THE SHIP OF DREAMS
Chapter Twenty

Meanwhile, Rose finally managed to open the door to the bedroom she and Coddie Anna shared, noticing that the child had fallen sound asleep on her bed. Sighing softly, Rose made her way over to her closet, quietly opening it and pulling out her dinner gown. She reached for Coddie Anna’s, fingering the soft material, and chewed on her lower lip. Part of her wanted to wake Coddie Anna up and insist she stop this nonsense, and another part of her wanted to let her daughter be. She will come around when she is ready. A voice spoke inside of her head as she shut the closet, leaving Coddie’s dress inside.

After slipping into the gown, Rose walked to the side of the bed, smoothing Coddie Anna’s auburn hair away from her face. She murmured something inaudible, turning over and burying her face in the pillow. With that, Rose opened the door to the stateroom again and stepped outside into the hall just as her mother was exiting her own stateroom. "Where is Coddie Anna?" Ruth asked, her green eyes filled with concern, just as Cal came towards them, adjusting the jacket of his tuxedo.

"She’s—not feeling well tonight, so she’s going to miss dinner," Rose replied, getting an odd look from Cal in response.

"Really? Should we send for the doctor?"

Rose cocked her head to one side, giving him a warning look, and Cal nodded. "All right…then I’ll bring her something in case she feels hungry later. But we’d better go now before we end up losing our seats." He held his arm out for Rose to take, and though she hesitated for a moment, she accepted it all the same.

The first class dining room was crowded, as usual, though Rose did not feel the least bit hungry. They took their usual seats, surrounded by their usual crowd, though it was odd to see one chair empty. Rose fiddled with the napkin on her lap as the waiter came around asking for their appetizer orders, and she thanked him when he poured her first glass of wine.

Before long, the chatter began, and Rose found herself staring off into space, only going through the motions as the different courses were served. "Are you going to eat anything at all, sweetpea?" Cal asked, pointing to his fiancée’s still full plate. Rose looked at him, chewing on her lower lip, and finally glanced at her mother.

"In all honesty," she admitted, "I do not think I am feeling all that well either. I may skip supper tonight and take in a bit of fresh air."

"Rose!" Ruth gasped, watching her daughter stand, attracting the attention of everyone at the table.

"I’m terribly sorry," Rose apologized. "Please excuse me."

"Would you like me to join you?" Cal asked, trying to be as kind and friendly as possible, attempting to follow Coddie Anna’s directions from earlier that morning.

"No, no, I’ll be all right." She nodded respectfully before quickly making her way out of the room. Ruth turned to the rest of the group, her mouth hanging slightly open.

"I apologize. I do not understand what has gotten into her these days!"

Thomas Andrews smiled as he jotted down a couple more notes in his little pocket pad, and then stuck it inside of his jacket. "I am sure she will be fine. Do not worry so."

Rose, sighing with relief, finally got out onto the deck. She leaned against the wall of the ship, massaging her forehead and then gazing up at the slowly darkening sky. She had to see Jack, for he was the only person she felt comfortable around when things became too topsy-turvy. She walked quickly along the deck and hurried down the steps, just as Anastasia and Mac were heading out of the saloon after eating supper.

"Rose!" Mac exclaimed, startled by the first class woman’s sudden appearance. "Hello!" She looked at Anastasia, who appeared to be trying very hard not to burst into giggles. "I…we…weren’t expecting you at this hour. Shouldn’t you be eating dinner or…something?"

Rose smiled, nodding. "Yes, I ought to be, dear, though I’m afraid my appetite is not cooperating with me tonight. I am glad I ran into you…is your father still inside there?" She pointed towards the door of the saloon, and Mac turned to it.

"No. He is at the bow, actually…he wasn’t very hungry, either." She cleared her throat, scuffing her shoe on the wood. "But I’m quite certain he’d be very happy to see you."

