TITANIC ROSE
Chapter Three
John had been startled, of course. He thought
Rose had been married to the love of her life, who had died in her arms. Now, he
found out differently.
Rose was worried about him. He refused to
speak with her, for she was going to have a child out of wedlock, and John
thought it was improper. She was terrified of what was about to take place in
her life, and really wished John would help her. She didn't need him to be
stubborn right now. She walked down the stairs in a robe that used to belong to
John's wife, Maria. It suited Rose perfectly, perfect enough to get John's
attention as she came into the kitchen. "John, we really have to talk.
Don't be mad at me. I was planning on marrying Jack as soon as the Titanic
docked. I promise you, we were in love."
"It doesn't matter. You weren't married.
That child has no father."
"Yes, it does, and his name is
Jack!"
"Do you know what people will say? They
will think I am the father because you are living here. People will ridicule
me. You can't stay here anymore."
"What?" Rose cried. "I can't
leave now! Do you expect me to give birth on the street?"
"Do what you must. But you must not
remain in my house!"
"John, please. I will tell people it's
not your child. I know I said I would leave within a week, but I have been ill.
Do you understand? Please, help me! I can't work in this condition.
Please!" She was begging now, and had fallen to her knees out of weakness.
John just looked at her with anger and sipped
his coffee. He poured some vodka in it and drank some more. He looked back at
Rose. She was extremely pale, and her lips were turning blue. He did
care for this poor girl. She had lost the man she loved and the father of her
child. She had no place to go, and it was cold in the city. She knew not how to
work for money to care for herself.
"Please, John."
"You must promise to stay in the house,
and rarely go outside. Do you understand me?"
"Anything. I just want to have Jack's
child. He's gone now, and I love him. I still do."
"Go upstairs. Sleep. You look
awful."
Rose did as she was told. She wanted sleep,
for she had been up all night trying to find out what she could possibly do.
She was the epitome of confusion. John noticed this and took pity on her.
Besides, he had feelings for her. He didn't know why. She was beautiful and
kind, and depended on him for everything. He knew he had an advantage...
*****
"I can't eat that!" Rose told John.
"I'll never keep it down. This morning is worse than any other."
"You have to eat something. You haven't
eaten in days. What about the baby? It needs nutrition. Please eat
something."
"I'll just have some tea, if it's all
right with you. I can't eat, John. I'm sorry."
The past month have been a nightmare. This
pregnancy looked at though it wouldn't last long. But Rose was determined to
give birth to Jack's child. It would be a memory of him, forever. John's
feelings had grown more and more for Rose. Moreso than his feelings for Maria.
He was frightened of what had come over him. He shouldn't be doing this. Not
when he should be preserving his thoughts of his deceased wife. But he couldn't
control himself. He wanted Rose to be his forever.
"Are you all right, John? You just are
staring into space. Are you sure you're all right?"
"I'm fine. I'm just worrying about you
too much. I think we should call the doctor back."
"Oh, nonsense! I will be perfectly fine.
My mother lay in bed with me for six months before I was born, and look how I
turned out!"
"Where is your mother,
Rose?"
"My mother?" Rose stopped drinking
the tea and looked up at John. She realized she had been lying to him these
entire two months. Nothing she had told him about her previous life was true.
"My mother's died." In a way, she was dead for Rose. She didn't
exist. Even though her mother was extant didn't mean she had to exist.
"Oh, so sorry."
"Don't be."
The pain in her stomach grew stronger, and
she placed the tea on the table. "I think I'll go back to bed, John. I
still feel a little ill."
"All right, Rose. I'll see you at
dinner. You must eat sometime today. For the baby."
Rose placed her hand on her stomach and
massaged the pain. "For the baby," she repeated.
Eating had become a real pain. Rose couldn't
keep anything down except for some drinks and dry toast. But that wasn't going
to help the baby. It was hungry, while Rose was not. She hadn't even begun to
show yet. As a matter of fact, she was losing weight.
*****
John entered the bedroom and looked at his
beautiful Rose. She was sitting up and reading a novel.
"Oh, hello, John. I'm not hungry."
"Yes, I know. You always say that. Rose,
I am very worried about you. Four months into pregnancy. You should be showing
now."
"Do you think I'm a fool?! I know
that! John, I am so worried about my baby, and I have no idea what labor is
going to be like. Or even if I will ever experience labor. Tell me my child
will live, John. Please tell me!"
Rose had begun to weep, and John rushed over
to her side to comfort her. He wanted any excuse to hug this woman whom he had
grown strong feelings for. He wanted to marry her, but knew she wasn't ready.
Not after Jack...
"I want this baby," Rose's muffled
voice said into his chest. "I love Jack, and I want his child. Lie to me
if you must, but tell me my baby will live!"
"I'll tell you anything," John
replied, running his fingers through Rose's silky hair. "Anything you
want, I'll do."
Rose felt nauseous and leaned back against
the headboard of the large bed. "I feel awful. It was bad enough losing
Jack, but his child—"
She placed her hand on her stomach and tried
to will the baby to live. Rose wanted to be a mother. She wanted Jack to be the
father of her children, and she wanted this to be it. It was her only chance to
give Jack a legacy of his own.
"It hurts. It hurts so much, John.
Please, call the doctor. I want all the help I can get so that this baby will
live."
*****
Rose donned her black bonnet and simple black
dress. It was Jacqueline Ruth Dawson's funeral, and Rose wanted her daughter to
see her mother one last time.
"Are you ready, Rose?" John asked,
placing a hand on Rose's shoulder. He could see how weak she was, and how frail
she had become.
"I'll never be ready for the funeral of
my own daughter," Rose replied sadly. She looked in the mirror one last
time before they headed towards the cemetery.
Five months. It had been an entire five
months since she had met and lost Jack. She had survived, but not the way Jack
had probably wanted her to. I lost his child, Rose thought to herself in
the car. How will he ever forgive me?
She placed a lily on Jacqueline's grave, a
tiny diadem for the angel she loved. "I love you," Rose whispered to
the coffin as it was lowered. "Tell your father in heaven that I love and
miss him, too."
These words stung John, who had thought
perhaps Jack was forgotten. But no. Jacqueline's birth and death after only
five months had only made Rose love and miss Jack himself more.
They drove home. The rain pounded on the
earth, leaving an echoing sound on the inside of the black car.