A SIMPLE KIND OF LIFE
Chapter Eight
Disoriented, Rose opened her eyes
and squinted heavily, wondering where she was. She was surrounded by ocean and
what seemed to be icebergs. The sky was orange with hints of blue and other
clues of dawn breaking.
Rose remembered their words from
the night before as they had watched the sunset.
"What a beautiful
sunset." Jack beamed as he led Rose to the railing.
"It is. I wish I could
witness every sunset and sunrise."
"You will. I’ll make sure
of it."
Rose laughed. "How will
you?"
"I don’t know. We’ll awake
early in the wee hours, watch the sunrise, and bring us into a wonderful new
day."
This wasn’t how she had wanted to
witness anything. She felt physically and mentally drained. When she opened her
mouth to speak, nothing came out. She was cold and slightly damp. Her hair was
matted and knotted, her eyes were puffy, and her face was deathly pale. Sitting
up a little more, Rose adjusted her eyes to see a ship with the word Carpathia
written across the side. It was a lot smaller than the Titanic and people on
the ship were looking over the railing down at her. She wondered why. An
officer on board the Carpathia lowered a rope ladder down the side of the ship
and passengers of the lifeboats were allowed to climb up if strong enough.
Several other lifeboats rowed
slowly towards the Carpathia, the passengers just happy to be rescued.
"Rose…there’s help
here." Rose heard Jack’s voice beside her and looked to see him lying
there, his hand holding hers. His face was deathly pale and his voice weak.
Rose smiled the best she could,
trying to soothe Jack.
"I’m so cold." He
croaked a little. Rose gently stroked his face and felt a single tear roll from
her eye, memories still fresh from just hours before as the Titanic had sunk.
That night would live with her for the rest of her life.
"I know, Jack. But help is
here."
Jack nodded. His body felt as
though it couldn’t move. He longed for warmth. His fingers wouldn’t bend and
his body was stiff. It felt like iron and was difficult and painful to move.
After boarding the Carpathia,
Jack and Rose were given plenty of warm blankets and were sent to the ship’s
infirmary to be checked for signs of hypothermia by the ship’s doctor. Just the
feeling of being warm was a luxury for both Jack and Rose.
The doctor examined Rose. She was
fine, except for a cold. Jack, however, was diagnosed with mild hypothermia.
His hands had been exposed to the cold for a long time, and for now he was
unable to move his hands or fingers.
He was asked to remain in the
ship’s infirmary for just one night so an eye could kept on him.
Outside, survivors cried out in
pain as they grieved their lost loved ones. Rose stumbled past widows and
fatherless children. Just the sight of these people was enough to make Rose
break down in floods of tears. She wouldn’t allow Jack to see her like this.
Taking a seat up on deck, Rose simply placed her face in her hands and sobbed.
How could this have happened? All
of those innocent people dying for no reason. How come the lifeboats were
launched half full? Why didn’t the ship avoid the collision? Why had God done
this? So many unanswered questions. Would there ever be an absolution? Rose’s
next moves were uncertain, too. As soon as the ship docked, there would be a
media frenzy. People would instantly recognize her. Jack had shown her how to
live, how she could live if she was to be with him. But now he was lying in the
infirmary with hypothermia. He hadn’t stopped shivering for hours and was
almost unable to speak, just like so many others.
Tears spilled from her eyes at
the heart-wrenching pain she felt, like no other she had experienced. A small
child wandered past Rose’s vision with a small china doll in her hand. Almost
hesitantly, the small child approached Rose and stood gazing at her with large
brown eyes. Rose dried her eyes and smiled at the little girl. She was a
beautiful girl, obviously steerage, but did social class really matter anymore?
"Hello. I’m Cora," the
little girl said shyly. "Please don’t cry," she begged quietly.
Rose was stunned. This little
girl couldn’t be more than six years old. She smiled at the girl and took her
tiny hand.
"I’m sorry. It’s just that
some things are hard," Rose tried to explain without scaring the young
girl.
"I know. My father went to
heaven last night." Cora’s head bowed down and she brought her small china
doll closer to her body, as if seeking comfort in it.
"Oh, no." Rose could
feel her eyes welling up once again. This poor child, too, was fatherless.
