A SIMPLE SOLUTION
Chapter Twelve
The semi-darkness of the room made it
possible for Rose to see Jack's figure walking around, his movements careful
and quiet. He was so sweet, ran through her mind, the way he tried not to wake
her up. What Jack didn't know was that she had never even fallen asleep. How
could she fall asleep after a day like this?
Molly had returned a short while after she
and Jack had gone downstairs again. Fabrizio had been happy to get rid of the
responsibility of watching Cal of course. Molly hadn't seem too surprised to
see Jack, but she had told both him, Fabrizio and Rose that it was time to grow
up and try to talk to one another whenever there was a problem. They had
nodded, knowing that she was right.
Cal had been a different matter…the police
had arrested him and the two guards outside. Rose didn't think there would be
much chance of justice, but she was glad that he was in jail for now at least.
She was safe for now.
After drinking tea with Molly for about two
hours, or so it seemed, Jack reluctantly asked Rose if she was ready to go
home. She had just looked at him tenderly. Then, her words had come, ever so softly
spoken. "I thought you'd never ask."
He had smiled even more broadly and then the
three of them had headed back home to Fabrizio's and Jack's apartment, after a
hearty good-bye from Molly, who made them promise to come back for lunch the
next day.
On their way back, Fabrizio had told them
that he was going to stay at Tommy's for the night. He had winked at Jack, who
had just shaken his head at him and Rose had laughed, glad to see the two
friends happy again.
So, now she and Jack were alone.
She slowly lifted her head and looked at him
as he sat down on the bed, so close that she could reach out and touch him. He
was sitting there quietly, leaned forward, probably taking off his shoes. She
watched him sitting there, her heart so full during that precious moment that
she almost wanted to cry. He was there, with her and they had this moment
together, alone, safe from all arguments and dangers of the world.
But why wasn't he lying down on the bed with
her? What was going through his mind? Something in the air told her that
sadness was a part of it. Because of her?
"Jack?" she whispered and inched
closer to him without sitting up properly. Her hands softly found their way
over the bed to his back and she wondered what had made him so tense. Every
muscle seemed to be alert.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you
up."
He turned slowly, smiling at her.
"You didn't." She studied his face
closely as her hand touched his unshaven chin. "Is something wrong,
Jack?"
Jack swallowed at the sound of her soft tone,
as she almost timidly asked him to tell her what it was. He hadn't known that
she was awake and he had allowed himself to sense every feeling that had surged
through his body all day. Finding out that he had ignored reality for so long
and finding out that not only did he still have Rose, but they were having a
baby, too…it was a lot to digest in one day. But he didn't want her to worry
like this about him. Her tone clearly told him that that was what she was
doing.
"Nothing. Nothing, Rose. I was just
thinking about today and everything that's happened." He let his blue eyes
travel her face attentively. "You're sure he didn't hurt you?" His
hand moved over her face like hers had done over his face a moment ago.
Smiling again, Rose shook her head.
"Just scared me. That's all." Looking into his eyes, she suddenly
realized that Jack's behavior could be because either he was scared about
having a baby, starting a new life with her, or because he felt guilty about
the past months. His question made it even more obvious which one it was. If
her heart had been full a moment ago, she thought it was going to burst now.
Immediately she embraced him, hugged him
tightly as she sat up to wrap her arms fully around him. He didn't say a word,
he just held her.
"Don't worry. It's all right now. You've
always made me know that it's going to be all right. Now I'm telling you, it's
all right." She was whispering in his ear slowly and instinctively, he
turned so that he was facing her, all the while hugging her tightly. They lay
down on the bed together, she slightly on her side, he with half his body
hovering over hers, careful not to lean on her.
When her arms pulled him down to her, he protested,
trying to sit up, but at the same time his body was screaming at his mind to
stop worrying. She wanted him to be closer, so why was he objecting?
"Rose, I'm too heavy for you…Rose?"
She looked up at him, seriousness shining in
her eyes. "You didn't think so a few months ago," she whispered,
sudden and dark doubts forming in her mind. What if it wasn't worry, what if it
was fear, fear of what he had created with her?
After staring into his eyes deeply for a few
moments, moments when Jack had no idea what to tell her, she backed away,
covering herself with the sheets, even though she was wearing a shirt. Her eyes
were turned to her lap, where her hands were clasped together tightly.
"Don't you…you do love me, don't
you?" she asked in a small voice, without looking up at him.
