TITANIC ROSE
Chapter Forty-Three
May 20, 1918
"Mrs. Calvert! Mrs.
Calvert!"
Rose turned in surprise as one of
the nurses called to her, stopping her just before she reached the
receptionist’s desk.
"Yes, Nurse Peterson? Can I
help you with something?"
"Mrs. Calvert, it’s about
your husband."
Rose frowned, a little worried.
It had been two days since she had learned that Thomas was alive, and this was
the first time she had been back to the hospital to see him. She had intended
to go the day before, but both of the twins had been sick with some sort of
stomach bug, and she hadn’t wanted to either take them out of the house or
leave them with anyone.
Today, after finishing filming
early in the morning, she had driven to the hospital, hoping against hope that
this time Thomas would show some sign of recognizing her. She had attempted to
speak to him that first day, but he had given no response, in spite of the
other men egging him on to acknowledge his wife.
She had managed to keep the
children from realizing he was there—she didn’t want them to see their father
and then be hurt if he didn’t recognize them. She didn’t know quite what had
happened to her husband, but she did wonder if his failure to recognize her now
was in any way related to his having been missing for so many months.
"What about my
husband?" Rose asked, abruptly coming back to the present.
"Well, Mrs. Calvert, he…he
refuses to speak to anyone. We know that he can speak—one of the night nurses
heard him talking in his sleep the day he first came to the hospital—but he
won’t speak to any of us while he’s awake, or to the doctors or other patients.
He’s been here two days, and he has yet to consciously speak to any of
us."
Rose nodded. "He didn’t
acknowledge that he knew me that day, but…could he have suffered some sort of
head trauma?"
Nurse Peterson nodded.
"That’s what his records from the army indicate. He was in a hospital in
Switzerland for months. He called himself Thomas Dawson there—he may have been
thinking that your screen name was his last name—and even when it was
discovered that he is actually Thomas Calvert, he refused to acknowledge his
real name."
"I was on my way to see him,
but I don’t know if I can convince him that Calvert is his real name, or
convince him to speak."
Nurse Peterson shifted nervously.
"We were hoping that you would try to talk to him. You’ve had some success
at bringing traumatized men out of their shells before, and we hoped that you
would be able to help him. And he is your husband, after all. You’ve been
hoping to have him come back for months."
"Yes." Rose nodded.
"Yes, I have. That was one of the reasons that I started volunteering
here. I was hoping that he would be brought here, no matter what condition he
was in. But now that he’s here—I don’t know why he doesn’t recognize me. I’m
his wife. We’ve been together for almost six years. I didn’t even tell the
children that he’s here, because I didn’t want them to be hurt if he didn’t
remember them."
"Sometimes people who’ve had
head injuries suffer from amnesia. There’s different depths of amnesia, and it
may be that he would remember them, but not you. It may even be that he
remembers some things about you, but not others—after all, he did call himself
Dawson, which is your screen name. The doctors do all that they can, but
sometimes it just takes time, and sometimes…sometimes things never do get
better. But I do know that you’re very good at bringing the men out of their
shells, and your are his wife…who knows? Maybe spending time with you is just
what he needs."
Rose sighed, her hands tightening
on her purse. She had tucked pictures of the family into it, hoping that they would
spark something in his memory. Finally, she nodded.
"I came here to see him
anyway, so I’ll do what I can. What room is he in?"
"He’s in the first room on
the second floor. I’ll take you there and tell the doctor what you’re going to
be doing."
"All right." Rose took
a deep breath, hoping that this time he would know who she was, hoping that
this time, he would acknowledge her presence.
*****
"Thomas?" Rose entered
the room uncertainly, her hands clenched tightly around the handle of her
purse.
Thomas turned from where he was
sitting in his wheelchair, gazing out the window. He almost smiled at the sight
of his wife, but stopped himself in time. He couldn’t let her know that he
remembered her. Not until he knew how she felt about him.
Sighing, he turned back to the
window, not acknowledging her. It hurt to see her there, so beautiful and
hopeful. She didn’t know yet about his missing leg, and he didn’t want to think
about how her expression would change when she found out.
"Thomas?" Rose took a
chair from beside one of the beds and set it next to him, sitting beside him.
"How are you feeling today?"
He almost answered, but instead
shrugged and went back to looking out the window after a quick glance at her.
"Thomas…" Rose paused,
not sure what to say. It had been easier to talk to men that she didn’t know,
easier to know what to say. Thomas was her husband, and if she said the wrong
thing…she might ruin things for both of them.
