UNTITLED STORY
Chapter Three
Cal trudged slowly through the crowds of
people. He came to the stairs leading down to the main area and continued
looking over the crowds as he descended.
"Sir, you won’t find any of your people
down here. It’s all steerage," he heard a steward tell him.
Ignoring the man, he continued scanning the
people. Many of them were weeping. Others sat quietly, awaiting what was next.
He came across a figure and his gaze stopped to study it. It was a woman with a
long coat wrapped in a blanket. When he moved closer, the woman pulled the
blanket up over her head and turned so that he could not see her face. He
stared at her for a few moments, until she got up and went inside. He knew now
that Rose must indeed have perished in the sea with her beloved gutter rat. He
looked at his feet then and rage filled his mind. Cal always won, or so he
thought. Only this time he had lost more than he ever could have thought. The
moans and sobs of the people around him brought him back to reality. He had to
get away from these filthy people. He couldn’t stand to be there one second
longer. He hurried back up the stairs and back to where he had left Ruth. He
had no idea what he would tell her or what he should do next.
*****
Ruth sat in the common first class area, deep
in thought. Molly was there, and was asking if there was a survivor list. She
tried to think of what it would be like if Rose were here. She realized deep
down that Rose had been unhappy to marry Cal. Ruth had been in a similar
situation when she was Rose’s age. She had had a fiery spirit then, and had
fallen in love with a man who was employed in her father’s house. Her parents
did not allow the relationship to continue, and had fired the man when they
learned of their secret meetings. Instead, she had been forced into a marriage
her parents had arranged with a wealthy banker’s son. This tore her heart into
pieces and she vowed to never fall in love again, even with her own husband.
She did quite like him and he tried very hard to please her, but the love she
had felt for her first was never completely extinguished. She buried her
feelings deep down under the facade of happiness that was expected of women
with her social status. When she realized that Rose had the same spirit she had
had once, she knew she had to do everything she could to control her and
prevent her from the same heartache she had experienced. Rose’s will had proven
too strong, though, and she realized her failure as a mother, not only in attempting
to control Rose’s every move, but also in forcing her into a marriage she did
not want. Her husband had tried to persuade her to let Rose do as she pleased,
but she had refused to give in. She thought she knew what was best for her
daughter, and now she knew that what she thought was best had taken Rose from
her.
What would happen to her now? She thought
back to the conversation in Rose’s stateroom…
"Do you want to see me working as a
seamstress? Is that what you want? To see our fine things sold at auction…our
memories scattered to the winds?." She hadn’t heard the selfishness in her
own voice.
"It’s so unfair…"
"Of course it’s unfair. We’re women!
Our choices are never easy."
Just then, she knew what she had to do. She
knew she had to mourn Rose in her own way, and the only way she could do that
was to let the consequences fall where they may. She would not ask Mr. Hockley
for any help or money. She would find her own way. She owed Rose’s memory at
least that. When they returned to New York, Ruth DeWitt Bukater would be a
changed woman. The Titanic tragedy had changed many lives already. Why
shouldn’t it change hers?
"Ruth, honey, are you all right?"
Ruth’s train of thought was broken by the
sound of Molly’s voice.
"You’ve been awfully quiet over here sitting.
I know you have a lot to think about right now. Why not come and get a bite to
eat? You know you haven’t eaten and you need to keep your strength." Molly
tried to persuade Ruth to come with her to the dining room.
"I’m not hungry right now, Mrs. Brown.
Thank you," Ruth replied lukewarmly.
"Molly…please call me Molly. After all
we have been through, these silly pleasantries won’t get us anywhere if we
can’t feel comfortable enough to at least be on a first name basis, now can
it?" Molly tried to make light of the situation.
"I’m sorry, Molly. It’s just…I can’t
imagine what my life will amount to with Rose gone. She was my pride. My
security, in a way." Ruth caught herself on those last words. Security.
Had that been all Rose was to her? She started to cry when she realized how
selfish she had been and sounded now.
"Shh…there, there, it’s gonna work out
for you, Ruth." Molly tried to comfort her. "We are gonna get you set
up, and I will personally see that you do well for yourself. Nothing bad will
happen, I promise you."
Feeling only slightly comforted by Molly’s
words, Ruth took a deep breath and looked at Molly.
"I appreciate you, Mrs. Brown…I mean,
Molly…you don’t know how it helps to hear that." Ruth tried to force a
smile.
"You know, Officer Lowe over here says
that there is not yet a complete survivor list. Don’t lose all hope yet, honey.
God willing, she can still be found." Molly tried to sound hopeful.
Ruth just nodded and sat back in the chair.
Her mind seemed clearer for the moment when she saw Cal coming toward her.
"I looked
everywhere…people…steerage…asked officers…no one has seen anyone like her…I…I
couldn’t find her, Ruth…I’m sorry…" Cal’s voice trailed off and he had a
despondent look on his face, like he had finally been beaten.
Cal turned his head away for what seemed to
Ruth like better effect. She didn’t know why, but she couldn’t believe that he
genuinely loved her.
"She was so precious to me,
Ruth…I…"
"Jewels are precious. Good-bye, Mr.
Hockley," Ruth said, coldly dismissing him.
Cal looked confused for a moment.
"Ruth, let me help you. I can see that
you have arrangements made…"
"No, thank you, Mr. Hockley. I am quite
sure that your offer is generous, but I must decline. It is the only way that I
can mourn her without feeling completely guilty."
With that, she turned and walked away from
him, with Molly close behind. She had a feeling she had not heard the last of
him, but for now she was sure she had done right by Rose.