"But he’s with the angels
now, my mommy says. He’s looking down right now to see when my little brother
and I are in trouble." Cora pointed to the gray sky and smiled. She
obviously didn’t understand half of what had happened and it was good that she
didn’t.
"Yes, Cora. Your father will
be looking down on you, watching his sweet little girl."
Cora giggled and then heard her
mother call her name.
"Bye, and remember not to
cry." Cora skipped away to her mother’s side. The mother was around
twenty-five and had another child with her, who Rose took to be Cora’s younger
brother. He was no more than three and rested his head sweetly on his mother’s,
obviously unaware of the disaster which had occurred.
Rose returned to Jack in the
infirmary, feeling a sense of refreshment. The young girl, Cora, had made her
realize that life would go on. The small child had lost her father. Rose
spotted Jack as he sat up in a bed, attempting to feed himself some soup. His
fingers were numb and he could barely bend his joints. He was like a
ninety-year-old man with arthritis. Rose came to Jack’s side and gently stroked
the hand which had remained by his side. He was cold. Just the simple task of
picking up a spoon had proven to not be so simple. After several attempts, Jack
gave up and threw the spoon into the bowl. He felt such a fool. He couldn’t
even pick up a spoon.
"Look at me, Rose. I can’t
even use a spoon. I’m useless," Jack complained. He wasn’t used to this.
"Jack, don’t worry. You’ll
be able to move soon, and you’re most certainly not useless." Jack saw
Rose’s face. She did everything to attempt to raise his spirits a little. She
didn’t deserve to be snapped at just because of his own frustration.
"I’m sorry, Rose."
"I know how frustrating it
is, but be thankful."
"I am, Rose. God knows how
much. I am thankful for my life and for you." Rose smiled and gently
kissed his hand. She picked up the spoon and stirred the soup before raising
the spoon to his lips. Smiling, he allowed her to feed him.
"Jack, while you slept last
night, I prayed. I prayed for you and for us. I prayed for all the people lost,
for the wounded to be healed. I watched you as you slept, Jack. This morning I
awoke next to a man, something I have never done before. I wasn’t even scared,
just overwhelmed."
"Just to know you’re here
with me and safe means everything to me, Rose." Gently, Rose stroked
Jack’s hair away from his face. He was still pale, but his boyish features
remained. His amazing blue eyes still sparkled. She loved him. She knew that
now. She wanted to share her life with him.
"This is what I want, Jack."
"What?" He frowned.
"Just…a simple kind of life.
No complications, no rules, to be free. I know it’s impossible, Jack. But it’s
what I want."
"It’s possible, Rose. We’ll
go anywhere you want. Santa Monica? We’ll do what we spoke of. You don’t need
money to be happy, Rose. I’d give it all up for you…I’d give Boston up."
"No, Jack. Not your
home."
Jack grasped Rose’s hand the best
he could. He kissed it gently and closed his eyes for a second, remembering
what had happened just days before--they had declared their love for each other
and of course they had loved each other. For the first time in Jack’s life,
he’d felt that closeness to a woman and he never wanted that evening with Rose
to end. But then events altered circumstances.
"Rose, I’d have died for you
when that ship sank. Four days it took for me to fall in love with you."
"I know. It seems so sudden,
yet so long ago."
Rose began to reminisce about the
past week. Just one week ago she had been in London, alone in a hotel room,
frightened to her wits’ end of what her next move would be, full of fear after
Cal’s evil attack.
"Rose, what about Cal?"
Jack hesitated. This wasn’t something either of them wished to speak about, but
they knew they had to. "What about your mother?"
Rose bowed her head, remembering
her mother’s words to her in the telegram.
Rose, how can you be so
foolish as to abandon Mr. Hockley? You are his wife in practice. You should
honor him, young lady. Do not return without the presence of Mr. Hockley.
Ruth DeWitt Bukater
"She doesn’t want me, Jack,
just the money and the luxury. Maybe it was all she ever wanted." She was
used to abandonment. Her father had died. So had her beloved grandmother. Her
mother was never a good one. "As far as my mother is concerned, her
daughter died on the Titanic. As for Cal, I can only hope he never finds
me."
