STARTING ANEW
Chapter Nineteen

The beautifully decorated carriage started off and Rose leaned back into the leather seat, snuggling close to Jack's shoulder. She smiled contentedly and thought to herself, "How could anything in the world be better than this?"

Jack looked down at her, "Happy?" he asked.

"Oh Jack, I couldn't be happier."

He pulled her closer against him and said, "Good, that's the way it should be."

Tom, the driver, turned around to speak to them.

"Begging your pardon folks, but I just want to say congratulations, me and May here."

He gestured to the gray horse that was plodding through the traffic.

"Where would you like me to take you?"

Rose and Jack looked at each other. Neither of them had given that a thought. They had a whole afternoon ahead of them."

"Where to Rose," asked Jack.

She thought for a minute and with a toss of her head and a smile on her face she said, "The Statue of Liberty." "After all," she thought, "this is the first day of my new life, my liberation from the past."

"Have you ever been there, Jack?"

"No," he laughed, "but if that's where you want to go, let's do it!"

"Is that where you would like to go then?" asked Tom.

"Yes," said Rose enthusiastically.

"By the way," continued Tom, "when my missus found out that I was going to be driving you around all day, she said to me, 'Tom, those folks are going to be mighty hungry.' So she went and packed you a picnic. Maybe you would like to stop in Battery Park first and eat."

"How about it Rose?" asked Jack.

"Oh yes, Jack, let's. I haven't done that in years. Not since, well, not since my father and I used to..."

Rose's voice drifted off and she became suddenly quiet. Jack wondered why Rose seemed reluctant to discuss her father. Obviously it was a subject that caused her a great deal of pain. Sometime he would try and get her to talk about him.

It was awhile before they finally arrived in the park. The streets were crowded with Saturday afternoon traffic. It seemed as though the whole city was out enjoying the beautiful day. When the carriage stopped, Jack got out first and then helped Rose down. Tom reached under the driver's seat and produced a small wicker basket and a blanket. As Jack reached up, Tom said, "You're in for a treat, my wife is one of the best cooks around."

Rose smiled and said, "I am sure we will enjoy it."

"You go on now and have a good time. May and I will just wait here and take a rest."

Jack took Rose by the hand and led the way into the park, where he spread the blanket near a beautiful weeping willow tree.

"Come on, Rose sit down."

Jack glanced at Rose as he unpacked the lunch. Her eyes were lit up, like a young girl on her first outing. This was the Rose he wanted to see. The woman he had met on Titanic had been beautiful to be sure, but then her fiery spirit had been trapped. Now she looked wild and free and happy.

"Jack look at all this food. I haven't been hungry in days and now I think I could eat everything."

Jack smiled at Rose as he unpacked the basket. Tom had been right about his wife's cooking. Everything looked mouthwatering.

"I'm glad Rose. I was beginning to worry about you, not eating and all. Maybe you really are all recovered now."

"I hope so. I was so scared in that hospital room. Sometimes I would wake up and not know where I was, or where you were. Sometimes I didn't know if I was dead or alive."

Jack reached for her hand.

"I know Rose. I was scared too, scared of losing you. But come on, let's eat. Let's try and be happy today."

The picnic lunch was delicious. After they finished the fried chicken and homemade biscuits, they started on the pieces of sliced fruit and buttery sugar cookies.

"You know Jack, I think this is the best meal I ever had. I love eating outside."

"Well," said Jack, "we'll see if you are up to doing this in a blizzard in Denver."

"Maybe we can arrange something," she challenged. "It could be quite cozy."

She blushed and Jack berated himself for placing the basket between them. If he tried to lean over and kiss her now, the food would be everywhere.

After cleaning up their lunch and returning the basket to Tom, Rose and Jack boarded the little ferryboat for the trip to the Statue of Liberty. As the boat rocked back and forth in the water, Rose clung tightly to Jack. She wondered if perhaps she had made a mistake getting on this boat. The idea of being on the water was still terrified her.

"Still though, I managed to get up some courage," she thought.

Before long, they docked at the base of the statue. Rose looked up to the top. Jack caught the doubtful expression on her face.

"Come on Rose, it'll be alright. Just hold my hand. Do you want to walk up or take the elevator?" he asked.

"Walk? Up there? Jack are you mad?"

"I'm just teasing you Rose. There are 354 steps. I'm not sure if I'm even ready to do that just yet."

When the elevator doors opened they walked out in to the observation room. Jack took Rose's hand as they approached the windows.

"Oh Jack, I've never seen anything like this before. You can see for miles."

"Look over there Rose, can you see Tom and May in the Park?"

She looked over in the direction that he pointed.

