Written by Maru
Based on some situations originated by James Cameron.
"Okay, Mrs. Dawson. I need
you to push."
After that, the silence. My
mother always said that she never felt so much horror as the horror she felt
the day I was born. She had expected me to cry, as all of the other babies did
when they were born, but I didn’t cry. They all thought I was dead, and you
know what? I think that, too.
But fortunately, he who delivered
me was a good doctor, and he didn’t let me die then. I don’t know what he did
to me, but the next moment I was crying at the top of my tiny lungs.
"Congratulations. It’s a
boy."
And that was how I was born. Much
to my surprise, that wasn’t going to be my only time meeting death
face-to-face.
My parents were great people.
They decided to call me Jack, after my dad’s father. So, I became Jack Dawson.
Somehow, that name fitted me perfectly; I guess I was meant to be called that.
I was born at home. It was a nice house, not too big, but comfortable enough
for the three of us to live in. We weren’t rich, but I knew that we were going
to be okay.
My childhood was very happy. I
was an only child, so I had my mother all to myself. Every day, she would walk
me home from school and buy me an ice cream on our way home. My father was fun,
too. He had to work during the week, so I didn’t see much of him, but during
the weekends, he was all mine.
I particularly remember this one
time when he took me ice fishing on Lake Wissota. It was freezing cold, and my
mother had suggested that we stay home, but my father and I were too excited to
wait, so she had to give up. She knew us too well to fight.
We arrived to the lake, which
was, of course, frozen.
"Be careful, Jack. You might
fall through thin ice."
I was a very adventurous boy. I
always liked to do dangerous things without paying attention to my elders. But
that day I learned my lesson. I was trying to find the perfect place for us to
chop the hole when I fell. I tried to call my dad, but the water was too cold
for me to think clearly. I could barely stay afloat. I’ll never forget that
time. The water hit me like a thousand knives all over my body. Fortunately, my
father had seen me, so he got me out before something worse happened.
Sadly, we couldn’t fish, because
we went straight home, hoping that my mom wouldn’t kill us when she heard about
what had happened. Well, she didn’t kill us, but she almost died herself when
she saw me completely soaked, hiding behind my dad.
She would have fainted if she
hadn’t noticed that the weather was freezing cold and that I was wet, but as
she did notice it, she prepared a hot bath for me and put me into dry clothes.
Nevertheless, that didn’t prevent
me from catching a very bad cold, with a high temperature and all that, so I
had to stay in bed for almost a month. At the beginning, it was terribly boring
to be there just lying in my bed, but then my dad, who was feeling a bit
guilty, brought me a present that changed my life--an art set.
At the beginning, I thought it
was as boring as anything else, but then I discovered that I actually enjoyed
drawing, and that it was something I was good at. My first portrait was my mom.
I gave it to her as a present one morning when she brought my breakfast, and
she let me go down to the parlor that afternoon. From that moment onwards,
drawing became a very important part of my life. Little did I know how much
they would mean to me as the years passed.
Well, that happened when I was
about ten years old. My father never again offered to take me to the lake, not
even in the summer. For a couple of years, we lived very happily, as we always
had. But that happiness wouldn’t last forever.
"Jack, would you come down
here for a second?" my mother called one afternoon. I was fifteen then,
and I was going through that time of rebellion most teenagers go through. My
mom usually said that she no longer knew who I was. I decided to pretend that I
hadn’t heard her.
"Honey?" she called
again. This time I noticed something wrong in her tone, so I had no choice but
to go downstairs and see what was happening. I found my mother sitting alone on
a couch, hiding her head in her hands. My father was looking through a window,
as if he were expecting someone. There was another man in the room, someone I
didn’t know.
"What’s going on?" I
asked, realizing that something bad was about to happen.
"Jack…your father was
fired," my mother replied after a very long pause.
"What? Why didn’t you tell
me? How long ago?"
"Three months ago. We didn’t
tell you because we thought that I would find a job before we ran out of money,
but…" my father replied.
"But?"
"These are difficult times,
son. And you deserve the best."
"Dad, what are you talking
about? Who is this man? What’s going on?" Now I knew for sure that
something really wrong was happening. I had never seen my parents so down
before.
"We are going to go through
some very difficult times here, son, so your mother and I think you’ll be
better off with your Aunt Sara."
At that point, I heard a sob
coming from my mother. I didn’t understand it all at once. I couldn’t believe
that my parents were letting me go!
"You…you don’t…you can’t do
this! I’m your son! We’re a family, for God’s sake! Aren’t families suppose to
stick together, for better and for worse?"
My mom was now crying. My father
could only mutter that everything was going to be fine. I was so mad at them
that all I could do was run upstairs to my room. The only thing I knew was that
I was not going with my Aunt Sara. I took my school bag. I threw some clothes
in it, my art set, and the few bucks I had managed to gather from the sale of
my drawings. For I moment, I thought that I ought to tell my parents about my
decision to leave, but then I realized that it would be too hard to face them.
So I took one of my drawings, a family portrait, and I wrote, I will come
back. Love you. I left the piece of paper on my bed and then I climbed out
the window, trying my best not to cry.
I was leaving behind everything
that had ever meant something to me. Everything that had ever made me smile was
in that house. My first impulse as I saw it from the street was to run back,
but I knew that if I stayed I would be nothing but miserable. I had no choice
but to leave.
"I will come back," I
whispered.
I guess that there was a part of
me hoping that someone would see me and make me go back home, but that warm
afternoon in June it seemed that all the people in Chippewa Falls had
disappeared.
I arrived at the train station.
This was going to be my first time on a train and I was a bit nervous. The
woman at the ticket office gave me a kind smile when she asked me where I
wanted to go.
"Eh…where is the next train
going to?" I asked.