"Oh, he won’t, Rose. For I
know places in the world he wouldn’t dream of searching. It’s just us now,
Rose. Is that what you want?"
Rose took his hand. "It’s
all I’ll ever want, Jack. Just your love."
Gently touching her cheek, Jack
grazed her lips with his. "You have it, Rose. Endlessly forever."
A single tear rolled down Rose’s
cheek. She felt tired, hungry, and cold, but most of all, she felt love, an
overwhelming sense of love. At that moment, she realized she had not yet
announced her love to him. She did love him. Of course she did. Once again,
Jack kissed her cheek softly before leaning his forehead against hers. She
closed her eyes and more tears came.
"God, I love you,
Jack," she whispered, almost inaudibly. Jack thought he was hearing things
until he realized that she had actually just said those words to him. She loved
him just as he loved her. A smile crept across his face and he stroked Rose’s
hair.
That night, Rose fell asleep once
again by Jack’s side. By the next morning, most feeling had returned to Jack’s
hands. Although he still ached in places he thought didn’t exist, he felt well,
considering what he and Rose had been through in the last few days. Jack left the
infirmary at dinnertime and for the first time in two days he felt the fresh
air. News was circling onboard that the ship would be docking the next day,
which was something he was glad to hear. He couldn’t wait to get Rose to
safety. He couldn’t wait for them to begin their lives together.
By sunset, Rose and Jack had
taken a stroll on deck. They had remembered their promise to witness every
sunset together. The deck was almost empty except for a Swedish man and his
wife and the little girl named Cora, who Rose had met the day before. She
played endlessly with a precious china doll. She was a precious little girl.
Rose was transfixed by her.
"You see that little girl,
Jack?" Rose nodded in the direction of the small girl, who was playing a
game with her little brother, who was obviously not amused.
Jack turned and smiled as soon as
he saw the girl. "Yes."
"Well, yesterday, I was out
here on deck while you slept. I was…crying a lot. She approached me and ordered
me to stop. She also told me her father was in heaven."
Jack’s face fell. No. Not the
poor girl’s father. How many more innocent people were lost in the disaster? No
one knew exactly. No one even knew if many of their family members had survived
yet.
"Yes. Her father died, Jack.
Yet she is such a happy child…look at the sweet thing."
They looked in her direction.
They were mesmerized by the child’s enthusiasm. "I do hope Madeleine is
all right. I haven’t seen her on board…or JJ." Rose frowned. She felt her
heart sink, praying to God nothing had happened to either of them.
Jack, too, was worried a little
for his friends Helga, Tommy, and Fabrizio.
"Maybe we should check the
survivors’ list, Rose. Just to be sure," Jack suggested.
"I don’t know, Jack. I don’t
want to face reality that one of my best friends may have lost her husband or
even her baby."
Jack nodded. "I know. But we
have to face reality sometime, Rose."
Rose sighed a little and allowed
Jack to lead her indoors, where he had asked to check the survivors’ list. He
was led into second class, where a man with a clipboard was busy taking names.
"Excuse me, sir." Jack
interrupted the man chatting to a lady with a small, crying child. "I’m
sorry, but could you please give me some information about my friends?"
The man nodded and pulled away
from the woman. "Of course. What name are you looking for, sir?"
"Fabrizio di Rossi, or Mrs.
Helga di Rossi?"
The man looked through three
sheets of lists before shaking his head slowly, sorrow in his eyes. Jack shook
his head mournfully. "How about Tommy Ryan?"
Again the man shook his head.
"I’m sorry, sir, although they could be on another ship." The man
attempted to give Jack hope, but it was no use at all.
"Madeleine Astor?" Rose
piped in hopefully.
The man scanned his papers and
nodded his head. "Yes. Mrs. Astor is resting in the parlor suite. She
wishes to not be disturbed. Her husband, John Jacob Astor, is not listed here,
ma’am."
"No. JJ can’t be gone. He
can’t leave Maddie." Rose felt hot tears run from her eyes. Jack pulled on
her hand and led her away from the sight of young women nursing their newly
fatherless children. "She can’t have this baby alone. JJ was nothing but a
good husband. How could he leave her?" Rose cried. The cruel reality of
what had happened sinking in slowly.