Written by Verity Thompson
Based on some situations originated by James Cameron.

June 17, 1912

Dear Diary,

Today my wildest dreams came true. It was confirmed by Dr. Henry that I am indeed with child. Jack’s child. A part of him that I will have to cherish forever. Just the thought of his child being inside of me growing at this very minute has brought tears to my eyes. While I am so very happy at this news, just the thought of not having Jack around at this time in my life has given me the most heart-wrenching pain I have felt since that night I lost the love of my life. The thought of raising a baby by myself is frightening me to my very soul. I am a young woman, barely seventeen years of age and with child. Townspeople will frown upon me, think of me as some sort of whore. I have so many mixed emotions. I am unsure of whether to smile or cry until my heart breaks. I wish for nothing other than for Jack to be here at this moment in time, even if just for a minute, to share his thoughts of me carrying his child. He would have been so happy, an excellent father. Loving, caring, and generous, just like the man he was.

I still see his face smiling at me when I cry or hear his voice soothing me. Ever since that fateful night, I have wished for nothing more than my life to end so I can see my love once more and live eternally in peace. But now I have a reason to live, to carry on fighting this long battle. For I have life within me, a life created by the most amazing thing on earth, the love that a man and a woman share.

My dream to be a moving picture actress must now be put on hold. Jack gave me so many new hopes and dreams that we would have shared together. He gave me faith in myself to follow my dreams. I plan to visit the Santa Monica pier one day. I will tell my unborn child tales of its father and our dreams. I will ride a horse on the beach. I will visit the Santa Monica pier and ride on the roller coaster until my stomach churns.

I plan to continue my job as a waitress at Stacey’s Sandwiches until I am far into my pregnancy. I need the money and work experience, although I will not exhaust myself, and hopefully my good health will continue throughout my pregnancy so I will bear a healthy baby.

Rose Dawson

Placing the fountain pen back in the ink pot, Rose Dawson sighed heavily and placed her shaking hand over her flat stomach. Just the thought of having a child inside her made feel more confident than ever. Can I do this? was the question she repeated over and over to herself. She had to. She knew that. In seven months, she was due to give birth to her child.

Seven months. Not very long until she was due to give birth, but looking back, seven months ago felt like an eternity. Seven months before, it was November, 1911. She had turned seventeen that month. Her life had been planned for her. Her birthday party was planned. She was due to attend several polo matches and then receive a Christmas marriage proposal from her then beau Caledon Hockley. The wedding day had been set and the wedding was planned around her by her mother and her socialite friends. Everything from the color of her dress to the flowers and food was already planned. Rose had felt trapped and scared. Would she ever be happy? Was this what all girls her age went through? All of her finishing school friends seemed so happy to be finding a suitable husband and settling down. Rose was envied, and she knew that. At every event she attended, she was stared at and envied. Most girls would have given anything to be marrying into the Hockley family. Caledon was a great catch and he had picked her to be his wife. At first, she had felt flattered and for a short time she thought she had felt some sort of love for him. But after a while, he began to control her, from the dresses she wore to when she was allowed to leave her house. Rose didn’t want to settle down, for she was a seventeen-year-old girl with dreams to dance and paint and travel the world--especially to Paris, the art capital of the world. She longed to visit there and view all of the magical scenery and art for herself. Knowing of her longing to travel Europe, Cal had arranged for himself, Rose, and Ruth to travel as an engagement surprise, and by the time they were to return to the States, Rose knew she had no choice but to become Mrs. Caledon Hockley.

Her trip through Europe had been seen through the windows of hotel rooms and carriages. She longed to visit the museums, the art galleries, to climb the Eiffel Tower and visit the Moulin Rouge, which had been made so famous by the artist Toulouse. His paintings had inspired her to want to taste the French wine, smell the fresh flowers from the countryside, and take in the spectacular scenery. Instead, she had attended galas, polo matches, and dined with millionaires whom she found to be very boring and narrow-minded, the same as the other acquaintances she dined with.

