AN UNFORGETTABLE JOURNEY
Chapter Nine

When Rose woke up the next morning, she felt slightly ill from the beer she’d had the night before. But she smiled when she thought of Jack. He had made her feel so special last night. They had ended their night very late. Jack had shown her his world. He had given her the tuxedo that Molly had lent him.

"Will you return this to Molly for me? I doubt that I’ll be able to get into first class to return it myself," he had said.

Rose smiled. Last night had been wonderful! Her grumbling stomach made her think of the present. She knew that breakfast was waiting for her.

After quickly putting on a light robe and tying her hair back, she headed out to the their private promenade deck, where Cal was waiting. He was unusually quiet that morning. Trudy brought their breakfast out, then left them to eat after asking if there was anything else they needed.

Cal was trying to keep his temper under control. "I had hoped that you would come to me last night," he said in a low voice.

She looked at him for a moment. "I was tired," she said simply.

He gritted his teeth. "Your exertions below decks were no doubt exhausting," he said, barely able to contain his anger.

She looked at him darkly. It’s so like him. I should have expected him to send Mr. Lovejoy to check up on me, she thought. She was so tired of having to explain her every move to him. "I see you had that undertaker of a manservant follow me. How typical," she said in a tight voice.

Cal was having much trouble containing his temper. He needed to find a way to get through to her. "You will never behave like that again, Rose," he said, in a low, commanding voice.

She wanted to scream inside. I’ve had it! How dare they tell me how to behave, walk, talk, and dress? I can’t take it anymore! She looked Cal in the eye, defiantly. "I'm not a foreman in one of your mills that you can command. I am your fiancée." She said it much more calmly than she actually felt.

His dark eyes flashed angrily. How dare she talk back to me! "My fiancee--my fiancée! Yes, you are!" he yelled as he sent their breakfast dishes along with the table crashing to the floor. He looked at her threateningly, his face only inches from hers. She could feel herself trembling as she saw the rage in his cold, dark eyes. "You are my wife in practice, if not yet by law, and you will honor me. You will honor me like a wife is required to honor her husband, because I will not be made out a fool, Rose. Is this in any way unclear?"

She looked at him, tears in her eyes. "No," she managed to get out.

He displayed a tight smile that was almost a sneer. "Good…excuse me."

She watched him leave as she tried unsuccessfully to catch her breath. She got up on wobbly legs to clean up the mess that now lay all over the floor. She had never seen him blow up like that before, and it scared her. Who knew what he was capable of?

Trudy rushed into the room, insisting that Rose let her clean up the mess. "We--we had an--accident Trudy," Rose tried to explain, but she could barely get the words out of her mouth. All she could do was sit on the floor, watching as Trudy cleaned up the mess. She put her hand over her chest, trying desperately to calm her erratically beating heart. She couldn’t help thinking that Jack would never have done something like that. She wished with all her heart that she could be with him at that moment. Little did she know that Jack was wishing the same thing.

After Trudy finished cleaning up the mess on the deck, Rose got up to go into the sitting room. But when she heard Cal’s voice, she stopped, not wanting to see him. She was getting ready to go back to the table that was now sitting upright, when his words stopped her. She listened closely. He was talking to Mr. Lovejoy in a low voice, but she could still make out his words.

"Mr. Lovejoy, if Rose should ever go near Mr. Dawson again, I want you to take care of him. Make him realize that associating with Rose will have disastrous results," Cal instructed his manservant.

Rose put her trembling hand over her mouth. Oh, Jack, I have to tell you to leave me alone, for your safety. A tear ran down her cheek. I really am trapped. Cal will never let me have any will of my own, and Mother will help him make sure of that. Rose turned to look out one of the windows on the deck. I should have jumped that night, she thought as she looked down at the swirling ocean. She smiled when she thought of Jack, coming to her rescue. If I had jumped, I wouldn’t have had the chance to spend any time with him. Yesterday had been the best day of her life. She felt extremely depressed, because she knew that there would be not be another day like it.

*****

Jack was angry. After finding a way to sneak into first class, he had eventually found Rose in the middle of a church service. But as soon as he got to the doors separating him from Rose, that manservant of Cal’s wouldn’t let him anywhere near her. Now, he was trying to find an alternate way to get to her. He finally found a way back into the first class area by climbing over the rail of the promenade deck. There were two gentlemen and a young boy nearby, but luckily, they didn’t see him. Jack was about to proceed down the walkway when a coat and a hat caught his eye. The two gentlemen and the little boy still had their backs to him. He had never stolen anything before in his life, but if he was to get to Rose without getting kicked out of first class, than he’d have to look like a first class man. He quickly put the coat and hat on, trying to hide his old third class clothes. He’d return the clothes as soon as he could; right now the only thing that was important was getting to Rose. He had the awful feeling that something was wrong.

