STARTING ANEW
Chapter Thirty-Nine

Rose stood in Golden Moon’s kitchen and surveyed the situation around her. Golden Moon had left her alone for a minute and gone into another room. Rose could see into a pantry that had tidy shelves filled with neatly labeled bottles. Each bottle appeared to be filled with various kinds of crushed leaves. In this main part of the kitchen, dishes were drying on a wooden rack. Something that smelled delicious was simmering on the stove.

“How will I ever be able to have such order and organization in my life,” she thought, “when I don’t even know where to start.”

Oh, yes, Molly had told her that Jack would love her even if she made mistakes and that most brides had to learn these things. But when Rose saw what Golden Moon had achieved in the order and comfort of her home, Rose felt positively inadequate. And if she had a baby besides, the whole situation seemed hopeless.

Golden Moon returned with a large fabric bag. She looked at Rose and noticed the dismay on her face.

“Don’t worry,” the woman said, “there is nothing in here to hurt you.”

Rose gave her an unsure smile.

“You are not afraid to go into the woods with me?” asked Golden Moon.

“No, it’s not that at all,” said Rose. But offered no further explanation of what was on her mind.

They went down the back stairs of the Edmund’s cabin. Ahead, a narrow but well worn path led into the woods. For several minutes the women walked in silence. Then Golden Moon spoke.

“Rose,” she began, “I have known Jack for many seasons. We have been like a second family to him, just as Jay spent much time at the Dawson’s. The night before he left this place, Ted and I had a long talk with Jack. We did not want him to leave. We both felt it was better for him to stay and try to work through things, but he was determined. We reminded him of the things that his parents and Ted and I had taught him. We did not want him to get into any trouble. But he assured us, that no matter what, he would live by the rules that he grew up with. I told him that now that he was growing older women would be more interested in him. I reminded him that he should think clearly with his head, not with his heart in a moment of weakness with a woman that was not his wife. That there would be consequences to deal with otherwise.”

Rose looked away from Golden Moon. She knew what the woman was talking about. And while she knew nothing of their story, Golden Moon seemed to sense exactly what had happened. But what had taken place that night was as much her fault as Jack’s. And there certainly were consequences.

“So,” said Golden Moon, knowingly and gently, “Jack has not always been thinking with his head.”

Rose looked at her and nodded.

“How long have you known him?”

Rose told her that it had been less than a month.

“And married?”

“Less than a week,” said Rose cautiously.

Even Golden Moon did not know what to say to this. If Jack’s parents were living she could not even begin to imagine the repercussions that would be taking place. What was the boy thinking of?

“Rose, when will your time come?” asked Golden Moon.

Rose looked confused and asked, “What?”

“The time for the birth? There is a baby isn’t there?” questioned Golden Moon.

Rose was shocked. No one had ever asked her intimate things like this before.

“I, I think so. I think maybe January,” Rose answered.

“So, then it happened right when you met him,” Rose nodded. “Within a day,” she whispered.

Golden Moon absorbed all this information as she studied Rose. The girl was lovely, soft spoken and intelligent. She complimented Jack who himself was artistic, gentle and charming. Sometimes a little too charming.

“Rose, when Jack left here, he promised me something. He told me that if he ever took a wife, he would never bring her to me, unless I would be proud to consider her a daughter. I don’t know you Rose, but there is something so sincere and honest about you. I sense that a strong spirit lives inside of you. I look at you and say to myself, that yes, this is someone I would be proud to call a daughter. I can’t say that I am pleased with Jack’s behavior, but I won’t judge that. I don’t know the whole story. And I sense there is a story that will be told later.”

Rose’s eyes were glittering with tears. Golden Moon spoke straight from her heart. Rose knew that. She was relieved at the words of acceptance. She knew how very important this woman’s opinion was to Jack.

“Thank you,” Rose said, smiling at Golden Moon.

“Tell me about yourself,” said the woman.

Rose gave her a brief synopsis of her early life. The fun that she had with her father and opposed to the cold interaction with her mother, her life at school and the forced engagement. Then she stopped.

Golden Moon looked at her, mystified for the moment.

“And then you met Jack?”

“Yes,” was all that Rose would say.