"There’s one going to New
York leaving in fifteen minutes," she replied.
"Okay. I’ll take it. Thank
you very much."
The minutes seemed like hours to
me. Something in my head told me that I had to stay and fight for my family,
but there was this other part that told me that it would be useless to stay.
Finally, they called us to the train and I left Chippewa Falls for a long time.
*****
New York will always be my
favorite city in the world. Not only is she a beautiful place to live, with the
parks to draw in, but it was also the first city I ever visited. My first
impulse when I arrived was to jump back on the train and come back home, but I
thought twice and stayed. I didn’t have much money, so I couldn’t afford a
place to stay. I spent my first night sleeping on a bench in Central Park. I
don’t regret it, though. That trip made me grow up, made me see that I had to
live my life, to do all the things I wanted to do while I still could.
The next morning, I found a job
at the port. It was a horrible job, but I just did it to pay for a place to
sleep. In the afternoons, I would go to the park again to try to sell my
drawings to the people that passed by. Unfortunately, they didn’t seem to care
much for my work.
Eventually, I got bored with my
job, so I quit. I stayed in New York for another month, but I had to admit that
I would never sell my drawings there, so I left. I went to the train station
and I got onto the first train I found. I’m not proud of it, but it just seemed
the right thing to do back then.
I spent two whole years traveling
from place to place. I never stayed more than a month in each place, because I
got bored very easily. That is, until I arrived in Santa Monica. Of all the
places I’ve visited, I still think that Santa Monica is the best.
The moment I got there, I was
amazed with it. The pier had everything I could possibly wish for in a
city--the gigantic roller coaster, the artists, the men with the horses for
rent…I’ll never forget what I felt when I first arrived.
With the few bucks I had, I
bought some sheets of paper and pencils and rented a room in a small hotel, though
I wouldn’t have minded sleeping on the dock, facing the stars. I went to the
pier and sat facing the ocean. My father had always said that he would love to
go on a cruise to see the world. Or at least, he hoped he would see the ocean.
And now, here I was, fulfilling his dream. I tried my best to capture the view
and to put it on the paper to show to my father when I returned. I knew that
that would make him very happy.
People in California were a lot
more generous than people in New York. I had no problem selling my drawings for
ten cents apiece, making a whole dollar some days. For a while, I stayed there,
but then the cold arrived and the tourists left. Staying there would be
useless, so I decided to see what the real artists were doing, and for that, I
traveled to Europe.
Europe was better than I had
imagined. It was perfect, marvelous. First, I went to England. Everything there
amazed me. It was so different from America, or, at least, the America I
knew--the rich men wearing top hats and the ladies with elegant dresses. Of
course, I knew that we had that in America, but not in Chippewa Falls. I
couldn’t picture one of those women going to walk me home from school like my
mother had.
Then I went to Paris, which was a
dream come true. The moment I arrived in the bohemian part of the city, I knew
that I was meant to do this for a living. I found a lot of people willing to
help me; they were my first actual models. It was hard, at first, to draw naked
women, but I got used to it–for the sake of my art, of course!
Unfortunately, Paris was full of
people like me, and I couldn’t find anyone who thought that my drawings were
any better than the hundreds of others they saw every day. Still, I knew that I
was meant to be an artist, and I decided that no one would ever tell me that I
couldn’t do it.
I decided to go to Italy to see
other kinds of artists. I knew it would be different from Paris, but I never
imagined it would be so nice. I went to Florence, to Venice, and to Rome.
There, in Rome, I met a boy named Fabrizio di Rossi. He was about my age, and
his dream was to go to America. We became friends almost instantly. He was kind
enough to invite me to stay with him until I decided to leave again. I couldn’t
pay him, but I promised him that I would take him to America. He thought it was
a good plan, so he agreed.
I lived there for nearly three
months. I had never intended to stay there for so long, but it was Fabrizio’s
family that made me stay there. Seeing Mrs. di Rossi taking care of her five
sons and daughters made me realize that I really missed my family and that I
really wanted to go back.
I told Fabrizio that if he wanted
to come to America with me, he would have to join me now. He didn’t need much
time to think. All he had to do was convince his mother that he was going to be
fine. So, on the last day of March of the year 1912, Fabrizio and I left Italy,
hoping to get to America.
*****
I couldn’t believe my luck. If
someone had told me five years ago that I would be going back home on the
grandest ship ever built, I would have said that he was crazy, but here I was,
about to sail on the Titanic.
Fabrizio and I had been drinking
some beer in a pub in Southampton when two men asked us to play a hand of poker
with them. They said they didn’t have any cash, but that they would play their
tickets. Fabri and I thought it was fair enough, and so we played.
Imagine my surprise when I saw
that I had gotten a full house! According to the cards I was now holding, I was
going back home! I knew I had promised Fabrizio that I would take him to
America, but the moment we left Rome I realized that it would be almost
impossible for us to get two tickets on any ship. Still, I tried to sound
confident for Fabri’s sake. But now, it seemed that all the problems had
disappeared, because I was going home!
"The moment of truth, boys.
Somebody's life's about to change," I said, looking at my three friends
and trying to hide the happiness I was feeling. "Let's see...Fabrizio's
got niente. Olaf, you've got squat. Sven, uh-oh...two pair...mmm." I had
done it. I had won! "Sorry, Fabrizio."
"What sorry? What you got?
You lose my money? Ma va fa'n culo testa di cazzo..."
"Sorry, you're not gonna see
your mama again for a long time..." He looked at me. They all did.
"Because we’re going to America. Full house, boys!"
No one, absolutely no one, had
seen that coming. The last thing I remember was Olaf punching Sven very hard in
the face. Fabrizio and I laughed, but then we realized that we were going to be
late, and the last thing we wanted to do was miss our ship.
