THERE YOU’LL BE
Chapter Fifteen
After dining with Alfie Burton
and his family the night before. Jack and Rose had stayed at the Country Inn.
It was a very homely hotel, not
very small but not the largest hotel she’s stayed in.
The rooms were average size, with
a double bed, a wardrobe and washing facilities. The price of the room per
night was not so much, meaning Jack and Rose could stay there for a while
longer before their money was to become tight.
Rose woke around midday and
stretched her arms out before rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She found the
space in bed beside her empty and she raised her head quickly, as she did a
pain struck her head at once.
"Oh my" she sighed.
Carefully sitting up. She certainly had drunk a lot of wine the night before.
Alfie had insisted on celebrating his old best friends return and Rose had not
drank for almost a year, so she took full advantage of the celebrations and
ended up slightly more merry than she should have been. But she had the best
time, hearing stories from Jacks childhood. Alfie even showed her a few
pictures of he and Jack when they were children and they shared jokes over
Jacks very chubby cheeks as a toddler.
Rose felt as though this was a
place she could belong. It was a perfect place to raise a family. Pretty and
picturesque. She could imagine Meggie in a few years time as a toddler,
learning to ride her bike, or her father taking her fishing. But Rose had
remembered what Jack had told her the night she had almost jumped off the
Titanic about his father taking him ice fishing when he was a child and he fell
through the thin ice. Rose too had felt the cold waters of the north Atlantic
and she wasn’t about to let her child near ice ever.
Jack had other ideas and she knew
it. He had made it perfectly clear that he had no plans or reasons to stay in
these parts longer than necessary. Rose had been a little sad at this, but this
was the beginning of her journey. The journey her and Jack had embarked on
almost a year ago.
Never in her wildest dreams would
she have pictured herself here; a small farming county and actually loving it.
Suddenly the door opened and Jack
emerged soaking wet. Shaking his hair he ran his fingers through it before
taking off his jacket and hanging it over a chair.
"Good morning." Jack
greeted with a huge smile. "I ran out for breakfast. You slept past eleven
and breakfast was closed downstairs."
Jack offered the white bag. Rose
took it hungrily.
"Its only a few donuts. All
I could find in walking distance. Its pouring it down out there." Jack
shivered and immediately, Rose threw the duvet cover around him, with a
mouthful of breakfast.
This was an instinct lately,
especially with her daughter. If Rose was cold, she would wrap her daughter in
more blankets. The cold was something she would hate for the rest of her life.
When breakfast was finished, Rose
dried Jacks hair with the towel the hotel provided. Her stomach was in knots,
for she knew what day it was today.
The day Jack would visit his
parents graves. He’d been very quiet all morning, almost not speaking at all.
Last night had been fun and all.
But this was the real reason Jack had come here. To say goodbye to the past.
Jack had lied to Rose that
morning about breakfast. He’d actually been up to see the remains of the old
Dawson house.
It was about half a mile up the
road and Jack had trudged all the way there. He hated lying to his wife, but it
was something he’d had to do alone. To come here for possibly the last time so
he could put everything to rest.
The old Dawson place still half
stood. Just the parts the fire destroyed were no longer in existence. His
parents bedroom had been the main hit for the flames, a cigarette had been left
alight in the downstairs parlor.
He had been out that night with
Alfie. It had been a school night but he hadn’t cared. He was a careless
teenager. His parents loved him more than anything and were very protective.
His father wasn’t a very strict
man, he just did the best by his child and wife by providing. Jack had been
particularly close to his mother, he was even teased at school about been a
"moms boy" but he hadn’t cared.
The rain began to beat down
heavier and Jack thought he had better get home to Rose and bring her
breakfast. He had said a short prayer and left, for good.
Entering the cemetery, memories
of the six years before him came flooding back to him. It was all so
overwhelming. He could remember the first and only night he had visited here,
when his parents had just been laid to rest. With a bottle of whisky, he’d sat
and drank for hours getting very drunk. For the first time in his young life.
He’d woken up laid beside his parents graves, shivering the next morning with
the worst headache he’d ever felt - his first hangover.
It was then at that exact moment
he had realized that he had to leave town. If not his life would be wasted in
this small town he once loved and called home.
Rose hand gently squeezing his
brought him back to reality.
The churchyard loomed ahead, he
knew where the grave was, but his feet dragged heavily as if he was unsure of
what he was doing and if it was even the right thing.
