OLIVIA
Chapter Four
The day of the wedding had
finally arrived. After weeks and months of preparation, everything was planned
down to the smallest detail. It was March and the weather was cooperating
beautifully. The winter, though not a particularly hard one, had finally released
its hold and was now giving them warmer days.
Olivia stood at the window of her
room, feeling melancholy about the changes in her life. After this day, she
could no longer call this her room. This was the room of her childhood, the
room where she grew up, the room where she dreamed of her wedding day. Now, it
was here and only a few hours away.
If only…
She sighed and rested her head
against the cool glass. The feeling of trepidation that she had been
experiencing had only increased the closer the day of the wedding approached.
She didn’t want to feel these things, but they were inside of her nonetheless.
She loved Cal, or at least she thought she did.
As much as Olivia tried to deny
it to herself, it bothered her that Cal had never once said the words "I
love you." It was always, "I care for you" or "You will
make a fine wife, Olivia. We will be the envy of everyone." She wanted to
believe that Cal loved her, so she pushed aside the doubts in her mind. She
tried talking to her mother about it, but her mother assured her that it was
normal to have these feelings. Then she told her, much to Olivia’s surprise,
that she didn’t really fall in love with her father until after their marriage.
And then there was Rose.
Olivia felt her presence in
almost every aspect of the relationship she had with Cal. She always felt as if
she were being compared to her and never quite measured up. She had heard
rumors, of course, but she couldn’t be sure of how much of it was true and how
much was just the imagination of people who loved to talk about such things.
She had heard at one point that
Rose was forced into her engagement to Cal by her mother. It brought to mind
the conversation she had overheard between Rose and her mother and wondered if
that was why Rose was so upset that night.
Then she had heard of some
disturbing things about the night the Titanic sank. There were the rumors of
Rose and some young man and of Cal acting most unscrupulously to secure his
place in a boat. Of course, she didn’t know if any of it was true, so she chose
not to believe it without some sort of proof.
She wished these doubts that were
hanging over her head would just disappear. This was her wedding day; it was
supposed to be the happiest day of her life.
The door to her room burst open
just then and Emma came running in, smiling and out of breath.
"Liv, you should see the
fountain they’ve put in the garden! It’s the grandest thing I’ve ever seen.
Mother is there now, overseeing everything. This is going to be the most
beautiful wedding anyone has ever had."
Olivia smiled at her sister’s
enthusiasm and wished that she could feel excited as well. She walked over and
sat on the bench at the foot of her bed and motioned her sister over to her.
"Emma, come and sit with me for a moment."
"But shouldn’t you be
getting ready?" Emma asked, clearly confused at her sister’s demeanor.
"Mother and Angelina will be
here to help me anytime now. First, I want to talk with you about
something."
"All right," Emma
answered, and sat down beside Olivia.
"What do you think of Cal? I
mean, now that you’ve really gotten to know him."
Emma frowned at the question.
"I guess he’s all right for a grown-up. He’s a bit stuffy for my taste,
but then, I’m not the one marrying him."
"A bit stuffy? Is that
all?" Olivia questioned.
"Well…" Emma tilted her
head thoughtfully. "He gave me five whole dollars last week to walk his
horse back to the stable after you two came back from your ride. I guess that
was nice enough."
Olivia smiled and brushed Emma’s
long blond hair over her shoulder. "Yes, that was nice of him."
Emma turned to face Olivia and
stared at her. "Liv, is something wrong?"
Olivia smiled even brighter to
deter her sister’s keen observation. "Of course not, silly. I’m just a
little jittery and wanted to talk to calm my nerves. A girl’s wedding day is
the happiest day of her life."
Emma’s eyes filled with small
tears and then she leaned over and hugged her. "I’m going to miss you,
Liv. It won’t be the same with you gone."
Olivia hugged her sister tightly
and patted her back. "I won’t be that far away and I’ll come and visit all
of the time and you can come and visit me, too. You’ll see. It will be as if we
were never apart."
"But it won’t be the same.
Who am I going to sneak off to the pond with in the summer and go swimming when
we’re not supposed to? Who’s going to sneak into the kitchen with me and steal
Melba’s sweetcakes when she thinks she’s hid them from us? I’ll be all alone
with no one around to do anything with."
"That’s not true, darling. I
know I can’t do all of those things with you anymore, but we’ll do different
things now. More grown-up things. You’ll soon be fifteen, and it will be time
for you to learn what it means to be a young lady."
Their mother and her maid,
Angelina, walked in at that time and looked upon the scene with concern.
"What’s going on? What’s
happened?" Constance stopped to look down at them.
"Nothing, Mother. We were
just talking before time to get ready. Everything is fine, isn’t it, Em?"
Olivia nodded reassuringly to her sister.
Emma quickly wiped the tears from
her eyes and stood. "Yes, Mother. Everything is fine. I’m going to see if
Melba needs for me to help her."
"Don’t bother Melba. She’s
in a tizzy as it is. It’s time for you to be getting ready as well. Go find
Grace and have her start helping you."
"Yes, Mother," Emma
answered, and left the room.
Constance turned to Olivia and
smiled brightly. "Now, Olivia, shall we start with your hair? I was
thinking of the lovely way you wore it at the Christmas ball. What do you
think?"
"I don’t want to do my hair
yet, Mother. I want Angelina to leave so that I can talk with you in private.
It’s very important," Olivia said as she stood.
"What are you talking about,
Olivia?" Constance’s eyes widened slightly.
"It’s about my needing to discuss
with you some very important things, and I won’t get married until I do. It’s
that simple, Mother. It’s just that simple."