A SIMPLE SOLUTION
Epilogue
Aftermath: Sunshine
May 20, 1913
Jack surveyed the hotel room, his tired eyes
landing on the bed. Maybe he should get some shut-eye before going? Alexander
wasn't the least bit tired. He had spent the hours on the train making Jack so
exhausted he barely knew his name. Alexander was still laughing and clinging
happily to Jack's arms, refusing to let Jack put him down on the bed.
"Ah, come on, Alex…Daddy is so
tired."
Jack sank down next to his son, closing his
eyes for a few seconds. Then, he looked up into the ceiling, the sleepiness
vanishing a bit.
He had to get to there today. Before falling
asleep, before putting it off until another day. He had to go.
Sitting up abruptly, he removed his jacket
and then picked up Alexander again, preparing for what would be the most
painful walk of his life. No. That one he had already taken. When Alexander had
been born and he had walked home with Molly. When Rose had died. He could still
see the apartment…empty…she was gone. The bed was empty. Everything was dead.
The only thing that kept him from throwing himself from the window was
Alexander's serene face.
With a deep sigh, he left the room. Rose
Dawson. A last farewell.
*****
Rose steadied herself on the cane as she
walked through the spring-tinged cemetery, enjoying the only breath of freedom
she could get. Her steps were painful, even with the steady cane to support
her, and she sat down gratefully on the bench, watching as people wandered by
her, carrying flowers for a lost loved one.
She squinted her eyes against the spring sun,
leaning back on the bench. The minutes were already ticking away, but she was
determined to enjoy her time away from the Hockley house.
A shaky breath escaped her and she clutched
her flat stomach, remembering what it had been like to be unable to move as she
pleased, but to have a reason, a wonderful reason for it. Now, she only had her
prison, where she had spent the past five months.
Her thoughts filtered through her heart as
she closed her eyes, yet again remembering. Remembering waking up December 21,
1912. Remembering her mother telling her that the baby had died. Remembering
seeing the tiny bundle that was the blue, dead baby. A girl. Jack had been
there. He knew and was coming back the next day to help her home. She had
relaxed, trusting her mother, trusting Jack…knowing that he would come back.
He hadn't. Instead, they had drugged her, and
the next time she had woken up, tired and bruised, had been in a bed at the
Hockley house in Philadelphia. As soon as she had felt better, felt strong
enough to escape, she had. That had been in January of 1913.
Rose looked down at her yellow dress, softly
touching her injured leg. Cal had found her as she had been creeping through
the garden. He had grabbed her harshly and thrown her inside. They had argued.
He had hit her several times. She had later learned that it was a miracle she
had been standing after the blows he had given her. Her beautiful face had been
torn with scrapes and blue marks.
"No, Cal, I am leaving! I am leaving.
Jack needs me. I need him and I am his wife! Do you get that into your thick
head, you bastard? You can hit me and rape me and do anything you want to
me…but I am still his wife!"
She had tried to run from him, hurry to the
front door, but he had been quicker, and in his unfathomable rage, he had
thrown her down the basement stairs. Her broken and crumbled body had been
found the next morning, since Cal hadn't told anyone what had happened.
She had been close to dying again.
Miraculously, she had recovered, but her left leg had been so badly broken that
it would never heal completely. She would be carrying a cane for support her
whole life. Now Jack would never even look at her again.
She had never told anyone that Cal had pushed
her. He had threatened her that he would kill her mother if she told anyone, so
she had stayed with him for the past four months. She was his trophy, since she
could never be his wife. He already had a wife, but he couldn't let her go and
continue to give her mother money. He called her his little bonus, but so far,
she had always been able to keep him away from her in bed.
One day in March she had been attempting to
flee the house again, but then Cal had treated her kindly and…right after
dinner that day, he had given her a newspaper clipping, where it said that Jack
Dawson, a penniless artist, had died from consumption a wintry February
evening. That had been it for Rose. She had started dying inside, and didn't
even care about anything anymore. Jack was dead. What was left for her?
Nothing. A life as a cripple with Cal would do.
At least she could spend every afternoon
walking alone in the neighborhood close to the house, hobbling forward on a
cane, her face full of scars from Cal's abuse. She was a shadow of her former
self, but what could she do? Jack was gone, and she had accepted her fate.
*****
Jack took a deep breath before entering the
cemetery. Ruth had told him that Rose would be buried in Philadelphia, and this
was the only place beautiful enough to hold his Rose. He hoped he would find
her grave quickly, and then continue on his way home to Chippewa Falls again.