His heart broke for the millionth time that
day and he moved closer to her, sitting on his knees in the narrow bed. He
moved his hand towards her, but then he changed his mind, not sure whether she
wanted him to touch her or not.
"I do. More than life itself." His
voice was hoarse, scarcely real in the silent room.
Her head snapped up and he saw the big tears
that had formed in her eyes. "Really?" He nodded and she sniffed
quietly, still looking at him seriously. "Then why don't you want to touch
me?"
It was a question, a desperate question and
Jack didn't know how to answer it without hurting her feelings.
"I just…I'm…" He looked at her,
seeing the question still seething inside her. Moving closer, he reached out to
her, taking her hand, feeling relieved and a bit silly when she didn't pull
back. Instead, she squeezed his hand, smiling hesitantly now.
"I'm scared I'm gonna hurt you," he
finally managed to get out, staring at her hands, but he could feel her eyes
boring into his forehead.
"Why?"
"Because…I already have and…I'm…"
She interrupted him with another warm
embrace. This time, she didn't let it lead to a passionate hug, she just held
him as he closed his eyes, thankful that he didn't have to say anything more.
"I told you at Molly's, I've forgiven
you. There wasn't much to forgive anyway. Please, Jack, don't do this. Don't
blame yourself. Just don't." She rocked him softly, unable to believe that
she hadn't understood the pain he had put himself through.
"I know you have. But I haven't. I hurt
you and I can't forgive myself for it."
She leaned back, her hands around his face,
touching him, trying to get through to him as she spoke. "Hey, don't you
trust me? If I say you're forgiven you should know that you can forgive
yourself, too."
He laughed weakly, leaning his forehead
against hers. "You're crazy," he whispered softly, but now a smile
was playing on his lips, making her smile, too.
"I know, but trust me anyway," she
breathed, her mouth brushing against his, feeling his hot breath against her
moist lips.
What had started as a soft touching movement,
transformed into a slow, wet kiss, removing the small doubts and worries that
had been filling Jack's mind. He felt his body losing control, relaxing in her
arms as she pulled him to her once again.
Rose forgot where she was once the kiss had
appeared out of fear and worry and she felt him relaxing again, not thinking
anymore. Just as she had lain down and as he was lying down next to her, she
felt his arms stiffen around her. "What?" she panted, making eye contact
with him in the darkness.
He smiled sheepishly, brushing a few strands
away from her face. "Just wanted to make sure you're okay."
She smiled back at him, her hands closing
around the back of his neck as she pulled him down again. "I'm fine.
Perfectly fine."
Slowly, he began to relax and, like in the
car so long ago, his hands found the buttons to her clothing, seeking her eyes
in the darkness for permission first, just like he had then. She answered by
kissing him feverishly and while he unbuttoned her shirt, his shirt actually,
one he had loaned to her, she reached for his clothing, eager to remove it.
Tenderly, his fingers moved over her breasts,
almost as if he had never felt them before. She gasped at the contact, but at
his hesitation, she pressed her body to his now bare chest. Now he gasped for
air sharply and she slowly let her hands wander over his back.
With his help, she freed him from the pants
and then she felt him pulling the blankets over them. He had probably felt her
shivering, went through her mind, but it wasn't really an important thought at
that moment.
Their lips never parted, at least it felt
that way and they were closely entangled, completely unaware of the rest of the
world. For them, it was just the other one that was real, just the heavy
breaths, just the heat, just the closeness that was truly there.
He looked up at her for a moment, smiling.
"You're so…incredibly beautiful."
She nodded slowly, blushing softly when she
felt his gaze, even in the darkness. Her eyes looked at him timidly, trying to
seem very adult, like she had tried when she had first seen his drawings of
naked women. She had never seen a naked man before. During those last days on
Titanic in bed with him of course, but it had gone by too quickly, like moments
of stolen time, stolen from reality. This time, this was reality and she
couldn't stop the furious blush that was spreading across her face.
Tentatively her hands found their way over
his body and as she lightly moved her fingertips over his stomach, she felt him
wince and his lips found hers quickly. The kiss was hard at first and Rose
closed her eyes as she motioned for him to come even closer.
"What are you trying to do to me?"
he whispered hoarsely, making her smile softly in the darkness. He grinned back,
but his face froze back into its loving and almost solemn expression when he
felt her moving to lie on top of him. The auburn, soft curls fell into his face
and he smiled.
When she tugged at his arms to make him
embrace her, he quickly stilled her hands. "Are you sure about this?"
