual selves, and to enter the spirit world, which is the realm
of God.
My mind gravitates towards Rose’s room. How
is she doing? I wonder. I see her sitting down in front of her dressing table.
She is wearing a pearly-white dress, and her face glows with such life, it
reminds me of fine porcelain. I see that her hair glows quite radiantly against
the soft light of electric lamps. She is staring in the mirror, getting ready
for the night, which will probably consist of dinner parties. Not that I really
care for dinner parties. I ascribe to a very humble and simple life, but I
would just love to attend such a party, just once! But, my social position will
not allow that. I mean, her birth has relegated her to an upper class life, and
my birth has relegated me to serve those people. I see Rose become very
startled as Cal walks into the room. I note that there is absolutely no emotion
on his face. I see that he doesn’t even recognize her as being a normal human
being. For him, the world is totally rational, and can be summed up in a black
and white way of analysis. That is, some people are naturally destined to
inhabit certain classes in life because of their birth, and some people are
naturally destined to serve them. From his standpoint, the white people are
naturally destined to be the ruling elite, and the darker people, like me, are
naturally destined to serve them. However, only some white people are destined
to rule, and they are those with money. For him, people with money and status
are the only ones who count. Others, no matter how decent people they may be,
don’t count, and deserve to be stepped on and used. I breathe a sigh of relief
that Rose does not subscribe to this narrow mindset. I see through the look
that Cal gives Rose, through his cold and hard, calculating eyes that he sees
the world in a zero sum game. For him, his fiancée is nothing but property, a
pawn to be used in his game of conquest. That she is young and pretty makes her,
from his standpoint, a token wife, something to show off to his colleagues. I
see a very intense fire burning in his eyes. This fire is, unmistakably, the
fire of evil and hatred. Cal is a man who can see no emotion or color in life
whatsoever. He walks straight up to her, and his mannerisms clearly indicate to
me that, for him, she has no rights, and she is free for him to breach and use
in any which way. That is because she is his. Therefore, she doesn’t have the
right to feel or think as a normal human does. For him, she should be more
concerned about her place in society, and about how that place and her actions
will affect him. From his standpoint, that is the only thing that matters. She
has a right to exist, as long as her existence will help him gain even greater
glory, fame, power, and riches. I wake up with a jolt from my meditations
because this bothers me. I am greatly bothered to discover that Rose is about
to be thrust into such a situation. I am gaining the impression that she has
been thrust into this situation by circumstances that she can’t control. She
doesn’t identify with such a social class, or such values at all, and she is,
desperately, pining to escape from her situation. I am also disturbed to
discover that Cal intends to treat her as sheer property, and expects her to
live up to expectations and present an image that I know she can’t present, or
live up to. I see now that it is imperative that I try to help her, and, I
know, that in the process, I will be helping myself.
Anyway, I go back to my meditations. I see
Cal forcefully lowering a huge necklace that is composed of large, white
diamonds and has a huge blue diamond at the center. I wince in pain, because I
wonder if these diamonds have been procured from the mines of India.
Cal tells Rose, "This was the wedding
present that King Louis XIV gave his wife. The diamond in the middle is the
Hope Diamond."
I contort in pain, because I know that the
Hope Diamond is originally from India. Rose looks at Cal in sheer confusion, as
though she has been given something that she doesn’t understand or identify
with. For her, it is just a nice necklace, and nothing else.
She takes the necklace from his hand, and
says, "All right." Then, I see him walking out of the room.
