STARTING ANEW
Chapter Six
"Rose, what's wrong?" asked Jack,
as he took both her hands and seated her next to him on the bench.
Rose cast her eyes downward. Her lips were
trembling and confusion reigned in her head. Jack took his finger and lifted
her chin so that she was forced to look at him. "He studied her face and
took a breath. This was no time to mince words. He had everything and nothing
to lose.
"Just get it out in the open,
Jack," he told himself. And so the words came out of his mouth,
"Rose, do you love me?"
Jack remembered asking her a similar question
a few weeks ago, when he wondered about her love for Cal. At that time there
was shock on her face. Maybe that was just what she needed, to be shocked back
into reality.
Rose looked at him, speechless at first. As
Jack gazed into her eyes, it seemed that he willed the words she spoke.
"Of course, I love you, Jack," she
said.
"Then what is going on here, Rose? Why
are you suddenly acting as though you are afraid of me, unsure of me?" he
asked.
"Oh, Jack," she said with tears
streaming down her face, "I'm so confused and afraid. You see, I was
always told that if a woman gives herself to a man before she is married, he was
just using her and would have no respect for her."
She stopped talking for a minute and rubbed
her eyes. She took the handkerchief that Jack handed her, but she only held it
tightly in her hands.
"I thought that was maybe that was what
you felt, Jack and that maybe you didn't want me anymore," she said
through her sniffles.
As Rose cried, Jack held her hands. His lips
were set in a firm expression. This was not a reaction he had expected from
her.
"Rose," he began, "if that is
something you learned from your mother or Cal, just forget it. I understand,
but that is not how it is with us. Do you hear me?"
Rose numbly nodded her head.
"Look, Rose," Jack sighed, "I
love you as much, if not more than before. Maybe things shouldn't have happened
that way, but it happened. And I still love you and have respect for you, Rose.
Do you understand?" he said tightening his grip on her hands to make an
impression.
Jack took his handkerchief out of her hand
and began wiping her tears. As he gently dried her cheeks, he continued,
"I want to be with you, share everything with you, learn with you. But I
will never tell you that you belong to me. I don't want that. I will always be
proud of you, but I want you to be free to be your own person."
Rose had stopped crying and she looked down
at their tightly grasped hands. To Rose, these ideas of his were so vastly
different from what Cal had in mind for her. With him she would have been on
display, have no ideas of her own and do whatever he told her. Jack's ideas
were such a contrast. With him she could have the security of his love, freedom
and respect. She would be a fool if she ever doubted Jack and his feelings for
her again.
She summoned up the courage to answer the
questioning look in his face. "Oh, Jack, I do love you, very much. And I'm
sorry for this, for making you feel bad again. I'm sorry. It's just that with
being sick and having too much time on my hands to think and wonder about
everything, I became very confused."
When she looked as is she were going to cry
again, Jack kissed her gently.
"Shh," he whispered as he smoothed
her hair. "It's okay, Rose. I understand, but you did have me a little
worried."
They both gave each other a quick smile.
"Let's enjoy the day. We'll do all the
things we talked about. And I hope you will be up to going somewhere special
for dinner," he said with his eyes twinkling. "What do you say,
Rose?"
She nodded and gave him a smile.
Jack stood up and pulled her up with him. He
would have loved to take her in his arms now and show her how much he loved
her. But this very public park, was not the place. Instead, he put his arm
around her and she rested her head against him as they made their way down the
path.
For the first time in three weeks, Rose
started to feel a little like she did that afternoon on Titanic, when she and
Jack had first kissed on the bow of the ship. She wondered why she had ever
doubted him. She trusted him enough that she was willing to give up everything
for him. Well, here she was with no money and no plans for the future, except
to be with him. She felt free and content now. She knew that somehow Jack had
always gotten by. They could make things work. She knew it. It would be hard,
but then didn't all worthwhile things take a little effort? Courage was slowly
building inside her. Life with Jack, would be something special indeed.
Jack smiled to himself. He was glad that he
had gotten Rose to open up to him. He had really wanted to talk a little more
about how things would work for them with Molly's help. But for right now he
was satisfied. He had Rose back where she belonged. Back where they had been
just before the iceberg struck.