ODYSSEY OF THE MIND
Chapter Thirteen

"Rose, darling, do you have everything?" asked Ruth.

"Yes, Mama." Rose had been told she could leave the hospital a week after her stroke; she had been at Catherine's house for two more days. Now, Rose and Ruth were just anxious to get home.

"Well, I guess you two had better be heading out. You've been here so long already, little one." Catherine brushed a few hairs away from Rose's face.

Rose's eyes filled up with tears. She wanted to go home, and yet, she didn't want to leave Catherine.

"Thank you for everything, Catherine. Promise you'll come and visit, please," Rose begged.

"Of course. I promise. As soon as you are settled and things, all right? I know you feel like crying, so do I. But this isn't good-bye forever."

"I know. We will call when we get home. I love you."

"I love you, too. Now, you had better hurry. You might miss your train."

"Mama, would you carry my suitcase, please? My hand is too weak, today." Rose massaged her fingers. They had yet to gain all their strength back.

"All right," Ruth said kindly. "We really should go, it is getting late. Thank you, Catherine, I can never repay everything you did for my Rose."

"And I never expect you to. I was pleased to do it. And I am getting all the reward I need right now, seeing you two going home together. With Rose reasonably healthy. Good-bye for now, Ruth. Just let me know as soon as I can come, all right?"

"I certainly will," Ruth said smiling. "I look forward to it. Good-bye."

Rose and Ruth began to walk away, when Rose turned to face the other way again.

"Catherine, I can't! I just want to stay!"

"Go, Rose," Catherine said calmly.

"Catherine," Rose cried out.

"Go, Rose," she repeated. Rose looked into her eyes, and she could see all the unspoken words. She saw all of her triumphs radiating through Catherine's eyes, all the sadness and the joy. Rose's time here was through; she needed to move on. Every place and every person has its purpose...Catherine was there to help Rose. And she had done that.

Both Catherine and Rose smiled as if they had an unspoken secret. Rose just turned back towards the street and began walking...with a newfound strength and energy for life.

James drove the two ladies to the train station at a leisurely pace. Rose was thoughtful and quiet during the ride. Too quiet for Ruth's liking.

"Rose, I understand it's strange to be leaving after so long, but I saw you finally smile at Catherine. Is there something else on your mind, dear?"

"No, Mama. I feel the best I have in the longest time." Rose smiled at her mother.

"I'm so glad to hear that, darling. I can see it in your eyes."

A short while later, James pulled the carriage up to the train station. "Well, ladies," he spoke in a pleasant tone. "We're here."

James stepped out of the driver's seat and helped both Rose and Ruth out. "Shall I help you with your luggage?" he asked politely.

"No, thank you," Ruth replied.

"It sure isn't going to be the same without you around here, Rose. I'm going to miss you." James bent down and kissed Rose sweetly on the cheek. He knew it was not the last time that he would ever see Rose. "Best of luck."

"Thank you, James." He tipped his hat as the two women headed towards the train platform.

*****

As the train pulled into the Philadelphia station, Ruth gently woke her daughter. They disembarked quickly, and almost immediately the porter took their bags. Though Ruth still had a car and driver at home, she had decided beforehand to have a taxicab, in hopes that would make Rose more comfortable right away. Thankfully, their house was not far from the station, so as soon as the bags were placed in the taxi, the two women only had to wait a few more minutes to pull up in front of their home.

As Rose and her mother walked up the pathway to their front door, Rose was overcome with emotion. She had not set foot in this house in far over a year, now.

As they approached the front door, the butler opened the door. "Oh, Miss Rose, Mrs. Bukater, so good to have you home! We've missed you, Rose." Their butler had always been a very kind, older man.

"Thank you, William. I've missed being here." She smiled at him as they entered the DeWitt-Bukater mansion.

"Mama, may I go see my room, now?"

"Of course, dear. The key is in my jewelry box."

Rose immediately went upstairs to her mother's room and retrieved the key. She went to stand in front of her door, slowly fitting the key in the lock. For some reason, she did not know, Rose hesitated, now, to turn the key and enter the room. After a moment, she did, and stood there in the dim light, her eyes taking in every detail.

The scent of lavender was still noticeable. Lavender had always been Rose's favorite scent. That and roses were all Rose ever wanted her bedroom to smell like. She wouldn't have it any other way.

Near the foot of the bed, were Rose's favorite stuffed animals. Ruth had always thought it was ridiculous for Rose, at the age of seventeen, to still have stuffed animals decorating her room. But Rose didn't care. They had always made her feel more comfortable.

Rose sat down on the bed and began to whisper out loud to no one in particular.

"It's amazing how much the human soul can change. Just when you think that all hope is gone, there's nothing left to live for, someone comes along and gives you that extra strength. Sometimes, I wonder, though, if I got more than my share. I had three people give me that strength. And I think it odd that the third person, was one of the main causes I had given up hope in the first place."