When Cal has completely exited the room, Rose
looks at the necklace in curiosity, and then she puts it on her neck. When I
see the necklace in the mirror, I am blinded by its amazing power. I mean, all
of the diamonds catch the light in the room, and they reflect the sparkle hundredfold,
until all I see are thousands of little sparkles dancing whichever way in the
mirror. The blue diamond gives off a very serene and calming glow in the
mirror. When I look at her in the mirror, I see a queen wearing a necklace that
appears to glow with some sort of strange magic. She doesn’t look like a normal
person. Rather, she looks like some sort of character from a fairy tale,
wearing a necklace that has supernatural powers. The necklace itself doesn’t
look as though it’s composed of gems. Rather, it looks like it is made out of
some intense, supernatural white light that glows with its own character and
form. I may have lived for thousands of years and in many worlds, but this is
the first time I have seen something like this. I surmise, by seeing this, that
the necklace must be cursed.
It is morning, and I wake up. Just as I have
finished getting dressed, my superior comes to me. "Jasmine," he
says, "I want you to tidy up affairs in Rose DeWitt Bukater’s room."
I respond, "All right." But, secretly,
my heart is freezing. I mean, I know that I am on Cal’s hit list, and I know
that he would like to do away with me, because he does not want Rose to
associate with me. Sometimes, I wish my boss would tell me about things like
this in advance so that I could best prepare myself spiritually for them. Well,
I am a spirit, and therefore, I know how to take care of myself, and I have
seen danger before, so I put on my fearless face, and I head towards Rose’s
room.
I suppose Rose had been waiting for me,
because she says quite cheerfully, "Hello. Please tell me what your name
is."
"It’s Jasmine," I say in a rushed
tone, underneath my breath.
"You know," Rose says. "I
wanted to chitchat with you, so I asked my maidservant, your boss, to order you
to come here."
I sigh in frustration, and I swallow a hard
lump that has formed in my throat. I give Rose a hard look. I don’t think she
realizes the imminent danger she is putting herself and me in by doing this. I
mean, I could get into serious trouble, and so could she, if Cal, or anyone
else from the upper classes, sees us together. For them, it won’t matter that
my boss ordered me to come into her room. For them, I will be an indolent pest
who is getting into affairs that don’t concern her, and for this reason, I
should be done away with. Rose doesn’t seem to realize that this is not a game.
I say, "Well, tell me what needs to be
cleaned up."
Rose says, cheerfully, "Nothing."
I give her a quizzical look. "Well, why
would you want me to come down if you didn’t need my help?" I ask her.
Rose said, in a very playful voice, "I
want you to see something."
Curiosity gets the best of me, so I come
closer. But before I do so, I notice that Rose is a very carefree girl who is
spoiled. She has been waited on hand and foot for all of her life, so she takes
everything for granted. She is a carefree and happy-go-lucky girl who thinks
with her heart and soul, and not with her head. For her, the world is
permanent, and she will always be taken care of. She has always had money and
comfort, and so she is not capable of understanding a world where that doesn’t
exist.
Oh! When the Arabian Shaenshahs had overran
Sindh province, first in A.D. 792, and then in A.D. 795 and had ordered all
infidels to convert to Islam on the sword, I wished I had had that luxury. Our
conversion to Islam still did not save us from slavery. My mind jumps even
further, to the 650’s A.D., when the new religion of Ibn Mohammed--Prophet
Mohammed--was all the craze in Assyria, and the caliphs were compelling
everyone to convert to the light that was Allah. These caliphs were even going
so far as to confiscate the property of infidels and to enslave them. Strange,
my family did convert, but we were still pauperized and enslaved, and Allah did
not come to our rescue.
But such stories would make little impression
on Rose. Her response would be, "Well, why don’t you just leave with your
servants?" Well, when you are a servant, and you are starving, and you are
kept under constant watch by guards and by a rigid system, it is very difficult
to leave. I think about Rose, and I am beginning to realize that, for her, life
is a game. She doesn’t understand that there are steadfast rules to life. She
just wants to live for the moment and to have fun. I mean, there is nothing
wrong with that, but I have been in so many situations where I have had to be
grown-up at such a young age, I couldn’t live life the way she does. I’d be
dead if I did. She also is used to everything being given to her, and she just
assumes that because things are this way one day, they are going to stay that
way. She assumes that since she is rich now, she will always be rich. But I’ve
seen cases where wealth disappeared overnight, and people were forced to beg.
