NIGHT TRAIN
Chapter Two
Monday, Thanksgiving Week, 1948
“What car are you looking for ma’am?” asked
the kindly sleeping car porter.
Rose looked up at him, distracted because of
what she had just seen in one of the train windows.
“Oh, yes,” she murmured. “I’m in car 36. Is
this it?”
“Yes, ma’am. No one else’s getting on here,
so just let me take your bag. What space are you occupying?”
She looked down at the shiny green slip of
paper.
“Bedroom D.”
The man took her bag and led the way up the
stairs of the vestibule. Rose followed with her heart pounding. She had hoped
to have a peaceful night’s sleep tonight. But after what she had just seen, her
bad dreams would probably return.
“I’ve made the bed up for you. Shall I put
your case on the chair or the bed?” asked the porter, waiting for her
instructions, as they stood in the doorway of the tiny room.
“On the chair. It’s not that heavy. I can
move it around later. And thank you for making the bed,” she told him politely.
“Can I bring you anything? Diner is closed,
but I could probably get some hot tea or coffee for you.”
“No, thanks very much. What time do they
start serving breakfast?” she asked.
“‘Bout seven A.M. Would you like me to awaken
you?”
“Yes, that would be wonderful. Around 6:30,
if you don’t mind.”
“Goodnight now ma’am. You need anything, you
just push this little button right here,” he said, pointing to the little black
knob on the wall, “and I’ll come. My name is Isaac.”
“Thank you Isaac, you’ve been very kind.”
Rose shut the narrow door and sat down on the
bed. Her heart was still racing. She felt so foolish that even after a happy
marriage and two children, a glimpse of someone who reminded her of Jack could
unsettle her so badly. She had been walking along the side of the car,
approaching the steps when she glanced up for an instant. A man was pulling the
shade down in one of the windows in the center of the car she was approaching.
He had not seen her, but in that one brief second, she had gotten a look at his
face. The shape of the eyes and his mouth were so like Jack’s. The Jack she had
known 36 years ago. Now she was not really sure how he would look. It was so
many years ago and they were so much older. But it didn’t matter anyway. He was
gone, dead that night in 1912. Why was she still haunted by him after all these
years?
“Why?” she asked herself. “Because he was the
only person who really understood me, because he was the person who freed me
from the life I hated so much. Because I loved him and he was my true
soulmate.”
She sat there for a few minutes trying to
compose herself. Rose had planned to rest and relax on this trip out west. Her
son had invited her to come for Thanksgiving. He did not want her to be alone
in that big house in Cedar Rapids. So she had agreed. After all, she had not
seen Richard and his family in almost 15 months, when they had come for the
anniversary and Sam’s funeral.
She and Sam had celebrated their 25th
anniversary in June of 1947. Her two sons and their families had been there. It
had been a glorious summer day and Rose had even put on the dress she had been
married in. Two days later, Sam was dead, the victim of a massive heart attack.
The decorations from their anniversary still adorned the house where they all
had sat in mourning.
Rose had loved Sam and their marriage had
been a happy one. She’d lived a contented life with him and he had given her
two wonderful sons. But she never felt the flames of passion that she had known
in those brief days with Jack. She never told anyone of his existence. The
memories of him lived alone in a special place in her heart.
Sleep would be impossible now. She would see
Jack all night, every time she closed her eyes.
“I have to try and rest,” she told herself.
She opened her suitcase and took out what she
needed for the night and then pushed it under the bed.
“Maybe if I read a little.”
But that did not help. Finally she turned out
the light and pulled the blanket tightly around her. Her bed was right next to
the window. So she raised the shade and propped up her pillows so she could see
out the window.
Town after town passed like a string of
lights, connecting one part of the country to the next. The whistle from the
engine sounded relentlessly as they passed each country grade crossing. Usually
the sounds and the motion of a train trip acted as sedative for Rose. But not
this night.
Tonight the groaning of the wheels, became
the sounds of the twisting metal as the ship slipped from under her. The blower
sending warm air into her room reminded her of the giant smokestacks letting
off steam after they hit the iceberg. She touched the metal wall behind the bed
and she felt instead the cold steel doorway, as she stood looking at Jack
chained to that pipe. Rose closed her eyes and the small room started moving in
around her. These bad dreams about the Titanic had recurred year after year.
Sam had known that her sleep was often disturbed, but he had never known the
cause. And as far as she knew she had never called out a name during the dreams
that were the silent torturer of her mind. No one knew what she had endured.
Only Jack.
She turned over on her side and without
thinking that anyone would be listening she began moaning softly, whispering to
herself. The episode she was having tonight was one the worst she had ever
experienced.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Jack sat up in a cold sweat. He had been
having his usual nightmare about struggling in the freezing water. As he came
awake, he realized that the train had stopped moving and there was silence,
except for a muffled sound of pain that seemed to be coming from the space next
door. Was that the room where the Iowa woman had gotten on? Could he just lie
here and ignore it? Perhaps she was ill and needed help. He listened again and
he thought he was loosing his mind. In a raspy whisper, he thought he heard
someone saying his name over and over. That was impossible. He had to be imaging
things.