“Something happened when you met Jack? Something bad?” suggested Golden Moon.

Rose’s face paled and she nodded. Rose felt she could trust this woman. She laid her hand lightly on Golden Moon’s wrist.

“Something terrible yes. And we want to tell you, but I can’t do it again without Jack. Please understand.”

Golden Moon looked at Rose understandingly and gave a slight nod of her head.

“Come, Rose, let’s get down to the creek and look for the berries. Have you ever gathered berries before?” asked Golden Moon.

“No,” said Rose.

Rose could no longer contain the uncertainty that was growing inside of her. She reached over and touched Golden Moon on the arm. She blurted out all the worries that she had been keeping to herself.

“I don’t know how to do anything. I have no idea how to cook for a family, do laundry, keep house or even set the table. Oh, I learned how to make a couple of fancy dishes in finishing school, but we had help to do the rest. And now if there really is a baby, I feel truly helpless.”

“Have you shared this with Jack?” asked Golden Moon.

“Well, not all of it. I don’t think he has really thought about this. I told him I could cook a little, but no, I don’t think he realizes how helpless I am,” Rose told her.

Golden Moon chose her words carefully.

“First, you are never helpless if you understand your problem. I wish you were going to be here awhile. I could help you. But tonight at least, you will help me prepare our dinner.”

“Thank you,” said Rose. “But it’s your home that impressed me. It is so orderly and peaceful. That’s what I want and I don’t know where to begin.”

“Rose, if you let your mind relax and keep your thoughts orderly, the rest will follow.”

Rose gave her a skeptical look.

“You make it sound so simple.”

The two women continued their conversation as they walked along the creek bank. From time to time Golden Moon would bend over and examine a plant. She took a small basket out of the large fabric bag.

“Here, Rose, please hold this for me,” said Golden Moon, placing some leaves in her bag.

“Starting a new life is never easy for anyone,” Golden Moon began. “I came from a different culture. We had different traditions, different ways of dressing and different kinds of homes. My people are the Chippewa,” she added proudly. “When I married Ted, not only did I have to learn to fit into a different culture, I had to learn to tolerate the insulting remarks that were made at us. You, Rose are already an accepted person. You are beautiful and intelligent. No one will ever throw you out of a shop, or refuse you a job or a hotel room.”

Rose looked down, feeling somewhat ashamed.

“You see, everyone has their problems in the beginning. It is obvious that Jack loves you very much. He will never love anyone else. That is the kind of person he is. And I see how much you love and need him. The short time you have known one another, has not made a difference for you. I think you have been soulmates since the beginning of time.”

Golden Moon found a bush that had some wild raspberries on it. She began gathering the berries and putting them in a small basket. Rose copied her movements and started picking berries as well.

“What are you going to use these for,” asked Rose, curiously.

“Tonight with our meal, we will have some muffins with these berries in them. But they can also be used for something else. If you dry them, you can make a tea from them. I will give you some. When your time comes, a small amount of the berry tea, can ease your pain.”

“Golden Moon, I know January is a long time from now, but sometimes I am already afraid,” confided Rose.

Golden Moon looked at Rose with a sympathetic look on her face.

“You would not be normal if you were not afraid.”

Rose looked back at her with an unspoken question on her lips.

“Yes, the pain can be bad. It is different for everyone. But you are made for it and you forget Rose, you forget.”

Rose felt a little more relieved. It was wonderful to have someone with whom she could have a frank discussion about these things. She could never imagine asking her own mother these questions.

“I think we have enough berries now."

“They look wonderful,” said Rose. “Could I sample one? I’ve never had a freshly picked berry before.”

“Go ahead,” laughed Golden Moon.

She smiled at Rose’s almost childlike delight at the first taste of a freshly picked raspberry. In the very short time that she had spent with Rose, she was convinced that Jack had chosen someone very special, very unique to be his wife. How they had met remained a mystery, as did the seriousness that seemed to be reflected in their eyes. But Golden Moon had seen the pride in Jack’s eyes when he introduced Rose and she heard the love in Rose’s voice when she spoke of Jack. Yes, the heart of Blue Hawk was bold and strong. It would be a good marriage.

Chapter Forty
Stories