She is not capable of seeing life in the tough reality that many of those who
live by hard labor do, because she has never had to live on the edge of life,
or had to fight for anything. I admire her for this. I really think she is a
lucky girl.
I feel a box in my dress pocket, and I
produce it out of my pocket, and I notice that it is a box that contains a
necklace. I open it, and I see a very beautiful but thin necklace that is
composed of twenty-four karat gold beads and coral beads, strung in the order
of gold bead and then coral, and then gold bead. I lift the necklace out of the
box, and I note that the gold produces a magical reflection on the bottom of
the box.
Rose gasps, and asks, "What is
that?"
"Well," I tell her. "In 1299
A.D., I visited Delhi. It was, and still is, the capital of India. Back then,
Hindu princes ruled the region, and I used to frequent an old artisan who would
make beautiful jewelry. I came from a poor family, so I used to serve as a
housemaid for him, and in return, he would gift me with jewelry that he would
make for sale. He gave me this for my birthday. On the eve that he gave me
this, Turkic warrior men and Tamerlane--Genghis Khan’s grandson--burst into the
city, sacked it, and took all of the skilled artisans, including him, to
Tashkent--a city in Central Asia--to work on their minarets. However, this
necklace served as a continual reminder of him for me."
Rose asked, "Can I wear it?"
"Well," I say. "It’s very
simple, but…all right." I take the necklace out of the box, and put it on
her neck, and I notice that the hook clasp slides right in. I hear a very soft
click when I clasp the necklace on her neck, and I sense that something magical
has happened in the spiritual realm.
I look in the mirror with her, and both of us
gasp to see that the familiar image of her in her finery fades, and is replaced
by an image of a very healthy and serene and divine homely girl. This girl is
very pretty, but she is wearing a dark black salwaar kameez. This dress, which
consists of a long tunic worn over baggy pants, shines with a supernatural glow
in the mirror. It has a luster that amazes, even my eye. I look at the designs
on the kameez, and I notice that it resembles the night sky, because I see an
embroidered image of a green half moon, and surrounding it are lots of little
white glittering dots that represent stars. I look at the necklace, and I
notice that the golden beads shine with a luster that make them look as though
they are composed of the shine of the sun. She looks much different now than
she has ever looked, and I notice that she has a natural look about her face
and body, as though she has found her true place in life, spirituality, and in
the spirit world. I notice the humble, happy, and content look on her face, and
I see that she looks at me with such contentment, happiness, and serenity on
her face, and she is smiling back at me. I smile in contentment. However, Rose
may be going through an awakening.
She looks awed in the mirror, and she says,
in a trembling voice, "Is that me? Is that who I really am? I would love
to be that person. She appears to be so content, serene, and powerful. She
appears to be very spiritual in nature. Why, she looks like a goddess!"
She turns to me with a look of sincerity on her face, and asks me, in a soft
voice, "Jasmine, may I keep this necklace?"
I say, "Okay."
She says, in glee, "I’m going to wear
this always." I think to myself, Oh, great, but I know that she has
her mind set on this. She continues, "I feel as though I were a princess
when I wear this. This is my way of finding myself. I feel so special when I
wear this necklace. I thought the necklace that Cal gave me was nice, but this
makes me feel like a queen, like I was God’s child! I’m going to protest the
establishment by wearing this, and I’m going to enjoy doing this."
I could hear the tone of enjoyment that crept
into her voice as she said this, and I thought to myself, Oh, great! She
takes the necklace off of her neck, and I note that the area of her neck where
she wore the necklace has a very healthy and radiant glow. It looks as though
the necklace healed that part of her neck. That part of her neck looks very smooth,
soft, and natural, and has a very fair and pretty look to it.
She says, with a glint in her eye, and a
scandalous tone in her voice, "Look at what I have!"
