A LADY NAMED ROSE
Chapter Twenty-One

Rose couldn't meet Teddy's eyes. She looked around in desperation for something else to focus on--anything. Meg and Gabriel were too far away. Her eyes settled on the lake, then jerked away. Too hard to look at water. She finally looked down, at her hand in the grass.

"Rose," he was saying, "I know it's only been a year since we met, but if two people love each other, then it don't matter."

But I don't love you, Rose wanted to scream.

"I don't know what you're used to...where you're from, but I can make us a good home."

In the slums, Rose thought miserably.

Teddy gently lifted her hand, the one at which she'd been staring to avoid looking at him, and held it in both of his own. "Rose, you're beautiful, and smart, and sweet, and..."

"...and you're the most amazingly astounding girl I've ever known." Jack's words, spoken in the Titanic's gymnasium, hit her with staggering clarity. She shut her eyes to hold back the tears. It should be Jack here holding her hand and proposing marriage. This was so unfair.

"...you make me laugh," Teddy continued. He was beginning to sound a little unsure of himself. "And you won't 'ave to work after the first baby," he added quickly.

Now he was talking about babies. Rose finally forced herself to look at him. He smiled hopefully, a nineteen-year-old boy with freckles and hair the shade of a carrot. At the very least she could be thankful he wasn't anything like Cal. She tried to smile back.

"Teddy, please don't be offended, but I feel as though I hardly know you."

"What more do ya need to know?" He was eager, too eager. Like a puppy.

"Well...just about everything. Your likes and dislikes, what your plans are for the future. Everything."

Teddy's face was a blank. "Y-you need me to tell ya all that now?"

"No, just...before we talk about marriage." As soon as the words left her mouth, Rose regretted them. She'd tried so hard not to be harsh, yet Teddy was still hurt.

"You mean you don't wanna get married?"

"Well, eh--" Yes! she wanted to shout. Just not now. Not to you.

Teddy nodded, comprehension dawning at last. "I understand. You wanna wait till we 'ave a little money saved. It's all right." He patted her hand. "I can wait as long as it takes."

There was a rustling in the grass, a throat clearing loudly. "Maybe we should come back later," Meg chirped.

"No," Rose said. The word came out faster than she intended. "If it's all right with everyone, I would like to get started back. I did promise Angelica that I would visit her before I go home."

The others were disappointed, but they understood. Meg and Gabriel were lost in their own world, anyway. Rose, watching them, was once again struck by feelings of jealousy and bitterness at all she had lost.

*****

"He asked you to marry him?" Angelica squealed. She was barely able to contain her excitement.

"Yes, but--"

"I am so happy for you!" Rose's roommate squeezed her tight. "What's the date?"

"The date?"

"Yes, silly, when is the wedding?"

"There's no date, there's no wed--" Rose protested, but Angelica cut her off.

"Of course, you haven't set a date yet. How foolish of me!" she said, and, jumping up from her four-poster bed, she began to pace the room. "You'll have to decide where to have the ceremony and reception first."

"Angelica--"

Her roommate spun around, her eyes sparkling with sudden inspiration. "Maybe the Scotts will let you get married at their estate!"

Rose stood and walked over to her friend, grasping her firmly by the shoulders. "Angelica, listen to me. I am not--repeat--not getting married."

Angelica's face fell. "Oh." She sank back down onto the plush coverlet on the bed. "I thought I was going to get to be maid of honor."

"If you're waiting for me to get married, you may well be a bride first," Rose replied, smiling at her weak attempt at a joke.

"Is that why Teddy looked so...miserable when he brought you over? Because you broke his heart?"

Teddy had been rather quiet on the way to the Geisels' Greenwich Village building, only pausing at the door long enough to be introduced to the family and to remind Rose that he would be returning for her in two hours. Although she could have asked Angelica's father for a ride to Grand Central Terminal--and would have preferred to do so--Teddy insisted.

"I didn't break Teddy's heart," Rose said defensively. "I just told him that I'm not ready to get married."

"Well, what is it that you're waiting for, dearie? I admit I've only met Teddy once, but he seems perfectly nice."

"You just met him half an hour ago. And he is nice. He's insufferably nice. He is thoughtful, and considerate, and he is suffocating me!"

Angelica gaped at her. Rose, too, was surprised at her vehement outburst, not sure where it came from. Before she could offer a sufficient explanation, there was a loud knock at the door and Angelica's 14-year-old brother, Hans, barged in without the benefit of an invitation.

"Supper's ready," he announced. "Hurry up."

Angelica made a face at him. "We'll finish this conversation later," she said to Rose.

Sunday dinner at the Geisel house was a rambunctious affair--complete with a colorful roster of guests from their off-Broadway theater company and popular music playing on the Victrola. The family lived in a three-story brownstone, which they had converted into a boarding house of sorts, with their living quarters on the ground floor and rooms for other members of the troupe upstairs. Rose was seated next to a woman of enormous girth, who chose to flaunt her size in a tight red beaded gown with a low-cut bodice. The scent of her perfume was overpowering.

"Have I seen you in anything, sweetie?" she asked Rose.

"I beg your pardon?"

"What performances have you done?" the actress asked impatiently.

"None."

"Pity. You have the look, you know."

Rose started to inquire what "the look" was, but a nudge from Angelica, seated on her left, caught her attention.

"Look," Angelica whispered, giggling, "they're at it again."

She nodded at two young actors from the troupe, not much more than boys, who were seated unusually close to each other. One had one hand under the table while casually sipping coffee with the other. The other actor, red-faced, pretended to be just eating, but would stop after every mouthful, close his eyes, and exhale as if he were enjoying the most savory meal of his life.

"I can't believe they're doing that at the table, in front of people," Angelica whispered, behaving as though she was scandalized; however Rose could tell she'd seen the likes of whatever it was before and had gotten used to it.

"Doing what?" she ventured.

"Why don't you look under the table and find out? Go on, I dare you!"

Rose caught Hans's eye across the table at that moment. He was smirking at her, and she knew she didn't want to take Angelica up on her dare. She'd just have to ask her about it later.

"I wonder where Sebastian is tonight?" Angelica was saying. She'd moved on to another subject easily, as if the two actors no longer interested her. "He said he'd be here."

"Daddy," she called to her father, who was engaged in a lively conversation with another actor at the head of the table. "Where's Sebastian?"

"Angel, how many times do I tell you, ze man is very busy," Fritz Geisel said, exasperated, and turned back to his discussion.

Angelica pouted. "He can't be too busy to eat."

Rose wondered if the man wasn't just avoiding Angelica. Since the mysterious Sebastian had joined the theater company as Geisel's apprentice a few weeks earlier, he was all Angelica talked about in her sprawling letters to Rose. Rose was looking forward to the fall semester at Vassar, when her friend would find other interests.

All too soon, the evening came to an end. Teddy arrived as the dessert plates were being cleared away, right on schedule. Fortunately, there was no more talk of marriage on the trolley ride to Grand Central. The day had exhausted Rose and she dozed on the train until another passenger awakened her at the Tarrytown station.

Chapter Twenty-Two
Stories