On the trip back home, Caledon bought tickets aboard the Titanic, the biggest moving object ever built by the hand of man, the unsinkable ship, the ship of dreams, the legend. Onboard, her misery had continued. Her life had no color, no spark, and no meaning. She had felt like a possession or a showpiece for Cal and her mother, or a dog which was rewarded with a bone after doing a good trick. Rose, however, was rewarded with another piece of expensive jewelry. This time it was Le Coeur de la Mer, a fifty-six carat diamond necklace shaped into a blue heart. She had to admit it certainly took her breath away when it had been presented to her. It was undeniably beautiful. Still, the necklace had felt like a dog collar around her neck when she wore it. Unknown to anyone else, the necklace was still in her possession. She rarely took the piece out, but when she did she felt mixed emotions. She remembered the drawing Jack drew of her nude in her stateroom. Her stomach still churned when she thought of the nerves she felt when she undid that robe and the first man to ever see her exposed body looked at her in awe. But she also remembered Cal, the evil man that he was, and how she hated him. She had thought of selling it from time to time, but she remembered she could get by without Cal’s help. She had done very well so far. She had settled in downtown New York and had a job at a small sandwich shop as a waitress which paid very well for now, and she had taken up residence in a small boarding house with a very nice couple named Andrew and Betsy Evans. They, too, were expecting their first child.

She would have to work her way up from the bottom. She had dreams of becoming a moving picture actress or of performing in some other way to an applauding audience. Maybe her child would look proudly at its mother. And maybe somewhere, Jack would look on proudly, too.

She always felt him with her, in her heart and in her mind. He lived on with her, helping her to face the next day without him there by her side, but she knew he was watching her from somewhere. She had cried herself to sleep for many nights since the night of April fourteenth. She had nightmares and then shook violently with fear as she saw Jack’s beautiful face disappear beneath the freezing cold waters of the North Atlantic. Without him there, it seemed life once again had no meaning. He had given her life meaning. He had given her life color and spark. He’d made her see things she’d never seen and feel things she’d never felt and would probably never feel again. He’d opened her eyes to the gift that life was and that it shouldn’t be wasted. He had saved her life in more ways then she could have ever imagined. He had given her faith and he had helped create the life that was inside of her now.

*****

Wiping the tears from her eyes, Rose closed her diary, tied a ribbon around it, and put it back beneath her pillow. She stood, brushed her dress of the crumbs of her dinner, proceeded to walk to the wardrobe, and looked wearily at the small selection of coats and dresses she had. It was a far cry from the fine clothes she had once worn. Her stomach, for now, was almost flat, but as soon as her stomach started to grow, she knew she’d have to buy more clothes on a tight budget, as well as buy baby clothes and necessities such as a crib. Tears once again formed in Rose’s green eyes as she threw herself back on the bed and sobbed into her pillow. She had nothing. She could barely keep herself, let alone a child. Suddenly, Jack’s face appeared before her, smiling, nothing more. He seemed to offer his hand to her and as she sat forward and reached out delicately to him, he faded back into Rose’s imagination.

It was then that she realized that she could do this. She could raise Jack’s child. She could be a good mother. She had found the strength from somewhere to remove her head from her pillow and let a feeling of peace and calmness come over her. Her pain seemed to fade and her wounds healed. Her full lips curved into a small smile as she placed her hand over her stomach protectively. This wasn’t the life she had expected for herself. But it was a better path to follow than being in the chains of a society girl and raising her children in misery with a father like Cal.

After saying a short prayer and thanking Jack for his strength and guidance, Rose settled her head down on her pillow and drifted into the calmest, most peaceful sleep she’d had in years.

*****

Jack Charles Dawson was born in the early hours of January 17, 1913. With a full head of blond curls and big blue eyes, he was the mirror image of his father. Rose cradled him until he slept, shedding tears of happiness and sadness. She had a healthy six pound eleven ounce son, but Jack hadn’t been there to witness the miracle. Rose named her son after his father, hoping he would grow into a happy young boy and go on to have the same caring, kind-hearted nature that his father had possessed.

The End.

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