A SIMPLE KIND OF LIFE
Chapter Six
April 14, 1912
Jack blinked as if in disbelief.
He was amazed by the opulence of Rose’s stateroom. Of course, his was
beautiful, but this was like a dream.
He set his drawing materials on
the marble table and turned to Rose.
"So, you got the most
luxurious suite on the ship?" Jack laughed.
"It was last minute. I was
transferred to travel on the Titanic because of the coal strike, and a
gentleman dropped out of sailing at the last minute, so I accepted this
suite."
Rose strolled into the wardrobe
room and Jack followed her. Again, he was taken away by the size.
"Rose, I could live in here
alone." They both laughed.
"Breakfast is served,
Miss!" a steward called from the sitting room.
Rose had ordered breakfast to be
served in her room this morning so she and Jack could dine alone, away from
prying eyes. Rose strolled to the private deck, followed by Jack.
Sunlight was shining across the
deck. Their table was set up with croissants, orange juice, and coffee and a
single red rose sat in a small vase in the center of the small table.
"I wish every morning was
like this, Rose," Jack stated. He felt like he was in a dream. Rose smiled
at his romanticism.
"I wish every day was as
straightforward as this. I wish my life was easy. I wish I could make decisions
which I will benefit from."
Jack frowned, taking a sip of his
coffee. He thought she seemed happy this morning.
"I’m sorry, Jack. I just
have so much to face when I dock, it’s unreal. I could face becoming
homeless."
"That will never happen,
Rose. I won’t allow it."
"I can’t just leave my
mother alone. I love her. She is a selfish and unreasonable woman, but still my
mother."
Jack nodded, understanding a
little.
"I have so many thoughts I
wish I could banish."
"Well, talk to me, Rose…make
me understand. Lift the heavy weight from your shoulders."
"I wouldn’t want to burden
you, Jack. They’re not your problems, they’re mine. But thank you."
Jack nodded. Inside, he was a
little worried for her. He didn’t know what was wrong. He wished she would
share her thoughts with him and open up to him. But she seemed so much like a
closed book. He knew very little of this woman, yet he knew she felt something
for her, but his knowledge of her as a whole was a small fraction.
The rest of their day was spent
together. They attended lunch together and dined with Mr. Andrews, the Astors
and, of course, Molly.
Mrs. Brown was a wealthy woman
from Denver. Her husband had come into some money and it had obviously caused
quite a stir when she had joined their social party. A large number of the rich
had been born into their social status, like Rose had. Others had built up a
business from scratch and had earned money that way. Molly was a rather plump
lady and had more personality than the entire table had merged. She was a
little fiery and loud, but Rose found her to be a fascinating woman. She had
fought for women’s rights for a few years and still continued her work, no
matter what the men of the world thought of her, and for this, Rose admired her
deeply. Rose had apologized for her sudden disappearance the evening before at
dinner, blaming sickness and, of course, the table had bought into this. They
wouldn’t have an inkling in the world of what had really happened last night
and if they did, they most certainly would have shooed both Jack and Rose from
the table. Maybe that was the best part of the whole thing. It was a secret.
*****
Sunset. The sky was a blend of
pink, orange, and yellow. The deck was almost deserted, with the exception of a
few couples who strolled quietly in the late evening breeze. Most passengers
were inside, preparing to attend dinner. Jack and Rose had chosen to opt out of
attending dinner and just chose to spend their evening together. The Titanic
would be docking soon and they wanted to spend as much time together as
possible, for neither of them knew what would happen when she did dock.
Rose’s dress seemed to match her
mood--colorful and free. It was many shades of pink, blue, and lilac. It seemed
to flow as she strolled, her left arm linked through Jack’s. Her coat was a
dark beige and did little to shield her from the late evening chill. She wore a
diamond and sapphire necklace at her throat. It glimmered in the dim light.
