STARTING ANEW
Chapter Forty-Six
It was that time of when neither day or night
prevailed. A golden time, when the sun hung like a huge primordial globe in a
primitive sky. A time that belonged to those who came to the shore to commune
with nature. This then was the time of day when Jack and Rose arrived at the
beach in Santa Monica.
They were barefoot in the sand and held hands
as they strolled along in the surf.
“I can’t believe we are really here,” said
Rose. “It still seems like a dream. When we first talked about this place on
Titanic, I never really believed that we would be here, like this…married.”
“I feel the same way,” Jack admitted. “And
tomorrow is the big day. We’ll drink that cheap beer, ride the roller coaster,
though maybe not until we throw up and ride horses, like a man,” he grinned,
looking into her eyes.
She smiled briefly at him, but then suddenly
a shadow crossed her face. She bit her lip thinking of what to say. Then she
laid her head against Jack’s chest sniffling quietly. Jack took her by the
shoulders and looked down at her.
“I thought that coming here would make you
happy. That doing all the things we talked about would be fun for you. What is
it? What’s wrong Rose? Come on, tell me,” he said somewhat puzzled.
“Oh, Jack,” she sniffed in-between sobs.
“It’s just that we came all this way here and we planned to do all those things
and now…well…”
“Come on, Rose. What is it?” he asked again,
frustrated at her uncompleted sentences.
Deep inside, Jack suspected what she was
about to tell him. But he wanted her to say the words.
“Is it about me? Something to do with me?” he
prodded.
Rose could not understand why she was having
trouble speaking. Jack was her husband after all. She had nothing to be ashamed
of. She drew in a deep breath. But instead of feeling better, she got that
cold, shaking feeling again. In her mind was once more the feeling of the
coldness of the cargo hold, of the frigid water, of that freezing night. After
all she had been through, she hoped there was nothing wrong with this baby.
“What is it that you are trying to tell me?”
Jack reminded her.
He put his arms around her to support her and
as he did so, she let his strength flow into her. Slowly she began to feel like
herself again and got a grip on her emotions.
“Jack,” she whispered, as he held her tightly
against him, “it is about you, about us. I, that is we, we’re going to have a
baby. It was that night…” but she never got a chance to finish.
Before she knew what was happening, she felt
her feet leave the ground. The beach became a blur and the only sound she heard
was the exuberant laughing and whooping of Jack. She could not help but to join
in his unabashed joyfulness. She let her arms fly out into the wind and she
squealed with utter delight in their combined happiness. Now in this moment,
for the very first time in weeks, their outward feelings were totally
unrestrained. It was if they were suddenly released from the bonds of the
tragedy that had held their emotions captive in some dark recess of their
minds.
Slowly he put her down and as he did he said,
“Wow, I can’t ever remember being this happy. I was wondering when you were
going to tell me,” he laughed.
“You mean you thought, you knew, guessed,
that maybe this was going on?” she asked.
Jack stood with his hands on his hips and
explained, “Rose, I might be a guy, but I’m not naive. I’ve lived with you for
awhile now. And besides, you’ve been so tired, struggling not to be sick, had
no appetite. What else could it be?”
“Oh, Jack, even Golden Moon guessed right
away. She even told me some things to do when the time comes. She gave me some
herbs and things.”
“So that was why she wanted to say good-bye
to you alone?”
Rose nodded.
“Can you imagine what my mother is going to
say?”
“Oh, I am sure she will have a few choice
words for me,” agreed Jack. “But let’s now think about that now. What we need
to do right now, is celebrate. Come on. I know just the place. I saw it when I
was here before, but didn’t have any reason or any money for going there.”
Rose and Jack sat at a table at the Santa
Monica Pier Cafe. It was a rickety wooden building that sat on stilts over the
beach. The voices of the tourists echoed off the water. The twinkling lights
that illuminated the long pier were just coming on. The music from the Ferris
wheel and the carousel tinkled softly above the sound of the wind and waves.
The waiter had come to take their order and
Rose and Jack sat each with a glass of wine in their hands.
“What are you thinking about?” asked Jack.
“I was just lost with my thoughts for a
moment. I guess I was thinking about all my hopes and fears. I’m scared Jack. I
went through so much. The freezing water, the pneumonia. I hope everything is
going to be alright.”
Jack took her hand and gave her a serious
look.
“My mom used to say that things are just
meant to be, no matter what happens. If this is meant to be, then it will all
work out.”
There was a furrow in her forehead and she
pursed her lips before giving him a slight smile.
“You always say the right thing, Jack. I
guess your mom had the right idea. I’ll just take one thing at a time. And
right now, we should be happy, shouldn’t we?”
“You bet. Now let’s enjoy our dinner, this
beautiful view and drink a toast to your good health and the safe arrival of
our baby,” said Jack, lifting his glass.
Their food came a few minutes later. Jack had
ordered a steak and mashed potatoes. Rose, whose appetite was better tonight,
ordered pot roast and noodles. They were both quiet while they ate, enjoying
the colorful atmosphere that surrounded them, letting the gentle sea breeze
cleanse their still weary souls.
Sitting back when they were done, Jack idly
asked Rose what she thought they should name the baby.
“We do have some time to think about it,” she
said. “But remember what Molly said right after the wedding? “Just name a baby
for me?” Now I wonder if even she suspected something.”
“We owe her a lot and we should at least do
that for her,” said Jack. “And Molly is a cute name. Let’s do that. But she
should have a middle name.”
Rose and Jack thought for a minute. Suddenly
Jack had an idea.
