ROSE GOES ON
Chapter Twelve
September 1, 1916
Over the months that followed her decision to
leave and strike out on her own, Rose contemplated where to go. At first, she
thought that she might stay in New York City, where things were familiar, and
where she and Christopher would be able to see the Calverts often.
After a few weeks, however, she realized how
awkward it would be for her to stay in the same city as John. They had been a
little uncomfortable with each other since his proposal, neither knowing quite
what to say to the other. The professional employer-employee boundaries had
been crossed, and there was no going back. To stay near to him would be
difficult for them both.
At last, Rose decided to make the separation
as complete as she could. Even after several years of putting aside her dreams
for others, she still wanted to try to become an actress. The best places to
pursue this goal were New York and Hollywood. After a great deal of thought and
agonizing over her decision, she decided to pull up stakes and move herself and
Christopher to California.
It was harder than Rose expected to tell the
girls that she was leaving. Mary was thrilled at the idea of knowing a real, live
movie star, making it easier for her to accept Rose’s leaving, but Nadia cried
inconsolably when told that her Aunt Rose was moving across the country,
leaving them behind. Rose felt guilty, but knew that it was for the best.
Christopher viewed the coming move as one of
the great adventures his mother had told him stories about. He rattled on about
all the fun things they could do and see, but he didn’t really understand that
Uncle John, Mary, and Nadia would not be coming. Rose knew that he would be upset
when he found out that it was just going to be the two of them, but she didn’t
know how to explain the change in a way that he would understand.
*****
Early in the morning on September 1, 1916,
the Calverts escorted the Dawsons to the train station. Rose had told John that
he didn’t have to escort them there--he was in the midst of moving to a new
home uptown, as well as getting Mary and Nadia enrolled in a school there--but
he insisted. The girls clung to her as they rode the El to the train station,
realizing now that Aunt Rose really was leaving, and it might be a long time
before they saw her again.
John had insisted that it wasn’t a problem to
escort them to the train station. Most of their belongings had been moved from
the old apartment, and Rose’s packing and leaving had almost completed the job.
Rose had looked at the Calverts’ new home, helping the girls to get comfortable
with their new living quarters and registering them at their new school. She
had seen them off on their first day there, Mary striding confidently into the
crowd, Nadia clinging to Rose’s hand as long as she could.
Mary had always been more confident than
Nadia, and now, with all the changes taking place, Nadia was more shy than
ever. The six-year-old was worried about moving, about going to school, and
about Rose leaving, and as the time for Rose to leave had drawn closer, she had
clung ever more tightly to her.
As the sounds of the train became audible,
all five of them knew that it was time to say good-bye. Even Christopher had
now realized that he and his mother were going somewhere alone, though he still
didn’t understand where or why.
Rose sat on a bench in the train station with
the others, her bags at her feet and Christopher in the lap. None of them moved
until the train pulled into the station, letting off some passengers and
letting others on. Though she knew that she was now following her dreams, Rose
would miss the Calverts. They had become her family over the years, just as
much as Christopher. Though she didn’t love John as a potential husband, she
did care for him and respect him. He was a good man, one of the best she had
known, and that was why she had rejected his offer of marriage in order to go
out on her own. She cared too much to hurt him, as she knew she would if she
married him for the wrong reasons. Mary and Nadia were like daughters to her,
but the time had come for her to move on.
As the passengers leaving the train thinned
out, Rose sighed, setting Christopher on the floor and picking up their bags.
She gave Christopher his little bag to carry, then picked up the rest herself,
carrying the bags with one hand and holding Christopher’s hand with the other.
She didn’t want him getting lost in the shuffle of the train station.
John, Mary, and Nadia walked beside them as
they made their way to the train. When they reached the boarding area, Mary
hugged Rose tightly, trying to hide her tears.
"Aunt Rose, are you really going to be a
movie star?" she asked.
"Well, I don’t know, Mary, but I’m going
to try. If I get to be a movie star, you’ll know all about it."
"I want to be an actress, too, when I
grow up. Write me letters about Hollywood, and send me movie magazines if you
get to be a star, okay?"
"I will, Mary. I’ll send you some
magazines even if I’m not a star."
Mary made a face. "They won’t be as good
if you’re not in them."
Rose couldn’t help but laugh. "Thank
you, Mary. I’ll do my best."
Mary turned her attention to Christopher,
patting him on the head like a puppy and saying good-bye to him. Christopher
looked annoyed, but it didn’t faze her in the least. Nadia took her sister’s
place, hugging Rose and crying.
"I don’t want you to go, Aunt
Rose!" she wailed. "Please stay. I’ll be good. I promise."
"You’re always a good girl, Nadia,"
Rose assured her, getting choked up herself at the girl’s pleading. "I
promise I’ll write, and come to visit if I can, but I need to go now. I’m
moving to California. Maybe sometime all of you can come out and visit
me."
Mary came over and hugged her sister. "Aunt
Rose is going to be a movie star. She’s going to be famous."
Nadia just cried more. "I don’t want her
to go. She’ll never come back, just like my mother went away and never came
back."
John picked the crying child up. "Nadia,
your mother didn’t leave you. Not on purpose. There was a horrible accident,
and she died. She would have stayed if she could have. Aunt Rose isn’t going to
die. She’s just going to move to California. You’ll see her again, and she’ll
write you letters and send you pictures and magazines."
Rose hadn’t realized that Nadia even
remembered her mother, but apparently she did. She had never given any
indication that she remembered anything before coming to the United States, but
perhaps the strain of Rose’s leaving had brought back the memories.
Tears in her eyes, Rose hugged Nadia,
promising that she would see her again. In that moment, she almost changed her
mind and decided to stay, but knew that she couldn’t. She had to make her own
way, live her own life. But she would always love the girls who had become like
daughters to her.
Rose took Nadia from John, hugging her one
last time. "You’ll be all right, Nadia," she told the girl, setting
her down and crouching down at eye-level. "You really will. I
promise."
Nadia tried to stop crying. "I know,
Aunt Rose. I’ll be okay. I still have Daddy and Mary and Allegro."
"And your Grandma. And I’m still going
to be around, just in a different part of the country. I’ll write to you as
often as I can, all right?"
"Okay." Nadia sniffed, wiping her
eyes on her sleeve. Rose had been trying to break her of that habit, but she
didn’t reprimand her this time. She just watched as Nadia hurried over to Mary,
hugging her sister.
Rose looked at John. "Well, I guess this
is it," she said, not sure what to say, now that she was leaving.
"Good-bye, John. I hope that things go well for you."
"Good-bye, Rose, and good luck. Be sure
to write us about whatever you’re doing. The girls will want to see your
movies, even if you only have a small part."
"Thank you. I’m going to do my
best."
"You always have." He hesitated a
moment, then went on. "But if things don’t work out, if you ever need to
start over, you can always come back here. You’ll be welcome."
"I know, John. Thank you." Setting
her bags down, she hugged him, surprising him by giving him a quick kiss on the
cheek. "Good-bye, John."
As the warning whistle sounded, Rose picked
up her bags and took Christopher by the hand. Looking back at the Calverts
once, she climbed onto the train, finding a seat beside a window. As the train
pulled out of the station, she waved to them, not stopping until they were out
of sight.