Written by Kelsey Koch
Based on some situations originated by James Cameron.

You know it's kind of hard
To get onboard today
Mr. Dawson isn't first class
But he fakes it anyway
He may have eyes of blue
And he may have a style
And everything he lacks
Yeah—he'll get it in a while!

So don't debate, he's first rate
You know he really doesn't get lots of money, anyway
He's gonna try to live, and be with Rose
But he lives—no way! He lives—no way!
So if you don't rate him, just overcompensate him
At least you'll know you can always go on Wissota Lake
The world needs people like him
So do that brand new thing he does.

He needs some cool tunes
Not just any will be free
But they didn't have Danube
So he bought Nearer My God to Thee
Now cruising on his debris, he sees cold everywhere
But if he looks twice
He's gonna freeze off his derrière!

So don't debate, he's first rate
You know he really doesn't get lots of money, anyway
He's gonna try to live, and be with Rose
But he lives—no way! He lives—no way!
So if you don't rate him, just overcompensate him
At least you'll know you can always go on Wissota Lake
The world needs people like him
So do that brand new thing he does.

Now he's drawing a young Rose
He's getting it done
She asked for a portrait, but she got an adventure
Friends say he's trying too hard for her
And he's not that hip
But in his own mind
He's on the best trip.

So don't debate, he's first rate
You know he really doesn't get lots of money, anyway
He's gonna try to live, and be with Rose
But he lives—no way! He lives—no way!
So if you don't rate him, just overcompensate him
At least you'll know you can always go on Wissota Lake
The world needs people like he is
So do that brand new thing he does.

The world needs people like he is
The world needs people like he is
So let's get some more people like he is
So do that brand new thing he does.

Stories