Rose looked at Anastasia, whose lips were pursed together so tightly that they were turning white. "Thank you." She walked up the steps, and as soon as she was out of earshot, Mac gave Anastasia a nudge on the shoulder, just as she started giggling softly into her hands.

"I’m sorry!" Anastasia hissed. "It’s just so funny how they keep meeting like that!"

Mac smirked. "I know. And I," she whispered, "have an idea."

Anastasia’s face fell as she noticed the familiar mischievous sparkle in her best friend’s eyes. "Oh, no…" She started to walk back into the saloon, but Mac grabbed her by the back of her dress collar and pulled her towards her again.

"Don’t tell me Anastasia Nicholaivna is backing out of an adventure!" she teased, as softly as she could.

Anastasia started to protest again, but finally groaned and agreed to at least listen to the idea. "Fine," she grumbled. "What is your so-called plan?"

Mac motioned for Anastasia to follow her towards the stairs leading to the deck, insisting that they keep out of sight. "If we want this to work out," she explained, "we’ll have to keep tabs on just how close they’re getting, and if they start to drift, we’ll know exactly when to give them both a little push."

"You really are an evil genius, and I love it!" Anastasia cackled, secretly pleased she’d managed to corrupt another companion into her realm of mischief. Mac bowed low, and just at that moment, they realized they were close to the bow. Operation matchmaker was then underway.

*****

Just as the girls had said, Jack stood at the bow. He leaned his arms on the metal rail, gazing down at the ocean below. He turned his head to cough hard into his fist as a gust of cool ocean breeze blew past him, and gave a small shiver. He sighed softly, knowing he was getting sick again, and it infuriated him. Why could he not get properly well? He had no idea how long he had stood there, staring off into space, but he was suddenly brought back to earth when a familiar voice called his name.

"Jack?"

He jumped, looking over his shoulder, and saw Rose standing a few inches behind him. She wore a midnight blue gown with a white blouse tied at the waist by a blue sash. A crocheted shawl hung over her shoulders and her red hair was partially pulled into a clip. She was smiling, waiting for him to say something.

"Rose. I swear, you must have a special sensor or something to detect where I am. This is strange, how we keep meeting up without notice." he laughed, stepping down and walking over to her. For a moment, they stood looking at each other, until Rose glanced down at her feet.

"I’m sorry. I don’t mean to…" She started to apologize, but Jack touched her lips.

"Shh. I’m glad you’re here…I have something I want to show you."

She cocked her head to the side as she accepted the hand he offered. "Come over to the rail, Rose."

She hesitated. "You aren’t going to throw me overboard, are you?" she teased.

He only smiled. "Of course not. Well, not unless you wanted me to…"

Rose grinned, whacking him on the shoulder gently. "Very funny."

He moved her in front of him. "Now step up," he encouraged, "but close your eyes before you do so."

She did as she was told, her heart racing as she clung to the rail for dear life. He urged her up another step before stepping up himself. He wrapped his arms around her waist, leaning his chin on her shoulder. "All right…open your eyes."

What he did not realize was that Anastasia and Mac had indeed secretly followed him and dashed quietly over to a bench. They crouched down behind it, peering through the openings in the wood.

"I’m flying!" Rose gasped, opening her eyes to find that she saw nothing but the ocean and horizon before her. It was so breathtakingly beautiful, with the bright orange and yellow sunset overhead. Jack hesitated for a moment before kissing her neck gently, taking her hands in his. She craned her neck, gazing into his eyes, a smile creeping over her face. She knew it took a lot of bravery for Jack to have done this, and she kissed him back, soothing his cheek. Despite the cool breeze she noticed, he felt warm, but not overly so.

Anastasia sighed dreamily, leaning her chin in her palm. Jack was so very romantic.

Soon, Jack and Rose continued to kiss, eventually passionately. They only broke when Jack’s breath snagged in his chest, forcing him into yet another fit of heavy coughing. Rose helped him down from the rail, bringing him over to the same bench Mac and Anastasia were hiding behind. The girls crouched down as low as they could, until they were practically curled into balls. Rose rubbed Jack’s back, her brow knit with concern.