For the past few months, he had been living
there, getting to know the family he still had there and the friends he had
left behind. They had all been surprised to learn that he was a married man
with a little baby boy, but he never spoke about his wife. He couldn't even
utter her name except when talking to Helga, Molly, Tommy or…his son. His son,
Alexander Fabrizio.
He tightened his grip on the curious boy in
his arms, and his hard gaze softened as he looked at him. Rose's features were
already visible in his face, and he knew he would have his mother's spirit and
strength.
After what had happened in December, Jack had
never been seen smiling again, except when looking at his son. Molly had tried
her best to help him, at first by showing him how to take care of the baby and
then by trying to get him to go and see Tommy, talk to Helga on the phone. But
he hadn't been willing to even try. His life was his son, and when he moved to
Chippewa Falls, Molly lost contact with him.
Tommy wrote sometimes, and Helga did, too.
Helga was engaged to be married again, to a man from her home country, and
Tommy was seeing a girl in New York. The pieces were put together again, but
Jack was still lost. He only kept going because of his son. Rose's son. The son
she had died having.
Jack smiled as Alexander pointed at a bird
sitting on the grass, and he paused before going closer to the graves, kissing
his son's forehead, hugging him tightly.
The baby smiled at him and waved his hands in
the air, as if he was happy about something.
"We're going to try to find your mommy
here, Alex. She's not really here, of course…but your grandmother says she was
buried here, and I have to…I have to see for myself. Otherwise, I'll always
wonder."
It was true. He did wonder if she truly had
died. He had been so distraught that horrible day, so detached from reality.
Ruth and Cal could have been fooling him. He had never seen her body. Deep
inside, he knew that he was only risking even more heartache, but he had to
know for sure. He had to.
*****
Rose got up shakily from the bench and
started heading home. Time was up for today. She once again steadied herself on
the cane and began walking slowly towards the gate of the cemetery. Just as she
was leaving, she heard a tiny giggling voice and turned, a slight smile on her
face.
That could only be a baby, she thought with regret and sorrow. Her own baby
would have been almost six months old now. Hers and Jack's. Their daughter.
But…now she was with Jack…wherever that might be.
But the sight that met her almost caused her
to lose her cane and fall flat on her face. It was Jack. He was holding a small
baby in his arms, laughing along with it. Her gasp made him turn and the eyes
that bored into her reflected the same shock.
"Jack…" she rasped, pressing one
hand to her chest as the other one wobbled on the cane. He walked towards her
as if in a trance, stepping on graves and flowers until he was finally standing
in front of her.
"Rose…" he mouthed, sounding
equally exhausted with astonishment. He reached out to touch her red curls and
immediately pulled his hand back as if he had burned himself.
Rose closed her eyes.
"I…Cal told me you died…from
consumption…a few months ago," she whispered, trying to cover her face
from him. Jack…oh, please don't see my scars, bruises…I'm so ugly now. I
can't even walk properly and you…you're still as handsome as ever. Is this your
son?
"No!" Jack exclaimed. "I…they
said you died…while…that day in December, when you went to Ruth's apartment. I
was there and they told me you died…oh, Rose, why…why didn't I demand to see
you? I should have known."
Rose looked at him, smiling a bit.
"You were in pain. I understand."
She cleared her throat slowly, trying to regain control of her world. "You
got married? Is this your son?" Not waiting for an answer, she smiled
brightly, swallowing her tears. "Congratulations, Jack. I'm happy for
you."
Jack's blue eyes were confused now, and he
shook his head, barely noticeably.
What was she talking about? Married? He was
already married to her, and he didn't want anyone else. Ever. My son? She
doesn't know? She thinks there was only one baby…
"Jack? What is it? Don't feel bad. I…I
have moved on, too."
Her hand trembled on the cane, and she would
have fallen if he hadn't grabbed her arm softly.
What has happened to her? Who did this to
her? Cal? How could anyone have hurt you like this, Rose? He felt tears clog his throat, and he swallowed hard,
determined not to show her how upset he was.
"No…Rose…he's…this is our son. You had
twins that night. Twins. The baby girl died. Just like I thought you did,
but…this little guy survived. He's yours, Rose. He's your son. The same baby we
felt moving all those times at the apartment."
Rose gasped. Her eyes widened and her face
went white, then gray, and then white again. Fearing that she would collapse,
he pulled his arm around her, hurriedly walking to the nearest bench. She
stopped him, pulling away from him slightly.