She brings out a case, and she opens it. I
gasp. It’s the necklace that I saw. Out of curiosity, I gingerly put my finger
on some of the white diamonds. My eyes are blinded by the sheer reflection that
the diamonds give as they reflect the light in the room. I see thousands of
dancing little intense white pinpoints of light accosting my eye, and I swear I
am looking at something quite magical. I am overcome by sheer awe. I mean, I
get to look at and touch such a thing! I have never seen such a thing before in
my life. I moan in sheer amazement. I feel as though I am a little baby who has
been given a sweet, only the feeling is more intense.
Rose says, "Would you like to wear
this?"
My eyes widen in such amazement, Rose would
swear that my irises are disappearing completely. I say, in a faltering voice,
"Uh…wear this? Well, I’m not sure…"
Rose says, "Oh, come now. Don’t be
bashful. I think you’d look dazzling in this."
Suddenly, I give Rose a down-to-earth look as
I ask her, "Rose, what if I get caught?"
Rose says, "Oh, don’t worry about it.
Cal is going to be gone for hours. Come on. Wear it."
She takes the necklace out of the case and
puts it on my neck. I can hear the clasp click in the back, and all of a
sudden, I feel a jolt, as though something crucial has happened in the
spiritual realm.
I look at myself in the mirror, and tears
flood my eyes. The familiar image of me in my regular working clothes, wearing
a fancy necklace with seeming supernatural powers, only appears in the mirror
for a moment. Then, a new image appears before my eyes. I see a very lovely and
mysterious girl, who is quite beautiful, looking back at me in the mirror. Her
face bespeaks exoticness and mystery. I see her jet black hair that is shoulder
length, and I see that she is wearing a deep blue satin dress. The color of the
dress is enhancing the rich and deep tone in her medium dark skin. I look at
her face, and I see that a very natural and light honey-like glow emanates from
them. I see that a divine light is lighting up her face, and giving it a very
godly and surreal look. I look at the necklace, and I see that it is no ordinary
necklace. Rather, it shines with a sublime radiance in the mirror, and I see
that the reflection of the diamonds in the mirror makes the necklace shine with
such a glow, luster, and sparkle that it looks like it has come straight from
God. Then, I look at the blue diamond in the middle, and I see that it
contrasts and complements my blue dress quite nicely, and makes me look as
though I were a queen. I look at the confident and liberated girl in the
mirror, and I shake my head in carefree abandon. I guess Rose could see the
reflection, too, because she says, "Why, you look like a queen. You should
wear the necklace, not me."
"Rose," I say. "It’s not
possible. Please, keep the necklace."
"Jasmine," she says. "I don’t
want this necklace. You should wear it."
I sigh, and I look in the mirror. When I see
that girl staring back at me, I swear that she takes on a personality of her
own. She is another person. She is the soul I have been pining for many
thousands of years to become. I reach my hand out to the mirror in the hopes of
touching the soul that appears in the mirror. At the same time, I burst into
tears because I am reminded that I am staring at a soul that I will never
become. I am filled with sadness and grief. This is worse than slavery. At
least with slavery, you don’t know what is possible. Now I know what God had
destined me to be, and I would love to occupy this place, but I know, that
barring a supernatural act of God, this will never happen. I will never be
liberated, and I will never become the girl or the soul that I see in the
mirror that God has destined me to be. I know that the forces of evil have
determined that I should spend all of my existence enslaved and serving others,
and trapped in cages. The forces of evil have successfully seen to it that I
should spend my life unfree and miserable. I feel as though my heart was going
to explode with misery.
"Rose," I say, my voice trembling.
"Please take this necklace off of my neck now."
Rose says, "I think you look magical in
it."
Hell, if she won’t take it off, I will! I
undo the clasp, and rip the necklace off of my neck in sheer frustration. I
hand it back to her. Now, my neck stings and burns, and when I look in the
mirror I see a red mark on my neck where the necklace hung. The red mark is
growing in intensity and color, and the sting hurts so much that it smarts, and
the mark takes the exact impression of the necklace. God dammit, now everyone
is going to know!
