OLIVIA
Chapter Twenty-Four
The weeks of recovery slowly
passed for Olivia, but with each day, she began to feel stronger physically, if
not emotionally. She was still trying to come to terms with the revelation of
what Cal had done and what that meant for their marriage. Her trust and
confidence in him had been greatly shaken, and she simply didn’t know how to
feel about it.
Dr. Covington had assured her
that she would heal and be back to herself in no time, but she knew on the
inside that she was different. She was afraid she had lost something, and it
was more than the child she had been carrying. She felt empty and misplaced,
unsure of the stability that was once her life. She felt no serenity in
anything, although she had received many visits from family and friends.
Everyone had shown their concern for her and their sympathy for the loss of the
baby, and while she was thankful, it brought her little comfort.
On this day, three weeks after
the accident, it was late in the afternoon and Mrs. Ryan had just taken the
twins back to the nursery. Once she had been able to sit up for longer periods
of time, Olivia requested to have her babies brought to her. She missed them
terribly and she missed not being able to hold them the way she wanted. They
were the one true light in her otherwise dark world. Their happy, smiling faces
and chubby little bodies did more for her than any medicine.
Olivia noticed that Mrs. Ryan
didn’t seem as stern as she normally did. She didn’t correct her or scowl at
her, but sat back and let Olivia enjoy being with them. She sat close to watch
after them so they wouldn’t crawl off the bed or hurt themselves, but other
than that she never said an out-of-the-way word to Olivia, for which Olivia was
grateful.
She had just adjusted herself in
the bed as best she could when a tap came at the door. Marietta stepped in,
smiling as she did. "Mrs. Hockley, may I speak with you in private?"
"Of course, Marietta,"
Olivia answered, trying to adjust herself to a more comfortable position.
Marietta shut the door behind her and quietly made her way over to the bed. She
curtsied and clasped her hands in front of her.
"I don’t want to disturb
you, but I felt this was very important and couldn’t wait."
Puzzled at her behavior, Olivia
instructed her to pull up a chair next to the bed so they could talk. After
doing this, Marietta sat down and pulled out an envelope. "This came in
the afternoon mail delivery," she said, handing it to her. "You know
Mr. Hockley reads every piece of mail that comes here, but when I saw this, I
knew you would want to read it…alone."
Olivia took the envelope and
immediately recognized her sister’s handwriting. She glanced up at Marietta,
who was looking at her expectantly. "You took this?"
"Yes, ma’am." She
nodded. "As soon as I saw it, I knew you’d want to read it."
Olivia reached over and took her
hand. "Thank you, Marietta. I appreciate your thoughtfulness."
"Yes, ma’am." Marietta
smiled brightly. "I really must get back downstairs to ready your tray for
dinner. Cook says Mr. Hockley has requested something special for you
tonight."
Olivia didn’t answer, but only
smiled slightly. Cal had been doing that for days now. Yesterday he had three
dozen each of long-stemmed roses, daffodils, and lilies sent to her. They lined
the tabletops and dressers all over their room. Dismissing the thought, she
looked down at the plain white envelope in her hand. After Marietta left, she
tore it open and pulled out the two pieces of paper.
Dear Olivia,
I hope this letter finds you
well. As I’m sure you’ve heard by now, I’ve run away from Edenbrook. Don’t
worry about me. I’m fine. I can’t tell you where I am, because I’m too afraid
Mother will find out, but just know that I’m safe. I suppose I should tell you
that I’m not alone. Joshua is with me. Actually, Joshua is the reason I was
able to escape that horrible place.
I hated it there, Liv. The
girls were snobby and hateful and I had no one to even call a friend. My heart
ached to be home, even if it meant never seeing Joshua again. I missed everyone
so badly, but I knew no matter what I said or how I pleaded, Mother would never
let me come back. You and I both know how she can be once she’s made up her
mind. I thought all hope was lost, but Liv, it wasn’t. Joshua saved me!
He scraped enough money
together to book passage on a small steamer and sailed to England. I had no
idea until the day he showed up at the school. Imagine my surprise when I saw
him standing behind that huge iron gate! I was happier than I can describe to
you in this letter. I knew if he was caught it would be terrible for him, so we
made plans to meet late that night after everyone had gone to sleep. When it
was time, I sneaked out of the dorm, my heart pounding with every footstep, but
it was easier than I thought. I climbed over the gate and into Joshua’s arms
and then we ran and ran.
Please be happy for me, Liv. I
know Mother may never forgive me, and I am sorry for causing her so much pain,
but Joshua and I are together and I’m not sorry for that. It is here that I
will stop and tell you that we’re married. I am Mrs. Joshua Harris now. Can you
imagine that? Me, a married woman like you? Your little sister has finally
grown up. I’m happier than I ever thought possible.
I don’t know when I’ll be able
to write again, but just know that I am safe and happy with the man I love. I
miss everyone so much, but I can’t come home right now. Mother probably won’t
see me even if I did. I hope someday she can accept Joshua and our marriage,
but until that day all I can do is pray for it. I send all my love to you and
the rest of the family. Please tell them that I am well and taken care of.