"Take a deep breath, Jack. I should fetch you some water." She started to stand, but he firmly held her down.

"N-no," he gasped. "I’m…I’m all right."

Rose frowned, not sure she believed him. Jack finally stopped coughing long enough to take a breath, and swallowed. "You sound worse," Rose told him. "I do not think you’re all right."

He gave her a pleading look. "Rose, I promise if I need help, I will ask for it. I do not need someone keeping a twenty-four hour watch."

Rose looked taken aback, and she folded her hands on her lap. Jack rubbed his forehead after a bit, and sighed. "I’m sorry, Rose. I didn’t mean to attack you. I have been ill before, and it seems as if everyone does nothing but worry about me."

Rose glanced at him. "Well, I…I do worry. I can’t help it." She ran her fingers through his hair, gazing into his blue eyes.

"Why are you here, Rose?" Jack whispered. "Rose, what do you see in me?"

Rose blinked. "Oh, Jack…Jack…" She wet her lips, trying hard not to cry. He stared at her for a moment as the words finally forced their way out amidst a flood of unstoppable tears.

"I can’t do it, Jack…I can’t be part of their world anymore. I have tried so damn hard to love him…so hard…but then you came into my life, and my eyes are finally seeing Cal for who he is. God, Jack…I love you…I need you. I can’t keep pretending I’m strong anymore when I’m not…"

Jack pulled her close, letting her cry into his coat, and smoothed her red curls tenderly with his fingertips. He said nothing for a moment, just holding her, feeling slightly overwhelmed by the current situation.

"Rose." He finally spoke, once her sobs had subsided. "You have been so very strong through all of this. I am sure many other women would have snapped a lot faster than you have. Though I should be sorry for coming in and turning your life upside down so abruptly."

Rose lifted her head, revealing tearstained cheeks and red-rimmed eyes. "Jack, you saved my life that night. You convinced me that my life was worth living. I can never thank you enough for that."

Jack kissed her forehead, leaning against her. "No thank you’s are necessary. I…" He paused, swallowing past his sore throat. "I have loved you," he continued, "from the moment I set my eyes on you."

Mac started to cry out in delight, when Anastasia clamped a hand over her mouth. When she let go, Mac mouthed, He said the words! Oh, I’m so happy for him! Mac knew her father had been dreading to say that particular phrase for a long time, since her mother’s death, mainly from the fear of being hurt again.

"Jack…I love you. I love you so much." She touched his face before leaning in to kiss his lips. A moment into the kiss, Jack had to break it, and turned away, coughing.

"Excuse me," he gulped, once he was able to take a breath. Rose rubbed his back, shaking her head.

"Please, sweetie…let me bring you to my stateroom for a little while to warm up." She stood, helping him to his feet.

"Rose, that is not really necessary…" Jack started to protest, but she took his arm and eased him to his feet.

"Mr. Dawson, I do insist. Please humor me, if just this once." She raised her eyes, and at last he sighed, nodding.

"All right."

Mac’s mouth dropped…her father rarely listened to anyone when it came to the concept of his health, and he was ridiculously stubborn. The fact that Rose had convinced him to go inside was extraordinary. "Good! Here, lean on me." Rose wrapped one of Jack’s arms around her shoulders and aided him in walking towards the door, smiling. The girls immediately hopped up when they were out of eye and earshot, and dashed through the door as quietly as they could after their elders.

"Rose, my only concern about this is…what if Cal should walk in when I’m there? Or Coddie Anna? The last thing I want to do is to start more trouble with your daughter…" He bit his lip, and Rose looked down at her feet.

"Jack…Cal won’t leave the smoking room for at least another two hours, and Coddie Anna is sleeping. As long as we’re quiet, nothing will happen, I promise. And Jack, do not even think you were the cause of her outburst earlier today. It was not your fault."