"Rose," I ask her. "Did you
wear this necklace anywhere yesterday?"
"Yes," Rose replies. "I wore
it to two dinner parties, and everyone noticed it, especially the ladies, and
Cal was quite impressed by the way it looked on me. Everyone said that they had
never seen such a wonderful necklace before. They said it made me look like a real
queen. They said that the necklace seemed to be out of this world, and that
they would never forget what it looked like."
Rose is giggling to herself. Oh, great!
That’s really what I need to hear. "Rose," I say. "Please look
at my neck."
Rose sees the burn mark, and she says,
"I guess the necklace didn’t like your neck," quite innocently. Rose
continues, "I’m just going to make everyone jealous by wearing this!"
I gasp in exasperation. Rose just doesn’t
seem to get what has happened. "Rose, now everyone will know I have been
in your room. They will be able to tell by looking at my neck!" I tell
her, in a realistic tone.
Rose says, "Well, just cover it up with
something."
With what? I desperately look around, and my
eyes are scanning the room with audacity. I really need to be getting out of
here before someone catches me. Ah ha. My eyes spot a scarf, and I smartly tie
it around my neck, just above the collar of my dress so that it will look as
though it was a continuation of my dress.
I say, while rubbing my palms against my
skirt, "Well, I’d best go now, but please, don’t call me down unless you
need something to be done."
Rose says, "All right." But I don’t
think she really heard me.
I walk out of her room, and all of a sudden,
sheer instinct tells me to run like crazy, as fast as I can, to my bunk. My
legs take off, and in record speed, I am back in my bunk bed. I pant, because I
can’t ever remember running so fast, not even when I was Jessamyn in the
Gaulish occupied Roman Empire and I was conscripted by the Gauls to fight the
advancing Romans, and my troop was running for their lives from the war-crazed
Romans who were destroying everything in sight. My mind slips into sudden
meditation, and I see Cal walking into the room, and his eyes lower to a
hateful glower when he sees the necklace I gave Rose shine quite radiantly and
rebelliously on her neck.
"Rose," he says in a very soft yet
threatening voice. "Where did you get that necklace from, who gave it to
you, and why are you not wearing the necklace I gave you?" He is yelling
at her now.
"A lady gave it to me, Cal, and the
necklace is away for tonight," Rose answers in a matter of fact tone.
Cal says, "Did you talk to that girl
again?"
Rose says, "No. Mrs. Hudson gave it to
me. She got it when she visited India." I breathe a sigh of relief that
she had sheltered me, but I knew that Cal still suspected.
I turn my head because I am startled. I hear
humming, and I turn around to see a young man, about the age of nineteen,
getting ready for bed. I look at him. He is quite handsome, and he has skin
that has been darkened by the sun. He has a small frame, but his hardy body
indicates to me that he has done lots of hard labor. I note that his dirty
blond hair contrasts his tanned skin and gives him a very modest look. It also
serves to enhance his good looks. I note that he has a very pleasant look on
his face and in his eyes. I look straight into his eyes, and I see the
reflection of a very nice and caring person, of a very decent, honest, and down-to-earth
man. Whoever he is, he would be the perfect match for Rose.
By now, he has noticed that I am looking at
him, so he asks, "Who are you?"
I respond, "Who are you?"
He replies, "My name is Jack
Dawson."
I say, "My name is Jasmine."
But at the moment that he tells me his name,
my mind spins and volleys, as though it is transcending and transgressing the
centuries, and I am brought to flashbacks from my meditation scenes in which I
had seen that Rose would meet someone who looked exactly like him, with the
name of Jack.
Jack notes the look of confusion on my face,
and he asks me, "Is something wrong?"
I reply, "No. I’m just tired."
Jack says, "Perhaps we should get to
know each other better."
I say, "No. You should get to know Rose
better."