“What have I got to loose. I can knock on the
door and at least ask if she needs help. And if the door is open, I can look
and see if she is alright. If there is no problem, I’ll just back away.”
Jack reached for his navy silk robe. It was
one of the few extravagant items that he owned. Jeannie had given it to him
last Christmas, and he figured that he better take it with so that she could
see that he was using it. He didn’t have much use for fancy things. While his
business had been very lucrative, he had lived very frugally, spending money
only on things like nice clothes for Jeannie, her education and two or three
trips a year to California to see her.
He stood up and slipped on the robe. He
slowly opened the door of his bedroom and stood out in the dim hallway,
listening. Yes, the sound was definitely coming from the room next door, marked
Bedroom D.
“What am I doing?” he asked himself.
Maybe this was not a good idea. Perhaps he
should just mind his own business. What if the person inside didn’t want or
need his help. But a voice deep inside him kept saying, “Go to her.”
He took a few steps until he stood directly
in front of the door. Jack knocked quietly on the door. He didn’t intend on
awakening a whole car of travelers.
He knocked softly one more time. There was no
answer. Just the continual moaning and sobbing. He tried the door and it was
unlocked.
“I’ll just go in and ask if she needs help.”
The door opened and in the dim light, he
could see that there was a woman lying on the bed, her back to the door.
Whoever it was huddled close to the window, hugging a pillow tightly. In a soft
voice, she was saying the same thing over and over.
“Jack, I trusted you. Jack, why did you leave
me? Oh God, Jack.”
Surely it was a coincidence that she was
calling his name.
In almost a whisper, he asked, “Ma’am, miss,
I heard you call out. It sounded like you were in pain. Do you need help?”
Her body stiffened and the crying ceased.
“Please just leave me alone. Please. Just go
away,” said a muffled voice.
“Are you sure? I can’t leave without knowing
you’ll be alright. That’s all that I want,” he said, softly.
Suddenly without warning, she started shaking
uncontrollably and the weeping began again. Why did he have to say the same
words that Jack had once said?
Jack approached the bed. His heart went out
to this woman in her sadness. He wanted to take her in his arms and give her
comfort. But he had almost forgotten how. Except to hug Jeannie when she
bounced in and out of the town, he had not touched a woman since Martha. He
stood awkwardly over her, wondering what to do. The train jolted slightly as it
started up again and without really wanting to, he landed on the bed, next to
the woman.
Rose felt the movement of the train and the
stranger settle on her bed. For some reason she was not frightened. And because
he ended up there when the train started to move, she knew it was an accident.
She turned to try and sit up. Who was this man who had come to her aid in the
night?
She reached over and turned on the light next
to her. For a moment neither of them could see in the bright light. Rose pulled
herself up and turned over. Jack started to get up, but she gripped his arm for
support.
“Thank you for coming to see if I was…"
Rose could not finish the sentence. It was
amazing how cruel the memory could be. This must still be part of her dream.
There sitting on the bed inches from her was the man she had seen in the
window. The man who reminded her of Jack.
Jack’s eyes slowly adjusted to the light. It
WAS the woman who had boarded the train in Marion, Iowa. The woman who reminded
him of Rose.
They stared at each other for a few seconds,
speechless. He looked at her delicate skin and luminous eyes. Only a few lines
here and there betrayed her age. Her hair was still coppery red. She was lost
in the depths of his sea blue eyes. His gentle smile looked down at her. She
felt short of breath. Maybe she was dying and she was seeing a vision.
Jack awkwardly raised his hand to touch her
face.
“Rose, it is you,” he said hoarsely.
“Jack, I can’t believe this. It can’t be
happening. It can’t be true,” she cried softly.
After so many years, the words were slow in
coming. All they could do was stare at each other in disbelief.
“Jack,” she said, looking wondrously into his
eyes, “what are you doing here? How did you know I was here?” Rose asked,
gently touching his arm.
“I’m in the room next door. I saw you get on
back in Iowa. I kept staring at you. Because you looked so much, well, like
you,” he smiled.
“And I looked up just when you pulled the
shade down. There was something about you that made me think of you.”
They both laughed softly, unable to ignore
the electricity as their fingers accidentally touched.
“Rose,” he said gently, putting his hand on her
shoulder, “you were having a nightmare about Titanic, weren’t you?”
She nodded her head.
“I get them all the time. In April, around
that time, and when something makes me think, of, of you. Like tonight.”
“Me too. I woke up from mine, only to hear you
calling my name.”