It was Rose who’d persuaded him
to do this, to come here today. To make peace with the past. Maybe she was
right, if he could deal with this then maybe they could put all of their past
behind them, the Titanic, Cal, Ruth, his parents, Tommy and Fabrizio. If he
could make peace with the past, lay all of the ghosts to rest once and for all
then he could get on with the new life he has.
The life he has with his
beautiful and loving wife Rose and the life they had created out of their love,
their baby daughter Meggie.
Meggie, oh how his parents would have
loved her. They would have spoilt her rotten. The apple of their eyes. And
Rose, the generous and warm hearted person she is, they most certainly would
have approved and welcomed her with open arms and treating her like the
daughter they never had.
Upon reaching the grave, Jack
already had tears threatening to fall. Clutching the white lilies he’d brought
with him, he slowly let go of Rose’s hand and hesitantly knelt beside their
grave.
Irene and Noah Dawson.
11th July 1907
Loving parents
May they rest in peace
The scent of the white lilies
filled Jack’s nostrils. Just then the tears began to flow freely from his
bleary eyes. He could almost see his mother now. Her long blonde curls tight in
a bun, her smile so bright as it always was. She saw no wrong in anyone.
Jack dropped his lilies on the
grave, before leaning forward, placing his head in his hands and letting out
the most heart wrenching sob Rose had ever heard escape his lips.
She immediately picked up her
skirts and knelt beside him, hesitantly she placed her right hand on his back ,
to let him know she was there for support.
He shunned her and she removed
her hand from his back.
She knew just how much he was
grieving now.
Rose herself had brought two soft
yellow roses and placed them beside Jacks lilies. She then rose to her feet and
watched her heartbroken husband grief for the parents he lost so long ago.
She wished she could do something
to help him. Just as she was about to ask, Jack removed his hands from his face
and began to speak.
"Mom, Dad. Its me, Jack. I’m
sorry its taken me so long to come home. But I’m here now, but not for long.
You’re both grandparents. You have a baby granddaughter, Meggie. My God you
would have loved her…."
Rose felt tears prick in her
eyes, she would give anything for Jack’s parents to have seen darling Meggie.
Slowly and unsteadily, Jack rose
to his feet. Shaking he took Rose’s hand in his.
"This is Rose, Ma. My wife,
my one and only. Isn’t she pretty?" Rose smiled through her tears and she
gazed at her husbands face and saw nothing but grief.
"Who ever thought I’d settle
down eh Ma? Who thought I’d be tamed?"
Rose smiled widely. Remembering
Alfie saying he was a wild teenager, girls never interested him.
"I don’t think I’ll ever
come back here again. Its too painful. So this is my final goodbye. I love you
both so much, you’re in my heart until the day we meet again. These flowers may
die but your memory won’t. I know that you’ll always be with me. Goodbye…"
On that note, Jack immediately
turned and quickly paced from the cemetery. Rose could feel the lump in her
throat as she followed him.
Jack barely spoke on the way home
until they reached the hotel. He embraced his wife and more tears fell from his
beautiful blue eyes.
"I don’t want to come here
again, Rose. Never."
Jacks voice cracked. Rose nodded,
she understood his reasons.
"You have friends here,
Jack. People love you here."
"No Rose, this isn’t home
anymore. Not for a long time. I was an orphan for five years and then I found
you, my Rose. You’re my family now. You, me and Meggie and any other children
we have in years to come."
Rose choked back even more tears,
wiping her face on her handkerchief. She gently kissed her husbands cheek. She
understood. The state he was in now was something very hard for Rose to watch,
she couldn’t bear to see him like this again.
"So what happens now?"
Rose asked, sitting on the bed now exhausted.
"How about we head out for
the horizon?" Jack asked, smiling. Some of his spirit had immediately
returned as he saw Rose’s eyes widen in shock.
"Now? What about
Meggie?"
"We’ve been here two days .
I’ve done my hard part. Now lets go on a honeymoon. Anne planned to have Meggie
for another two and a half weeks. So what do you say Rose? Shall we do as we
planned? Live our dreams a little? We’ll head out for the horizon
tomorrow."
April 4, 1913
Dear diary,
Today Jack and I arrived at
Santa Monica. This is it now. Our dreams are finally here. We’re staying in a
very small hotel across from the pier. Jack says it hasn’t changed much since
he was here in 1909. He was excitedly waving his hands around telling me every
detail of what he did. He was even hoping to try to track his old friend down
who worked here.