Her hair was pinned just half up,
her curls seemed to spiral uncontrollably down her back, and her eyes shone
with happiness.
Jack was relaxed as he led Rose
on their evening stroll. Even he seemed to have forgotten the way a gentleman
was supposed to stand. He seemed to hunch a little.
Their smiles reflected their
inner happiness. This was how Rose wished to live her life, simple and free.
"What a beautiful
sunset." Jack beamed as he led Rose to the railing.
"It is. I wish I could
witness every sunset and sunrise."
"You will. I’ll make sure of
it."
Rose laughed. "How will
you?"
"I don’t know. We’ll awake
early in the small hours and watch the sunrise and bring us into a wonderful
new day."
Rose’s smile faded. In just a few
new days, the ship would be docking. She knew she couldn’t have stayed aboard the
ship forever, but she knew that as soon as her feet were back on American soil,
she became Cal’s property once again. No matter how hard she would try to
escape, he would find her. She knew it.
"We dock in just a few days,
Jack. What then? How do we see the sunset together from different states?"
Jack shrugged before gently
touching Rose’s soft cheek. The beautiful orange glow cast a light over her
face and to him she had never looked so stunning, yet at the same time, so
innocent.
"I don’t know, Rose."
And he didn’t know. He couldn’t lie or pretend. They had both already made
plans for when they arrived home and they didn’t include each other at first,
but now?
"My plan was to return to my
mother, no matter how cruel or selfish she is. She is all I have, Jack. I
cannot survive this world alone. I have no skills, no talents. Maybe becoming
the wife of Caledon Hockley is my destiny."
Jack shook his head. "No,
Rose. You see that?" He gestured to the ocean and the breathtaking sunset.
"This is yours now. Follow the horizon. Chase your dreams."
Rose shook her head. Jack was not
being logical.
"Jack, I can’t. If Cal finds
me, he will probably murder me. I can’t keep running like this, Jack. You can
chase your dreams, Jack. You’re happy…"
"I wasn’t happy, Rose. I
have everything I need right here with me. Air in my lungs, some blank paper,
and you, Rose. That makes me the happiest, to know I have you."
Rose could feel tears in her eyes
forming and threatening to fall. No one had ever said anything like that before
to her and actually meant it, and she could tell by the way he spoke them to
her and the way his thumb caressed her cold hands tenderly that he meant his
words.
"Jack…I…I’ve never lived. I
haven’t seized the moment. I’d love to be myself, but just take another name
and run and be free to roam places I never knew existed. I want to ride wild
horses, dance as if no one is watching. I want to spit like a man, smoke like a
man. I want to be passionate, you know? Experience passion, expose my naked
body to a man and see the love in his eyes as I did so. I want to make love
under a starlit sky. I’ve never done any of those things…"
Jack blushed as she spoke her
last few sentences and then gazed at Rose, who was unfazed by her own truth.
She was deadly serious.
"I have never even been
drawn, Jack."
"How can an artist have not
drawn you? You are any artist’s dream, Rose."
He meant his words. He would
sketch her in a heartbeat and she would be his ultimate masterpiece, although
he knew her true beauty could never be put onto paper.
"Am I your dream,
Jack?"
She blushed a little at herself
for being so forward with her words, but at that moment, Jack could no longer
fight himself.
He placed his hand gently on her
cheek and then brought his lips to hers. He kissed her with a passion that
neither had experienced before, not even last night when they had shared their
first kiss.
Jack had longed to kiss her. He
had longed to feel his lips on hers, and now that he was kissing her, he never
wanted to stop.
This was what he wanted for the
rest of his life. Although he was just nineteen years of age, he knew what he
wanted.
Reluctantly, Jack pulled away and
saw Rose’s body shiver. It was then that he realized the sudden drop in the
temperature. It seemed almost icy.
"Maybe we should go inside.
I don’t want you to catch anything."
Rose nodded and began to walk a
little hesitantly. Jack stopped and turned to her, wondering what was wrong.