She nodded, kissing him repeatedly. "And it won't hurt the baby?" His
tone was less serious now, less present. Again, she nodded, smiling at him.
"It won't," she breathed in a
decisive tone and this time, he didn't stop her from pulling him closer.
A shyness that he found endearing prevented
her from doing what she so longed to do, run her hands all over his body, so
for now, kissing had to be enough.
Even if someone had screamed at her from
somewhere in the room, Rose wouldn't have heard it. She was so caught up in
what they were doing that she had almost forgotten how they had ended up in the
bed. Her thoughts whirled around in a confused mess. He's here. I'm here and
we're…oh God, what are we doing? Kissing me…Jack…always making sure I feel
comfortable…all my life he's going to be here…how lucky am I?
She sighed happily when his hand brushed
against her abdomen and when he found his way down her body, she moaned softly,
burying her face in his chest. His heart was beating so fast and so calmly.
Nothing could ever be wrong in the world with that sound…
Her mouth found his again and then he let go
for a second to kiss her face. She closed her eyes, feeling his lips over her
eyelids. For that short moment, she felt the experience in the car flash before
her eyes.
She remembered how worried she had been, even
though she had said that she was okay. She had been so afraid that she would do
something wrong. After all, she had never before been with someone who actually
cared. Cal had not been able to wait until after the wedding of course…quickly,
she erased that picture from her mind and looked at Jack instead.
He smiled, passion and love shining in his
eyes and just when Rose thought she was going to get lost in those blue oceans
that were his eyes, he leaned forward, kissing her. "Ready?" It was
more of a statement than a question and she just kissed him deeply instead of
answering him.
It was almost like her entire body was
shaking with anticipation as she waited. The rebel in Rose hated herself for
feeling almost embarrassed now, but he didn't seem to mind. He helped her find
her way back to the way their bodies connected and when the most amazing
feeling Rose knew existed entered her, she cried out.
Everything was still in a blur as she felt
his body leaving hers ever so slightly and she placed her head on his chest,
sighing softly.
"Tired?"
"No…I mean, yes, but…it's a good, a
wonderful feeling," she replied in a lazy whisper. His hold around her
shoulders tightened as he kissed the top of her head.
"Go to sleep, Rose. It's been a long
day…and a long night." He grinned and she laughed quietly.
"Yes…it has…" She snuggled closer
to his head, moving her fingers over his stomach.
"Wonder when Fabrizio is coming
home?" she asked absently, watching his hand reaching for hers. They
clasped their hands together as Jack cleared his throat.
"Guess he knew to stay away
tonight," he mumbled, causing Rose to giggle tiredly again, her eyelids
falling down over the beautiful sight of their hands together over his naked
body.
"Rose?"
"Hmm?"
"How would you like it to be called Rose
Dawson from now on?"
Rose was already halfway to dreamland when
she heard him saying those words. A part of her dismissed it as being part of
the wonderful, beautiful land where she went when she slept, but when she felt
him sighing above her and when she sensed his sudden nervousness, she sat up,
staring at him. The warm and fuzzy sleepiness had vanished from her eyes.
"What?"
He looked up at her. Her eyes were full of
surprise…oh, she was so beautiful. I can still feel her body intertwined with
mine…she is so soft and so…not now, Dawson, she asked you a question. Oh God,
it's about my stupid, selfish request a moment ago. How could I think she would
want to marry me after all this?
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.
Let's just go to sleep."
She kept on staring at him, her eyes growing
bigger. "What do you mean? Didn't you mean what you said?" Her bottom
lip began quivering and his heart jumped.
"Yes, no…I mean, do you want me to mean
it?" He licked his dry lips and looked at her expectantly.
"Do you?" was her logical response,
making Jack's head spin.
"I…do if you do," he breathed,
shaking his head at himself. He cleared his throat and continued looking at
her. Her face was still the mirror of surprise and shock, but she made no move
to say anything.
"I…I think it's best if I start over.
Will you…I mean, do you want to…oh, shit…Rose, please say you'll marry
me!"
Rose stared at him. Her eyes were filling
with tears now and he sat up, wiping them away one by one. "I shouldn't
have asked that, I know. I…" He couldn't go on, because her lips had
collided with his in a deep kiss.
"Of course I will! I'll marry you, Jack.
Oh I can't wait…" Her voice was breathless and immediately after the last
word was said, she kissed him again. And again…and soon, they were making love
once more, oblivious to the dying night and arriving dawn.