"You don't have to pity me. I can stand
on my own. I'm not crippled," she said bitterly, causing him to step back
slightly, rocking the baby from side to side.
"I know. I…just wanted to…I'm
sorry."
"So where is your new wife?" Rose
spit out, feeling her knees giving out, but she wasn't going to show weakness
again.
Please…don't let there be a wife. Please.
She left him. She's not here. She's not beautiful.
"I only have one wife, Rose. You. Only I
thought she died."
Rose looked at him, tears streaming down her
face.
"He's my son?" she asked, barely
audibly, and relieved, he nodded, smiling at her.
"He's our son, Rose. Our son…Alexander
Fabrizio Dawson."
She pressed one hand to her mouth, smiling
emotionally as she looked up at the baby instead, her breath catching as she
looked into his blue eyes, his small, innocent face.
"He's so beautiful, Jack. I…" She
had stepped closer to him and in her eagerness to see the baby, her hand
slipped on the cane and she almost lost her balance. Embarrassed, she backed
away from Jack's rescuing arm and backed even further away when she saw him
looking at her.
"What happened to you, Rose? Who did
this to you?" he asked softly, anger shining in his eyes and his voice.
"Cal," she breathed, turning her
face from him. He thinks I'm ugly. Oh Jack, why did this have to happen? I
should have been stronger. I should have kept him from me. Now, my face is
ruined and I can't walk without a cane.
"I'll kill him!" Jack cursed
loudly, causing Alexander to start crying softly. Jack smiled at his son,
quickly calming him with soft words, but his smile faded when he looked at
Rose.
"Oh, Rose, I'm so sorry you had to go
through that. I should have known you were alive. I should have come. I…I just
let sorrow drown me, I guess."
"It's okay, Jack. It's not your fault.
It's not…"
She glanced at the baby again, wishing she
could hold him one time. Just one time, before Jack left again.
"Do…do you want to come to the hotel
room with me? I can get you new clothes and you can come with us to Chippewa
Falls. Or do you need something from where you're staying now?"
"I'm staying at Cal's house," Rose
said bitterly, ignoring the rest of his words. "I'm his mistress…you could
call it that…mistress of being abused and beaten."
Jack gasped, and she saw tears escaping his
eyes. "No. Oh God, Rose, please come with me. Please…if you go back there
alone…I'll come and I'll kill him. I swear, Rose. Please…come with me and…we'll
fix this. Alex here needs you."
"Fix this? I can't be fixed! I'm
crippled and my face is torn and I'm ugly. My place is with Cal now, where I
can continue to be miserable. Jack…I'm not good enough for you anymore.
Please…just go."
Don't go. Stay. Take me with you. Save me.
Let me…let me hold the baby. Just one time.
She turned away from him, but suddenly she
felt his warm hand on her back and she closed her eyes.
"Ugly? Are you crazy? Cal is ugly for
doing this to you. I am an idiot for letting him. For believing your mother
that day. You…you're beautiful. You're my…beautiful, beautiful wife. Alex's
beautiful mother. He's missed you, Rose. Please…come with me and be his
mother."
She relished the feel of his skin on hers,
and slowly turned to face him.
"Are you sure?" she whispered and
the desire, the passion she had seen in his eyes months ago, it still shone
there. She swallowed her bitterness and smiled slowly.
"Am I sure? There's nothing in the
entire world I want more, Rose."
"Even if I can't walk properly?"
she asked quickly, making sure he knew what he was doing.
He raised his eyebrows and, without saying
anything, he wrapped his free arm around her, steadying her, and then placed
his lips on hers, tentatively at first, but then with more ardor.
"Now, come on, it's getting late and I'm
sure you're hungry. Alex here is. That's for sure. We'll go to the hotel and
grab something to eat and then you can help him fall asleep. I tell you, he
never wants to sleep. My cousin told me she's never seen a more awake
baby…"
Jack rambled on about his family in Chippewa
Falls as he walked slowly with her, leaving the horrors of the cemetery, of
life with Cal. Rose's eyes were so full of tears that she could barely see
where she was going. Jack still loved her and he was alive. He was alive! Her
heart soared.
*****
The room was small, but there was a bed, a
table by the window, and a couch by the wall. Rose stood awkwardly in the
middle of it all, looking shyly at Jack. He was closing the door and then he
gently put the baby down on the bed, where he laughed and looked at Rose, his
eyes big and curious. Rose smiled at him, still feeling nervous around the
baby.
"Make yourself at home…" Jack
whispered, putting his hand on hers, squeezing her clenched hand around the
cane. "Sit down…" he went on, his arms softly moving over her shoulders.