She turned to face him and simply
smiled.
"I am happy, Jack. I have
never been this happy."
Jack smiled weakly. "I know,
Rosie. Becoming king couldn’t make me happier than I am with you."
At this, they both laughed. At
that moment, Rose, for once in her life, moved closer to Jack, put her hand in
his, and gingerly kissed him. It was slow and hesitant. Her move surprised them
both.
Some onlookers gasped in horror,
some even knowing them, but they didn’t care. The people would gossip and then
something new would come along the next day. This was her life now and she was
going to live it.
"So, would you draw me,
Jack? I think I should begin living my life…"
Rose led him inside to her
stateroom, out of the evening chill.
Dinner was still in progress, for
when Jack checked the time on his pocket watch, it was only 8:15 PM. Neither
Jack nor Rose could think of a more boring way to spend their evening.
Dinner seemed endless most
nights. The chatter bored Jack to pieces. He himself was not a man who joined
in this sort of social circle, but with some of the interesting people at the
table, Jack had taken a chance to join them.
Jack would much rather have gazed
at the stars for a while, or simply sketched the night away if he been alone.
He had met Rose purely by chance,
taking the opportunity to enjoy the morning sun and draw some of the life here
on the Titanic.
He had drawn the ship from the
dock, and though he thought so himself, the sketch was one of his best works.
Upon reaching her stateroom, Rose
had grown increasingly nervous, not knowing the reason why. She was only with
Jack. She had nothing to hide or be ashamed of, for he now knew her better than
anybody ever had. He knew of her dreams and passions for life. He knew of her
feelings and she knew of his.
"I always wanted to fly when
I was a child. To just be a bird and soar."
"You can do that now, Rose.
You have chosen the path you wish to follow, so follow it. You can do anything
you wish to now. Go and be passionate about the things you want."
Rose knew he was right. Maybe she
shouldn’t be worried about Cal. Maybe she wouldn’t have to become the wife of
an attempted rapist.
"I wouldn’t know where to
start, Jack. Would you help me?"
"Of course. How about we
start with that sketch, huh?"
"Yes. Make me look like a
princess or something. Make me gaze into the new future which I now have to
look forward to."
"Rose, I don’t need to make
you. You already are the most beautiful woman in the world to me. Any man would
be lucky for you to be standing right here with them, Rose. I knew just how
lucky I was last night when you confessed you felt something for me."
Rose ducked her head down for a
moment, remembering and feeling slightly embarrassed.
"Don’t be sorry you ever
said anything." Jack worried a little, thinking she was regretting
something.
"I’m not sorry, Jack. Just a
little surprised I even said anything."
"I am lucky that you have
feelings for me…I’m not saying how strong they are or what those feelings may
turn into, but one thing’s for sure…you have them for me, just like I do for
you, Rose. I know just how strong my feelings are for you. Sometimes so much it
overwhelms me."
Turning her head away, Rose felt
tears fall from her eyes. This felt so real. She knew she wasn’t dreaming and
that this amazing man was standing in front of her and confessing these words
she had never heard before. She wasn’t used to it.
"I’m sorry," Jack
apologized, not realizing what an effect his words had on her.
"Don’t be. I’m just not used
to it, that’s all. For so many years, I have felt emotionally abandoned, and
now I have the opportunity and I don’t know what to do with it."
"Follow your heart,
Rose…always follow your heart. You maybe overwhelmed at times, but this is the
present, Rose. Everything else is in your past. I may not promise you much, but
I want to make you happy and give you what you want."
"I do know what I want,
Jack…"
Rose’s voice sounded timid,
almost childlike. Her tears were now dry and she was doing as Jack told her.
She was following her heart. She wanted Jack to see her for who she really was
before they began to open their hearts properly, because she knew that once she
did open her heart, it would never close on Jack. Ever.
"Jack, I want you to draw me
like one of your French girls…wearing this."
