TITANIC ROSE
Chapter One
Rose was almost frozen as she felt herself
being pulled into the boat. The men were grunting as they tried to drag her wet
body from the cold clutches of the ocean. It was silent now, except for a few
small waves that passed by. The quiet sounds they made echoed in Rose's mind,
as though she were inebriated on some kind of strong liquor. She knew what that
was like. But this feeling was quite overwhelming. It was hard to
explain. She felt her feet leave the cold water and enter the freezing air.
The chill was terrible, and Rose shivered
with so many thoughts. Her mind was clouded. Everything echoed, everything was
slow. Nothing seemed to move the way they usually did. She wanted to cry out
and say, "Stop it! Be normal!" But nothing stilled her dizziness, nor
the nausea she felt. Her stomach fluttered with an old illness, and she wanted
it to go away. She wanted everything to go away. The world seemed so abstract.
It was hard to believe it was real.
The boat pulled away from the bodies, perhaps
to return in the morning. Rose knew she would never see her beloved Jack again,
not even if she prayed with all her heart. Her shoulders began to shake and she
knew was about to weep again. But she couldn't. Rose had promised to be strong,
and she would be, if it meant never to cry. She knew the times of only
the purest happiness. And if that was the way it was meant to be, then that was
it. After all, you never knew what hand you would be dealt in life.
Rose smiled to remember Jack's words.
Everything he said was music to her ears, and she longed to hear more. If only
he were here beside her, comforting her and telling her it would be all right.
But he wasn't, and Rose was about to drift into unconsciousness again.
A cry in the dark. A scream muffled as it got
further away. The silent screams of those who were no longer there, but really
were. That was all Rose could hear in her deep sleep. All they wanted to do was
live, and that had been too much to ask. It was over. At least, her life with
Jack. But what about Cal? She grimaced and forced these thoughts to unclog her
mind. Her life was with Jack under the water, and she knew that was what she
wanted. Rose couldn't be bothered with thoughts of Cal or her mother, and never
wanted to be reminded of this voyage, ever again.
*****
All Rose remembered was waking up to the
early morning dawn. The sky was a gorgeous shade of pink and yellow, like a painting.
She had forgotten what had happened in the previous hours until she felt the
sense of cold drill through her body. Her hands were like ice, and her hair
glistened with the beads of frost. Her skin was white, and her entire body was
numb. She felt as though death had swept over, and still let her hang by a
thread. It was not pleasing, and she wished she had died. Perhaps she would be
warmer then.
"A ship!" a voice cried. Startled
by the sudden outburst of excitement, Rose attempted to sit up. She was
immediately pushed back by a steward.
"Please," he said. "It would
be better for your health if you remained lying down. You are weak, and barely
conscious."
"Don't tell me how I am!" Rose
snapped angrily. "I just wanted to see what the commotion was about. I
think I can decide how I feel." Her voice cracked, for it had frozen.
"And how do you feel?"
"Awful."
"Well, it looks as though you'll be
saved," the steward told her. "The Carpathia's come to our
rescue."
"There she is!"
"But I can't even move!" Rose
cried. "How am I supposed to board a ship like this?"
"I can help."
"I don't trust you. Who knows where you
will place your hands?"
"I am not in this for pleasure, Miss. I
did not greatly enjoy being thrown into this mass of water we call the Atlantic.
You should be happy I offered to help. You aren't the only one who lost
something."
"And what, pray tell, did you
lose?"
"My wife of three months, that's
who," the steward replied with a look of solemnity on his face. "I
tried to help her in, but I couldn't. I couldn't find her, and she found me. I
was the last boat, and she almost made it in, but..."
"I'm so sorry," Rose started.
"If I had known—I wish I could take back what I said."
"Well, you suffered a loss as well. I
guess I was expecting an explosion like that."
"You must think me rude. I'm really not,
or at least don't mean to be."
"I don't think you rude. You are
suffering, is all. My name is John Wilkes. You?"
"Uh..." Rose stuttered. If she told
him her name, he might report her to her mother and Cal. Then where would she
be? "Jane."
"Well, Jane, it looks as though we are
about to go down in history as survivors of the most tragic shipwreck in all of
history, eh?"
"I hope not."
*****
Tea? Perhaps coffee? No, that would only keep
her awake, and all Rose wanted to do was remain in a deep sleep until they
reach land. Tea would have to do.
Those around her on the deck of the Carpathia
were those from steerage. The passengers who had been already on board would
glance at her. Their faces were mixed with different feelings, some pity,
others with questions. Rose tried to avoid the stares and averted her eyes.
The woman next to her continued to weep. The
daughter dried her eyes. Rose recalled seeing them on her visit with Jack to
steerage. What a wonderful night that had been! But now it was the past. She
hated it!
"Put your hands on me, Jack."
The words raced though her head, echoing from
every wall of her mind. She couldn't get them to leave. They were permanently
etched in every crevice of her humanly existence.
"Put your hands on me, Jack."
"Stop," she mumbled to herself. "I
can't take anymore of this."
"Put your hands on me, Jack."
"Put your hands on me, Jack."
"Put your hands on me, Jack."
"Put your hands on me, Jack."
"No!" Rose sprang from her seat,
spilling tea around her feet on the deck.
"Are you quite all right?" asked a
voice.
"John!" Rose cried. "What are
you doing here?"
"Just searching. I thought perhaps Maria—"
"She'll show up. Trust me. Maybe you
weren't the last boat. Maybe someone picked her up from the water. I heard
rumors of another ship."
"Thank you, Jane, but I am not a very
optimistic person. Did you lose anyone?"
"Yes." Rose saddened a bit.
"The love of my life. He died in my arms before I whistled for the boat. He
didn't have a lifebelt."
"Ah…" John said. "I'm sorry. I
hope everything works out for the best."
"I do, too."
What was to come after that day was
unexpected, and certainly not in Rose's near plans.