UNTITLED STORY
Chapter Nine
April 18, 1912
New York City
Ruth slowly followed Molly into the
Waldorf-Astoria hotel, then stood quietly as Molly explained that they were
Titanic survivors and that the White Star Line was paying for them to stay in
the hotel. She didn’t react as Molly signed the register for both of them and
took two keys to rooms in the luxurious hotel.
Molly handed one key to Ruth and led her up
the stairs. This was a hotel that Molly had stayed in more than once before,
and she knew where she was going. When they reached their floor, Molly pointed
Ruth in the direction of her room, then waited until Ruth was safely inside
before unlocking her own door and going inside.
*****
Ruth sat on the edge of the bed, shivering
and hugging herself. Although her clothes were warm, and reasonably dry, she felt
chilled to the bone. Slowly, she rocked herself, feeling silent tears slip from
her eyes and run down her cheeks.
Rose was gone. How could she sit her, in this
warm, luxurious room, when Rose lay dead at the bottom of the bitterly cold
Atlantic? It seemed almost obscene. Ruth shuddered inside as she remembered her
willingness to marry Rose off to a man she didn’t love just so that she herself
could continue to enjoy this kind of luxury.
Rose, I’m sorry. I wish I could tell you
just how sorry I am. If only you were here now, I would let you end the
engagement to Cal, and be with that boy if you wanted. But he probably didn’t
make it, either, so I suppose you two are together. I hope you’re happy,
wherever you are.
Finally, Ruth got to her feet and walked
toward the bathroom. The tub looked deep and inviting, but she hesitated as she
looked at it. She didn’t deserve this kind of luxury, not after she had driven
her daughter to go back inside a sinking ship to save the life of a young man
she had helped to frame. To be sure, she hadn’t slipped the diamond into Jack’s
pocket, or told the Master-at-Arms to search him, but she had known what Cal
had planned, and she had done nothing.
Rose…Jack…I’m sorry. You’ll never know how
sorry I am. Finally, Ruth turned on
the water and began running a hot bath. She slipped off her clothes with more
difficulty than usual, now that she had no maid to help her, and sank into the
water. It warmed her outwardly, but inside there was still a deep chill that
had nothing to do with the temperature.
Rose, how can I ever make amends for what
I did? I can’t bring you back. Ruth
closed her eyes and leaned back, her thoughts far away. All I can try to do
is become a better person. And to do that, I have to try make it on my own. I
don’t know what I’ll do, but I have to do something. I can’t go on as I did
before, caring only for myself and not for anyone else. The sinking of the
Titanic taught me that much—that life is precious, and that there’s more to it
than money and social standing. Rose understood that, but because I didn’t, I
drove her away, and now she’s gone.
She would have to start a new life, make her
own way in the world. It would never bring Rose back, but it would honor her
memory in a way that nothing else could.
Rose, my daughter, my only child…I’ll
never forget you, and I will do my best to honor your memory. This I promise.