The moment I set foot on it, I
knew it was big. I couldn’t help but think that the entire town of Chippewa
Falls would easily fit into that ship.
"I can’t believe that we are
actually going to America. It’s almost too good to be true."
"I know, my friend, but it’s
real. I’m coming back." I smiled. I thought about my mother. I could see
her at the front door, waiting for me. In a week, she would be hugging me
again.
We found our cabin more luxurious
than we had expected it to be. Both Fabrizio and I had traveled several times
on ships, but none of them had had a steerage section as clean as Titanic’s. It
was truly the ship of dreams.
On our second day–well, on our
second night, actually–I didn’t feel like sleeping, so I went up to the deck to
think. I thought about my parents. Would they be mad at me? Would they still be
living in Chippewa Falls? Somehow, I knew that they were still waiting for me,
and that made me feel very happy.
Suddenly, I heard someone running
past me. I stood up, trying to see if it was someone I knew. To my surprise, I
saw a beautiful red-haired girl who was heading towards the back of the ship.
Something inside me told me that I had to follow her, so I did.
I found her hanging from the back
of the ship, as if she was planning to jump. She was wearing an expensive
dress, so I assumed that she was rich and that she was traveling in first
class. A closer look told me that I had already seen this girl the previous
day, while I was talking to Fabrizio and Tommy, a man we had met there. She
belonged, in fact, to first class, and she was traveling with what seemed her
husband. I had seen him, too, the other day. Why was she trying to commit
suicide if she had everything she could possibly want?
"Don't do it." I said,
trying not to scare her. She looked at me, confused.
"Stay back! Don't come any
closer!" she said. I could see from her eyes that she didn’t want to jump
and she was silently begging for my help. She was also crying.
"Take my hand. I'll pull you
back in."
"No! Stay where you are. I
mean it. I'll let go." I tried my best not to laugh. I couldn’t believe
that someone in that situation could be so stubborn.
I walked a few steps to throw the
cigarette I was smoking into the ocean. She was facing the water once again.
"No, you won't," I
said, as if I was challenging her.
"What do you mean, no, I
won't? Don't presume to tell me what I will and will not do. You don't know
me." She was mad at me now.
"You would have done it
already. Now, come on. Take my hand." I gave her my hand, but she still
didn’t want to take it.
"You're distracting me. Go
away."
"I can't. I'm involved now.
If you let go, I have to jump in after you." I didn’t want to jump, and I
wasn’t really looking forward to jumping after someone I didn’t even know, but
I was too involved. I couldn’t just walk away.
"Don't be absurd. You'll be
killed."
"I'm a good swimmer."
"The fall alone would kill
you."
"It would hurt. I'm not
saying it wouldn't. To be honest, I'm a lot more concerned about the water
being so cold."
There. I had scared her. I guess
she had been expecting a quick death, but I knew what would happen. If she
jumped, it would be a slow, painful death.
"How cold?" she asked,
trying to sound as if she didn’t care much about it.
"Freezing. Maybe a couple
degrees over." She looked down again. "Ever been to Wisconsin?"
I asked.
Now she thought I was really
crazy. She looked at me and said that she hadn’t. I told her about my fall
through thin ice. I described the pain I had felt, hoping that that would make
her realize that she didn’t want to jump.
"You're crazy."
Yeah, I was crazy. What was I
doing there, talking to someone I didn’t even know and who didn’t even belonged
to the same class I did? But I felt that I had to help her.
"That's what everybody says.
But with all due respect, I'm not the one hanging off the back of a ship."
I went one step closer. "You don’t want to do this."
For a while, I thought she was
still going to jump, but then I felt her hand over mine. She turned around and
I could actually see all of her face. She was the best-looking girl I had ever
seen.
"I’m Jack Dawson," I
introduced myself.
"Rose DeWitt Bukater."
"I may have to get you to
write that down." She smiled. In that moment, if she had asked me to let
her go, I would have; if she had asked me to jump after her, I would have, too.
I was caught by that smile.
I knew that there was something
special about that girl.
*****
"Okay. Let me see if I’ve
got this straight. You’re having dinner with the rich people? Are you sure that
he wasn’t joking?" Fabrizio wanted to know.
I had just told him and Tommy
about my adventure the night before.
"Man, you’re so lucky! Hey,
Fabri, what do you say we go push some girls overboard and pretend we saved
them to get a free meal?"
They both smiled. I guess my
story wasn’t very convincing, but it was the truth. When I was pulling her back
over, she had slipped, and she had nearly fallen. A bunch of crewmen had come
and thought that I was trying to hurt her, but she corrected them, not with the
truth, but with another lie. That was why her fiancé, a rich guy named Caledon
Hockley, had invited me to dinner.
"Well, if I were you, I would
say good-bye to her the same night, because I doubt you’ll ever see this girl
again. Even more than that, are we sure that she’ll go to the dinner
tonight?"
"Well, Tommy, I think it’s
the second time you’re wrong about this girl and Jack," Fabrizio commented.
Both Tommy and I looked to where he was pointing and we saw her. It would have
been impossible to miss her with that hair. Besides, her dress had probably
cost more than the clothes of all the people gathered there.
I raised my hand to catch her eye.
She saw me and immediately came to where I was.
"What?" I didn’t know
what to say. For the first time in a long while, I was nervous.
"I was hoping to have a word
with you," she said. Then, looking at my two friends, who were absolutely
amazed by her, she added, "Hello. I’m Rose."
None of them seemed to be able to
talk, so I introduced them. "Would you like to take a walk on deck?"
I asked.
I followed her to the first class
deck. For a while, we talked about stupid things like the weather. Then, I told
her about my childhood and my dream to go back home.
"You seem to have had a
wonderful childhood. Why did you leave?"