He made his way up to the boat deck. He had no idea were he'd find her, but he figured that the boat deck was as good a place as any to start looking. He was quite surprised when he saw her approaching with her mother, Cal, and Thomas Andrews. Jack quickly turned toward the ocean, hiding his face so they wouldn’t see him when they walked by. He could hear their conversation. Rose was asking why there were only lifeboats for half of the passengers aboard.

"I had these new davits put in that would hold another row of boats, but it was thought, by some, that the deck would looked too cluttered, so I was outvoted," Mr. Andrews replied.

Jack tuned the rest of their conversation out, praying that they wouldn’t notice him.

Luckily for him, they didn’t. Rose stayed behind a second longer to look at the boats. This gave Jack the opportunity to get her attention without being noticed. He grabbed her arm, and pulled her into the gymnasium. They were completely alone.

"Jack, this is impossible. I can’t see you anymore," she protested.

Her words were like a knife to his heart. But he had to get out what he needed to tell her or it would drive him crazy. He took off the borrowed hat and held it in his hands. "I need to talk to you," he insisted.

She protested, her eyes pleading with him. "Jack, I'm engaged. I'm marrying Cal…I love Cal," she said, although she knew that this last part was a lie. How could she love someone who treated her the way Cal did?

He took a deep breath. With his hands on her shoulders, he began, "Rose, you’re no picnic. You’re a spoiled little brat, even! But…" He smiled before continuing. "But under that, you’re the most amazingly astounding, wonderful girl…woman that I've ever known, and I…"

"Jack, I…" She interrupted him, but he had to get out what he was having trouble saying.

"No, wait. Let me get this out. You're amazing…" Why couldn’t he just say it? He paused, then decided to take a different approach. "I'm not an idiot. I know how the world works. I have ten bucks in my pocket, and I've nothing to offer you. I know that, and I understand."

She looked at him, trying to hide her emotions for his sake. She knew that she couldn’t see him anymore.

"But I'm too involved now. You jump, I jump, right? I can’t turn away without knowing that you'll be all right. That’s all I want," he finished, relieved to finally say what he needed to say.

She looked at him, taking in a shaky breath. "I'm fine, really," she said.

But Jack wasn’t convinced. "Are you really? Because I don’t think you are. They’ve got you trapped, Rose!" he cried passionately. "And you’re gonna die if you don’t break free. Maybe not right away because you’re strong, but sooner or later, Rose…that fire that I love about you..." He moved closer to her, his lips so close to hers. "Rose, that fire is going to burn out."

She was really shaken by his words. She looked into his pleading eyes, and felt a strong desire to kiss him. But Cal’s words echoed through her ears.

"Take care of him."

She shuddered at the thought. She looked at Jack, prepared to make him see that he had to leave her alone. "It’s not up to you to save me, Jack."

He looked at her seriously. "I know. Only you can do that."

She knew that he was right, but she was already in too deep.

"I'm going back. Leave me alone," she said in a choked voice before leaving the gymnasium.

After her exit, the door closed, and so did his hope. Without realizing it, he let the hat in his hands drop to the floor, forgotten in his pain.

Rose rushed to catch up with her mother and Cal. She didn’t know how she would explain her brief disappearance, and she wasn’t sure that she even wanted to try. She felt extremely perplexed. Jack’s words kept running through her mind.

"That fire that I love about you, Rose, that fire is going to burn out."

She knew how he felt now. And she felt awful for having hurt him the way she had. She could see it in his eyes, the way that he felt about her. Which made her feel all the guiltier. You were so honest with me, and I lied straight to your face, she thought as she hurried further down the deck. She could see her mother and Cal talking with Mr. Andrews up ahead. But I did it for you, Jack, to protect you. She couldn’t even imagine what she would do if anything happened to him.

A few moments later she caught up to them. "Where have you been, Rose?" Cal asked kindly.

But she could tell that his kind voice was for Mr. Andrews’ benefit. Cal never liked a scene. In his eyes, she saw the suspicion and anger at her disappearance.

"I stopped for a moment to see the gymnasium. I'm sorry if I worried you, darling," she explained. After all, it wasn’t a complete lie; she had been in the gymnasium. He forced a smile; them offered his arm for her to take.

"Rose, shall we go back to our suites to freshen up for tea?" Ruth asked, looking back at her daughter.

Oh, great, another boring tea gathering. Well, at least Cal will be occupied in the smoking room for a while. She hid her thoughts with a smile. "Of course, Mother."

Mr. Andrews excused himself. "It’s been a pleasure talking with you, but I must attend to some business now. Enjoy your tea, ladies," he said before leaving.

"Mr. Hockley, will you kindly escort us back to our suites?" Ruth asked.

He nodded. "Of course, ladies. It’s my pleasure."

They continued on to B Deck. Rose felt like screaming the whole way.

Chapter Ten
Stories