THE FIRE WITHIN
Chapter Two

In the morning, Christa got up. Amsterdam had already left. She got dressed and went outside. She felt somewhat strange not being a virgin anymore. It sort of hurt when she walked, but the slight pain began to fade and she put it out of her mind. Amsterdam was a great lover. She could never have asked for someone as perfect as him.

She walked out of the brothel, and outside was Paradise Square, Murderer’s Alley, and the Gates of Hell.

Christa walked around, looking at her surroundings. She had never gotten a chance to see everything when she was bludgeting. The gangs passed her by. She looked at them. Some of them were not to her liking. It was a dangerous place for her to be, and she knew it. However, since she hung around the Natives, the gangs didn’t bother her. There were many transvestites. There was no mistaking them. She smiled sometimes at the way they looked. She passed a line of men. The new conscription act wanted thousands of men for the Civil War. It was said they would receive good meals and pay, but at what price? Undoubtedly their lives.

She was glad that she wasn’t a man, and was thankful for that.

Happy Jack bumped into her.

"I am sorry, sir." She bowed.

"Ah…Miss, it was my pleasure bumping into such a beauty," he said, winking at her. He took her hand and kissed it.

"Well, thank you, sir," she said.

"Happy Jack," he told her.

"Happy Jack?" she repeated, and went on her way, ignoring the stare he gave her.

"Christa!" someone yelled. She recognized the voice.

"Tommy? Is that you?" She saw him and was unable to believe he was there with her.

"Christa! Oh, God, I was praying I would find you," he said, hugging her.

"Tommy, how did you get here?" she asked.

"I sold my things. I couldn’t leave you out here all alone," he said, carrying nothing.

"It’s fine, Tommy. Really. I got a place and I got a job," she told him so he wouldn't worry.

"That’s good to hear." He smiled at her.

"Oh, look at you. You must be thirsty. Let’s get you a drink." She looked at him, and he looked different, for some reason.

She took him into a bar and bought him a drink.

"So, Christa, how’s New York?" He sipped the beer.

"Okay, I guess. I made a few friends." She played with her mug.

"That’s good to hear, and here I thought you were all alone. I should have known better." He took her hand and held it.

"Aw, Tommy, you always cared about me." She looked into his eyes and knew he loved her.

"I do. I will always care, Christa." He yawned.

"You must be tired after the long trip. You wanna rest?" She took his hand and brought him to her for a hug.

"Sure." He held her against him and loved the scent of her.

They walked to the brothel, and what Tommy saw amazed him. The brothel was in full swing; men everywhere were getting their fair piece for a price.

Tommy didn’t say anything. He followed her into her room.

"You’re not working here, are you, Christa?" He wondered why in the hell she would stay here.

"Hell, no! Tommy, it’s a place, and free, too. I have some roomies, too." She looked over at him as she fixed the bed. There was a little bloodstain, a remembrance of her innocence that had been taken away.

"Who?" He wondered who she was with.

"Two gentlemen, Amsterdam and Johnny." She fixed the covers and plumped up the pillow.

"They aren’t harassing you, are they?" He had to ask.

"No. We are fine. They are perfect gentlemen." Christa smiled at him. He was always such a worrywart.

"Well, that’s good. I know your place isn’t the best, but I have to say, you are doing well." He gave her a thumbs up.

"That I am, Tommy. You shouldn’t worry." She smiled back.

Amsterdam walked in.

"Well, hello, there," Amsterdam said.

Christa got up and took his hand.

"I would like you to meet my friend, Tommy Ryan," Christa introduced him.

"Aw, so you’re Tommy." Amsterdam stared at the Irishman.

"Hello and you’re?" Tommy stared at Amsterdam. He wasn’t the type Christa was usually into.

"Amsterdam. Nice to meet you." He shook his hand.

Christa sat with Amsterdam. He looked at him and her and noticed that something had changed. She was never close to any man except him, and here she was, holding this stranger’s hand.

"Are you tired, Tommy?" She got up to leave.

"A little." He noticed she wanted to get rid of him so she could be alone with her new friend. He felt a little hurt.