Mac and Anastasia tiptoed behind them, ducking behind corners when they thought they might be seen, and though it was quite a dangerous adventure. Anastasia was actually starting to enjoy herself.

At last, they reached the private promenade, and then Rose brought him into her stateroom. Mac held her breath as they walked through the door.

"Now what?" Anastasia whispered. "We can’t go in there!" Click. The door locked. "Oh, no." She turned to Mac. "Let’s go back before we get caught!"

Mac snorted. "Are you backing out?"

"Yes. For once, I am."

"Go on, then. But I’m going to stay. I think I have an idea."

Anastasia pouted, not liking the fact that Mac was manipulating her. Usually, it was the other way around.

"What if her fiancé sees us? We could get arrested for trespassing!"

Mac thought for a moment. "We could say we’re room service," she suggested.

Anastasia rolled her eyes. "Dressed like this?"

Mac scowled. "I said you could go if you wanted. I really don’t care. But I’ve done plenty of things you wanted that could have gotten us into serious trouble, and I never went back."

Anastasia was at a loss for words. She stood gaping, her cheeks growing slightly pink. "I hate it when you do that!" she snapped.

Mac shrugged, trying to think of how to get inside the stateroom.

Inside, Rose allowed Jack to sit, and got him a glass of water before joining him. He drank most of it in one gulp, grateful as it soothed his raw throat.

"Better?" Rose asked, once he finished, and she took the glass from him.

"Yes, thank you."

She looked up at the ceiling, feeling slightly awkward.

"Jack," she added, causing him to look at her with tired eyes. "I…remember you telling me about the women you drew naked in Paris, and I’ve been thinking…"

Jack smiled softly. "About what?"

Rose got up, went over to a green safe in the corner, and began to unlock it. When the door opened, she pulled out the navy blue velvet box and brought it back to the sitting room. "Cal gave this to me today." She opened it, revealing the Heart of the Ocean. The sight of the jewel made her stomach constrict, and Jack’s mouth fell as she picked it up, handing it to him.

"My God, Rose. Is it a sapphire?" It was very heavy between his fingers.

She shook her head. "It’s a diamond. A very rare diamond."

He whistled, wondering how anyone could afford such a thing, outside of royalty, that was. If this was what she was used to receiving, he wondered if she would ever consider him. Even with the rubles the Tsar had provided, he still would not be able to douse her in such splendor so frequently. Besides, she did not even know of this imperial connection. Still, here he was, sitting in her stateroom. She had come willingly to him a couple of times already, as well.

"Jack." Rose broke his train of thought, and he turned. "I…I want you to draw me like one of your French girls."

He nodded, his eyes fixing on the jewel again.

She glanced at him. "Wearing this." She pointed to it.

"All right," he replied.

A moment of silence passed between them, and Rose took a deep breath. "Wearing only this."

He nearly dropped the necklace, stunned. "Rose!"

Rose smiled. "I’m quite serious, Jack. I want a nude portrait. I want to…release myself, as you told me. I think I’m ready to do so."

Jack finally nodded, once the shock had started to wear off. "If that’s what you want," he whispered, and she hugged him.

"It is. Thank you, Jack." She kissed his cheek before taking the necklace back and putting it around her neck. "Sit here while I undress," she added, and Jack blinked.

"You want to do this now?" He looked around the room nervously, and Rose nodded.

"Jack, if I don’t allow you to draw me now, who knows how I’ll feel in the next day or so? Please. We’ll be all right."

He wet his lips. "Okay. Go on." He leaned against the back of the couch, pulling his sketchpad and pencils out from the large pocket inside of his overcoat. This was one feature of the jacket he liked, and used it often in the winter at the palace. He would carry his sketchpad and pencils everywhere, and rather than use his hands to hold them, the jacket did. While Rose was in her room getting changed, Jack began moving the furniture around, setting the room up the best way possible for the portrait.