She smiled at him, trying to remember what it
was like to feel his hands on her like this, without feeling like a bundle of
yielding nerves.
"I…should call my mother…let her know
where I am, at least."
Jack's smile faded a bit and he frowned,
rubbing her hands gently.
"Sure…I'll…I'll be here…if you want me
to stay, that is. I could wait outside."
"No."
Her hand pulled him back and he smiled again.
"I want you to stay."
His hand snaked around her waist and she felt
its warm presence on the small of her back. He was breathing against her lips
and she sucked in the hot air, her heart beating like crazy.
"I'll just…"
She looked away from him, scanning the room
for a phone. When she saw it, she sighed tiredly. It was by the couch, on the
other side of the room. Smiling quickly at him, she let go of his hand, trying
to escape his arms, but he wouldn't let go. Instead, his hand pulled at her
fingers, making her let go of the cane.
"Jack, what are you doing?"
He didn't reply. He just pulled her even
closer, kissed her long and deeply, causing her to forget everything but him.
Then, he helped her over to the phone, a grin playing on his lips. She nodded
slightly, her eyes mirroring her feelings. She felt overwhelmed by his love for
her.
It was surprisingly easy for her to talk to
her mother. Ruth started crying and told her daughter she had felt horrible
ever since she had lied to Jack about what had happened that night. She had
only done it because Cal had promised her some money, money so that she could start
a new life, but she had regretted it ever since. Cal constantly threatened her,
said that he would kill her, kill her daughter if she told anyone the truth.
But despite this, she had been trying to find Jack again for the past two
months and, in case she couldn't find him, she had planned to move all the way
to California with her daughter. Anything to get away from Cal.
"But now that's not necessary, I see.
Oh, Rose, I am truly happy for you…I hope…that one day you'll forgive me."
Rose smiled, tears streaming down her face.
"I have, Mother. You were just afraid
and…life…life is too short to hold grudges. Just…get away from Philadelphia as
soon as you can. Cal won't be easy to deal with."
"I know, darling. I know. I'll write to
you in Chippewa Falls and let you know where I am. Could you…please tell Jack
that I am sorry? I know he'll never forgive me, but…"
"I'll tell him, Mother."
They said good-bye and Rose tried to collect
herself before looking up at Jack again. He was sitting on the bed, holding his
hand on Alexander's head, but his eyes weren't looking at his son. He could
only see Rose.
"She's…she's sorry about what she did.
She was trying to find you, Jack."
His expression didn't change. He just looked
at her quietly.
"She…she asked me to tell you that she's
sorry." He still didn't say anything and Rose was starting to worry.
"But you don't have to. I mean…she's my mother, so I…forgive her. She was
scared and didn't know what she was doing, but you don't have to."
He was still just looking at her and she
heard him breathing heavily.
"Jack…please…say something."
Slowly, he got up from the bed and moved over
to her. Instead of sitting down next to her, he kneeled down, taking her hands
in his.
"I forgive her, Rose. For you. She…what
she and Cal did…it put us--mostly you--through hell this year, but…if you
forgive her, I do, too."
Rose touched his face softly and then leaned
forward, wrapping her hands around his head, hugging him close to her chest.
"I do, Jack. Because…in spite of
everything…things are all right now. I'm okay." She hugged him tightly as
he moved closer and soon they sat in each other's arms and…everything that had
happened since December poured out. The only time they moved through it all was
when Rose began telling him about everything Cal had done. Jack winced and his
grip around her loosened as his hand clenched around the edge of the couch.
"Rosie, I wish I had been there. I wish
I had been there and stopped him." His voice was muffled and thick with
tears as she hugged him tightly, still scarcely believing that she was there
with him, knowing only that she wanted to see him smile again.
They sat quietly for a while, until suddenly
Jack got up, mumbling something about dinner. Rose smiled at his confused
frenzy around the room.
"We…could call for room service,"
she suggested softly, and he nodded, drawing a sigh of relieved amusement.
"You must be starving." He smiled
at her and she just shrugged. She couldn't even remember what food tasted like
and somehow she didn't care.
*****
The night air was seeping through the window
and Rose watched the stars, knowing that Jack was behind her in the room,
protecting her against everything. She only wanted one thing now. To hold the
baby. Alexander had been laughing and throwing food when they had eaten and
then he had refused to fall asleep and was still gurgling happily, as Jack
played peek-a-boo with him. Rose laughed at them, but still felt left out
somehow. They were…bonded and she was just a stranger. She had never even held
a baby before. What if she did everything wrong?
