UNABLE TO STAY, UNWILLING TO LEAVE
Chapter Two

"Get in the boat. I'll be all right. I'm a survivor, remember?" Jack urged her, hoping to convince himself that he was indeed. All he saw reflected in her eyes was the same fear and the same dread that was tearing at his own soul. She wouldn't budge, and continued to hold on with great force to his arms, desiring to never leave him. He didn't want her to go, but now it was a matter of life and death, a time for him to not be selfish.

Cal moved toward them again, taking a deep breath before he spoke. "I have an arrangement with an officer on the other side of the ship." He looked at Jack for a moment. The only thought that crossed Jack's mind was the arrangement was for just Cal and Rose. For a brief moment, though, he could have sworn he saw compassion and understanding in the man's dark eyes. "Jack and I can get off safely." Then, looking once again at Jack, realizing he had to say it, he told them, "Both of us."

Rose looked to Jack for some reaction, unsure of what to believe and what to fight. Every fiber in her being told her to stay with him, no matter what, even if it meant her death. Jack looked down at the deck, gathering whatever strength he could muster. He didn't know how he found it, and he certainly was unsure how he should interpret Cal's honesty. Still, to his own shock, he was willing to work with Cal in order to save Rose, letting her live the life she craved, and which he had already obtained. "You see? I got my own boat to catch," he shared, barely able to voice the lie.

"Go on. They're almost full," Cal pleaded, as Rose's deep blue eyes darted between the two men, wanting to flee from her fiancé, and never wanting to part from the man she loved with all her heart.

Suddenly, a hand roughly grabbed her arm, and dragged her toward the edge, toward the boat that would leave her with one last memory of Jack Dawson. "Step aboard, miss." She could feel her body fighting the man's force as her feet went with him, the fear urging them onward. Glancing back, she quickly took hold of Jack's hand as she stepped into the boat. Just that tiny bit of contact with him reached into every part of her soul. Their eyes locked, and for the first time, Jack realized the sadness she had felt just days before on the stern. It was the same as he was feeling at that moment.

With a paralyzing force, the steward shoved Jack away, unlocking their final grasp on each other. Rose's breath caught with a sob, and the sadness took hold of Jack's heart. "Get back! Lower away!"

The boat jolted as women gasped, and then it began its agonizing journey to the water's surface, with only unspoken words flowing between Jack and Rose. He watched her briefly, nodding as an encouragement that everything would be all right.

Then, he quickly remembered the despair of the situation as Cal remarked while watching her go, "You're a good liar."

He waited until her eyes looked down to observe everything around her. "Almost as good as you." His eyes couldn't leave their view of her. Jack decided to speak the truth he knew was evident. "There’s…uh…there's no arrangement, is there?"

"Oh, there is." Jack looked up, surprised. Maybe he had underestimated Cal. Then, whatever hope he had was dashed by the triumphant sneer in those eyes of hate. "Not that you'll benefit much from it."

A dagger reached through Jack's heart, as now he let every ounce of dread, fear, and heartache that he had kept hidden from Rose overflow his senses. Still, the contempt he felt for Cal blocked his tears from forming. The older man turned to stare at him, and Jack could see just a twinge of guilt in his own reflection. "I always win, Jack, one way or another." Then, Cal turned back to watch Rose's departure from the ship, cherishing the thought of their reunion and inevitable marriage.

For a moment, Jack's heart nearly stopped. The full range of emotions he was feeling couldn't contain themselves anymore, and the tears welled up within his crystal eyes. Turning back, he watched Rose with awe and admiration, trying to remain strong in spite of the shattering and pounding of his heart. He didn't want to waste one second of his precious last view of her.

It all seemed to be going in slow motion, all sound fading. The cries of the men around dwindled down until it was just him and Rose, and the passion he felt ripping like a torrential flood through his soul. Never in his life had he ever met or felt as connected to anyone as he had become with Rose within these last two days. Suddenly, her eyes looked up to him, wide with disbelief and misery. They were filled with despair, and pleaded to have him with her.

Jack would have given anything to be with her, to hold and comfort her. He didn't know why God did the things he did, but he knew God had brought them together, even if just for such a short time, for some reason. Still, he felt angry at everything, deep down inside him. Angry at how, even despite their willingness to be together, they were still being kept apart, their hands and spirits being ripped from each other. Then, the feelings of concern and overwhelming affection spread through him. He grew fearful. Would he be able to survive and make it to her? Would she remain strong and fiery? How awful would her situation with Cal be? Did she still have it in her to leave behind the false engagement? Could she go on living with the zest for life that he loved and cherished?

All the plans they had for a life together...

"Say we'll go there sometime, to that pier."

"We'll drink cheap beer, we'll ride on the roller coaster until we throw up, and then afterwards we'll ride horses right in the surf. But you'll have to do it like a real cowboy. None of that sidesaddle stuff."

"You mean, one leg on each side? Can you show me?"

"Sure, if you like."

The memories caused a blow unimaginable, and Jack felt the air go out of his lungs. Would she ride the horse without him? Would she ever see the pier, and be as able to head for the horizon whenever she felt like it?

"To making it count."

Had he really made every moment with her count?

"I'm fine. I'll be fine. Really."

Jack was unsure if she really would be.

"I'm flying!"

Tears formed in the corners of his eyes, as he remembered every smell, feeling, and sensation he had felt as they had kissed with such wanton passion and fire on the bow.

"Jack, I want you to draw me like one of your French girls. Wearing this. Wearing only this."

His heart melted at the thought.

"Put your hands on me, Jack."

Suddenly, his hands began to tremble as he recalled the passion he felt for her, the pure love unlike any other he had ever witnessed or felt.

"When this ship docks, I'm getting off with you."

"This is crazy."

"I know. It doesn't make any sense. That’s why I trust it."

She never would be getting off with him in New York. All their hopes and dreams were being shattered by the destiny around them.

He just watched her for endless moments, praying he would be with her again, but mostly praying she would be safe and warm. Her auburn hair blew in slow motion as she gazed up at him, while descending away from him at the same moment, the fear and love shining with a fire, bright in her soul, through her eyes back at him. Even in the midst of chaos, with her shaggy and ransacked appearance, she was stunningly beautiful to him. Jack could almost see her wall fall. A rocket burst outlined both of them in a halo of light, making Rose appear even more of an angel in his life. She had saved him, and given him so much. He needed her more than he thought she needed him.

By now, tears were pouring down both of their faces. Then she was moving, lunging across the women next to her. Jack knew what she was doing as she jumped across to the deck of Titanic, barely clinging to the side of the ship as the men pulled her over onto the sinking ship. His heart nearly burst, both from jubilation and terror. She wouldn't be safe anymore.

Cal yelled, "Stop her!"

But Jack stared down after her. "Rose! What are you doing?"

But she was beyond his vision, running to where he stood. He couldn't stand to just wait. He had to hold her, comfort her, and love her. Throwing the blanket down, he raced to the staircase.

Chapter Three
Stories