Kisses and hugs,
Your sister,
Emma Barlow Harris
Olivia scanned the letter again
and then laid it aside. She couldn’t believe it. Emma was married. She had no
doubt that she was happy…how could she not be? She was in love and was
cherished beyond everything. She tried not to resent her sister’s newfound
happiness, but in a way she did. It wasn’t fair. She craved that kind of love
and happiness, only she didn’t have it and probably never would. Instead, she
thought bitterly, she had been lied to and used for gain by the man she called
her husband. The thought nearly made her retch.
Slowly, she folded the letter
back and slid it in the envelope. She tucked it underneath her pillow until she
could put it in a safe place. Feeling restless, she punched the pillows several
times, trying to adjust her position, but nothing worked.
"Angelina!" she called.
"Angelina, come in here!"
Several minutes passed, but there
was no response. Frustrated at the girl’s failure to come, she threw the
blankets off of her. If she didn’t get out of that bed, she was going to go
mad.
"Angelina! Where are
you?" she called again. Still, there was no answer. Where was that blasted
girl? Throwing herself back on the pillows, she decided to try it herself. She
only wanted to sit in the chair for a while, so tired was she of being in that
bed.
Slowly, she edged herself to the
side, taking care to not jostle her leg too much. She lifted it, which wasn’t
easy with the heavy plaster that surrounded it. She reached for the chair that
Marietta had sat in and pulled it as close as she could. Holding onto the arms,
she scooted herself over to it. For a moment, she was half on the chair and
half on the bed when suddenly the chair began to slide away from her. She
screamed and gripped the arms, trying to keep it in place. It stopped, and for
a frozen moment, her torso was hanging in the air. Her breathing was frantic as
she held on as hard as she could.
"Help me! Please, someone
help me!" she screamed in her panic and fear. She held onto the arms of
the chair, too afraid to let go. She screamed and screamed, her voice becoming
raw while her arms began to shake. The door burst open and Cal ran in with
McBride behind him.
"Good God!" he
exclaimed, and rushed over to her. He picked her up and kicked the chair back,
holding her against him. "Olivia! Oh, God, I heard you screaming. Are you
all right, darling?" He held her tightly, kissing around her face.
Olivia was too far gone to hear
him. She was screaming and screaming, lost in her fear. "I couldn’t stop!
I couldn’t stop!" she cried over and over again. "Please, make it
stop!"
"What?" Cal asked
frantically. "What are you talking about?"
"The stairs!" she
cried, pushing back from him. "I see the stairs! No! No!" She
wrestled against him. She threw her head back and saw him through her tears.
"No!" She shook her head wildly as the memory of that night came back
to her. She shoved away from him, falling back on the bed in the process. She
screamed again as a hot, roaring pain shot up her leg.
Cal just stood there, frozen in
shock at her outburst. He covered his mouth and stepped back, nearly stumbling
over the chair he had just kicked.
"Mr. Hockley!" McBride
grabbed him by the arm. "You’ve got to do something. She’s your wife, for
God’s sake!"
"I…I…" He shook his
head. "She’s not in her right mind," he croaked.
McBride looked at him with
disgust and released his hold on Cal’s arm. He headed for the bed and lifted
her up.
"Olivia, listen to me.
Listen to my voice," he said firmly. He cupped her face and looked into
her eyes. "Listen to me. I need for you to calm down. Do you hear me? I
need for you to calm down."
She tried to focus on his face
and saw that it was McBride. She reached up and grabbed his arms, her screams
subsiding. "It hurts," she said through her tears. "It
hurts."
"I know it does. But listen
to me. Listen to my voice, focus on what I’m saying. I’m going to lay you back
in the bed, okay?"
She shook her head with tears
still streaming down her face. He lifted her and gently scooted her back up on
the pillows. She never let go of his arms through it all, holding onto him for
dear life. After doing this, he adjusted her leg, propping pillows underneath
it, and put the covers back over her.
He mixed her a glass of water
with one of the packets of laudanum the doctor had left for her and coaxed her
into drinking it. Finally, her tears subsided and she began to relax. She felt
him move away from her and she grabbed his hand.
"Don’t," she pleaded
thickly, the medicine already taking effect on her. "Please don’t leave
me. I don’t want to be alone."
He hesitated, looking down at her
as if he were unsure of what to do.
"Please," she whispered
again. He sighed and slightly shook his head.
"You’re not alone, Olivia.
Don’t be afraid," he said, squeezing her hand. "I won’t go
anywhere."
Satisfied with his answer, she
relaxed. The laudanum was doing its job and she began to feel as if she were
floating. Her lids became heavy and the pain was subsiding. From the back of
McBride, she saw Cal come up and stand behind him. She saw the scowl of anger
on his face. It wasn’t directed at her, but at McBride.
She shook her head, afraid of
what Cal would do, but she couldn’t say anything. Her tongue felt thick in her
mouth and her lids became even heavier. She gripped McBride’s hand for as long
as she could before she slipped into unconsciousness.