OLIVIA
Chapter Eight
The next few months passed so
quickly that Olivia felt as if somehow time had sped up. Once they reached the
coast of Britain, they traveled to London, where they stayed for over a month before
moving on to Paris and finally to Toulon, where they boarded the steamer,
Marguerite, that took them back to New York. It was an exhausting time and
Olivia was relieved when they finally arrived at their home in Philadelphia.
It was during this time that she
suspected she was indeed pregnant. It was as if Cal had willed the conception
by his prophetic words, "I always get what I want." The first thing
she did once they arrived home was to have a doctor confirm her condition,
which he did without hesitation.
Olivia didn’t know whether to be
joyful or sad about the situation. She wanted children, but she had hoped to
have a little time to settle into married life. Cal, on the other hand, seemed
extremely pleased with the turn of events, as were their parents, who were
thrilled to find out that they were going to be grandparents. Immediately,
plans for a nursery were set in motion by Elizabeth Hockley, Cal’s mother.
Olivia and Cal had only been home
a week when he announced his plans to throw a lavish party to celebrate their
homecoming and impending arrival. Olivia wanted to tell him that she wasn’t
really up for an event of that magnitude, but she had learned not to come
against him in any fashion, lest she set off his temper. She was especially
unhappy about it when he left most of the planning of the party up to her.
"You are the lady of the
manor and it’s up to you take care of the details," he told her with his
usual coolness. "This party will be held under great scrutiny and it will
establish our place as the most fashionable couple in Philadelphia."
"Yes, Cal," she
answered automatically, but inside she was seething. She didn’t care about any
of that now. She only wanted to settle into her home and find her place. She
hadn’t even had time to get to know the servants. How was she expected to plan
such an event when she didn’t even know her way around her own home yet?
The next day, she visited her
parents and her sister. She finally was able to get her mother alone to talk to
her about Cal’s plans.
"What am I going to do,
Mother? I’m not sure I can do what Cal wants me to do with this party."
"Of course you can,
darling," Constance said breezily. "I have overseen many a successful
party. I will help as much as I can. You’ll see; everything will be just fine."
"I don’t why Cal is
insisting on doing this. I’m just not feeling well right now and a party is the
last thing I need," Olivia lamented.
"Nonsense." Constance
stood and walked over to a large vase of fresh cut roses and began rearranging
them. "I think this is a perfect time for such an event. Mr. Hockley knows
how important it is to keep up appearances. Everyone will want to see you and
congratulate you on the baby. Really, Olivia, I thought you would understand
how imperative it is to do these kinds of things."
Somehow, Olivia knew her mother
would side with Cal. It seemed whatever he said or did was the perfect thing in
her parents’ eyes. Her feelings or concerns never seemed to be as important
anymore.
"You haven’t been vexing Mr.
Hockley with your pouting about this party, have you?" Constance asked,
turning a keen eye onto Olivia. "He has enough to think about without you
adding to his worries."
Irritation spread through her at
her mother’s words. "No, Mother, I haven’t been vexing my husband!" she
snapped impatiently. "I have been the perfect little wife, doing all of
the right things, even when I don’t think it’s the right thing. I’m trying very
hard to make my husband happy, even when it’s at the expense of my own
happiness."
Constance raised a
perfectly-shaped eyebrow as she stared at Olivia. "Well," she
breathed tautly. "You always did have a flair for the dramatic, Olivia. I
had hoped married life would calm it down considerably. I see, however, that
you haven’t learned to control your temper."
Olivia stood and grinned
sarcastically. "Oh, but I have, Mother. I have learned to control a great
many things. You see, my husband is the one with the temper, and I have to be
very careful not to do things that displease him. So, I listen and I obey like
a good little wife, just the way you would expect me to."
"Olivia." Constance
crossed her arms as she came to stand in front of her daughter. "I’m not
sure I care for your tone at the moment. You’re getting yourself upset and that
is not good for the baby. Perhaps you should go rest before Thomas takes you
home."
Sighing heavily, Olivia felt the
sting of tears forming in her eyes. "Don’t you understand, Mother? I’m
trying to tell you that I’m not as happy as I thought I would be. I keep trying
to make the best of things, but Cal is so demanding."
"I’m sure it’s not as
dreadful as you’re making it sound." Constance softened a bit.
"Marriage can be difficult and the fact that you’re with child only
compounds your emotions right now. Everything is still new and you’re still
learning your place as a wife. Give it some time, Olivia. It will get
better."
"I’m not sure about
that," Olivia countered, refusing to let the tears fall. "There’s
something else that I haven’t told you. It’s Rose DeWitt Bukater. Every day, it
seems that her presence is in the middle of our marriage. And then the other
night, he called out her name in his sleep. It was so tender at first, and then
it turned into anguish. It was almost as if he were in agony, as if he were
reliving some moment with her in his dreams. I was so upset that I moved to
another room for the rest of the night."
For once, Constance was at a loss
for words. She stared at Olivia in dismay.
"I try not to let it bother
me, but sometimes it does. I don’t even think Cal realizes he’s doing it."
Seeing the look on her mother’s face, she shook her head regretfully. "I
shouldn’t have told you. This is not your burden to bear. It’s mine."
"I’m not sure what to
say," she answered stiffly.
It was obvious her mother was not
prepared to hear such truth. Olivia decided to change her course of action.
"I’m sorry, Mother. I’m sure I’m just being oversensitive. I would
appreciate any help you can give me with the party."
"Yes. Yes, of course I
will." Constance grabbed the lifeline without hesitation.
"Well, I should be going
now. Cal will be expecting me." She leaned over and kissed her mother’s
cheek before leaving.
On the way home, she sat in the
back seat and contemplated her situation. She realized that she had no one to
confide in about the things that concerned her. She would have to carry her
burdens alone from now on. As the car motored up the long driveway and pulled
up in front of the manor, she took a deep breath and put on a smile.
This was her life, such as it
was, and she would make the best of it.
For she really had no choice but
to make it so.