"Thomas, about the other day…I’m
sorry if I embarrassed you. I was so glad to see you—you’d been missing since
January, and all that time I’d been hoping that you’d come back. And when I saw
you—I couldn’t help but run to you. I’ve missed you so much…"
He didn’t answer. Frustrated,
Rose turned to look directly at him. "Nurse Peterson told me that you’ve
refused to speak to anyone. Why is that, Thomas? You always liked talking to
people before, and we know that you can speak—she said you were talking in your
sleep the other night. Why won’t you speak to anyone now?"
Thomas looked at her. He longed
to pull her into his arms and kiss her, to tell her how much he loved her, to
ask her how the children and his sister were doing. But he couldn’t do that. It
would be easier to let her love for him fade away from neglect than to have her
reject him outright.
Instead, he shrugged, then
casually reached to rub the healing stump of his leg. Rose’s eyes followed the
motion, widening when she saw that his leg was missing.
"Oh, Thomas…I didn’t know.
Why didn’t you tell me you’d lost a leg?"
He still didn’t answer. Sighing,
Rose placed a hand on his knee. "Does it hurt very much?"
He just put his hands in his lap,
not acknowledging the question.
Hurt and frustration surged up
inside Rose. Why wouldn’t he speak to her?
"Thomas, please, talk to me.
I’m your wife. You can tell me anything."
Thomas glanced at her, debating
whether to speak to her. She hadn’t reacted as he had feared to his missing
leg, but still…
He sighed, deciding at last to
speak to her. "It doesn’t hurt much."
Rose looked at him in surprise,
amazed that he had spoken to her. Thomas misunderstood her surprise, believing
that she was surprised at his lack of pain.
"It’s been several
months," he told her. "It’s nearly healed now."
"Thomas, that’s wonderful,
but…why didn’t you tell me before? You saw me the other day."
"You don’t know me. You’re a
pretty girl, and a moving picture actress, but why would you be interested in
whether my leg hurt or not?"
Rose gritted her teeth in
frustration. "Thomas, I do know you. Didn’t you hear me say that I’m your
wife?"
"I don’t know you. How can
you be my wife? What would a movie star be doing with me?"
There. The question was out. He
had asked it.
"I was your wife long before
I was an actress. We have three children."
That didn’t quite answer his
question, but he couldn’t rephrase it without acknowledging that he remembered
her.
Rose sighed, looking at him. She
reached into her purse. "Look, Thomas. I brought pictures of our family.
This is us on our wedding day. And this is a portrait taken just before you
left of all of us. This is Andrew, and these youngsters are Jack and Lora. Lora
is named for your sister."
"I have a sister?"
"Yes. She’s a nurse. She’s
going to come to see you as soon as she can. She’s been working long hours,
with wounded soldiers brought back from the war and everything."
"Do you have a picture of
her?"
"Yes, I do." Rose
shuffled through the photographs, finally finding one of Thomas and Lora two
summers before.
Thomas stared at the picture for
a few minutes, then took a photo of the three children and examined it.
"They look like wonderful
children."
"They are, and they miss you
very much. Thomas, please. They want you to come home, especially Andrew. The
twins are very young and don’t quite understand, but Andrew does, and he misses
you very much. How long do you think you’ll be here?"
He shrugged. "I don’t
know."
"Then I’ll bring them here
to see you."
"But I don’t remember them. You’ve
shown me these pictures, but how do I know they’re real. How do I know you’re
not just someone I met and had pictures taken with?"
Rose sighed. "Thomas, you
are my husband and the children’s father. Trust me on that." She showed
him the ring on her finger, which she took off only for filming. "You gave
me this ring on our wedding day, and you have one that matches it…" She
looked at his left hand. "Thomas, where’s your ring?"
"What ring?"
"Your wedding ring."
"I didn’t know I had one.
I’m still not sure you’re my wife. Why don’t I remember you?"
"Nurse Peterson said that
you had some kind of head trauma. That’s probably why you don’t remember me. As
to your ring…you had one. Perhaps you lost it when you were in Europe, but it
looked just like this one, but bigger."
Thomas looked at the ring on her
finger, remembering their wedding day. He clearly remembered putting the ring
on her finger, and her putting a ring on his, but he honestly had no idea what
had happened to his ring. He might have lost it or had it stolen while he was
in the war.
"If I ever had one. Forgive
me, Miss Dawson—"
"Rose. Or Mrs. Calvert, if
you don’t believe I’m your wife."
"All right. Mrs. Calvert. I
don’t remember any of this. You’re a beautiful movie star, and I don’t know why
you’d be with me, or what you’d want with me now, a man with no memory and
missing a leg."
Rose stared at him, her heart
sinking. He truly didn’t remember her, and he truly seemed to believe that she
was playing a game with him, though for what reason, she couldn’t fathom. And
why would his missing leg make any difference to her?
But somehow, he seemed to believe
that it did.