SEASONS OF LOVE
Chapter Two
Mother was crying with anger when she told me
the truth. For the first time since the sinking, my heart soared. I was
pregnant with Jack’s child, and through the baby, Jack would live on. I had a
reason to live. There was a purpose to my life. My mother ranted on, while my
head filled with images of how happy my child and I would be. How foolish that
was. Reality soon followed.
"You stupid girl!" shouted Mother.
"What do you think will happen now? Do you think Cal will marry you? Do
you think you can keep the child and we can all play happy families?"
Then I realized she was right. What would
happen to the child and me now? Mother made it clear an unmarried mother was
not welcome in this house.
I was afraid then. There was nowhere I could
go, no one I could turn to. I would be helpless, alone. The nightmares I had
when I finally fell asleep now got worse. Not only did I lose Jack, I also lost
our child.
*****
The following day, Cal came to see Mother and
that chapter of my life ended.
*****
Mother invited Father Macintyre over for tea.
He was a family friend as well as a priest and I guess he was now the only one
Mother could turn to. Over a cup of tea and a slice of cake, she tearfully told
him of how I had got myself into trouble and Cal had called the engagement off.
Father Macintyre listened carefully and
patted Mother’s arm.
"Dear, oh dear Ruth. The problems our
children can cause us!" He smiled reassuringly as Ruth patted her eyes
with a handkerchief.
"I have known Rose since she was a babe
herself. But Ruth, have a little faith. Rose is not the first girl to get
herself into this sort of trouble and I may be able to help."
"You can?" Ruth stopped sniffing
and put her handkerchief down.
"We have a few choices. Firstly, she
could go away for seven or eight months on an extended holiday. With the trauma
of the sinking and the breaking of her engagement, a long break may just be the
thing she needs, if you follow me. Or there is another way. There are men out
there who have suffered the terrible loss of their wives and are struggling
alone with no one to care for their children or keep the house. These men are
in need of another wife but are often unable or too busy to find one. They turn
to the church for help and are often generous."
"But of what position are these
men?"
"My dear Ruth, be assured that only
someone of a, how should I say, better status be suitable for our Rose."
"How soon can you find someone?"
"Leave it with me Ruth. I have someone
in mind. I just have to make a few inquiries."
*****
True his word, Father Macintyre came back to
see Mother two days later.
"I have two candidates, a Matthew Moore
and an Andrew Calvert. Matthew is the more local of the two and I have taken
the liberty of inviting him over tomorrow at two."
"So soon?" asked Ruth, surprised.
"We have to get moving with this one,
Ruth. We do not have much time. Please have Rose join us. You can explain to
her what this is about."
*****
I was incensed.
"Marry someone I don’t know!" I
exploded. "As if matching me off to Cal wasn’t bad enough!"
"What are the choices, Rose? You are
pregnant; you are seventeen. If you were to marry, your child would have a name
and you would have a ring on your finger. There is no shame and no
humiliation."
"I will not do it."
"What are you going to do then, Rose? Do
you want to go to St. Claire’s and have the baby in secret?"
"It is a preferable option to marrying a
complete stranger."
"Just meet the man and give him a
chance. You may actually like him."
But I was almost determined to hate Matthew
Moore before I had even met him. He was led into the parlor by Father Macintyre
and introduced. He was a small man, in his late twenties, early thirties with
short ginger hair. He politely shook my hand and took his seat. I decided he
looked like a weasel, not to be trusted and I certainly didn’t want anything to
do with him.
I listened to the absurdities of the
conversation with increasing annoyance.
"Well, Rose, is there anything you would
like to ask Matthew?" Father Macintyre asked.
I stared sulkily ahead and said nothing.
Mother, sensing my rudeness, turned to
Matthew and asked him to tell something about himself.
"Well Ma’am, I am twenty-five. I have
three children, Mark and Timothy and little Katy and my Agnes has been gone
these last five months."
"Mr. Moore, your wife has been dead but
five months and you want a new wife?" I asked incredulously. It was the
first thing that came to mind and I was determined to prove that I would not be
suitable. There were embarrassed looks between all of them. Matthew Moore
squirmed in his seat and Mother looked as though she would faint.
"Rose, go to your room now," she
said quietly.
"With pleasure." I smiled and left
the room, confident I had scared Matthew Moore away, as was my plan.
The plan worked. Matthew Moore explained
nervously that he was looking for someone more quiet and obedient and I would
not do. Hurriedly he left.
Mother and Father Macintyre both agreed that
avoid any further problems, Mother and I would go to Andrew Calvert’s to meet
him and Father Macintyre asked that Mother try and talk some sense into me.
*****
"Rose, how dare you behave like that to
guest in this house?"
"Oh, Mother, don’t go on. He wasn’t a
guest. This was like some dreadful horse show and I was on parade."
Ruth snapped and grabbed me by the shoulders.
"You stupid girl. You risked everything
we had for a few moments with steerage garbage."
"I loved Jack. We were going to leave
together when the Titanic docked."
For the first time, I mentioned our plans. I
thought Mother would realize that we were serious. But she laughed at me.
"I am sure you were. You are stupid,
Rose. You lose your head to a boy you have known for two days. Do you really
think you have left together when Titanic docked? Do you think you could have
left all this for a seedy apartment in the dirty end of town? Do you really
think he would have wanted you after he had his way with you? If you think that
you really are stupid."
"Jack loved me." I began to sob.
"Did he, Rose? Did he ever tell you
that?"
My eyes locked with Mother’s and in those few
seconds Mother knew the one thing that haunted me. Jack Dawson had not told me
he loved me.
"Do you want to keep this child,
Rose?" she asked.
"Yes, more than anything," I
whispered.
"If you go to St. Claire’s, you will not
be allowed to keep the baby. After it is born, it will be handed over to new
parents and you will return here. If you want to keep the baby, the only way is
to marry Andrew Calvert. He knows about your condition and is prepared to
accept the child as his own. The choice is yours, Rose. You have to decide what
you want to do."