SEASONS OF LOVE
Chapter Six
What happened to the girl who wanted to ride
horses in the surf like a man and head out for the horizon? She wouldn’t have
recognized me now.
Some days I didn’t recognize myself.
Appearances were not important to Andrew, and I was often to be found with
apron on and hair in braids, covered in paint and on the floor with the
children, or romping round the garden or stream looking for frogs. Away from
the starched dresses, corsets, and hairdressing. It was almost like an act of
defiance against Cal and Mother. I knew this was what Jack would have liked to
have seen me doing. Having fun.
And having fun is what I was doing. The
younger children were so vibrant, so energetic. We walked and had picnics. This
was a fine environment for my John Robert. Adoring sisters and brothers. But as
I watched the blond head amongst the dark ones, I was reminded all the time of
the man I had lost.
I did not feel the hard, bitter sting of
grief as much now. Jack was gone and I had John Robert. Andrew left me much to
myself and I was so thankful of the way things turned out. I didn’t want to run
away anymore. I started to feel like I was in a family. I hoped Jack saw all of
this and understood what I was doing and why. Ultimately, it was for the
benefit of his son. He was never Andrew’s. I always thought of him as mine.
By my twenty-first birthday I was pregnant
again and we were blessed with a daughter. This time I chose her name, Eleanor.
She was more red than blonde and marked my two children clearly from the rest.
The children had grown and were beginning to blossom into young people. The
only thorn in my side was Andrew Junior. He seemed to go out of his way to
annoy me and always had his father on his side. Andrew seemed oblivious to
anything Andrew Junior did. He was eighteen now and studying business, his head
full of all kinds of nonsense.
It was after my birthday, whilst changing
Ellie, that he came right out with whatever he had mulled over for years and
asked me why I had married his father. It couldn’t have been for love, he said.
"Ask your father," I replied,
without giving him eye contact.
"You are only a few years older than me!
What on earth did you see in him?"
I carried on, trying to ignore him.
"I can see what he saw in you," he
carried on.
Flushed with anger and nervousness at his
bold comment I spun round.
"Andrew, I am your stepmother and you
will speak to me with respect. I will ignore that last comment and I will not inform
your father of this conversation, this time. Your father and I are in love and
we have two children to prove it. What on earth is your problem?"
He just smiled and replied, "I can do my
math, Rose," and walked away.
I was glad when Andrew Junior went back to
college and out of the house. The atmosphere lifted, but Andrew never seemed to
notice or remark on it.
And so the next couple of years passed, with
their ups and downs, as any other family had.
But ours was not a normal family, and a visit
out of the blue changed things again for me.