OLIVIA
Chapter Twenty-One
It wasn’t until the next evening
that Olivia had the opportunity to tell Cal about the baby. They had gone into
the parlor after dinner, where Cal immediately immersed himself in the
newspaper. Olivia paced around the room, looking over at him from time to time.
Finally, she faced him and cleared her throat. "Cal, I have something to
tell you," she started.
"Hmm," he mumbled, and
glanced distractedly over at her. "What is it?"
"Well…" She smiled and
bit her lip. "It seems I’m going to have another baby."
"What?" His eyes
widened as he looked up at her. "Are you sure?"
"As sure as I can be. It
will be sometime in February."
He didn’t say anything for a
moment, but laid his newspaper aside. Olivia stepped closer to him. "You
are happy about it, aren’t you?"
"Yes, yes, of course,"
he answered, and smiled slightly. "I just wasn’t expecting it this
soon."
"Neither was I, but here we
are," she replied with a quiet laugh. "I had hoped to have a bit of
time between the twins, but…"
Cal stood and walked over to the bar,
pouring himself a snifter of brandy in the process. Olivia noticed that he
hadn’t so much as touched her, but had walked directly to the bar instead. She
wanted him to touch her, to reassure her that this was something he was really
happy about, because she wasn’t sure at all. She would have three children, all
babies, and as much as she loved being a mother, the prospect was a scary one.
"You really are pleased
about it?" she asked again.
"Yes. I told you I wanted
more sons, and you are doing exactly as I had hoped when we married, which is
providing me with them," he answered her before taking a sip of the
brandy.
Olivia stared at him for a
moment, not quite sure how to take his comment. To her, it seemed that he was
comparing her to a baby breeding machine and nothing more. Surely that wasn’t
his intent with what he said. He must have seen the look on her face, for he
came around the bar towards her.
"Come now, Olivia," he
began as he came up to her. "Don’t pretend that this wasn’t part of the
reason for our marriage. I made my desire for children very clear, mainly my
desire for sons. I haven’t misled you about that." His face softened for a
moment as he lifted her chin to look at her. "Have I?"
"No." She shook her
head as she answered him. He hadn’t misled her, but somehow the way he said it
made her think in some way he had. Then, suddenly, something stirred within
her…something she hadn’t thought about in months…something that she had pushed
very far back in her mind. It was right there, so close that the only thing she
had to do was open the door to see it.
"I have never been anything
but forthright in my desire for sons. The Hockley name must be preserved, and
as I am the only son my parents could have, it’s my duty to make sure that it
continues on," he told her.
Again, Olivia felt a sense of
awareness. It was getting stronger with each passing moment. What was it? What
could be pressing against her memory so intensely?
"Believe me when I say this
is very good news, Olivia. Father will be pleased as well, I’m sure. He always
regretted that my mother could never have more children after me."
"Father," she repeated
his name in almost a whisper. Father, she thought. Nathan Hockley. She
searched her mind frantically now, knowing that it was close. Nathan Hockley
had triggered something deep within her.
"Yes, my father," Cal
answered her. He looked down at her with a puzzled look on his face. "Are
you sure you’re all right? You’re not feeling ill, are you?"
Olivia couldn’t answer him. She
was experiencing something she had never experienced before, and it was so
strange and foreign that it threatened to overwhelm her. It was coming back to
her now. It was the night of their homecoming party and she was on the patio.
She heard their voices, their laughter. I hear old Nathan gave him ten
million for marrying her and he’ll get an additional five million for every son
born to him. You know what that means for the poor girl, don’t you?
Like a whirlwind, it came back to
her. The awful truth, the truth so painful she had blocked it out…until now.
She stepped away from him and walked over to the couch, turning her back on him
in the process. She placed a shaking hand to her mouth to keep herself from
reacting to what she now knew and could no longer hide from. A sickening
feeling washed over her, threatening to consume her.
She heard Cal come up behind her,
concern lining his voice. "Olivia, darling, perhaps you should go lie
down. You’re not looking well at all."
She nearly laughed from the irony
in that statement. Of course I’m not looking well! she wanted to scream.
How could she when she knew the truth of their marriage…the real truth? From
the very beginning, it had been a lie--all of it! All this time, when she
thought that it was Rose who prevented them from being close, it was really
money. Money! His all-consuming greed for money and the power it wielded.
Five million for every son born
to him. Oh, dear God, could this be happening? She felt his hands tighten on
her forearms when she slumped a little. Realizing this, she jerked away from
him. She didn’t want him to touch her.
"What is this, Olivia?
What’s going on with you?" Cal whirled her around. "One minute we’re
discussing our children and the next you look like you’ve seen a ghost."
She looked up into his eyes,
those dark, seductive eyes that had always been her undoing. Please! She
wanted to cry. Please tell me it isn’t true. Please tell me this wasn’t the
only reason for marrying me and having children with me. Please tell me that I
mean more to you than that. But she couldn’t say any of it. No wonder she
had blocked it out. It was too horrible to think about.
As she stood there looking at
him, she felt something cold begin to stir deep in her chest. She wasn’t an
idiot. She knew that things were less than perfect between them. She had always
hoped that, while she didn’t have the love from him that she craved, in some
way he did care for her. The ultimate irony of it was that all this time she
had thought her fight for him was against Rose’s ghost, but now…
"Why do you have that look
on your face? What’s going on?" he demanded now, his brows furrowed
together. "Talk to me, Olivia."