"Well, I will go with Amsterdam. You take a rest here. I will put up the Do Not Disturb sign." She got a rag and put it over the doorknob before leaving.

"Okay. Thanks, Christa." He lay down, closing his eyes.

"No problem." She smiled, closing the door.

She walked out with Amsterdam, got his hand, and pulled him close.

"What? Here in the hallway?" He looked at her.

"I just wanna a kiss." She tried to reach his lip as she stood on her tiptoes.

"Wait, Christa! Do you think we are together?" he asked as he pulled away.

"Well, aren’t we?" She looked at him in a strange way.

"Well, maybe. I do like you, but I don’t wanna move too fast." He didn’t want to hurt her, but he felt like he was.

"How can you say that? I was a virgin up until last night, and you had no problem taking me." She felt hurt.

"I am just protecting you. I don’t wanna hurt you." He told her the truth.

"Oh, hush. I can protect myself." Christa felt mad and hurt by him and walked away. She felt used.

How could she have mistaken Amsterdam for something he wasn’t? She felt like a fool.

"Hello, Christa." She passed Johnny on the stairs.

"Hello, Johnny. What’s going on?" She was still mad, and it showed.

"Are you all right?" He was concerned.

"Fine. Just dandy," she said sarcastically.

"Something wrong?" He knew it had something to do with Amsterdam. It always did.

"Yes. Amsterdam. He just used me last night, probably to cover his frustration over Jenny." She had figured it out.

"Probably. Jenny seemed ticked off last night." He lit up a cigar and offered her one, but she rejected it.

"No, thanks. You mean you saw her? Did she get mad?" Christa wondered what was really going on between Jenny and Amsterdam.

"Nah. He was never hers to claim." He let out a puff of smoke.

"Ah…he claims he wants to protect me. I don’t believe him. What do you know about him?" Christa began to calm down.

"I’ve known him since we were children. A few weeks ago, he came back." They walked together and headed outside.

"Back from where?" Christa wondered.

"Hellgate, Blackwell Island. It’s a reform school." She walked with Johnny down the street, not really heading anywhere in particular.

"Oh, God. How he must have hated it, and they only let him out now?" She felt bad for telling him the stuff she had told him.

"He claims he tried to escape, but they caught him and added time to it," Johnny explained.

"I heard about his father," Christa mentioned.

"He told you?" Johnny was shocked. He thought no one knew besides him.

"Yes." Christa wondered what the secret was.

"He must trust you." Johnny still couldn’t get over it.

"Why do you say that?" She looked at him in a strange way.

"Because Bill doesn’t know he’s Vallon’s son. I haven’t said anything to Bill." Johnny felt strange talking to her about this.

"Well, I am not saying anything, either. I know I just barely met him, but I love him." She meant it with all her heart.

"You and all the other girls." He felt kind of jealous.

"Has he been with any other girls around here?" She looked around and she didn’t see anything of Amsterdam.

"No. In fact, you are the first he has been with since…well…forever, I would think." He didn’t really know Amsterdam all that much, but he assumed he had never been with a woman.

"You mean, he’s…" Christa began to feel worse.

"Was." Johnny looked at her.

"Oh, God. I had no idea. He seemed so experienced." Now she felt like crap.

"Well, now you know." He smiled at her.

"Oh, God, Johnny. I have been an utter fool for believing he was experienced in that matter. I must speak to him." She went to search for him, leaving Johnny.

She saw him run onto an autobus and tried to catch up, but lost sight of it, so she walked.

It wasn't long until he got out, and she saw he was following Jenny. She followed him. Quietly, she managed to see him staring into a window of a luxurious house.

When she spied Jenny coming out, he confronted her. She kicked him in the groin.

He crouched down in pain, but pushed her up against the wall.

Christa continued to spy on the two, wondering what in the hell was going on.

Jenny held a knife to Amsterdam's throat. He pressed forward.

She couldn't hear what was going on, only mumbling. Jenny opened her dress and exposed her necklaces to him. He hesitated and took one.

They backed off each other, and Christa backed away. She hid around the bend as they came out and she saw them walk together, then separate after a while. She walked a little closer, edging her way toward Amsterdam. He heard her footsteps.