Rose clutched the necklace at her
throat, which had always meant so much to her. Her grandmother’s.
Jack nodded, eyeing the necklace
as it glittered on her low neckline. "All right," he replied simply.
Rose took a deep breath, not sure
what his reaction would be to her request. Would he even consider her request?
Her heart pounded as she thought for a few moments and then spoke.
"No, Jack. Wearing only
this…"
Jack’s breath become fast in his
throat and his eyes darted to hers, searching for a clue in her face to see if
she was joking, but she wasn’t.
How could he draw her nude? How
could he concentrate?
"Are…are you sure?" he
managed. Rose nodded. "If that’s what you want, then…I will oblige,
Rose." He smiled.
"I will go prepare. Please
arrange the furniture to your own comfort. I will be back in a short
while." With that, Rose proceeded to her bedroom, leaving Jack more than
stunned.
How the hell could he sketch her
nude? How could he gaze upon her beautiful body and not want to just kiss her
all over? He felt a little sick with nerves. He had never seen a woman he was
in love with nude before…but then again, he had never been in love. Was he
really in love, or was this something else? He didn’t know. He knew he wanted
her, though, in body, mind, and soul he wanted her.
He knew he couldn’t save her from
the confines of the society that they both seemed to be trapped in, but he
could save her from Cal. He couldn’t offer her much, but he had a little which
he could offer her. He knew Caledon Hockley was worth more of a fortune that
he, but Jack knew with Rose it wasn’t about money. She trusted him fully and he
knew that. She wouldn’t have asked him to draw her nude otherwise. At that
moment, Jack knew that Rose would soon be a changed woman. She needed to live,
to enjoy herself, to become free, and Jack would do everything in his power to
help her along the way.
Rose removed the pins from her
hair and shook her head to loosen her curls as they fell down her back. She
stood before the mirror in her black kimono. It was soft against her bare skin.
She had never felt anything like this. She knew the garment didn’t leave much
to the imagination, but that didn’t matter, for in a small amount of time, she
would appear nude in front of Jack.
She knew her request had come as
a surprise to Jack, but she had to break free and she knew he would do what he
could to help her.
A small smile crept onto her face
as she pondered what his reaction would be to her nude figure standing before
him.
Her heart was pounding
thunderously in her chest and her hands shook slightly. Rose thought of her
mother and what her reaction would be to her well-behaved daughter appearing
naked in front of a man she had barely known four days. That was the part Rose
relished the best, knowing she was rebelling against everything she was ever
taught.
With a deep breath, Rose almost
had to push herself out the door. But she was ready.
Jack had positioned the divan to
face him and had settled himself on a chair. He had removed his jacket,
waistcoat, and bowtie and relieved himself of the shirt collar digging into his
throat by unbuttoning his shirt almost halfway. He was never one for dressing
over the top, but this society required him to.
Rose approached the door and as
she placed her hands on the doorknob, she saw that her hands were visibly
shaking.
With a deep breath, she turned
the knob. Jack was sharpening his charcoal with a small knife when he heard
Rose’s door open. She emerged, wearing nothing but a sensual black kimono and,
of course, the necklace at her throat. Slowly, Rose began to approach the
divan, which Jack had arranged for her to pose on.
Rose wondered for a moment what
Jack must think of her. His face seemed expressionless. She wondered if he
sensed her nervousness. She took a few steps closer to Jack before slowly
reaching her delicate, shaking hands up to part her kimono.
The garment fell to the floor
with a whisper. Self-consciously, Rose brought her hands up around her stomach.
It took every bit of strength in her to keep herself from quickly covering
herself. Jack was in awe of the beautiful woman who stood nude before him. The
experience was more challenging than he imagined. The looks which transpired
between Jack and Rose gave each other the confidence to continue.