"I…" she finally
managed. "I-I’m not feeling well. I’d like to go lie down as you
said."
"Don’t be absurd. I can see
something is wrong, something more than just not feeling well. I want an answer
from you, and I want it now."
"It’s nothing." She
swallowed hard. "I--I guess it’s been a long day and the twins were very
active today. I’m just very tired, Cal."
His grip tightened on her arms as
his face darkened. "You aren’t telling me the truth. I can see it in your
eyes."
"I just need to lie
down," she answered him reluctantly. "Please don’t harass me."
He drew himself up then as a
dangerous smile came across his face. "Harass you? I am your husband, my
dear. I can do anything I please and you will do as you’re told, starting with
telling me why you looked at me as if I had crawled out from beneath a rock.
What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?"
Olivia contemplated her next
move, her resilience growing weaker and weaker. If he would just leave her
alone, she could brace herself for this. But it was clear that wasn’t going to
happen. Cal was relentless in his pursuit once he started.
A sudden tap at the door
interrupted them. McBride stepped in and cleared his throat. "Mr. Hockley,
a telegram just arrived for you. It’s marked urgent. I thought you’d want to
see it right away."
Cal stared intently down at her
before finally releasing his hold on her. "This is not finished," he
growled in a low voice. "You will be waiting for me upstairs after I’ve
taken care of this."
Olivia didn’t answer, but only
turned her head away. She felt him move away from her and speak to McBride on
his way out. "Escort Mrs. Hockley upstairs and make sure she stays in our
suite."
"Yes, sir," McBride
responded.
With the click of the door, she
knew he was gone and it was only she and McBride in the room. Embarrassed,
ashamed, and humiliated, she couldn’t turn to face him. She slowly made her way
over to the couch and sat down. Everything that had transpired raced through
her mind. A lump formed in her throat and a dull ache in her heart.
"Mrs. Hockley," she
heard McBride say behind her. "Is there anything I can get for you?"
She closed her eyes, wishing he would just go away and leave her alone. But of
course that wouldn’t happen. He had been given orders by Cal and he would carry
them out, regardless of her feelings on the matter. When she didn’t answer, she
heard him step forward towards her.
"Mrs. Hockley," he said
again. "I don’t want to pry--"
"Then don’t!" She cut
him off. "I can find my own way to my suite, Mr. McBride. I don’t need,
nor do I wish, for your assistance." She had barely gotten the words out
when she felt the tears form in her eyes. Her resolve began to break as they
came forth unbidden. No, no, no! she cried in her mind. Not now, not
here, not like this! She lowered her head and tried to regain her
composure.
Olivia heard a rustle of movement
and then, quite to her shock, she felt McBride lay a hand on her shoulder. The
weight of it was warm and comforting, but it shouldn’t have been. It was far
too familiar and she knew it, but in her frame of mind she was grateful for the
kindness he was showing her. She felt herself slightly leaning into it until
she heard him next to her.
"Olivia." McBride said
her name softly. "He’s a fool."
Gasping, she turned sharply to
him. "How dare you?" she accused. "Don’t you dare say that to
me. You’ve no right to take such liberties."
He shook his head, his green eyes
penetrating her tearful ones. "Perhaps not, but I see the way he treats
you and I say again, the man is a fool."
She stood quickly and stepped
away from him. "You forget yourself, Mr. McBride."
"Patrick," he amended.
"My name is Patrick."
"It is of little consequence
to me what your name is. I want you to leave now, and if you overstep your boundaries
again, I will have no other choice but to report you to Mr. Hockley."
He stood as well and faced her.
"I see how unhappy you are. I also see how you look at him, wanting
attention you never get. The sadness you feel is expressed through your eyes."
He paused for a moment and stepped closer to her. "I know I have no right
to speak to you this way, but I have, and I’m not sorry."
Olivia didn’t know what to say.
She was stunned and shaken at his bold words. No one had ever said such things
to her--no man, anyway.
"If nothing else, I wanted
you to know that you have a friend to talk to. That is, if you ever have the
desire to talk. You have an ally in me and I’m a good listener. Not many would
understand this life you lead, but I do."
Still, she didn’t answer. Too
much was happening too soon. He bowed his head slightly to her as he spoke.
"I will take my leave now and leave you to go to your suite alone."
She watched him as he made his
way across the room and to the door. Just before exiting it, he turned back to
her and smiled slightly at her. "I’m not your enemy, Olivia Hockley, just
someone who cares about what happens to you. If that is wrong, then let me be
wrong." And with that, he was gone.
Oh, my God. She twisted around to face the windows.
Stepping over to them, her mind was in a tumultuous state as she looked out
into the horizon, seeing everything, but seeing nothing. How could she have
allowed that to happen? Cal would be furious if he even suspected anything like
this from her.
But in that instant, her feelings
turned bitter when she thought of him. Cal had used her, and while deep down
inside she knew something hadn’t been right all along, she had never thought
that he hadn’t cared for her when he married her. She clung to that, hoping that
someday they could truly come together as a true couple.
At the moment, however, she only
felt betrayed and humiliated. If it were true, if it were really true, then
what did she have left? What was there to look forward to? There was only one
way to find out for sure, and that was to confront him about it all. Oh, yes,
she would be waiting for him in their suite, and when he got there, he would be
the one answering questions, not she. He would be the one to account for this
marriage, and she intended to be told the truth, one way or another.