STARTING ANEW
Chapter Twenty-Four
“Next,” called the clerk behind the window
grill at the ticket counter.
Jack with Rose at his side stepped up to the
man.
“Where are you folks heading,” he asked.
“We want to go to Chicago. There’s two of
us.”
The man studied the young couple for a minute.
They were a hard pair to figure out. They couldn’t have much money. Yet the
woman looked so fine and elegant, even in her simple skirt and blouse.
“I wonder if they are eloping,” thought the
bald-headed railroad clerk.
“Okay, that’s the Century. Leaves here at
12:40 P.M. and gets into Chicago tomorrow morning at 9:30 A.M. You folks want
one of those staterooms or a sleeper section?”
Jack only wished that he could take Rose to
Chicago in a grand style. Instead he asked, “How much is the section?”
“Well now that will cost you $36.” The clerk
scratched his head and explained, “That’s $12 each for the berths and $6 for
the Pullman fares.”
“We just need the one berth,” said Jack,
somewhat embarrassed.
“Sorry, can’t do that. It’s railroad policy.
Only one person to a berth.”
The clerk looked at the couple after he said
this. They were so young and obviously in love. But he could take no chances
with his job. He had to follow the rules.
“Alright,” sighed Jack, as he counted out the
money.
“Listen, son,” whispered the clerk, “don’t
see that it makes no difference if one of you isn’t tall enough to climb up
there though.”
He winked at Jack and handed him the tickets.
Then he smiled at Rose. She was a rare beauty. That was for sure.
“You folks ever been on the Twentieth Century
Limited?” he asked, eager to stare at Rose a bit longer.
“No we haven’t,” said Jack as he tucked the
tickets in his jacket.
“Well, let me tell you, you’re in for a
treat. Big plush seats, steak for dinner, electric light to read by, steam
heat. Why I’ve heard it’s as fancy as an ocean liner, like that fancy one that
just sank, the Titanic?”
Rose cast her head to the side and Jack’s
mouth twitched. Neither one wanted to call attention to themselves by making
any comments, but they wondered if this was going to go on forever. Would
Titanic’s sinking overshadow every move they made?
The clerk adjusted his glasses and went on,
“Yes, sir, that was a shame. All those folks. Freezing to death. Can’t imagine
what that must have been like.”
Jack was eager to be on his way. He could see
that Rose looked pale.
“No, no, I’m sure you can’t,” he said
somewhat stiffly. "Well, we need to get going. Thanks for the
information.”
The clerk took a chance and said, “Your wife
there gonna be okay?”
Jack took Rose by the arm and started to lead
her away. He turned his head back to the clerk, “Yeah, yes, she’ll be fine. We
just need to get some breakfast.”
“Oh, Jack, I am so tired of this,” said Rose,
drawing her hand across her forehead. “I am beginning to think that this will
be with us all our lives. My God, we’ll all probably be dead and buried and
they’ll still be digging this subject up.”
“I think so too, Rose. Come on, we need to
get some food.” He glanced around the waiting room until he spotted what he was
looking for.
“See,” he pointed, “there’s a little coffee
shop over in the corner.”
The steel arched ceiling soared above them as
they crossed to the other side of the station. There were crowds of people all
carrying suitcases and bags. Here and there a few travelers had found a seat on
the polished wood benches.
“Excuse me, sir.”
Jack looked around to see who was speaking.
The only person in sight was a young black man in a blue uniform. Then Jack
realized that he was the one being referred to as sir.
“Can I take your bags for you sir?” the
porter asked.
“Ah, yeah, I guess so,” answered Jack, a
little reluctantly.
“What car are you in?”
Jack was struggling to pull the tickets out
of his pocket. He felt for the moment rather inept and inexperienced. This was
more than he had bargained for. Having someone carry his bags was an entirely
new concept to him.
“Here, let’s see...”
Jack studied the pale green slips of paper.
“Looks like we’re in car 225, section C.”
The porter nodded.
“I’ll get them on the train for you. Here,
let me take them.”
Rose stood behind the porter, frantically
motioning with her hands and moving her mouth. At last Jack understood what she
meant.
Jack pulled a few coins from his pocket.
“Here, thanks very much,” he said, handing
the money to the man.
“Oh yes sir,” said the porter as he tipped
his cap. “Thanks very much, sir.”
At last they made their way to the coffee
shop and found an empty table in a corner.
“You know Rose,” Jack said as he pulled out a
chair for her, “I don’t know if I will ever get used to this, giving tips and
all that. Just a couple of weeks ago, I was the one struggling to make a few
cents helping people.”
She smiled at him.
“Come on, sit down,” as she patted the chair
next to her. “You will. You’re doing fine.”
Jack ordered two fried eggs and bacon and
Rose asked the waitress for tea and toast.
He looked at her worriedly.
“Is that all you’re going to eat?”
“I’m not very hungry Jack. I just don’t know
how you can eat now and then again on the train when they serve lunch.”
He laughed and looked at her.
“Remember all the energy I used last night?”
She blushed. How could she forget last night?
It certainly had been a memorable wedding night. And apparently she had not
disappointed Jack.
The waitress brought their food and they
started eating. After a few bites, Rose put her teacup down and took some deep
breaths. Jack looked over at her with concern.
