SEASONS OF LOVE
Chapter Four
We returned home that afternoon, to enable me
to pack, organize a dress, and get my head round my impending wedding. In one
way it seemed like a dream, in another it was an awful nightmare. I still
missed Jack terribly and I can’t believe now how I so willingly went along with
things, quietly and without fuss. I suppose I was still in shock and the only
thing I cared about was keeping the baby, no matter what the price. After all,
I wasn’t marrying Cal.
Mother was fussing, panicking, and bullying
over my packing. I wanted a few of my clothes, Mother insisted I had jewelry,
shoes, hats, and accessories. In fact, the majority of my things.
"I don’t want you to go with
nothing," she explained, which seemed strange, as she had rid herself of
the problem.
For a wedding dress we chose a simple cream
lace dress with a flattering empire waist, not that there was anything to see.
Cream, as I was not allowed to wear white. I was reminded constantly of that.
Mother chose the dress really. I just went along with it.
Thursday we left quietly. We were staying in
a hotel overnight, which I later learned had been paid for by Andrew Calvert.
Mother had no intention of paying for anything at all. Dinner that evening went
on his bill. He also paid for the flowers, a simple corsage for Mother and a
small discreet bouquet for me that were delivered to our room on Friday
morning. Mother fixed my hair herself to avoid paying for a dresser.
I don’t really remember what I felt that
morning. I don’t remember being scared though, like I would have if it were Cal
I was marrying. In my mind, I thought of Jack. How I wanted Jack to appear at
the door of the Church and save us, to claim me for his bride and his child as
his own. But as we walked the short distance to the church, I knew it wasn’t
going to happen. The best I could hope for was that Andrew Calvert would be
good to me until the day came when I had enough savings to leave.
He arrived at eleven AM prompt, in a smart
black suit and matching buttonhole. He looked nervous too but smiled and asked
if I was all right. He also asked me, in a low voice if I was sure I wanted to
do this. I numbly replied ‘yes’ and thought of the money hidden in my drawer.
We went and stood before Father Riley, a sad,
small ensemble of Mother, Father Macintyre, Andrew and myself and two ladies
who cleaned the church and arranged flowers who could not resist watching a
wedding. Watch a strange sight we must have made.
Our vows were made and that was it. I was
Mrs. Andrew Calvert.
Mother and Father Macintyre congratulated us,
and then Mother asked that she might have a few moments with me alone.
We went to a room at the side. I remember she
dabbed her red eyes with a delicate handkerchief and took a moment to compose
herself. I looked at the small, shiny gold band on my finger.
"Well, Rose, this is it, you are married
now." She sniffed again. "I am just glad your father wasn’t alive to
see this, it would have broke his heart. But I have done the best I could for
you; I have got a ring on your finger and a name for the baby. I can do no
more. I just hope he realized what a prominent family he has married into. In
any other circumstances…oh, it doesn’t matter, Rose."
What did she want me to say? I played with
the ring on my finger. It was a little too big.
"I hope you can make Andrew happy and
that all goes well for you both." She sniffed again.
"You’ll see me in a few weeks
surely?" I asked. But she shook her head.
"I have to go and face the gossips and
make up some story about you having a whirlwind romance. You cannot come back
to Philadelphia showing your condition, or with a baby. I have told Andrew that
he must not let you visit."
"But Mother!" I protested.
She put up her hand. "You do not need me
any more. You have a new family."
I had heard enough. "Thank you,
Mother," I mumbled and went back to join my husband.
We all went to the hotel to collect our
luggage. Mother was leaving on a later train. Andrew loaded my things onto the
car and we set off for my new home. For the first time, I was alone with a
complete stranger who was my husband.