"Over on the bed…the
couch," Jack stuttered. Rose immediately felt more at ease, knowing that
he, too, was nervous. Jack allowed the artist in him to take over. Rose lay
herself on the divan and positioned herself as Jack instructed her to. She
trusted him completely.
With one arm on the cushion above
her head and the other by her face, Jack began his masterpiece. Rose could feel
Jack’s eyes running over her naked body. While she felt so nervous and exposed,
at the same time she felt so alive at this new experience. She had never stood
nude before anyone before, let alone a man. But Jack was different.
As his eyes ran over her body,
Jack could feel himself blushing as he sketched her most intimate parts.
"I see you are blushing,
Monsieur Big Artiste."
Jack laughed a little as he began
to smudge the lines he had created. Jack’s hair fell into his amazingly blue
eyes as he gazed over his sketchbook. At that moment, Rose felt her stomach
flutter. It was as if he could see right through her.
She giggled a little, distracting
Jack.
"You’re laughing."
"Sorry."
"Just relax your face. No
laughing."
Rose took a deep breath as Jack
continued to sketch her. She was at ease now, knowing that Jack was all right
with the situation. She knew she had been a little forward, but it was what she
wanted. When he drew, Jack’s face was deadly serious. Rose thought of how
engrossed he seemed and she admired him tremendously. She admired him and his
work. He was incredibly talented. Minutes later, the drawing was complete.
"All right. I’m done."
Jack broke the silence. Quickly, Rose retrieved her kimono.
"May I see it?" Rose
asked. She felt as though she needed permission to.
"Of course."
Steadily, Rose came up behind
Jack and gazed over his shoulder. The drawing took her breath away. The woman
on the paper was so beautiful it was difficult to comprehend it was actually
herself.
"Date it, Jack. I want to
always remember this night."
Jack scrawled the words JD,
April 14th 1912 at the bottom of the paper before taking a moment to admire
his art. He was impressed by it. She really was an amazing woman. He closed the
portfolio and handed it to Rose.
"Thank you."
Standing, Jack took Rose in his
arms and she kissed him a little hesitantly, not quite sure of what to do. She
was a little uncomfortable knowing she had just been nude before him, and now
here he was, kissing her.
"Thank you, Jack. It’s
beautiful." Rose smiled and pulled away a little.
"So are you, Rose…"
Rose blushed a little, but her
eyes never left his. It was like he held her beneath some sort of spell and it
was hard to break free. How had she come across a man as gentle and kind as
Jack? What had she done to deserve him? He was everything a man could ever be
and more. Rose was sure at that moment that she had fallen in love with him. A
love which could only grow stronger in time, if he felt the same, obviously.
Rose remembered her words from earlier in the day when they had been up on
deck, watching the sunset. She had told him her dreams and she wished he could
be part of her life, so now she was going to begin to put her dreams in motion
and nothing could stop anything which would happen tonight. Neither of them
could.
"I was so nervous, Rose. I
thought I wasn’t going to be able to concentrate."
"I was scared, too. My heart
pounded…"
"My heart is still pounding.
Knowing you’re in my arms like this…I don’t ever want this to end, Rose. I
don’t want this night to end…"
Leaning forward, Jack gingerly
touched her face and then kissed Rose’s forehead tenderly. He kissed her
eyelids and her nose before kissing her lips softly. His hands moved to the
small of her back and he caressed her gently.
He could feel feelings stirring
inside him which he had never felt before. He was overwhelmed by his feelings
for this woman who was in his arms.
He knew he loved her. He had
probably known since that first day up on deck.
Slowly, Rose’s unsteady hands
reached up to Jack’s shirt buttons, and hesitantly, she undid them one by one
before finally exposing Jack’s bare chest. He was well built for a man of his
age. She ran her shaking hands over his stomach and chest. For a moment, Jack
pulled away, a little breathless, wondering if this was what Rose really
wanted.
"Are you sure?" he
asked, his voice shaking.