“What’s wrong? You’ve hardly touched the
little food you’ve got there. Come on, I don’t want you to get sick now Rose.
What is it?”
He looked alarmed as he grabbed her hand.
“Oh, Jack, I feel so dizzy and warm. And my
stomach is just rolling.” She stopped and put her other hand on her chest.
“It must be the excitement Jack,” she said as
she swallowed trying to keep her food down.
“Look, Rose, I’m going to ask for some ice.
I’ve heard that kind of freezes your stomach and settles things down.”
Jack watched Rose while they waited for the
ice. He wondered just what was going on. She had never been queasy on the ship.
A nagging idea slowly began to build in the back of his mind. Jack had
eavesdropped enough at his mother’s tea socials, so that he was not totally
ignorant of what went on with women. He knew one reason why she could be feeling
this way. But maybe she really was just excited about getting started on their
trip.
Rose took the ice and chewed on several
pieces.
“Is that a little better?” Jack asked.
She nodded. Her stomach was settling down.
This was the second time is as many days that she had felt this way. Yesterday
she had thought it was wedding nerves. She was beginning to wonder if indeed it
was something more.
“I can’t let whatever this is spoil our
trip,” she thought.
She took another piece of ice. Determined to
be cheerful, she gave him a smile. With that he looked back at her relieved.
There was a loud whistling sound. They both
looked around to see what was happening. Someone was making an announcement.
“Now boarding on Track 34, the Twentieth
Century Limited for Chicago. Stopping at Albany, Utica, Buffalo and all points
west.”
“This is it. Time to head out for the
horizon.”
“Oh Jack, I can’t believe we’re finally
going. Maybe getting away from here will make me feel better.”
He quickly paid the bill and they joined the
line of people waiting to board the train.
“It’ll be alright now,” Jack encouraged.
“Things will be better, you’ll see. We’ll get away from here. We’re gonna make
it Rose. Come on.”
Suddenly she felt as though a thousand pounds
had been lifted from her shoulders. Jack’s words had filled her heart with
courage. She felt alive and even her roller coaster stomach had quieted down.
“That’s what I love about you Jack. You’re so
positive. Optimistic.”
He squeezed her hand bent his head down to
kiss her.
The metal gates were unlocked and the throng
moved down the stairs to the tracks. They glanced at each other trying hard to
block out the memory of some other locked gates. They were both determined not
to let another Titanic memory spoil their day.
As they walked along the platform looking for
their car number, Rose started feeling more like her old self. The spirit of
their adventure was making her feel bold. She reached up to whisper in Jack’s
ear. He stopped for a minute and laughed heartily.
“Rose, you really are impossible. If that
will make you happy, we can do it wherever you want."
Jack lay in the berth with Rose snuggled
against him. He could tell from her breathing that she was sleeping soundly. He
on the other hand, was having a restless night and had been awake for several
hours. While he felt the gentle rocking of the wheels beneath him and listened
to the haunting whistle from the engine, Jack was silently berating himself for
his past actions.
He was thinking about the possibility that
Rose might be pregnant. If she was, it was probably too soon even for her to
know for sure. He did not think she was purposely concealing anything. And
since they had only been married a few hours, it had to have happened that
night on Titanic.
Jack ran his fingers through his hair.
“My God, what was I thinking of. What if I
had not survived? She would have been left alone to raise a baby.”
And if she had gone to Hockley, the horrors
were unimaginable. His child would have been raised as Cal’s or worse still,
Cal in his infinite cruelty, could have had the pregnancy terminated.
Jack thought of the women he had known in the
last few years. Oh there had been some exotic ladies and beautiful girls. But
he had not entered into a relationship with any of them. And for this very
reason, that he had feared something like this happening. He just hadn’t wanted
to become involved. Now this one special woman had come into his life. She
might be carrying his child. And because of his stupidity, he could have ruined
her life. On that night, his usual good judgment had failed him. He had led
with his heart, not his head and let everything get out of control. Despite
Rose’s request in the back of the car, HE should have known better. He thought
of the woman in Chippewa Falls who had been like a second mother to him. She
would be so disappointed in him if she ever found out.
As the little towns passed and the lights
reflected on the drawn shades, Jack’s thoughts were still whirling. Of course
now that he and Rose were married, it was a little better. But still, deep down
he was afraid. Afraid of so many things.
“What if Rose is not ready to be a mother?”
he asked himself. “Then what?”
“And what do I know about being a father? Do
I have the kind of patience Dad did? And can I share Rose with another person?”
In the dim light he could just make out her
delicate face and hear her soft breathing. She was lovely even when she was
asleep.
“God, what was I thinking?”
Rose twisted around in the confines of the
berth. Unknowingly she tugged at one of his hands and together with hers, it
came to rest on her abdomen. Jack laid his head against her shoulder, taking in
the sweet scent of her hair. As always, it acted as a tonic to soothe his mind.
“Well maybe if this is to be, it’ll all work
out,” he thought, some of his optimism slowly returning.
He gripped her hand a little tighter and with
his other hand, turned his warm pillow to the cool side. He finally allowed his
body to relax against the crisp sheets and he began to drift off to sleep, half
wondering what a child of theirs would look like.