Rose sighed silently, then continued in her whispered thoughts. "I think I've definitely learned the power of emotions...love, anger, frustration, stress, joy...so many emotions--so many ways to express them."

Rose grew silent as she heard her mother coming upstairs, walking straight toward her door. Ruth opened it slowly, seeming hesitant.

"Rose, dear, who were you talking to?"

"Just to myself. I didn't even imagine you could hear me. It's just so strange being back here. I'm glad, but I'm so different than I was, and I'm just wondering what I may do next."

"Rose, we just got here. Just settle in, for now. Then, later, after dinner, I will give you that surprise I promised a while ago. Right now, please, come down with me and I will introduce you to the maids. Then, you would probably like to go into your father's study, wouldn't you?"

"Yes, Mama, I would."

"All right, then. Come." Ruth gestured for Rose to follow her. Rose stood and walked downstairs beside her mother. Somehow, the house just didn't fit Rose's personality anymore. The child that once lived here was snobby, and very unhappy. The person walking down the staircase, now, was a hopeful, free-spirited young woman.

"Is something troubling you, dear?" Ruth asked, noticing Rose's expression.

"No, no. Just getting used to this all again. I've been away for so long." Rose paused for a moment, lost in her thoughts.

"Oh, Rose, we should call Catherine and let her know we arrived safely."

"Yes, you're right," Rose agreed.

For some reason, Rose felt more comfortable allowing her mother to dial. She waited silently as they talked a moment or two, then Ruth gave Rose the phone.

Taking herself and Catherine completely by surprise, as soon as Rose said hello, she began to cry.

"Rose, dear, what's wrong?" Catherine asked.

"I...I...miss you," Rose said through sobs.

"Shh, you mustn't cry, Rose. The longer you cry, the longer it will take you to adjust yourself again. Please, don't cry." Catherine's voice was gentle, and she DID make sense.

Rose regained her composure and sniffled. "All right," she said softly.

"Now, isn't that better?"

"Yes."

"Good. Now, how was your trip? I assume it went smoothly?"

"Yes, it did. And I am happy to be home. It's just...everything seems so...strange."

"I'm sure it must, my little Rose. Just give yourself time, you'll see. It will get easier. Whenever you really want to talk to me, just call. I'm going to be in most of the time. I should let you get on your way, now. I love you, Rose. Good-bye."

"Good-bye. I love you, too." Rose slowly hung up and turned to face her mother.

"Are you okay, darling?" her mother asked.

"Yes, I'm all right."

"Would you like to go meet the new maids?"

"I suppose. Then may I go lie down until supper? I feel rather exhausted." Rose covered her mouth and yawned softly.

"Of course, dear. Now, come with me. Sue and Elizabeth are waiting in the sitting room to meet you." Ruth smiled and Rose smiled back at her.

Ruth led her daughter into the sitting room. There, standing in front of the small couch, were two young women...smiling. Rose was rather surprised by this. None of the servants had ever really smiled--especially at her mother. Rose's surprise only grew from there, as one of the maids spoke.

"Mrs. DeWitt-Bukater, it's so wonderful to have you home, again. And this must be Rose."

"Yes, that's right Elizabeth. We were delayed in coming home. It couldn't be helped. But Rose will be all right, now."

After this, Ruth completed proper introductions, and as Rose was leaving to return to her room, she could just overhear something her mother whispered to Sue.

"Sue, would you please go upstairs with my daughter? I'm still quite nervous to leave her alone just yet." Rose made out only fractions of what she had said, but she had heard enough.

Without turning to face her mother, she spoke angrily. "I'm not a child, Mother. I can handle being alone." After a moment, Rose started on her way, again.

"She just needs to get settled, Ma'am. I'm sure once she's adjusted she'll feel more comfortable," said Elizabeth.

"For all our sakes, I hope so." Ruth spoke softly.

Later that evening, Ruth went upstairs to wake Rose just before dinner. She knocked softly on the door.

"Yes?" she heard Rose answer.

"Dinner is almost ready."

Rose mumbled under her breath. "I'll be down soon," she said between her teeth.

Ruth was about to say something, but then closed her mouth. She decided they would just talk over dinner.

Rose came down right on time. Ruth saw she looked very rested, but still quite cross. She took a seat at the table without a word. Ruth decided to try starting a conversation.

"Did you sleep all right, dear?"

"Yes, fine, thank you."

"The cook has made your favorite things for dinner, tonight. After traveling, and your health problems, I thought it was the least we could do."

Rose did not look up. "Thank you," was all she said.

"Rose, why are you still angry? I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just concerned, that's all."