Anastasia and Mac continued to sit outside, trying to come up with a strategy. "A call of distress!" Mac whispered. "I’ll create a diversion and when they both run out, we’ll sneak in!"

Anastasia raised an eyebrow. "Oh, fine. And what exactly are you going to do?"

Mac grinned. "Do you have to ask?"

"You wouldn’t…"

"It’s convincing. I’ll start screaming, and you knock the table over. It won’t break, and nothing’s on it."

Sighing, Anastasia agreed. It was a ridiculous plan, and she did not understand why they couldn’t leave the whole thing alone.

You are losing your touch, a voice spoke inside of her head.

"Ready?" Mac asked.

"Not truly." Anastasia took hold of the table, preparing herself. Mac let out a blood-curdling scream, which shocked Anastasia into knocking over the table. The two girls pressed themselves flat in a corner when the door to the stateroom opened and Jack and Rose both peered out of it. To Mac’s astonishment, Rose was dressed in a dark silk kimono, and her long auburn hair was down and loose at her shoulders. Immediately, the girls slipped inside, crouching low behind one of the couches.

"What was that?" Rose asked, exasperated, noticing the fallen table.

Jack looked around, his eyes wide. "Unless the mice have spent time in the gym, I couldn’t possibly imagine." He spoke loudly, feeling awfully suspicious. Mac and Anastasia slid to the far side of the couch, pressed up against the fabric so that their foreheads were practically touching. They could hear the two adults moving about, and held their breaths when Rose’s shadow passed before them.

Jack sat in the oriental print chair in front of the couch, his blue eyes focused on her face, a small smile apparent on his lips. "The last thing I need is another portrait of me looking like a porcelain doll," she told him, reaching into the pocket of the kimono and pulling out a small, shiny dime. "And as a paying customer…" She tossed it to him, grinning when he caught it. "I expect to get what I want." She removed the kimono, and Mac gulped when she saw it drop in a heap on the floor. The girls immediately crawled very slowly towards the other end of the couch, peeping around the edge. Rose was completely naked! It took a lot of strength for Mac to remain conscious, for she’d never been present during any of her father’s nude portraits. He’d done most of them before she was born, and naturally the Tsar and Tsarina would have refused to allow him to sketch one of the princesses naked, not that he had ever asked.

Anastasia’s mouth had fallen open, and her eyes were practically blank.

Jack felt his cheeks grow warm with embarrassment as he eyed Rose’s perfect figure, and it was almost as though his throat was not working for a moment. "O-over on the bed," he stammered, but then caught his mistake and quickly corrected it. "I m-mean--the couch."

Mac had to grip Anastasia’s arm to keep from blacking out for a moment, and the Grand Duchess bit her lip to avoid yelping in surprise.

Rose went to lay down on the couch, adjusting herself into a comfortable position. "Tell me when it looks right," she announced, and Jack finally found a good pose.

"That’s it—keep your arm right by your face there…right. Now, head down…eyes to me, keep them on me." He flipped his sketchbook open to a clean piece of parchment, and removed one of his sharpened pieces of charcoal. "And try to stay still." He took a deep breath, and his hand began to move, sketching the lines and shadings. He gazed up at her every so often, focusing as closely as he could on the details. As he drew, he felt his chest begin to tighten again due to the scent of the charcoal dust, and found it getting more difficult to breathe properly. After a couple of moments passed, he had to pause, coughing hard into one fist.

Rose propped herself up on her elbow, starting to slide down, but he held out his free hand in protest. "I’m…" He gasped, once the fit ended. "I’m fine. Please don’t move." He cleared his throat, cringing at the pain that it caused, and rubbed his watering eyes with his pocket handkerchief.

"Jack, are you absolutely certain I shouldn’t send for the doctor? That cough seems to be getting worse, not better." She couldn’t help noticing his pale cheeks in the dim lamp light, and that he looked so tired sitting there. He shook his head, sniffling and taking a deep breath.