I told her everything. It was so
easy to talk to her!
"After that, I traveled. I
went to Santa Monica and a bunch of other places in the States. Then I decided
to try my luck in Europe, so I bought a ticket on a small ship and went to
England."
"Wow. That must’ve been
fun." She paused.
"So…" I said.
"What did you want to talk about?"
"Yes, about that. Mr.
Dawson, I…"
"Jack."
"Jack." She seemed to
be talking to me for the first time. "I want to thank you for what you
did. Not just for...for pulling me back in, but for your discretion."
"You’re welcome." She
paused again. Then she finally opened up and told me everything.
She was supposed to marry this
guy Cal in Philadelphia a month after our arrival. None of her friends were
going to be there–as a matter of fact, I got the impression that she didn’t
have any–only wealthy people, friends of her mother and the groom.
"I know it’s stupid, but
sometimes I feel like I’m in the middle of a crowded room, screaming at the top
of my lungs, and no one cares. I guess you don’t know what is like to feel that
nobody cares about you."
"So, why don’t you walk
away?"
"Easier to say than to do.
It’s not that simple."
"Yes, it is. Go to him and
tell him that you can’t marry him."
For the second time in two days,
she looked at me as if I was completely insane.
"I couldn’t possibly do such
a thing. My mother would die if she heard something like that!"
Once again, I knew from her eyes
that she didn’t mean what she was saying. Yes, she was desperate to break free,
but she needed someone to help her.
"Do you love him?" I
asked.
"What?"
"Do you love him?"
"Pardon me? That’s not a
suitable question. You’re being rude."
"It’s a simple question. Why
can’t you just answer it?"
"Because you don’t know me,
I don’t know you, and we are not having this conversation. I wanted to thank
you, and I did. Good-bye, Jack--Mr. Dawson."
No, I don’t love him, you
idiot! her eyes seemed to
be saying. I watched her leave, but suddenly she turned around.
"Wait a minute! I don’t have
to leave. This is my part of the ship. You go!"
"Ho ho ho. Well, well, well.
Who’s being rude right now?"
She smiled. I did, too.
"What’s that stupid thing
you carry around all the time?" she asked, pointing to my sketchbook.
"What are you, some kind of artist or something?"
"Yes, actually, I am."
That shocked her. She took my
portfolio out of my hands and started to look at the drawings.
"These are good," she
said. "These are very good, actually."
We stood there for a long while.
She told me that she had once dreamt of becoming an actress, but when her
father died, she realized that she would never be able to try. We were having
so much fun that we lost track of time. Before we knew it, we saw a group of
ladies walking towards us. Rose recognized them and immediately stood up.
"Mother. I thought you were
having tea."
"Yes, Rose, I was. Half an
hour ago. I thought you weren’t feeling all right and that you would stay in
your room all afternoon."
"Well, yes, I was going to,
but…but I thought I had to thank Mr. Dawson for what he did last night."
"I thought a free dinner
would be enough thanks." I saw Rose’s face turning as red as her hair.
In that moment, we heard a bugle
right behind us. It was the meal call.
"Why do they insist on
always announcing dinner like a damned cavalry charge?" one of the ladies
commented. She didn’t fit in that group. She seemed more from my world than
from Rose’s. I knew later that she was Margaret Brown, who was new money.
Rose and her mother went to
change their clothes. That made me feel nervous. I wasn’t planning to change my
clothes. Molly surely guessed what I was thinking, so she took me to her
stateroom and lent me a tuxedo.
That night, I went to the dinner.
The moment I stepped into the dining room, I knew that I could never possibly
get used to this environment. Cal and Ruth, Rose’s mother, arrived shortly
after me, but they didn’t see me. I guess they had never thought I would be
well-dressed, or maybe they even thought that I wasn’t going to show up. But I
didn’t have much time to care about Cal and Ruth, because Rose arrived only a
few seconds after them.
I now believe that it was in that
moment that I realized that I couldn’t live without her. I realized that I was
in love with Rose.
"Well, well, well. Look at
you," she told me. "I must admit that I didn’t see this one
coming."
"You look beautiful,
too," I said.
The dinner was as boring as I had
imagined it would be. The only fun thing about it was to see Rose making funny
faces every time someone said something. I had to try hard not to laugh.
Finally, the men decided that it
was time for a brandy, so they all went to another room. I said good-bye to the
ladies and went, but before that I passed a note to Rose, inviting her to a
party downstairs.
I went to wait for her at the
clock, guessing that she wouldn’t come. Imagine my surprise when I saw her.
"I must be crazy for doing
this," she said.
"It’s good to see that I’m
not the only crazy one on this ship," I replied, making her laugh.
I took her to the steerage
section. There were people from everywhere playing music. We danced, drank
beer…above all, we had fun.
I walked her to the first class
entrance. Maybe we were a little bit drunk, because we were singing Come
Josephine in My Flying Machine. It was a good thing that we were alone,
because no one would have understood us. They would have just thought we were
two crazy people.
"Isn't it magnificent? So
grand and endless," she suddenly said, looking at the sky above us.
"They're such small people, Jack...my crowd. They think they're giants on
the earth, but they're not even dust in God's eye. They live inside this little
tiny champagne bubble...and someday the bubble's going to burst." The
sadness in her tone was indescribable.
"You're not one of them.
There's been a mistake," I said to try to cheer her up. "You got
mailed to the wrong address."
She laughed. "I did, didn't
I? Look! A shooting star."
I looked up. Yes, there it was. A
shooting star. I hadn’t seen one in years!
"That was a long one. My
father used to say that whenever you saw one, it was a soul going to
heaven."
"I like that. Aren't we
supposed to wish on it?"
"What would you wish
for?" I asked.
She paused and looked at me.