"I know you are, Mother. But if I wanted help, I would ask for it. I'm home, now. I'd like to finally move on. But if you insist on treating me like I'm some delusional madwoman, then that won't happen." Rose still did not look up. It was quite apparent to Ruth of how serious Rose was about this.

"I...I'm sorry, Rose. I didn't realize."

"Just don't do it again," she said plainly.

The cook brought out the food and set it on the table before them...Rose was famished, but as she picked up her knife and fork to begin cutting the meat, she found her hand just too weak to do it. She didn't say anything, but after Rose had hesitated a short while, her mother asked.

"Is something wrong, dear? You are hungry, aren't you?"

"Yes, but...it's my hand, Mama. I can't..." Rose dropped her fork and knife on the plate, frustrated. She slumped back in her chair with a look of defeat on her face. "Damn stroke," Rose murmured under her breath.

"Here, pass your plate to me," Ruth said. Rose did not look at her mother, but did as she was told. Ruth cut Rose's meat into bite size pieces, then passed the plate back to Rose.

"Thank you," Rose mumbled. She sat back up straight, but not in an uncomfortable position.

"You're welcome. The doctors said things would just take time. Rose, I know it's hard to be patient. Whenever you do need help, please just ask. You don't have to be ashamed, darling."

"I know. It just makes me angry. By the time we came back here, I wanted to be doing everything just like I used to. Even Daddy must be so ashamed of me."

"Rose, stop talking like that. Your father was always proud of you. Look at where you are, after everything you've been through. You are doing so well. Perhaps after we are finished here, I can give you your surprise, would you like that, darling?"

For the first time since Rose came downstairs, she looked at her mother. "I...I guess so."

"All right, then. For now, let's just eat."

It took Rose a little bit longer to eat her meal than usual, but she did so in a timely manner. She drank the rest of her water, and excused herself from the table. She walked out onto the back terrace and looked at the sky--the sun would soon be setting.

"Rose." Ruth came up from behind. Rose turned around and Ruth smiled at her. "Come," Ruth said simply.

Rose followed Ruth to the stables. Why would her mother be bringing her here? She never liked the idea of Rose being around horses. It was only when her father was alive that she got to ride.

Almost without a word, the stable hand brought out a regal-looking chestnut mare. "She's yours, Rose. I know it's a little soon, but happy birthday."

Rose could not keep her jaw from dropping, and for several long seconds, she couldn't speak, either.

"I know you always liked to ride," Ruth continued.

"I...I don't know what to say," Rose finally spoke. "Thank you." Rose stroked the horse's nose. She smiled when she seemed to enjoy it.

"Hi there. You're a pretty horse. What's your name, huh?"

"You can name her whatever you like," Ruth said.

Rose looked at her and smiled. Then she turned her attention back to the horse. "Hmm, lets see. You look like a...Desiree. You like that name?"

"Would you like to brush her, Miss?" the stable hand asked.

"Oh, yes, thank you." The young man handed her a brush and she stroked the mare on her back.

"It's getting late to ride her tonight, but you can ride her first thing tomorrow," Ruth said. "I know how much you want to."

"Yes, I do. But it is getting late, and after I'm finished here, I'd like to spend some time in Daddy's study."

"I'm sure you do. You won't need the key anymore. It's open."

Rose smiled pleasantly. "All right, Mama. I'll finish brushing Desiree first, then I'll come back to the house."

"That's fine, Rose. I'm so glad you like her. I wanted to find you the perfect thing."

"This is perfect, Mama, believe me." Ruth smiled and left her daughter to her work.

Just a short time later, Rose was seated in her father's study, thinking deeply.

To Rose's own surprise, she did not cry. She simply thought about the one time that he came to visit her. He had been so kind, and now she knew why her mother felt...uncomfortable talking of him. In a way, it seemed as if Ruth was almost jealous of the relationship she and her father shared.

Rose stood up slowly and walked to the tall bookcase. She ran her fingers over the various books, remembering how her father just loved to read. Sometimes, Patrick had even read to Rose before she fell asleep.

Rose walked over to her father's desk and sat down in his chair. She was sure her mother had cleared everything out of the drawers, but something inside her, told her to check inside.

Slowly and gently, Rose opened the drawer. Just as she had expected, it was empty. She closed it in disappointment. As she closed the drawer, she saw something sticking out from under the drawer itself.

As gently as possible, Rose removed it. What she found was a picture taken at one of her parents' anniversary parties, when she had been seven. The same one that Rose had raided her mother's makeup drawer for.

In his usual way, her father was smiling, but Ruth was stiff and nearly frowning. Rose wondered why he had hidden this so carefully. The thought she had was that perhaps this had been the last anniversary when her father had been truly happy. Rose decided to take the picture with her up to her room.

With that, she stood and went upstairs to have the maid help her change for bed.

Once upstairs, Rose placed the photograph gently in a hatbox in her large closet. She didn't want anyone to find it. It would be her one and only physical memory of her father.