"Uh huh. It's so peaceful up here, no sounds of the traffic, just the wind."

"Come on Rose let's look over here."

He led her to the other side of the room. When he found a place that was empty, he stood behind her and his arms came around her waist and he rested his chin on her shoulder.

"I feel so free Jack, just like when we were on the bow of the ship."

They stood that way for a few minutes, then he felt her body tense.

"Look Jack, that's what it would have looked like isn't it, if..."

She held her breath as the huge four funneled ship made its way slowly up the river. The deep whistles bellowed across the city. The little tugboats nudged it along slowly.

"Yes, Rose, that's how the Titanic would have looked. Tell me, would things have been different?"

"Jack how can you ask a question like that. I told you I was getting off the ship with you. And I did, more or less."

He gave a quick smile.

"Do you want to watch some more?"

She shook her head affirmatively.

"I need to see this Jack, it gives me a sense of a journey finally being completed."

"What ship do you think that is?" he asked.

"Maybe the Mauritania. I took that ship once when I came home from boarding school."

"So that's where you learned all that French?"

She looked him in the eye and said very seriously, "Yes, we learned that AFTER they taught us how to spit."

They both burst out laughing. Jack touched her cheek and then bent his head to kiss her.

"How did I ever find this amazing woman?" he thought to himself.

"Well now what, Mrs. Dawson? What do you want to do now?"

They had taken the elevator back to the base of the statue. Jack looked at the clock above the entrance.

"It's almost 4. We've got a few hours left."

Rose thought for a minute.

"You know what I would really like to do? I want to go dancing. I want you hold me and dance. Like we did when we first met."

"I'd like that Rose. Let's do it. We'll ask Tom. Maybe he knows a place. What a perfect way to end the day."

Rose raised her eyebrows and then giggled.

"I hope you have a few other plans for ending the day."

"Actually I do, I just didn't think that well bred ladies discussed such things."

"Someday Jack, I am going to teach you all about well bred ladies and what they think."

"I'm sure I'll find that most instructive," said Jack as he nodded his head up and down.

When they reached their carriage Rose went over and stroked May's nose. She put her face up against the horse and began talking softly to the animal. Jack watched her with pleasure. This was yet another dimension of Rose that he had never seen before. Jack had always loved animals and someday had hoped to have a few dogs. He still thought of his dog Sport that had died the night of the fire.

"Tom, May is so gentle. Do you have anything I could give her?"

"Sure thing miss."

From his coat pocket, Tom produced several plump carrots. As Rose took the carrots and fed them to May, she asked, "Isn't she a wonderful horse Jack?"

Jack stood with his hands folded across his chest, smiled and nodded.

"I didn't know you were an animal lover, Rose."

"Oh I love animals, it's just that I was never allowed to be near them. I went riding, but they took the horse away as soon as I was done. Mother never allowed animals near her or me. She seemed to have some sort of aversion to all animals, but horses in particular."

Rose sighed regretfully.

"I grew up with animals," said Jack. "Being an only child they made me feel less lonely."

"I was an only child too, it is lonely," she said sadly.

Rose went back to feeding May the carrot.

"Take it easy May."

She couldn't help but grin as the big sandpapery tongue made contact with her hand.

"You have a nice touch with her," said Tom. "She might want you to come home with her."

"No chance of that tonight," said Jack. "No, didn't think so," laughed Tom.

"We better get going Rose. Let me help you up."

As he got in, he noticed a newspaper on the floor. Tom must have been reading it. He picked it up out of curiosity. It had been days since he had read a paper. At first it had been to see the lists of survivors. He had kept checking to see if somehow the names of Cora Cartmell and her father were listed, or Fabrizio and Tommy. But it was not to be. Of course neither Rose's name or his had been listed, but somehow he had a feeling that the others had not been so lucky. He became angry whenever he thought of those locked steerage gates.

Tom's question broke into his thoughts.

"Where to now?"

"Oh sorry," said Jack.

He looked at Rose.

"How about a ride in the park. Then we want to go dancing. Do you know any place for that?"

Tom was silent for a moment, then he answered.

"Know just the place for that. Over on the Bowery. A big place called Stauch's. Real nice quality folks go there. Big room for dancing and you can eat there too." Rose looked at Jack and nodded her approval.

"That sounds good to us."

Tom looked back and them and smiled.

"I think May likes the idea just fine too."

As they made their way through Battery Park and back out on to the main thoroughfares, Jack looked down at the paper in his hand. Rose saw it too. The headlines were still about Titanic. There were also notices about collections for various relief funds, articles about the remains of passengers being brought into Halifax and the body of bandleader Wallace Hartley being found. Some stories mentioned that the crew of Olympic refused to sail without sufficient lifeboats. Jack and Rose looked at each other. How close they had come to being victims themselves. Tom heard the pages crinkling behind him. He turned around and said, "Terrible thing wasn't it?"

