OLIVIA
Chapter Fourteen
Rated R for Content
The atmosphere over the next few
months after the twin’s birth was one of joy and excitement, for everyone, that
is, except Olivia. She barely had time to adjust to her babies when they were
handed over to a nanny at Cal’s insistence. Thankfully, the nursery was close
enough to her room that Olivia could hear one of them if they cried, but she
would no sooner go in then Mrs. Ryan would bustle in and assure her she was
taking care of things.
While she was grateful for the
help, she was also weary of Mrs. Ryan’s no nonsense approach. She made Olivia
feel at times as if she were an intruder rather than her children’s mother. After
this had happened several times, Olivia finally spoke to Cal one evening at
dinner about her concerns and voiced her annoyance about Mrs. Ryan. But in his
usual cool manner, he informed her that the woman was doing what she was hired
to do.
"She came highly
recommended, Olivia. I advise you to let the woman do her job and stop worrying
yourself over matters that need not be worried over."
"Are you suggesting that I
not worry over my own children?" she asked, irritated at his attitude.
"Of course not," he
said, lifting his wine glass. "We hired this woman to do a job, and she’s
doing it."
"But I’m their mother."
She stated the obvious.
"And I’m their father."
He looked at her over the rim of his glass. "I have taken care of this.
You must learn to trust my judgment where our children our concerned."
Olivia stared at him in stony
silence. She gripped her napkin under the table until her knuckles turned
white. She felt as if the room was closing in on her and if she didn’t get out,
she would suffocate. Ever so slowly, she rose from the table, laid her napkin
down, and turned to leave, but stopped when he spoke to her.
"Where do you think you’re
going, Olivia?" he asked behind her.
She could hear the rustle of
movement as he stood and came near to her. She tensed when she felt his hand
slide up her back and into her hair. He pushed the long, blonde tresses to one
side and bent so that his mouth was close to ear and she could feel his warm
breath against her skin.
"When we married, I told you
that I must have your complete loyalty. Do you remember that?" She didn’t
answer, but closed her eyes when she felt his hand slide around her waist and
across her abdomen. "You must never question my judgment. I have to be
able to trust you in all things…this was our understanding."
Olivia didn’t respond as he came
around and stared down at her. He grinned mockingly at her silent defiance. He
lifted his hand and trailed a finger along her jaw line, down the length of her
neck and across the swell of her breasts. "I do believe you are being
rather rebellious. What am I to do about that?"
Still she didn’t answer. In spite
of everything within her, his touch had sent her pulse racing. She despised
herself for feeling this way. He was a selfish and demanding man. She knew how
far his cruelty could go, and yet…and yet…in spite of it all, his nearness and
his touch were exciting her. She was shocked and repulsed by it, and yet, there
it was.
Cal sensed the change in her and
raised a questioning eyebrow at her reaction. She turned her head away, but it
was too late for that. He slowly pulled her to him, pressing their bodies close
together. She stiffened, but didn’t move when he lowered his head to her neck
and softly kissed the throbbing pulse beneath her ear. She let out an audible
breath when he did. He inched his way up, kissing her delicately until he was
only inches from her mouth. Her heart was slamming against her ribs; it had
been so long since he had touched her like this, so long since she had felt
this. She was torn between wanting to move and wanting to stay, but she could
do neither.
"Olivia." He whispered
her name against her lips. "What are you doing to me?"
She still hadn’t moved. Her arms
hung rigid at her sides. If she touched him she would lose what self-control
she had. She didn’t want this to happen. She couldn’t let it. He had done so
many hurtful things to her, so many things that she couldn’t forget. Why, oh,
why was her body betraying her this way?
Cal lifted his head for a moment
and saw the look in her eyes, the tumult of conflicting emotions that she knew
was there for him to see. She wanted to turn away because she didn’t want him
to see, but she couldn’t. His breathing deepened, and finally, when neither of
them could take anymore, he growled, swooped down, and captured her mouth with
his own. He kissed her hungrily, his hands moving over her body and tangling in
her hair.
Olivia whimpered and threw her
arms around him as he passionately assaulted her mouth. It had never been this
way before. She had never felt this between them, this need that was nearly
tangible. She raised herself up on her tiptoes and kissed him back in an almost
desperate way, moving her arms from his waist to around his neck.
He deepened the kiss by pulling
her head back by her hair and nearly lifting her off her feet. It went on and
on until she thought she would faint from it. He finally broke away from her
and rained kisses over her neck and face. "Olivia, Olivia…" He
groaned her name. "This is insane."
She couldn’t answer; she was too
far gone to even try. She was loving what he was doing to her and hating
herself for loving it. She had been denied his touch for so long, and God help
her, but she loved him. She wanted him and there didn’t seem to be anything she
could do to stop what was happening.
He picked her up and carried her
out of the dining room, up the winding staircase, and into their suite. Time
stood still when he shut the door and stood her in front of him. They stared at
each other for a moment, and then Cal reached for her. Without hesitation, she
came to him and gave herself to him willingly. Their movements were rushed and
desperate as they undressed each other, as if what was happening would suddenly
stop. They fell to the floor in a tumbled heap, unaware they had not made it to
the bed. Over and over again she cried out his name, until finally they passed
the point of no return and she felt her body break into a million pieces
beneath him. She had never experienced anything like it in her life, and for a
breathless moment, she couldn’t move, nor breathe, nor barely even think
clearly as she slowly came back to earth.
It was then that she began to
cry, for what reason she wasn’t sure. She just knew that everything had changed
and nothing would be as it was. How could she continue to live life as before,
knowing that she didn’t have his love as he had hers? How could she when she
now knew what it could be like between them? What was she going to do?
"Olivia," he whispered
as he pulled back to look at her. "Why are you crying?"
She smiled through her tears and
pushed her dark thoughts aside. "No reason," she answered, touching
his face. "No reason at all."
They lay there until the floor
became too uncomfortable and they made their way to their bed. Olivia held onto
to him tightly, afraid if she let go she would lose him and what they had
shared. As she fell asleep, she took thoughts of hope with her that in the
morning they could begin again and start their life anew.