"Miss Rose, are you ready for bed?" came the sweet voice of Sue.

"Yes, Sue," she answered from inside her bedroom. Sue opened Rose's bedroom door, and walked in.

"Will you be taking a bath tonight, Miss?"

"No, I'm too tired. I will take one in the morning."

"Very well, Miss."

Sue helped Rose change into her nightclothes and left her alone to go to sleep.

Rose walked over to her vanity and sat in front of the mirror. She grabbed her hairbrush of soft bristles and brushed out her tangled hair. She looked at herself in the mirror and studied her features. Not much had changed physically, but she had changed immensely inwardly.

After her stroke, Rose still had lingering effects. Her right hand was still very weak. She pretty much had to use her left hand for most things. Her right leg had at first been weak, but since walking on it, it had been better.

Rose, suddenly feeling very tired, stood and walked to her bed. That was one thing she had missed...her nice soft bed. She lay down and slept peacefully for the entire night.

*****

The next morning, after Rose had bathed and eaten, she traveled to the horse stable to take Desiree for a ride. Rose found the stable hand feeding the horses when she got there. She told him that she was going to take her horse for a ride, and he saddled Desiree up for her.

After Rose had brought her horse into the sunlight, she tried to mount her...tried. Rose had forgotten. She could not grasp anything with her right hand.

The stable hand saw Rose struggling to mount her horse, and, without being asked, approached and simply lifted her up, placing her gently in the saddle. "Thank you," she murmured.

"Welcome, Miss. Hope you enjoy your ride."

"I'm sure I will. I'll be back soon. I'd like to take lunch with my mother." With that said, Rose set out on her ride.

Almost as soon as she left the stable, Rose's thoughts turned to Jack. She felt he was proud of her, but there was so much still to do...she knew she must strengthen her hand to ride the way Jack had said they were going to...and she would. Moving on was not going to be easy. But Rose felt prepared, now, for whatever pain might be involved. Especially since going through so much over the past year, and surviving it. For now, what she needed was to learn to cherish her memories, and to look to her mother for whatever support she may need.

Suddenly, Rose realized how far afield she had gone, and turned to go back to the stable. After having help dismounting, Rose headed to the house to change out of her riding clothes. Sue helped her in doing so, and Rose then joined her mother for lunch.

"Good afternoon, Mother," Rose said cheerfully, once she located her mother.

"And a wonderful hello to you, too, darling. How was your ride?"

"Very relaxing, thank you. Will lunch be ready, soon?"

"Fairly soon; in about a half an hour. Until then, why don't you give Catherine a call? I'm sure she'd love to talk to you."

"All right. I think I will." Rose left her mother and walked to where the telephone was. She dialed Catherine's number and waited for her to answer. It rang and rang, several times, but there was no answer.

"Hmm, I guess she went out," Rose spoke to herself. She delicately hung up the phone and headed upstairs to her room until lunch was ready.

When Rose came to the table, she found her food already prepared so it would be easy for her to eat. Ruth began a conversation first.

"Rose, did you have any special plans for tomorrow?"

"No, Mama. Why?"

"Well, I thought perhaps we could go riding together. We do still have the other mare, and she doesn't get near enough exercise. You do enjoy riding very much, and frankly, I was hoping that...you could teach me to appreciate it."

Rose was more than a bit surprised. "Oh...of course, if you'd like, Mama."

"I would, really. Whenever you come back from a ride, you just seem so...content. And your father always tried to get me to ride."

"Why didn't you go with him, Mama?"

"Well, I don't know if I really ever did have a good reason. Mostly, I think I just didn't go because it was something he and you shared. I know that sounds terribly awful of me, but that's the way I was then. Now, I feel I owe it to the both of you. And I really do want to learn," she explained.

"That's wonderful, Mama. I think you'll really love it."

"I'm sure I will," Ruth said with a smile.

Rose and Ruth finished their meal soon thereafter, and Rose went to call Catherine again. She only hoped she'd be back.

Rose dialed the number carefully, and waited to hear Catherine's voice. "Hello," Rose heard Catherine answer.

"Hello, Catherine. It's me."

"Rose, dear, how are you feeling, today?"

"Oh, I'm feeling much better."

"That's wonderful, dear. You do sound much happier. I'm looking forward to coming to see you."

"I can't wait to see you either. I think it would be nice for you to come three weeks from today. Would that be all right?"

"Oh, yes. I'm free anytime, really. See you in three weeks, then, my little one. Good-bye."

"Good-bye, Catherine. I love you."

"I love you, too. Tell your mother I said hello, all right?"

"I will. Good-bye."

"Good-bye, dear."

Rose sighed contentedly as she hung up the phone. She was keeping her promise.

"You have to promise me you'll survive..."

The End.

Stories