Jack kissed his son's cheek softly and then
finally looked up again. Rose had sat down on the couch by the window after
dinner. She seemed to be avoiding him and he didn't know why. The cane was
leaned against the wall next to her and he felt a pang of guilt and anger as he
watched it and then his eyes went to her left leg. How could anyone hurt her
like that? Make her think she was ugly, crippled?
"Does it hurt?" he asked softly,
finally daring to sit down next to her. She looked up at him, a tinge of
surprise in her eyes, and…nervousness.
"No." She smiled, shaking her head.
"Just if I try to stand on it."
"I could just kill him for doing this to
you."
Her smile faded a bit and his hands kept
rubbing hers. What is going on in that beautiful head of hers? What can I do
to help her?
"Jack…" she breathed, and he
reached out to touch her face softly.
"Yeah?"
Nervousness fluttering in her chest, she
smiled again and went on in that shaky voice. "Can I…can I hold him?
Please?"
"Oh, of course." Jack smiled. He
had wondered why she hadn't asked him before, or even made an attempt to pick
him up, touch him, and now he knew why. He saw it in her eyes. She was scared
that she would do something wrong. But that could never happen.
He grinned widely at his son and walked over
to the bed, picking up a very much awake Alexander and gently setting him down
in Rose's eagerly awaiting arms.
Rose looked at the baby in wonder, her eyes
wide with astonishment as she touched his soft cheeks, and smiled as he broke
into an adorable laugh. Tears filled her eyes and she leaned down to him,
kissing his forehead. His small body was warm against hers and somewhere deep
in her soul, she remembered feeling him move inside her, feeling him being
alive and healthy…a part of Jack inside her.
"I'm your mommy, Alex, and I'm…I'm here
to stay now." Her voice was cracking and she couldn't understand why she
had been so afraid to hold him.
Alexander smiled at her and they sat quietly,
all three of them, for what seemed like hours in serene happiness. As Rose
began to rock him from side to side, singing quietly to him, his eyelids
started drooping, and Jack's eyes filled with amazement.
"Shh…Alex, sweetie…shh…going up she
goes, up she goes, come Alex in my flying machine…all on good-bye…good
night…" Rose's voice faded away and she looked up at Jack, grinning as
Alexander placed his head on her shoulder, half-asleep. Only minutes later, he
was sound asleep.
"He's never fallen asleep like this
before. It usually takes hours. He must know you're his mommy."
Rose smiled and reluctantly gave Jack the
baby to lay him down on the bed. Jack did this with such utter care and love
that new tears came to her eyes and she could barely keep her eyes from him.
"Jack?" He looked up at her, his
eyebrows raised. "Is this a dream?"
"No. It's real, Rose. It's real."
He smiled, moving back towards the couch and her.
"I…love you, Jack," she whispered.
Her hand grabbed hold of the armrest of the couch and she pushed herself up,
taking the cane in a firm grip.
Jack stood in front of her now, smiling.
"You don't need that when you're with me," he whispered and his hand
caressed hers until she let go and her hands came over his arms and shoulders
instead. He hugged her tightly to his chest as they moved in the small room,
pretending to be dancing.
"I'll never be able to dance
again," she whispered sadly, thinking about how she had wanted to do that
while she had been pregnant.
"Of course you will. We'll dance all the
time," he promised, and, strangely, Rose knew it would be true. With Jack,
she could do anything.
"We'll have to get you new clothes and
stuff tomorrow, because you're not going back to that man," he said, and
she laughed.
"No, I'm not. Not ever. But…"
Jack let go slightly to look at her.
"But what?"
"Wouldn't it be more fun to see me
without clothes?"
She tried to sound girlish, like someone she
had been last year, but when his expression didn't turn into one of love and
desire, she looked down, realizing that he was probably just…caring about her
because she was Alexander's mother, not because he still found her attractive.
"Without clothes? Why, Mrs. Dawson, we
have a minor here…no talking like that." Rose looked up at him, a smile
finding its way back to her face.
"Oh, Jack…how did I ever live without
you?"
He smiled, pulling her closer to him again.
"You'll never have to try that
again," he breathed. "We'll always be together from now on."
"Always," Rose added softly.
He tilted his head down to her, softly
touching her face. "God, I love you, Rose," he breathed, before
letting his lips crash down on hers, and Rose was left breathless, both from
his words and from the kiss, the passion and love filling her body, awakening
everything she had thought had died months ago.
That was the simple solution. Love.
The End.