Slowly, Rose nodded and pulled
Jack closer once again to kiss him. Gingerly, he ran his artist’s hands up to
her shoulders and gently slid the kimono from her body as, for the second time
that evening, it landed on the floor with a whisper.
She pressed her bare chest upon
his and kissed him once more before taking his hand and leading him into her
bedroom.
Both hearts were beating wildly
as they continued their kiss inside Rose’s bedroom. Clothes were spread out on
the floor as they lay nude in each other’s arms.
"Rose…if we do this, then I
can never go back. This has to be it." He knew that if they made love here
and now, he could never just walk away from her again and never see her. If
they did this, then he wanted her to be his.
"No, Jack. There’s no going
back now."
This was all Jack needed to know.
He knew that now, after all of the hurt and hesitance leading up to this moment
in time, they were together and no one, especially Caledon Hockley, could
change that.
"Are you nervous?" Jack
asked. His voice was husky.
"No."
And with that, all barriers which
had ever stopped them being each other’s were broken down. This was it for them
now. No going back.
*****
Rose lay her head on Jack’s chest
as he gently stroked her copper ringlets. She could hear his heartbeat as it
pounded.
A sense of emotion overcame her
and she could feel an urge to burst into tears of happiness. Nothing in the
world could have prepared her for the intimacy she and Jack had shared. Nothing
had prepared her for the experience which making love for the first time would
be. She had given herself completely to this man, who she had known barely four
days, and yet who she seemed to know so well.
"Are you all right?"
"Yes. I think so, Jack. I
think so."
Concerned, Jack shifted onto his
side and pulled Rose with him.
"You think so? I didn’t hurt
you, did I?"
"No. Of course not. It’s
just us. Me and you. We’ve known each other for a matter of days."
"Rose, does that matter?
There is no time limit when it comes to love…"
"Love?" Rose asked,
blinking back tears.
"Yes, Rose. I think I’ve
fallen utterly and completely in love with you…"
For a moment, Jack wondered if he
should have confessed such things after the intensity of their lovemaking, but
it felt right. This felt right. He loved her and no longer wanted to hide it
from her or the world. What would his friends think when he told them he had
fallen in love with this wonderful girl?
"Jack…I don’t know what to
say…"
"Don’t say anything, Rose.
Don’t say anything…"
With that, Jack pulled her closer
to him and kissed her passionately once again. She ran her hands up his back
and he shuddered a little.
"Jack…when the ship docks,
I’m getting off with you."
Jack’s eyes widened with shock.
He hadn’t expected this. "What?"
"I am. We said no going
back, and there isn’t. Jack, you taught me how to live. You showed me what it’s
like to be free, and that’s what I want."
"Rose…your mother…Cal…"
"I don’t care. This is my
life. I’m fed up with being treated like a porcelain doll. I’m going to live,
Jack. I am seventeen years old and I have the right to do what I choose. My
life starts here. I’m yours, Jack…if you want me, that is?"
A rush of love overcame Jack and
he gently wiped the tears from Rose’s eyes.
"I do, Rose. I do. I want us
to share our life together. I promise harm will never come to you, ever."
They shared another long kiss
before feeling something shudder, something like a bump. Moments later, the
engines seemed to have stopped. Pulling away from Rose, Jack frowned a little,
wondering what was happening.
"Did you feel a shudder?"
"Yes. What was it?"
Jack jumped up, pulled on his
pants, and found his shirt. Outside, he seemed to hear a slight commotion.
Running his hands through his hair, he attempted to neaten it a little.
"Don’t worry, Rose. I’ll be
right back. Just checking what all of the commotion is about."
Rose nodded and felt her stomach
churn a little. She was worried about what was happening. She pulled the sheets
away from her and strolled to her wardrobe room to find something to wear.
Minutes later, Jack appeared in
the doorway. He seemed out of breath, his cheeks red.
"Rose, there’s something you
should know…"
"What is it?"
"We’ve struck an
iceberg."