Then, in a very bitter tone, she replied, "Something I can't have." I
understood her. God, I did. I would wish for the same thing. "Good night,
Jack. And thank you." She slowly walked away. I wanted to stop her. I
wanted to tell her that I loved her, but I knew I couldn’t. She had say it
herself. I couldn’t have her. She belonged to Cal and that world. I could never
be part of her life.
I would have to forget her. New
York was only a couple of days away from us. If I could avoid her during those
days, I would never have to see her again. If only I could forget her that
easily.
*****
My determination to forget Rose
lasted for about four hours. When I woke up the next morning, I realized that I
couldn’t let her walk away without knowing what I felt. Perhaps she didn’t
belong to my world, but she wasn’t part of their world, either.
I went to the dining room, which
was now the chapel. All the rich men and women were there, singing. I wanted to
wait for her outside, but two stewards saw me and politely asked me to leave.
"No. It’s okay. I was here
yesterday. Remember me?" They didn’t.
"Is there any problem?"
Lovejoy, Cal’s valet, asked.
"Yes, actually. I want to
speak to Rose."
I admit it. I was stupid to think
that they would let me go near her just like that, but I didn’t think back
then. The result was that the two stewards followed me back to where I belonged
in a not very nice way.
Tommy and Fabrizio saw my face
and immediately guessed that something had happened. I was about to tell them
about my experience upstairs, but in the back of my head, I found another way
to get near Rose. I ran out of the room and asked my friends to follow me.
They helped me to get to the
first class deck without being seen. I heard them saying that I was not being
logical, but all I cared about in that moment was seeing Rose. I borrowed a hat
and a coat and I went to find her.
She was with her mother, Cal, and
Thomas Andrews, the ship’s architect, who was showing them the ship. I waited
until she was behind them, and I pulled her to a room that happened to be the
gym.
"Jack, this is impossible. I
can't see you," she said when I had closed the door.
"No. You have to listen to
me." I forced her to look at me. She did, and then I told her how I felt.
"Rose, you're no picnic...you're a spoiled little brat, even, but under
that, you're a strong, pure heart, and you're the most amazingly, astounding
girl…woman I've ever known, and…" Yeah. Yeah, I know. That’s not the best
way to talk to the girl you like.
"Jack, I…"
"No, wait. Let me try to get
this out. You're amazing...I’m not an idiot. I know how the world works. I have
ten bucks in my pocket and I know I have nothing to offer you, Rose. I know
that. But I'm involved now. You jump, I jump, remember? I can't turn away
without knowing that you're going to be all right." Why couldn’t I say I
love you? Maybe it was because, deep inside, I knew that Tommy was right,
that she really was out of my league.
"Jack…I’m marrying Cal. I
love Cal." She was lying, and I knew it. Again I got the impression that
she was begging me to save her. "I’ll be fine, Jack. Really."
"Really? Because I don't
think so. They've got you in a glass jar like some butterfly, and you're going
to die if you don't break out. Maybe not right away, because you're strong, but
sooner or later the fire in you is going to go out."
She looked at me with her eyes
full of tears.
"It's not up to you to save
me, Jack."
"You're right. Only you can
do that."
We looked at each other, begging
for a miracle that would set us both free, but it didn’t happen.
"I have to get back. They'll
miss me. Please, Jack, for both our sakes, leave me alone," she finally
said. Maybe she was right. Maybe I had done enough. She left, and I didn’t
follow. Perhaps I should’ve. I don’t know. I shouldn’t have given up on her so
easily.
For the rest of the afternoon, I
wandered around the ship, too sad to do anything. I knew she wasn’t mine. I
knew I had been more than lucky to even get near her, but I couldn’t help but
think that I had lost something very important to me.
Around sunset, I was at the bow.
I had discovered that spot my first afternoon onboard. There, I felt free, like
flying. I had planned to take Rose there to make her feel the freedom she had
been refused for all those years, but…well, you know the story.
"Hello, Jack." I almost
fell from the ship. Was that voice inside my head, or was Rose really there? I
turned around and saw her. "I changed my mind," she said, smiling.
"They said…" I told her to shut up.
I took her in my arms and told
her to close her eyes. She had no idea what I was doing, but she obeyed anyway.
I helped her to climb the rail, facing the ocean. I took her two hands and
raised them until she was standing with her arms outstretched on each side like
wings.
"Okay. Now open them."
I got the reaction I wanted. The
moment she opened her eyes, she gasped and said, "I’m flying!"
"I may not be able to buy
you expensive things, Rose, but I can offer you this--freedom," I
whispered.
It would be useless to describe
what happened next. We kissed, we hid from Lovejoy, we went to the boiler room,
we kissed again…okay. You get the picture. By the time we were back on the
deck, it was already dark.
"When the ship docks, I’m
getting off with you," she said out of the blue.
"What? That’s crazy!"
"I know it is. That’s why I
trust it."
Nothing could possibly ruin that
moment. That was what I thought, but the ship began to move and we saw an
iceberg passing right next to us.
"Shit," we said at the
same time. We knew instantly what would happen. We also knew that there weren’t
enough boats for the twenty-two hundred people traveling on the Titanic. Plus,
we heard Mr. Andrews talking to some officers about the damaged caused by the
iceberg.
"We have to tell my mother
and Cal," she said. "If you want, I can go and you wait for me
somewhere."
"No way! You’re not going
anywhere near that Cal without me. God knows what he’ll do when he finds out
about us."
"Yes. You’re right. But
still, she is my mother, and I have to warn her about the iceberg."
That same afternoon, after she
came back to me and before our adventure in the back of a car, Rose had asked
me to draw a portrait of her wearing nothing but a diamond necklace her fiancé
had given her the other night. Apparently that diamond cost two million
dollars.
