THE HEART NEVER LIES
Chapter Nine
Ruth
I sat down in a chair by Rose’s
bedside and watched as she slept. It had been six weeks since we had come here,
to Nathan Hockley’s house, father of Caledon. Mr. Hockley, Sr. was traveling,
but gave full consent to us keeping Rose safe until the marriage. But did we
have Rose’s consent?
My late husband, Daniel, was so
much like Rose, the same willfulness and vitality. It was what had attracted me
to him as a young bride and what I abhorred in him later and divided us in
every way. He did not conform and followed his instincts and desires. Oh, so
embarrassing…people talking about his shoddy affairs behind my back, laughing
at me, meek little Ruth.
I was not brought up to lie and
cheat. I was groomed from a young age to belong, to be polite and courteous. He
was a shock to my system. Imagine my dismay when my only daughter turned out to
have the same spirit. They were so close and adored each other, with me always
on the outside, distant. She couldn’t end up being like Daniel.
He had brought us to our knees,
gambling away the Bukater fortune. The only thing left was our good name, and
Rose carried it. She had to marry well and save our family.
I groaned as I thought of her
association with the guttersnipe on the Titanic, teaching her to spit,
disrespecting Cal, and running wild. He was so low class and had nearly cost us
our chance to be ingratiated with the Hockleys–where we belonged.
Wonderful Caledon had found me on
the Carpathia in first class, promising to take care of me and bring back Rose.
Oh, how grateful I was to dear
Caledon, taking on Rose despite her faux pas with the Dawson boy. It was sad
that he died, but what good news for us. Caledon still wanted to marry her. I
knew how highly he thought of her.
I looked at her, lying there
peacefully. She had not been out of this room save to go into the adjoining
bathroom. The rebelliousness she had brought with her off the Titanic was gone,
and now she was subservient and demure again, speaking to Caledon respectfully
and obeying him.
That awful nurse had been paid
off and had gone last week. I was a bit concerned with Rose’s weight loss and
the dark circles under her eyes. She had nearly died, so it was understandable.
She was so lucky. Caledon had
bought her a wonderful trousseau and jewels and had replaced my losses from the
ship. I was reassured. We had a wonderful engagement party planned for the week
after, and Rose would be launched into Philadelphia society as Caledon’s
fiancée. She had made a brilliant match. I would have been ecstatic if Daniel
had been as suitable as Caledon.
Rose
My mother brought my breakfast on
a tray to me when I awoke from my fitful sleep, thinking of Jack, the sinking
of the ship, and me screaming for him.
My mother smiled from ear to ear.
She was content with me back in my gilded prison. My emotions did not matter as
long as I conformed. I had the horrible nurse breathing down my neck and I
tried to escape by sleeping.
My mother. Cal had bought her off
by replacing all her lovely clothes, and mine, too, but the rich, beautiful new
dresses and furs sickened me. Oh, how I had forced myself to be Cal’s puppet
these long weeks. I did not speak to him unless it was to answer yes or no. He
was pleased with my submissiveness.
I was so weary. Losing Jack had
stripped me down to my last defenses and I couldn’t fight anymore.
But inside, my mind was yelling,
constantly planning ways out of this living nightmare. I could not marry Cal.
If he touched me, it would be like snakes slithering across my skin. It would
be alien, and I knew instinctively that he would take what he wanted no matter
what!
My frosty-hearted mother would
never understand.
"Rose, sweetie, you must get
up and get dressed after you have eaten. The dressmaker needs to measure you
for your engagement gown," she cooed.
She set the tray down and
gracefully exited, smiling as she went.
I sighed and reached for a piece
of toast, but as I went to bite it, the smell suddenly nauseated me. I ran to
the adjoining bathroom and vomited.
I lay on the hard, cold floor,
feeling hot and cold. A fearful realization washed over me.
"Oh, my God," I hissed.
This was the fourth time I had vomited in the last few weeks. I had been sleepy
and my breasts were tender. I was pregnant, and with Jack’s child!
He’d kissed me in the car. Our
love had spilled over, and we had celebrated that love in the car in the cargo
hold of the Titanic. We had not been careful, caught up in the heat of our
passion! "Take me to the stars, Jack!" I had cried, and he had, in
every way.
And it had resulted in Jack’s
child, a part of him always. Oh, no! My engagement to Cal! What would happen to
me and the child once he discovered its existence?