“How about Ruth?” he asked. “Molly Ruth
Dawson. That sounds nice.”
Rose looked at him as if he had lost his
mind.
“Jack, are you crazy? Name a baby after
Mother? After all she has put us through?”
“That’s just it. She’ll have to approve of a
baby that has her name. It will make her feel part of things.”
“I don’t know,” said Rose cautiously. “You
don’t know her. She will have a fit over this whole thing. I don’t think even
Molly will be able to smooth over this situation with her.”
“We’ll see,” answered Jack, being his usual
optimistic self. “But I think it will work. It will compliment her. Don’t you
see Rose, she really wants to be accepted now. She just doesn’t know how.”
“You win Jack. You always do. Molly Ruth it
is. I just hope we have a girl, because I can’t think of any boys names that I
like,” she said laughing.
The words, “You win, Jack,” passed through
Jack’s mind briefly. Those were almost the same words Cal had said to him on
Titanic. “I always win, Jack.” He wondered what Cal would do if he could see
them here like this tonight.
“I won’t bring this up to Rose. I don’t want
to spoil her happiness,” he thought to himself.
“It’s a girl. Trust me. I just have a
feeling,” Jack told her.
He took her hand and together they got up
from the table.
“Want to continue the celebration?” he asked.
“I don’t think the roller coaster will do for a mother to be. How about the
Ferris wheel? We can see out over the water and we’ll be alone way up there,”
said Jack, pointing to the very top of the slowing turning ride.
“Lead the way, Jack. I think I will take full
advantage of being pampered. Soon enough I will be pampering someone else,”
replied Rose, giving him a brilliant smile and patting her still flat stomach.
“Maybe you can sing that song. “What was it…“Come Josephine in My Flying
Machine…”
Jack threw back his head laughing. He was
pleased with his ideas and thrilled that Rose remembered every detail of what
he had ever said to her.
* * * * * * * * *
The Next Morning
“What kind of name is Marigold for a horse,”
asked Rose.
“That’s what the guy in the stable told me,”
answered Jack, trying to be serious. “Said it was because she is kind of gold
in color and used to eat marigolds when she was a colt.”
They were both seated on the back of
Marigold. Rose in front of Jack with him holding her tightly against him. Jack
had promised that they would ride in the surf. But when he had found out about
the baby, he insisted that they ride together, so he could keep a firm grip on
her.
They had awakened early and went down to the
little stable near the pier. The man at the stable told Jack they could borrow
Marigold for two hours for free. He’d not had much time to exercise that horse
and would be happy for someone to give her that attention.
They sat on the shore of the ocean. Out to
the west the night was passing down over the horizon. Behind them the sky was
just starting to glimmer with the gold of the sunrise in the east.
“Jack, can we just gallop in the surf? I
always wanted to do that.”
“I don’t see why not. Marigold here looks
like she is ready to go.”
Jack moved Rose back against him as close as
possible, then took the reins in both hands urging Marigold to go. The horse
took off eagerly. The water splashed up on Rose and Jack and the wind whipped
her hair around. Rose felt free and wild. With Jack behind her like this, she
felt she could do anything. They rode this way for awhile, until they reached
the end of the town of Santa Monica. Then he reined in the horse.
“Here we are at the horizon,” said Rose
breathlessly, breathing almost as hard as Marigold.
Her breath was taken away by the excitement
of the moment. For this was the place that she and Jack had talked about. A
place she never imagined she would reach with him.
“Yeah, this is it,” he agreed, speaking
softly.
For Jack too was overwhelmed by the fact that
he had promised in an innocent conversation when they hardly knew each other
that they would go here. And now here they were, husband and wife and a baby on
the way.
“Just think of the far away places that lie
out there over the horizon,” said Rose. “Why the next land out there is
probably Asia, or some tropical islands. And far away over there,” she said
pointing South, “is Australia. Maybe we’ll go to those places someday.”
“Maybe,” said Jack. “We’ll do a lot of things
Rose. I promise you that. But right now, I feel that we are kind of at our own
personal horizon.”
“Yes, you’re right,” agreed Rose. “We have
this baby coming. I don’t know a thing about babies. I have to come to terms
with my mother. I am not sure just where all this is taking us.”
“I know. I have this job that I know nothing
about. And then I want to go on with school. There are so many unknown things
ahead for us.”
“Stay right there,” said Jack, as he slid out
of the saddle.
He reached up for Rose.
“Come on. Come down for a minute,” he said.
He helped Rose down and took her hand. From
out of his pocket he took several carrots and held them out to Marigold. While
he loosely held the reins in one hand, he pulled Rose into a tight embrace with
the other.
“Just think, tomorrow we are going home. Home
to a place we don’t know. Home to Denver. It’s kind of scary isn’t it?” he
asked.
He held Rose so tightly she could only nod.
“But it’ll be alright Rose. I know it will
all work out,” he told her, as much to convince her as himself.
The daylight had come over the top of the
mountains. Across the water, the darkness was fading into the distance. The
brilliance of the Southern California sun was shining in their faces. The waves
washed in and out covering their bare feet in the sand. Marigold pawed the
ground, wanting another carrot, her harness jingling as she bobbed her head.
But Jack and Rose were oblivious to everything except each other.
Rose looked up at him.
“Kiss me Jack. Take me out to that horizon, where
there is only you and I. That will be our home, wherever we are together.”
She turned her face up towards him and gave
him a gentle smile. Slowly he bent his head to meet hers. Their lips came
together, joining their hopes, their dreams, their lives.