As we walked towards the DeWitt
Bukater suite, Lovejoy, who was waiting for us in the corridor, put that
necklace in my pocket. Well, I guess he did, because I have to admit that I
didn’t feel it. When we opened the door of the room, Cal had the Master-at-Arms
search through my pockets to see if I had taken it. Of course they found it–as
Cal knew they would–and they put me under arrest.
Rose was speechless. I tried to
convince her that I was innocent, that I had no interest at all in her money,
but they took me away so fast that she didn’t have time to react.
Downstairs, I was left alone with
Lovejoy. He sat at the desk, still unaware of the fact that we were sinking.
Soon, I noticed a change in the ship. It was going down by the bow. The valet
also noticed it, and he changed his attitude towards me. He stood up, took his
gun out, and put it to my forehead.
For a second, I thought he was
going to kill me. I saw my whole life, like a moving picture, and I suddenly
regretted leaving home. But to my surprise, I didn’t feel the bullet. He didn’t
shoot me. He just punched me in the stomach, leaving me out of breath for a
couple of minutes.
When I recovered, I found myself
alone in the room, handcuffed to a pipe. I had no way to free myself. I tried
to call out for someone, but no one heard me. I was starting to believe that I
was going to die there, alone, with no one out there even knowing what had
happened to me.
Soon, the water started to enter.
It was cold, as cold as I remembered it.
This is not fair, I thought. I was coming back; I really
was coming back! I was about to cry. I don’t usually cry--actually, I can’t
remember of the last time I cried–but I had been really looking forward to
seeing my parents again and I couldn’t believe that I wouldn’t.
"Jack?" I didn’t move.
I just listened carefully. "Jack?" the voice called again. I thought
I recognized it, but I wasn’t sure.
"Rose?" I asked.
"Jack!"
Yes! Rose was looking for me.
"I’m so sorry, Jack,"
she said when she saw me. I wanted to hug her, to thank her for believing in
me, but I couldn’t move. I just kissed her and told her that everything was
going to be fine.
She looked for a spare key while
I watched, trying to think of a place where it could be.
"Rose." She stopped
searching and looked at me. "How did you find out I didn’t do it?"
"I didn’t. I just realized I
already knew."
I smiled at her, forgetting for a
second where we were. Then I remembered and told Rose to get some help. She
kissed me and left. Five minutes later, she was back with no help but an axe.
"Will this work?" she
asked.
"I guess we’ll find
out."
I closed my eyes, not wanting to
see what was about to happen. I heard the axe hitting the pipe and I felt free
again.
"Nice job! Now, go. We have
to find a way out."
We wandered around for a while
until we finally reached the third class gate. There was a huge crowd and we
couldn’t move. I knew what they were doing. They were locking us up so that the
rich people had more chances to survive.
In the crowd, I found Tommy, who
confirmed what I already knew. Fabrizio came shortly after, claiming that the
boats were gone. We decided not to believe him, and we checked. Fortunately, we
were told that there were some left, so we hurried.
We split into two groups. Tommy
and Fabrizio went to one side, while Rose and I waited on the other. There was
a boat, in fact, but the officer commanding it would only allow women and
children.
"You go. I’ll get the next
one." I knew there wasn’t a next one. That was why I was trying to make
her get into that boat.
"No. Not without you."
"Get in the boat."
"Yes, Rose, get in the
boat."
I was paralyzed. Of all the
people I could have met in that moment, I had to run into Cal. I knew he was up
to something. Rose looked at him, terrified, and then looked at me. I pushed
her as far away from him as the crowd would let me, but he also moved nearer to
us.
He took off his coat and gave it
to Rose. I decided to pretend he wasn’t there, but that didn’t work, either.
"I have an agreement with
one of the officers on the other side. We can get off safely, both of us."
"See? I have my own boat to
catch." I tried to sound calm, but I knew that someone like Cal would
never let me get any benefit from his money.
"Hurry up. It’s almost
full."
Rose looked at both of us. I
didn’t want her to think too much, because she would realize that Cal was
lying. Fortunately, the officer grabbed her and pushed her into the boat. I
held her hand for as long as possible, but I was pushed, too. The boat began to
be lowered away, and I wondered if I would ever see Rose again.
"You’re a good liar,"
Cal told me.
"Almost as good as
you," I replied. "There’s…there’s no arrangement, is there?"
"No, there is. Not that
you’ll get any benefit from it. I told you. I always win, one way or
another."
I wanted to punch him in the
face. I wanted him to miss his stupid boat so that he couldn’t find Rose again.
I knew he had been turning her life into a living hell and I didn’t want to
think of what he would do when they were married. I looked at him and I hated
that he was smiling.
"What’s she doing?"
someone asked. I immediately turned to the boat, just in time to see that Rose
was jumping back onto the Titanic. Without thinking about it twice, I ran
downstairs. When I found her, I hugged her and kissed her.
"You’re so stupid, Rose. Why
did you do it? Why, Rose?" I asked.
She looked at me with her eyes
full of tears, and she replied, "You jump, I jump, right?"
That was the most romantic moment
of my entire life. I wanted to embrace her and stay in her arms forever, but I
was forgetting Cal. When he saw us together, he took a gun from Lovejoy’s
pocket and shot at us. He missed, thanks to God, but Rose and I ran as fast as
we could to hide from him.
When we were back on the deck–yes,
again–the boats really were gone. The deck was in complete chaos, with people
trying desperately to save their lives.
"We have to stay on the ship
for as long as possible!" I yelled over the crowd; she nodded in response.
As the ship was going down by the bow, we knew that we had to go to the stern.
Before we could even think, the
ship was almost vertical. If we stood were we were, we would fall, so we
climbed over the rail.
"Jack," she said.