"Don’t worry about me," he insisted, nodding as she leaned back against the pillows, shaking her head. Jack massaged his aching chest for a moment before peering down at the drawing again. "Now, where were we?" he asked, and continued where he had left off.

Mac and Anastasia slid into hiding again, staring at each other with wide eyes. The fact that they couldn’t speak was awful, so all they could do was lay against the couch and keep silent as church mice.

For a good fifteen minutes, Jack concentrated on the drawing, and all Rose could see of his face from where she lay were his deep blue eyes and upward. When he finished, she beamed, almost grateful, in a way, to be released from her position on the couch. Mac covered her head with her arms as Rose bent down to pick up the kimono, and she slid it on before walking over to see the final product. She gazed over his shoulder, amazed at the incredible talent for the craft Jack possessed. Jack signed his initials and dated the portrait before blowing any of the excess dust off. Then he closed the sketchpad and handed it to Rose, who responded with a deep, passionate kiss.

"Thank you," she whispered into his ear, before stepping back and removing the heart from her neck. She put it back in the blue velvet box and for a moment, she had a thought. She quickly retrieved a piece of stationery from the desk she’d set it on and began to scribble a note on it.

Darling,

Now you can keep both of us locked in your safe.

Rose

Jack came up to her after a moment, curious as to what she was writing. "Whatcha doing?" he asked, and she handed him the velvet box.

"Will you put this back in the safe for me?" she asked, and he nodded. "I’ll be out in a minute…I’m going to change," she added, and he went to do as he was told. He began to open the safe when his breath caught in his chest, and he quickly covered it with his hand. He refused to allow himself to cough again, but the tickling sensation in his throat swelled up to an almost unbearable proportion. At last he gulped for air, coughing heavily into his shoulder. A gasp of sweet air followed every motion, and he felt horribly dizzy as he tried to stand. He managed to grasp onto the edge of the wall, pulled himself to his feet, and stumbled to where the general wash bowl sat on the mantle.

Mac and Anastasia could hear his footsteps, but could not quite tell where they were coming from, and suddenly felt their hearts stop in mid-beat as he walked right in front of them to drink water. Mac closed her eyes tightly, praying he wouldn’t sense their presence, and to her relief, he didn’t. He walked back over to the chair and sat down, breathing slowly and carefully. This was getting ridiculous. He felt relief spread over him when Rose came back out of her bedroom, wearing a white, short-sleeved dress with a pink sash around the middle. Her curly hair hung loosely at her shoulders, and she made her way to him just as she heard someone knocking on the door.

Mac and Anastasia blinked in shock at the noise, and both prepared to make a run, or rather a crawl, for it if the door opened. Rose glanced at Jack, grabbed his hand, and pulled him towards another door on the opposite side of the stateroom, motioning for him to come with her. "Oh…wait! My drawings," he whispered, and she shook her head, letting him know they didn’t have any time to waste. They disappeared through the other door just as the main door opened, revealing Lovejoy. Mac grasped Anastasia’s hand, and the two of them made a quick dash for the door, squeezing through it just in time.

"Oh!" Anastasia gulped when they were far enough out of earshot to talk. "I can’t believe we weren’t caught in there! Your father was right in front of us!" She swallowed hard, feeling as though her insides were about to surface. Mac turned to her.

"My father is sick," she spoke, her voice trembling a little.

Anastasia frowned. "There is not much you can do about it, Mac. You’ve tried, and Rose is with him now. If something…" Mac looked at her through tearing eyes. "If something happens to him, she’ll be able to take care of it. And I’m sure she’ll tell you."

Mac nodded, feeling sick to her stomach. Something was going to happen to her father. She could feel it. And the fact that she could not be there for him made her feel more helpless than she ever had in her life. "Come on." She and Anastasia dashed back to where they belonged.

Chapter Twenty-One
Stories