NO MORE 'IF ONLY'S'
Chapter Six
Rose’s Day
Rose had had a good time strolling the deck
with her husband. They laughed and talked and were having a glorious time. She
didn’t worry that other passengers stared. Let them stare, she thought. I
really don’t care what they think.
To making it count. Rose again heard her toast to Jack. "Dear,
let’s go below and swim. Well, you can swim, and I’ll watch."
"Sure, we should have time before
dinner. I’d love to have you with me, though."
"Oh, James, I do not like to swim. You
know that. I don’t see the point, even if it is exercise. I’ll watch you have a
good time." Rose couldn’t tell him that she hadn’t been in water since
that night she had had to swim to save her life. There was so much she couldn’t
tell him.
They went back to their room, and found a
note from Molly. Rose read it, and then showed it to James. "Molly wants
to see you again, huh? Not until after dinner, around eight at the bow. Last
night you said it was the stern. I guess I can give you up again," James
said. I wonder what this lady wants of Rose. I really should ask Rose more
questions about her past, he thought.
"James, if you don’t want me to go, then
I won’t. I’m here for our honeymoon. I was happy to see Molly again and I know
that after we get off this ship, I probably will not see her again. So…you
decide."
"Okay. She can have you one more night,
but this means I get you to myself now." And with that, he turned around
and shut off the light.
*****
Rose lay in bed, thinking about getting up.
She really thought that she had put Jack behind her. I’ll never forget you,
Jack. I do still love you. For the first time, Rose was willing to think
that maybe she shouldn’t have married James. They had spent the rest of the day
in bed, and she was starting to get tired. But James was getting ready for
dinner, and she should, too. She slowly got up. She joined James in their small
bathroom, and started a bath. They hardly talked, and Rose knew it was because
she had seemed elsewhere since they had got back. Maybe he could sense that
Rose wished he was Jack instead. She was being unfair to her husband, but since
she had seen this ship, Jack was all she could think about. Molly really had
nothing to do with her thoughts. Rose hadn’t thought this much about Jack for
five years. When she realized that he was dead, she knew that he would want her
to go on. If only she had found him in the water. If only he had survived. No
more if onlys, Rose thought.