"Here’s where we first met."
I looked around and noticed that
we were, in fact, in the same place Rose had been only two days ago.
Soon the ship was completely
vertical. As it was too much pressure for her to handle, the hull split. I
don’t know what happened to the bow section. All I can say is that the stern
bobbed like a cork for a while.
Many people among us thought that
we were saved, but Rose and I knew better than that. And it took only five
seconds to prove us right, because after that time passed we began to go down.
"The ship is gonna suck us
down. Take a deep breath and hold it right before we go into the water. Kick
for the surface and keep kicking. Don't let go of my hand. We're gonna make it,
Rose. Trust me."
"I trust you."
The next thing I remember was the
water. It was as cold as I recalled it. I held onto Rose’s hand for as long as
I could, but the suction was too much and I had to let her go, or else we would
both drown.
Meanwhile, I kept kicking, but it
was getting harder and harder because of the lack of oxygen. I gathered all my
strength and kicked one last time. Fortunately, it was all I needed to reach
the surface. I looked for Rose, and when I found her we both swam away from the
crowd. We found a piece of door big enough for Rose to climb on. I just took
her hand and waited beside her.
"The boats will come back
for us, Rose. Hold on just a little longer. They had to row away from the
suction, and now they'll be coming back," I whispered.
We waited. I had a feeling that
they were taking more time than they needed. The people around called desperately
to them, assuring them that the danger was over, but there was still no sign of
any of them coming back.
"It's getting quiet,"
she suddenly commented in a low whisper. She was right. The cold water was a
quick killer.
"Just a few more minutes.
It'll take them a while to get the boats organized..." I prayed for them
to come to save Rose. I no longer cared about me. I just wanted her to be all
right.
"I don't know about you, but
I intend to write a strongly worded letter to the White Star Line about all this."
I wanted to keep her mind away from what was happening around us. I wanted her
to forget that she could die any minute.
She just whispered the sweetest
words I’ve ever heard, but instead of calming me down, I panicked. She was
saying good-bye! "I love you, Jack."
"No...don't say your
good-byes, Rose. Don't you give up. Don't do it."
"I'm so cold."
"You're going to get out of
this...you're going to go on and you're going to make babies and watch them
grow and you're going to die an old lady, warm in your bed. Not here. Not this
night. Do you understand me?"
"I can't feel my body."
"Rose, listen to me. Listen.
Winning that ticket was the best thing that ever happened to me. It brought me
to you. And I'm thankful, Rose. I'm thankful." I was having trouble
finding my voice. I guess that the cold water was starting to get to me. I just
wished I could save Rose before dying. "You must do me this
honor...promise me you will survive...that you will never give up...no matter
what happens...no matter how hopeless...promise me now, and never let go of
that promise."
"I promise."
"Never let go."
"I promise. I will never let
go, Jack. I'll never let go."
I kissed her nearly frozen hand
and smiled at her, trying to feel confident about my future, but I had already
figured out that I was not going to make it through the night.
I closed my eyes, suddenly tired.
I saw my mom and my dad, waiting for me in our old house. I saw Fabrizio
thanking me for taking him to America. I saw some of my French girls. I saw
everything. I realized that I had had a good life. I had done everything I had
ever wished. I had even found the love of my life. The only problem was that I
hadn’t told her how I felt.
I wasn’t cold anymore now. There
was a bright light in front of me, and as I got nearer to it, I felt better,
happier. But just as I was right next to it, my head started to ache. I didn’t
know why. Suddenly, I heard a voice--Rose’s.
"Come back!" she was
saying. "Come back!" I didn’t understand what had happened. I could
hear Rose, but I could not see her. Where was she? Unexpectedly, the voice
changed.
"Come back, Jack. You
promised you would." To my surprise, it was my mother.
I opened my eyes and found myself
under the water. I guessed that the boats had returned and that Rose had
thought I was dead, so she had let go. I swam back to the surface just in time
to see Rose being pulled into the rescue boat.
"Hey!" I called, though
my voice was merely a whisper. "Over here!" One of the officers
looked at me, and so did Rose. She almost threw herself into the water again
when she recognized me, but fortunately, they stopped her. They helped me
inside and gave me several blankets.
"I’m so sorry, Jack. I
thought…oh, my God, I could have killed you! I’m so, so, so sorry, Jack.
I…"
"Rose," I interrupted.
I felt awful, terrible. I wanted to sleep, just sleep. But first I had to tell
something to her. "Rose, I love you."
She looked at me and smiled.
"This had better not be a
good-bye, Jack."
I smiled and kissed her.
"You can bet it’s not."
*****
I woke up the following morning
in an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room. I couldn’t remember how I got there
or anything regarding the previous night. When I finally remembered the
Titanic, the first word that came out of my still-cold lips was,
"Rose."
"Oh, good to see that you’re
awake. We were starting to get worried about you," someone, a nurse, I
assume, said.
"Where’s Rose?" I asked
again. I felt terrible, but I needed to know what had happened to Rose. I knew
that if I was alive she had to be alive, too, but I needed to see her.
"They are all waiting for
you outside. You’re lucky to have all your friends with you. Many people died
last night…"
I didn’t understand who all my
friends were. In my mind, I could see only Rose. The nurse opened the door, and
I saw Tommy and Fabrizio coming in. I was happy to see that my friends were all
right, but I still wanted to see Rose.
"Rose?" I asked yet
again.
"I’m not Rose. I’m Tommy.
Remember me?"
"Drop it, Tommy. Rose’s
hiding. That fiancé of hers is still looking for her, so we decided that she
would be safer hiding with Helga," Fabrizio explained to me.
"Helga? The Norwegian
girl?" I asked.
"Yes. Turns out that Rose
learnt some Norwegian back at school, so she’s trying to teach her some
English."