"Christa, why were you following me?" He knew.

"I just wanted to apologize for earlier." She wondered how he had known she was following him.

"It's all right," he said casually.

"No, it’s not. I took you for something you weren't, and I am sorry." Christa looked into his eyes. She wanted to hold him.

"What do you mean, something I wasn't?" He wondered what she had learned about him.

"Your first time being with a woman," Christa muttered.

"You think it was my first time? Why would you think that?" He didn’t want to be so rude to her, but she was his first, and he wondered why he had said she wasn’t.

"I just thought, since you were at Hellgate, that you didn't do it." She felt stupid now for believing Johnny.

"Who told you I was at Hellgate?" He looked at her and stopped walking.

"Johnny." She looked at him and wondered why he was acting the way he was.

"Bleeding Christ!" he yelled.

"Don't be mad. I asked about you, is all. I wanted to know what mysterious secrets you were keeping." She tried to act innocent, but wasn’t doing a good job of it.

"Christa, look, next time you want to know something, come to me. All right?" He looked at her and grabbed her shoulders.

"Okay. Are we fine now?" She hoped she wasn’t too much of a bother in his life.

"Yeah, I suppose." He held her hand, and they walked together.

She walked with him a little, and saw the gang and Bill. Amsterdam joined them, and Christa went back to her room.

Tommy lay on the bed, asleep. She touched his hair.

He woke up, loving every time she did that to him when he was asleep.

"Christa?" He opened his eyes.

"Tommy, I am sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you." She felt antsy.

"It’s all right. I love waking up when you touch my hair like that." He wiped his eyes and felt like he had slept forever.

She blushed.

"Christa, why were we never a couple?" He had always wondered that.

"I don’t know, Tommy. Perhaps I value you more as a friend than a lover." She looked at her hands.

"You slept with that Amsterdam, didn’t you? Why can’t we?" He had always wished he could have her, but why couldn’t he?

"Tommy, that’s none of your business. But if you must know, yes, I did sleep with him." She felt like she had betrayed their friendship.

"I could tell. You have never been close to anyone but me." He felt jealous.

"I don’t want to make you feel like you aren’t needed, Tommy. You’re my best friend, and always will be." She meant every word.

"Thanks, Christa." He hugged her.

He had loved her since they were children, and he could remember the first time he met her. She had been crying because she had broken her doll. He had fixed it, and she had kissed him. He had blushed, and they had been friends after that.

Tommy had always thought they would be together. Now, he forgot any hopes of that happening. With Amsterdam in the way, he had no chance now.

They left the room and went walking through the Points.

Christa showed him around. He loved being in her company.

"Tommy, I have an idea. Isn’t your birthday coming up?" she asked him.

"You never forget, do you?" He smiled at her.

"No. Anyway, I was thinking maybe we should get you a girl for the night." Christa knew he needed some release.

"I thought I already had one," he joked.

"Oh, Tommy. Really! I mean, you and me? It would never work. We are best friends, and I think if we ever did get together, it wouldn’t work out." She felt that it wouldn’t.

"You don’t know that for sure," he said quietly.

"True, I don’t, but I am with Amsterdam now." She wanted to change the subject.

"Yeah. It was silly, I guess. Anyway, a girl is not what I need right now," he told her.

"Okay. Let’s go get a drink." They went back to the brothel and ordered a few rounds.

Bill, Amsterdam, and Johnny were there getting drinks, too.

Women surrounded them. Christa sat with Tommy, eyeing Amsterdam every step of the way, watching to see if he was taking any of the girl’s offers. Some of them caressed him, but he didn’t respond to their advances. She watched him, and he knew it.

Tommy drank with Christa. She was horribly drunk, and the jealous rage of watching Amsterdam with other women was making her go insane. He could see it.

"Christa, let’s go upstairs." Tommy offered his hand.

"No. Not yet, Tommy." She saw a girl about to kiss Amsterdam, and she blew up.

She staggered over and threw the girl aside.

"You leave him alone, you whore!" She could have torn her apart, she was so mad.