I’ve fallen in love with the
place and we only arrived yesterday. So far we’ve been in our hotel room from
the days of traveling. Before meeting Jack I’d never traveled by train before
and never expected to. But I rather like it. Seeing the countryside and the
beautiful sights pass the window. Jack was in awe the whole time. He’s barely
been able to put his charcoal to paper since the disaster. It hurts to know
what he loves doing the most wont come to him anymore. He has an extraordinary
gift which he cant use.
Its almost like having wings
and not been able to fly.
I certainly miss Meggie. I
received a telegram back from Anne this morning, she’s doing just fine, thank
heavens.
But as for now I will enjoy
what time Jack and I have together as a married pair.
Rose Dawson
The journey to Santa Monica was
an inspiring one to Rose and Jack. The sights which sped past the window. Town
after town, city after city. Rose hadn’t expected the journey to be so long but
she was with Jack.
On reaching Santa Monica, they
immediately checked into a small middle class hotel. It was a little on the shabby
side, but that really didn’t matter. This was their time.
Jack was even more overly excited
then when he was here the first time back in 1909. But now it wasn’t such a
lonely place. He had Rose. He had to fulfill his promise to give her the best
time, show her around and take her to all the places he promised to whilst they
talked of their dreams aboard the Titanic.
He had planned to do everything
he could to fulfill every dream she had. He wanted to make her happy, she
deserved it. They both did.
The first night was eventless.
Jack and Rose had slept almost straight away, collapsing into bed from
exhaustion.
The next morning was April the
fifth. He knew what day was looming and how agonizing it would be for them
both, for the memories were still fresh in their minds. The nightmares still
occurred and the sudden thought of the sinking ran shivers down Jacks spine. He
would be grieving for the loss of his friends and all of the other innocent
people who’d lost their lives.
Jack woke with a start on the
morning of April the fifth. Rose had always been a late sleeper. He’d teased
her endlessly about her laziness but she had been pregnant at that time. Jack
took a cool bath and dressed. He slowly opened the curtains around ten o’clock,
he knew this would wake Rose. The warm morning sunshine poured into the room,
from the window the view was amazing to say the hotel was pretty cheap. The
pier and the roller coaster was in the near distance, they would have a small
walk but it would be worth it. Today he would take his Rose dancing and
horseback riding, all of the things they had talked about.
He heard Rose groan softly before
rubbing her eyes. She sat up slightly, squinting at the brightness of the
sunlight.
"What time is it?" She
yawned.
"Around ten." Jack replied,
sitting himself beside her. "Ten o’clock on a lovely day in Santa
Monica."
Rose laughed excitedly at this,
she view from her window caught her eye as she gasped in awe. Slowly, she swung
her legs out of bed and stood at the window. It was breathtaking, like a
picture from a fairytale book. The sea, the sun, the sand, the view…
It was all so new to Rose and she
had a lot to experience. How would she know where to start?
"There it is Rosie…"
Jack started as he placed his arms lovingly around her waist and stared out at
the view. "There’s the horizon we’ve been heading for. This is what we
wanted. This is the dream." Rose turned and squealed happily, embracing
her husband as tight as she could.
The sea breeze was warm and
light. Jack and Rose strolled, slowly hand in hand. They felt the wind in their
hand and the sand in their toes. The pier and roller coaster weren’t too far
ahead now but their was most definitely no rush.
They had another week here, they
weren’t going to hurry.
"So tell me, Mr. Dawson…"
Rose started. She stopped to take a seat on the soft, warm sand. She removed
her shawl and sat on it, pulling Jack next to her.
"When you was here last.
What was it like? What did you do here?"
"It was exactly the same
Rose. Amazing. But this time its unbelievable"
"Why?" Rose questioned.
"What changed?"
"You’re here." Jack
then took her hand and gently kissed it. "You make this experience even
more unbelievable."
Rose gasped and smiled, before
turning her head and looking out at the deep blue ocean. She loved the sound of
the waves lapping against the sand, the noise from the funfair not so far away
was in the distance but other than that the beach was secluded and peaceful.
This was one of the best things
to happen to her except meeting Jack and giving birth to her daughter.
It was amazing that it took
something so disastrous as the sinking of the Titanic in order for her to gain
her husband and their daughter and this new life they had. It wasn’t perfect by
far. Money was an obvious struggle, Meggie was quite the handful, Jack was away
a lot of hours a day working to support his family, he was having sleeping
problems and still was having trouble drawing. This saddened Rose, his
beautiful gift had gone and she hoped it would soon be back.
But this life was everything she
wanted, peaceful and with Jack by her side…she really was ready to soar.