"Unbelievable. She knows
Norwegian, but she doesn’t know how to spit." I laughed.
Now that I knew for sure that
Rose was okay, I could rest. I knew that my friends wouldn’t let anything
happen to her.
"Thank you, guys, for taking
care of her all this time," I said.
"No. Thank you, Jack. If it
wasn’t for you, we would be dead by now. We wouldn’t have been able to leave
the Titanic."
I was still very tired, so I
asked my friends to go to see how Rose was doing. I also asked them to tell her
that I was feeling perfectly well and that I loved her. They both agreed, so I
was left alone to sleep.
I didn’t wake up until the next
morning. The nurse told me that it was perfectly normal, considering the time I
had spent in the water and the effort I had made to get to a lifeboat. She gave
me something to eat and told me that I was free to leave. She also told me that
the Carpathia, the ship that had picked us up, was going to arrive in America
on the following day.
When I left the infirmary, I
began to walk along the deck, trying to find my friends. I finally saw them
near the bow. Fabrizio and Helga were trying to talk, or at least that was what
I thought, because they didn’t seem to understand a word of what each other was
saying; Tommy appeared to be sleeping as if nothing had happened. Rose was
standing by the rail, watching the horizon. I walked silently towards her.
"It’s always nice to see
that there’s someone out there who looks worse than I do."
She turned to me and laughed. It
was true. She did look terrible. Her hair was a mess, and her dress was dirty.
Besides, she looked paler than usual, and her eyes seemed redder than ever.
"I’m so sorry, Jack. I
should’ve never let go. Don’t you see that you could have died there? Oh, God,
I feel so bad…I know that you may never forgive me…"
"Wait, wait, wait. Are you
serious? You saved me, Rose! I was going to die. I saw that light they say you
see when you’re dying. You saved me, Rose. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be
here right now." I hugged her, trying to wipe her tears away. It killed me
to see that she was crying, so I promised that I would do everything for her
not to cry ever again.
"So, you really don’t hate
me?" she asked.
"Of course I don’t hate you.
I love you, Rose. I really do."
She stopped crying and looked at
me, a smile on her face.
"I love you, too,
Jack."
*****
"Are you sure you’re ready
for this?"
"Honey, I’ve been ready for
five years."
It had already been a month since
the sinking. Both Rose and I had made it not only through the cold water but
also through her family.
After staying in New York for a
couple of weeks, we decided it was time to travel. Fabrizio, Helga, and Tommy
also decided to travel, but they chose to go somewhere else. Still, we agreed
to write letters all the time to see how we were doing, and we also said that
we were going to spend the holidays together, possibly in Chippewa Falls.
In fact, Rose and I were there
now, in Chippewa Falls. I was very nervous about seeing my parents again, but
having Rose by my side made it easier.
We walked hand-in-hand to the
place our house used to be. I noticed that some of the people looked at us,
maybe only because they thought we were tourists, or maybe because they
recognized me.
The house finally became visible
to us. It was just as I remembered it. There was a woman sweeping the porch.
She didn’t see us, but I knew instantly that she was my mother. She hadn’t aged
a day. I laughed because I had always dreamt that she would be sweeping the
entrance when I arrived.
"Go, Jack. She’ll be happy
to see you," Rose encouraged me. I kissed her and went closer to the
house.
"Mom?" I asked when I
was close enough.
She looked at me, confused at
first. Then she examined me from head to toe. Finally, she shyly asked if I was
Jack. I smiled in reply. She let go of the broom and ran towards me, hugging me
and kissing me.
"I knew you were going to
come back, Jack. I knew it! I’ve missed you so much, honey. I thought I was
going to die when I went to your room and discovered that you were gone! Why
did you do it, Jack? Why did you run away?"
I had never regretted leaving,
but now that I had come back I thought that I should’ve never left. "I
don’t know, Mom. I’m sorry. I didn’t think. I didn’t want to go with Aunt Sara,
and the only thing that occurred to me was to run away."
We stood there for what seemed
like hours.
"It’s getting cold. We should
probably go inside."
"Trust me, this is not cold
for me. But yes, we should get inside." I was already closing the door
behind me when I saw Rose. "Oh, Mom, wait. I want you to meet someone.
Rose, come in." She came in. "Mom, this is Rose, my fiancée. Rose,
this is my mother, Ann Dawson."
"It’s a pleasure to meet
you, Mrs. Dawson. Jack told me a lot about you."
"I can’t believe you’re
engaged! Why didn’t you tell me? Your father will be very happy."
"Speaking of which, where’s
Dad?"
"He’s working. He should be
back soon. I’d better cook something for dinner. This deserves something
special. What do you want?"
"You know that I can’t say
no to any of the things you cook," I said.
"Nice try, Jack, but you’ll
still have to tell me where you’ve been all this while. I want details and I
also want an explanation of why you didn’t write a single letter to us telling
us that you were fine."
I laughed. Knowing my mother, she
wouldn’t leave us alone until we told her everything.
"Fine, but first I want to
see Dad. I’m not going to tell the story twice."
He came home about half an hour
later. As I had imagined, someone had seen me and had recognized me, because
Dad seemed to know that I was home. In fact, the first thing he said when he
opened the door was, "Jack, you’d better have a good excuse for the past
five years, because if you don’t, you will spend the night in Lake
Wissota."
I laughed. Rose also did.
"So, you really fell through
thin ice? I thought it was just a trick!" she said.
"Do you want to hear the story?
I believe that my father will be delighted to tell you."
"Not so fast, you. Before
that, I want an explanation and I want it now. Please, Rose, have a seat. None
of you is moving until I know everything about my Jack."
We both smiled. I looked around and
felt safe again. After so many years, so many adventures, I had come back.
The End.