The girl just watched and didn’t see a reaction at all from him.

"Christa, you’ve had enough. Come on. Let’s put you to bed." Amsterdam got up and picked her up.

Tommy watched as Amsterdam hauled Christa upstairs.

She fell asleep in his arms. He put her down and went back out again.

Tommy caught Amsterdam just as he was coming down.

"Can I have a word with you?" Tommy asked.

"Go on." Amsterdam waited for him to speak.

"Look, I just want you to know that Christa is my best friend, and I don’t want her hurt, is all." He looked at Amsterdam. What did he have that Tommy didn’t?

"She won’t be hurt, but if I ever did, it would be for her own protection, just so you know." Amsterdam felt like he was being interviewed by Christa’s father.

"All right. I guess that will have to do. See ya, Amsterdam." He went up the stairs to see if she was all right.

"Yeah." Amsterdam walked down, thinking about Christa.

Tommy headed into the room and saw Christa asleep. He covered her and slept by her side like he always had when they were together in Ireland.

Christa rolled over in her drunken state and began to touch Tommy, not realizing it was he. She touched his manhood. Tommy moaned. She had her eyes closed and pressed her lips to his. Tommy began feeling Christa grope him more and he didn’t stop her, so he kissed her. When she opened her eyes, she was in utter shock.

"Tommy, where’s Amsterdam?" She backed away, feeling embarrassed.

"He went downstairs. Why?" Tommy had an erection that just wouldn’t go down.

"I am so sorry I fondled you like that. I didn’t mean to. I thought you were him," Christa apologized.

"It’s all right. Believe me, it’s okay. I guess I should go downstairs." He wanted to relieve himself after being so close to her.

"I am going with you. I feel better now." She was so sexually in need of a man, it wasn’t funny.

Christa and Tommy went downstairs. There was hardly anyone there. Amsterdam lay bleeding drunk on the table.

Christa saw and touched his hair. He woke up.

Jenny appeared, touching Bill, trying to get him up.

Christa looked over at Jenny and didn't say a word.

"Amsterdam? Come on. It’s late. Let’s go to bed." She grabbed his arm.

"All right. I'm up." He lifted his head, seeing Jenny giving him that look.

He dismissed it and held onto Christa, then got his glass and saluted Bill before leaving.

"To the Butcher. We're all much obliged. Forever." He held it up, put it to his lips, and finished it off.

He stared at Jenny again, that sudden rise of heat stroking him. Christa noticed it.

She let him be after that, and went to Tommy, telling him she would be upstairs.

She went upstairs, not caring about Amsterdam. She figured that he was no good to her after all, so she went to bed. But she couldn't sleep, so she went though her stuff, saw a book, and picked it up. She was starting to read it when it flew across the room.

"What the hell?" she yelled.

"Why did you leave?" Amsterdam demanded an answer.

"I thought you wanted Jenny," she said truthfully.

"Why would I want her? She fucks everybody." He was in such a rage, he didn’t know what to do.

"So what? Wouldn't you want an experienced woman, since you’re so cavalier not to give a shit about me anyway?" Christa turned around to sit on the bed.

"Don't start with me, Christa." He walked toward her, pulling her hand.

"Oh, please. If you hadn't found out I was a virgin, you would probably have used me like all your other whores," she said in his face.

"Don't ever say that again," he warned her.

"Fine. Get Out." She pulled her arm back and waited for him to leave.

He pushed her up against the wall. She slapped him and tried to get away from him in his drunken state.

"Don't you dare, or I will bite you." He tried to kiss her, but she wouldn’t let him.

"If you were gonna bite me, I don't think you'd warn me, huh?" he dared her.

"Just you try it." She was ready to call his bluff.

He tried to kiss her. She tried to bite him, but she didn't hold back for long. She took his lips in a way she hadn't thought she had in her.

He kissed her madly, wanting to bury himself within her. He picked her up and entered her in one smooth thrust. They moaned together in ecstasy.

Tommy had seen, and wished that it was him loving Christa. It had given him a miserable heartache that needed to be filled.

Chapter Three
Stories