"Yeah," said Jack.

Tom continued, "Almost unbelievable. Can't even imagine how folks that didn't get into a lifeboat made it."

Rose looked into Jack's eyes as she answered, "Maybe they had a guardian angel watching over them."

"Sure must have been something though."

Jack had no wish to be rude, so he gently tried to steer the conversation to another topic.

"Says here in the paper, that there is going to be warm weather coming."

Tom began to talk about the unreliable spring weather in New York and Jack sighed with relief. As he put the paper down, two more items caught his eye. One small notice stated that the British Inquiry had heard from its first two witnesses the previous day. It also said that as the U.S. investigation had wrapped up several more witnesses had given testimony by letter. Among them was Mr. Caledon Hockley of Philadelphia. A short paragraph was devoted to giving a synopsis of Cal's remarks. Rose and Jack read quietly not wanting to attract attention to their deep interest in the Titanic stories. They were not surprised to find that Cal's comments were filled with outrageous lies. He said that he had been unable to attend the inquiry himself as he was in seclusion following the death of his fiancée on the ship. Rose looked at Jack, both of them remembering his gun pointed at them, and the stinging blows to her face. The story went on to say that Mr. Hockley felt that everyone on board had a fair chance of surviving and that the third class had as easy access to the boats as anyone. He was sure that many boats had returned to rescue those in the water.

Tears formed in Rose's eyes. She could not read anymore. She buried her had against Jack's chest.

"I'm sorry Rose," he whispered. "I shouldn't have started with that."

"Jack we just can't get away from it. Will we ever get away from Titanic?"

"I don't know Rose, I don't know. It might not ever go away, but maybe it will just get a little easier to deal with. That is sort of how it has been with my folks."

He dried her tears and she tried to smile for him.

The trip to Central Park took awhile in the afternoon traffic. Everyone that Jack and Rose saw in the park looked happy and relaxed, ordinary people living normal lives. They held hands and both had thoughts of when the last time their lives had been normal.

Suddenly Rose said, "What were you doing a month ago, on April 4?"

"Hmm, a month ago, I think Fabrizio and I were walking around England, doing odd jobs, I was doing some sketches and sometimes we really were sleeping under bridges. Something like this, what happened today, never even entered my mind. What about you?"

"A month ago I was hating myself and you probably would have hated me too. I was being forced to act the part of the blushing bride. I was getting my trousseau. I felt so phony. It was so unreal. It was some sort of contest to be always seen in the right places at the right time. What a waste."

Jack listened patiently as she went on, "I never liked those people Jack. There was no depth to them, just a thin veneer of what was proper. I struggled against all that and I thought there was only one way out."

She looked at him. This man had already saved her in so many ways.

"Thank you Jack, for saving me, for caring for me and for loving me."

Jack did not know what to say. He had only done what came naturally to him. That it had all ended like this was beyond his wildest hopes. So Jack did what he often did these days when words failed him. He put his arms around Rose and kissed her.

They rode in silence the rest of the way through the park. Being in each other's company was enough. After awhile they left the peace of Central Park behind them. They were back in the crowded streets. Tom pointed to a building ahead.

"See that building on the corner there? The one with the big columns? With that rounded front? That's the place I told you about. Stauch's. Do you want me to stop there now, or do you want to ride a little more?"

"Jack, I'm ready to go in."

"That's settled then Tom. We'll be ready to go around 7:30, if that's alright with you."

"Now you just forget about the time. May and I are goin' home and have our dinner. We'll come back around 8 and we'll take a nice quiet way back to the hotel."

Jack helped Rose out of the carriage.

"Thanks Tom. Thank your wife too. That was a wonderful lunch."

"She'll like to hear that. I'll be back for you. Now you have a good time."

Jack and Rose held hands and walked up the stairs at Stauch's. From inside came the sounds of clinking china and the steady buzz of conversation. Jack looked around. There was no on else under the portico. He led Rose to one of the far pillars. He put his hands on her shoulders and kissed her. It was a deep demanding kiss that took Rose's breath away. Never before had Jack kissed her like this. When he was done he caressed her hair and looked at her. His eyes were burning with a desirous look. He had raised such emotions in her that she had felt weak.

"Rose," whispered into her ear, "I need you, I want you."

She leaned back against the cool stone of the pillar.

"Jack, how can you do this and expect me to go in there now and look normal."

She was smiling at him, but her chest was rising and falling rapidly.

"I want you too Jack. I've never felt like this before."

Chapter Twenty
Stories