Jack stood up. He looked down on her. This
all seemed so awkward. She was probably married and he had no business in here.
He should go now that he knew she was alright. They could talk in the morning.
“Jack, where are you going?” she asked.
“Back to my room. This doesn’t seem quite
proper.”
“No, Jack, where are you going on the train?”
she asked again.
“All the way to LA. I’m going to visit my
daughter for the holiday.”
“Where’s your wife Jack? Is she with you?”
Rose couldn’t help asking.
Jack looked down at the floor. It had been so
long now, it seemed as though he’d never had a wife. Only when he was with
Jean, did he connect with that part of his life.
“She’s dead, Rose. For a long, long time.
Since 1923.”
Rose studied Jack’s still handsome face. She
saw sadness there, sadness but mostly loneliness.
“I’m sorry,” she said, reaching out for him.
“I lost Sam a year ago in June, right after our 25th anniversary.”
Jack’s heart skipped a beat. He was sorry for
Rose and the pain she must have endured. But for a moment, he guiltily
rejoiced, knowing that she no longer was married, that she was free.
“That must have been terrible,” he murmured
gently. “Where are you going?” he asked her.
“I’m going to California too. One of my sons
is there. Richard. The other one, Joe, lives back east and can’t get away for
the holiday.”
Jack pondered all this. They were at least
going to be on this train for another day and a half. He would have that much
time with Rose. Time to catch up on everything and to find out what had
happened after Titanic.
“Listen, Rose,” he said, feeling very unsure
of himself, “I still think I better go. This doesn’t seem right. Maybe we can
talk in the morning. Have breakfast together and spend the whole day reminiscing.
What do you say?”
Whatever had happened to Jack in the past had
changed him. He had been alone for a long while. It sounded as if he had raised
his daughter all by himself. He seemed very concerned about propriety.
Something that had never stopped him before.
But Rose’s old sense of adventure was still
alive. Maybe because she had raised two sons, maybe because she had not been
alone as long.
“What happened to the man that used to say,
make each day count. Here we are seeing each other for the first time in 36
years and you are going to walk away? Don’t you want to make this time count?”
she said to him, desperate for him to stay near her.
“Rose, you’ll have to forgive me. I’ve
forgotten a lot of things. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?”
“Please don’t go. No one knows you are here.
We could just sit here together and talk. Please don’t leave me Jack, not
tonight,” she said, adding to herself, “or any night, ever again.”
It was not a hard decision to make. He wanted
to stay here and be with her. She had given him just the encouragement he
needed.
“Alright, I’ll stay,” he agreed.
Rose rearranged the pillows and straightened
the covers. Then she put her hand on the mattress, indicating where Jack should
be.
He got in the bed with her and placed his arm
around her shoulder. In the most natural of movements, she rested her head
against him.
“As I was saying before, Rose, I’d forgotten
a lot of things, but never how good this felt.”
“I never forgot either Jack,” she said
quietly. “I have thought about you everyday. I am ashamed to say that even
during my marriage, I wondered what our life would have been like, if it had
been you and me. That must sound strange to you.”
“No, not strange. Because I have had the same
feelings. But let’s not talk about all that now,” he replied. “Let’s just
concentrate on this moment.”
“Just holding each other, healing ourselves,”
he thought to himself.
Without saying much, they reveled in just
being together after all this time. As their hands caressed and they gently
kissed, they looked into one another’s eyes and thought their own private
thoughts. Slowly the years slipped away and they began to feel the familiarity
that had once been theirs.
The hours and the towns passed. Omaha, Grand
Island and Kearney, Nebraska. Three, four, six A.M.
It was 6:30 and Isaac was finishing putting
the last touches on the shoes he was polishing. He was going to put them back
in the right lockers outside each room and then he was going to start waking
his little brood. He took a piece of paper out of his jacket pocket. Mr. Dawson
had asked to be called at 6:45 and Mrs. Calvert at 6:30. The rest of the
travelers were waiting to be awakened until after North Platte at 7:10 A.M.
He finished with the shoes and decided to
wake up Mr. Dawson and Mrs. Calvert. At 6:40, it was a fair compromise for both
of them. He knocked on Bedroom E, but there was no answer. After being a
Pullman porter for twenty years, he knew just what he could and could not get away
with. When there was no response, he carefully opened the door. There was no
one there and Mr. Dawson’s robe was missing as well.
“Hmm,” thought Isaac, “Someone spent the
night somewhere else.”
He moved on to Mrs. Calvert in Bedroom D. He
knocked softly there as well, and there was no response. Again he opened the
door a crack, just to be sure that all was well.
There on the berth next to the window was the
handsome, lonely man and the sad faced, beautiful lady, sound asleep, their
arms entwined around each other, looking as though they would never let go.
“I’ll wait until about 8. Then I’ll bring
them some coffee. Probably need to rest after last night,” he smiled to
himself.