THE HEART NEVER LIES
Chapter Four
Swaying, my body gently rocking,
I was floating.
"Hey, you! Hey!" a
rough voice called. My reluctant eyes flickered, seeing nothing but bright
lights.
"What?" I murmured.
"Bloody hell! She’s alive! I
thought she was a goner. Hauled her out of the water and she was so
still..." a man’s voice exclaimed and faded away.
*****
"Come on, dear." A soft
female voice floated above me. A wet cloth soothed my burning head. "Wake
up. You’re safe."
My eyes flew open. I saw a nurse
standing over me. Panic grabbed me and I sat bolt upright. The room spun. I was
dreaming, dreaming, and fell into darkness.
When I opened my eyes again, the
nurse was still by the bed. Her face was not swimming too much. She had a smile
and rosy cheeks. I was lying in bed in a small hospital room, tucked in with
warm blankets.
Was she an angel? Sent to me by
Jack? Oh, I was so cold, even under the warm bedding, my limbs heavy and still.
Was Jack still as cold as me?
Jack! My heart leapt. My eyes
dilated.
The cold water, his hands in
mine, his eyes shining with love for me, then closing as the iciness drained
his spirit. Images stacking up in my head. Jack kissing me, our plans,
everything came flooding back. I sat up, my throat constricted and sore.
"Jack?" I questioned.
"Where is Jack?" I squeaked, my voice tiny and cracking. I couldn’t
swallow; my head was thumping.
The nurse frowned.
"Jack?" she echoed. "Look, love, I am so sorry. You were the
last one picked up by the boat. You are a lucky girl. You could have died of
hypothermia." She hesitated and said, very softly, "I am sorry. I
guess this Jack didn’t make it." She stroked my head with the flannel
sympathetically.
My vision blurred. Hot, scorching
tears welled up. A hot flush rose through my body, my poor confused mind
rebelling at her words. I lashed out, knocking her hand aside. She gasped and
jumped back.
"Jack! Jack! Where are
you?" I shouted, my cries high and hysterical. I heard guttural screaming,
like an animal in pain.
I faintly heard the nurse’s firm
commands. "Sedate her! She’s lost control!"
It was only the needle going into
my arm that stopped the hysteria that had possessed me.
Jack! He can’t be dead! It’s a
lie! my battered brain
shouted before the blackness returned.
*****
Hours later, I awoke. I couldn’t
speak, and confusion fogged my brain. Jack was gone. I was hot, then cold. I
was running a fever, my bruised body tender and burning, my heart cold and
heavy, grief resting on it like a slab.
In my brief conscious moments,
the nurse whispered that I was on the Carpathia, that I had been dragged from
the sea by the only boat to come back. They’d seen me tumble from the door into
the water and the splash had alerted them. Only I was rescued.
Where was he? It hurt to think.
He’d been holding my hands and telling me not to let go. I fought to gain
understanding, to order my senses.
I want to be with you. Let me
die with you. You jump, I jump. I’ll follow you to the gates of hell. I can’t
go on, not without you.
My heart was broken; I was too
gutted to cry. I only whispered my name, Rose, to the nurse when she asked.
Rose DeWitt Bukater had died on the ship! I was that spoiled, snobby girl no
longer.
The nurse wanted to sedate me and
told me just before doing so, in soothing tones, that we were heading to New
York and would dock in a couple of days.
"Jack, I am coming with you
when we dock." I heard my resolute voice, our excitement, the depths of
our kisses, his strong arms around me. Rose and Jack forever.
"You’ll find your family,
maybe, dear, at the harbor to care for you?" the nurse surmised, and
slipped the needle into my vein. I felt myself going under.
Tears stung my eyes. No family,
only Jack, and he was gone. I wanted to die with him.
How could I go on?