STARTING ANEW
Chapter Fifty-Four
Rose had just calmed down after the last
contraction when another wave of pain shot through her body. She bit her lips
and tried to count how long it lasted. She groaned and threw her hand over her
forehead. Her mother had just brushed her hair and gotten her into a clean
nightgown. Already she felt drenched from perspiration.
“I can’t do this,” she moaned. “Jack, Jack,”
she cried weakly.
She put her hands on her stomach and twisted
her legs under the covers. Looking over at the clock, it seemed that the pains
were coming about every five minutes.
“God, how is this going to happen? How can I
bear the pain? How can I do this?” she thought to herself.
Her mother had left the room to find some
more sheets and towels and Jack had gone downstairs to start boiling water and
get some scissors and twine. He had told her that he wanted things ready for
the doctor.
“Jack, Jack,” she called again. “Please come,
I need you, Jack,” she cried louder.
Jack heard her calling and was going back up
in a minute. He had started the water on the stove and had found a pan and the
other things he needed. Now he stood looking out the window. The storm was
increasing in intensity. The visibility was almost down to nothing. He could
not risk going out for the doctor now. They would never find their way back. No
one in their neighborhood had telephones yet. So he could not even call the
doctor and ask what to do. The reality of what was going to happen was just
sinking in on him. Finding towels and sheets and boiling the water were the easy
tasks of the day. The two hardest chores still lie ahead. One was telling Rose
that he was going to have to deliver their child. The other was actually doing
it.
“I got Rose in bed,” said Ruth, coming into
the kitchen.
“What?” asked Jack, shaken out of his
reverie.
“You told me to get Rose in bed,” she
repeated, giving him an odd look.
“Oh, thanks. Look at the weather out there,”
he told her, nodding his head at what was going on outside.
Ruth came closer to the window and gasped.
“How on earth will the doctor be able to
get?” she asked, putting her hand to her throat.
“That’s just the problem. That’s why I’m glad
you are here. There is no way anyone is coming out in this. I need your help,
Ruth,” said Jack, putting his hand on her shoulder.
“My help?” she asked incredulously.
He nodded his head.
“Yes, your help,” he repeated. “You’ve had a
baby. You must remember what to do.”
Ruth looked at Jack with a blank stare. What
could she say to him. How could she talk to him about something so embarrassing.
“What’s the matter?” he asked, noticing her
pale color.
Ruth took a long time answering. Finally she
found her voice.
“When Rose was born, I was afraid, ashamed.”
“Ashamed?” he asked. “It’s a perfectly
natural thing,” he went on.
“For some people yes. But not for me. I asked
to have chloroform. I don’t remember anything,” she admitted.
Jack put his hand to his forehead. This was a
worse mess than he expected. The only things that he knew about process of
birth itself, was what he remembered from the time his father had let him see a
calf being born. And he could hardly compare that to the birth of his own
child.
Suddenly Ruth’s eyes narrowed and she spoke
again.
“Of course, if you didn’t live in this
godforsaken place, or had exercised better judgment in the first place, you
wouldn’t be in this situation now,” she said bitingly.
Jack looked at Ruth, shocked. He thought she
had gotten beyond that kind of behavior. Now he had to deal with her on top of
everything else.
He moved closer to her and stood staring at
her before he spoke.
“You know that was an unfair and uncalled for
thing to say, Ruth,” he said quietly challenging her.
He was not about to give her any more
ammunition by shouting at her.
She put her head down and partially covered
her face with her hands. Ruth was quiet for a few seconds and then slowly she
looked at Jack again.
“You’re right, Jack. It was unfair. I’m
sorry. Sometimes I still can’t help it, even though I try so hard,” she told
him honestly.
“Listen, we both want the best for Rose. I’m
as concerned and nervous for her as you are,” trying to sound calm in the face
of this precarious situation.
Ruth looked at him and then shut her eyes.
She had never met such a forgiving, kind person.
“I know that neither Rose or I planned this
very well and we were asking for trouble that night. But it’s done now. And we
don’t have any regrets. We want this child.”
She was stunned as she listened to what he
said. It was almost an apology for what they had done on Titanic. Even Mr. High
and Mighty Hockley had never apologized to Ruth when he did things that he knew
annoyed her.
“Jack, I don’t know what to do, but I will
help you. I won’t turn squeamish on you. I will help,” she said trying to sound
confident.
She thought for a moment and spoke as if to
herself.
“After all, I am going to be a grandmother.”