NOBODY SAID LOVE WAS GONNA BE EASY
Chapter Sixteen
Rose sat beside Jack in the wagon
as they pulled up in front of the doctor’s office. She held the horses steady
while Jack used the wheelchair ramp to get down to the street, then drove the
wagon around the back of the building and tied up the horses.
When she came in the front door,
Jack had signed in and was waiting impatiently, tapping his fingers nervously
and flexing the one toe that had full movement. Rose sat beside him, taking his
hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.
Jack looked at her gratefully.
"Are you sure you want to come in with me, Rose? You can wait out here if
you want."
Rose shook her head. "I’m
coming with you, if they’ll let me. You jump, I jump, remember? I won’t let you
face something this hard alone."
Jack smiled at her and was about
to say more when the nurse called from the door to the back offices.
"Jack Dawson?"
Jack looked at her, starting to
wheel himself in the direction of the door, then looked up as Rose got behind
him and pushed him towards the nurse.
"Am I allowed to come in
with him?" Rose asked, pausing with her hands still on the wheelchair
handles.
"That’s up to Dr. Johnson.
If he says it’s all right, then you can stay with him. Otherwise, you’ll have
to wait out front."
Rose nodded, putting a hand on
Jack’s shoulder. Whether she was allowed to stay with him or not, she would be
there when he was done and was ready to go home.
The nurse talked to Jack for a
few minutes, writing the information down in his chart. By the time Dr. Johnson
came in, the nurse and Rose had helped him strip down to his long underwear so
that he would be able to move more easily.
The nurse left as soon as Dr.
Johnson came in. He looked at Rose with a raised eyebrow, but didn’t say anything
until she asked, "Dr. Johnson, can I stay with Jack while he undergoes
physical therapy?"
He thought for a moment, then
nodded. "I suppose, as long as you don’t try to interfere or get in the
way. If I ask for your help, you can come forward, but otherwise, I want you to
just sit back and watch. All right?"
Rose nodded. "All
right." She looked at Jack, who was looking worried again, and put a
reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I’ll just sit over there, if it’s all
right." She pointed to a chair in the corner of the room.
"That will be fine."
Dr. Johnson turned to Jack. "I’m going to put you on the examining table.
Once you’re there, I want you to try to move your legs, your feet…whatever you
can. Then we’ll see where to start."
Jack did as he was told, demonstrating
that he could move one big toe with ease, and had a little movement and feeling
in the knee of his other leg.
Dr. Johnson nodded. "All
right, Mr. Dawson. Now, I want you to lay back on the examining table while I
help you move your legs and feet. It may be painful, and I want to say
something if it is. It will mean that you are getting sensation back, and
that’s a step in the right direction. Okay?"
"Okay." Jack wasn’t
looking forward to this. He wanted to be able to walk again, but physical therapy
seemed like an unpleasant prospect.
His legs were stiff and shrunken
from lack of use. He was embarrassed to let people see him that way, and often
kept a blanket over his legs when they had company. He knew that his friends
wouldn’t laugh at him, but he still didn’t want them seeing his shrunken limbs.
It was bad enough that Rose saw him that way, but she was the one who assisted
him in everything, even in bathing and getting into bed at night.
Jack clenched his fists as Dr.
Johnson began helping him to move his legs. It did hurt, if only a little, but
he would take it if it meant that there was a chance that he would be able to
move his legs again.
Rose watched the whole time, her
own legs aching in sympathy as she watched Jack struggle to move on his own,
struggle to do even a fraction of what he had once been able to do.
At the end of the hour, Dr.
Johnson gave Jack a list of exercises to do, as well as some information on
physical therapy and spinal cord injuries.
Jack looked through the
information, then turned to the doctor, puzzled.
"Dr. Johnson?" He held
out the pamphlet. "This says that a spinal cord injury causes permanent
paralysis and loss of feeling. If that’s true, then why am I able to move and
feel a little?"
"Well, your spine wasn’t actually
severed. The bullet broke the vertebrae and nicked the spinal cord, but enough
was left intact that healing is possible. You said that you were able to walk
shortly after the injury, didn’t you?"
"Yes."
"That wouldn’t have been
possible if your spine had been severed."
"But why was I able to walk
then, but not after I came out of the coma?"
"It’s possible that your
movement then, or your friend’s attempts to help you, may have moved the bullet
enough to injure your spine. It could also have happened when you had surgery
to remove the bullet. But if those things hadn’t been done, you would almost
certainly have died."
Jack nodded thoughtfully. He
couldn’t blame his friends for trying to help him. They might have injured him
further, but without their help, he would have died, leaving Rose alone.
"Do you think I’ll be able
to walk again?"
"I think your chances are
very good. Though you may never walk as well as you once did, you’ll probably
be able to use your legs again in the future. In fact, I want you to come in
here next week to be fitted for leg braces. They may help you walk again even
if your legs remain weak."
"All right." Jack
smiled at Rose as she began to help him get dressed again.
"I also want you to come
back tomorrow for further physical therapy. In fact, I want you to make a
standing appointment. If all goes well, you’ll soon go beyond just moving your
legs and will be able to try to stand and even walk. There are a variety of
therapies that we can try, including water therapy, which will allow you work
on moving your legs without the pressure that comes from being on dry
land."
Jack nodded, then looked up at
Dr. Johnson, another question coming into his mind. "Uh…Dr. Johnson…this
may seem like a stupid question…but is there a possibility that I will recover
enough to have…ah…intimate relations with my wife again?"
Rose gave him a shocked look, her
face turning bright red. "Jack! Don’t ask him that!" she whispered,
horribly embarrassed.
But Dr. Johnson just took the
question in stride. He had heard variations on it more than once.
"Probably," he told
him. "Once you regain more feeling and movement in your legs, that will be
something for you and your wife to work on."
Rose finished helping Jack get
dressed, her face still flaming. As soon as the doctor had left, she turned on
him.
"Jack Dawson, don’t you ever
embarrass me like that again!" she hissed, more angry than she had thought
possible.
Jack gave her a contrite look.
"I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it would embarrass you like that. I thought
you might miss it, too."
Rose looked at him for a moment,
then turned away. "I don’t know if I miss it or not. It was…enjoyable…with
you…but after what Cal did to me…I just…I don’t know. It doesn’t seem the
same."
She wiped her eyes, embarrassed
by her sudden tears. She had tried to forget everything that Cal had done to
her, but no matter how hard she tried, something would remind her of the ordeal
he had put her through.
"Rose."
She turned to see Jack looking at
her. Without another word, he pulled her into his lap in the wheelchair,
cradling her head against his shoulder. She sniffed, trying to stop crying.
"I’m sorry, Rose. I didn’t
know it would bother you this much." He stroked her hair. "There’s no
guarantee that I’ll ever be able to make love to you again…but if I can, we’ll
talk about it then. Okay?"
"All right." Rose kept
her face pressed against his shoulder for several more minutes, until her tears
had stopped.
When she lifted her head, Jack was
looking at her. "Rose…" He paused for a moment, thinking of the right
words. "Rose, whatever happens, now or in the future, I’ll always love
you, no matter what. What you’ve been through isn’t going to make me stop
loving you. And whatever problems we might face in the future…we’ll work
through them. Things are looking up for us, Rose."
"I hope so." Rose
leaned her forehead against his, wrapping her arms around him. "I love
you, too, Jack, always. No matter what happens."