THERE YOU’LL BE
Chapter Seventeen

The day of April 14, 1913 was never going to be easy. The memories, the pain, the nightmares, the shivers and the screams of help and the knowing of death were all still there and as fresh as it was just yesterday.

Jack and Rose were due to return home in two days. The past two weeks there in Santa Monica had been breathtaking and it would be hard for them to leave it all behind.

The nightmares for Rose had started on April the tenth. She had dreamt that Jack had died in the freezing cold water in the middle of the North Atlantic. His hand had frozen to hers and when she let go of his hand, he’d fallen into the water. Deeper and deeper until he’d rested for eternity at the bottom of the ocean along with the Titanic. His beautiful face has been so pale, icicles in his eyebrows and hair. His blue eyes closed forever. His body so stiff and lifeless.

Jack had known her sleep was disturbed and had tried endlessly but failed to comfort her. She’d wanted to be alone with her thoughts to mourn the loss of the innocent people. She didn’t mourn for her mother or Caledon Hockley. Not in the least did they even enter her mind. She knew her mother would be alive and well and the Hockley’s would have taken care of her financially.

She also didn’t mourn for the loss of her former self. Rose Dewitt Bukater. The high class society girl, daughter of Ruth Dewitt Bukater, and fiancée of the great Caledon Hockley, one of Philadelphia’s wealthiest families. She didn’t mourn for the loss of her life, the money, the dresses, the jewelry, the rules and restrictions.

The cool nights breeze softly blew on Jack’s face as he walked to the pier. It was the place he had gone for peace and quiet or inspiration. And now, he went to mourn alone. Rose had finally drifted back to sleep and Jack had taken the time to come out alone. He gazed at the nights sky, it was beautiful. The stars were so endless. The sky seemed to never end. He remembered the sky that night, and Rose singing their song Come Josephine. Her lovely song and sweet singing voice.

Her thought of Fabrizio and Tommy, his two best friends. Jack had spent two years on the road with Fabrizio and he had become to be like a brother to him, they had shared everything. He had truly believed that he Titanic would carry him to America safely so he could fulfill his destiny of becoming a millionaire.

Tommy Ryan, the lovable Irishman. His accent so thick and Irish. His talk of Ireland and the green hills. The Irish songs he’d learn them to sing and the dance steps to the tunes they played back in Ireland. He was immigrating to America for a better life, he’d traveled alone leaving just aunties and uncles back in Dublin. He was Irish through and through and was very proud of his Homeland. But America was his dream too, to make a better life for himself.

The same dreams many of the immigrants shared that boarded the luxury liner, their ticket to freedom. Their chance for a new life. Many had been excited at the prospect of reaching new turf. To start over. There had been many nationalities, many cultures, many families and many people. Most of whom lost their lives.

Jack came to a stop at the end of the pier and pulled his coat further around him. He felt a shudder. A tear slowly trailed down his face. He had expected to be strong on this day, for Rose. But he knew that every year would be the same, except maybe in time the pain would ease.

This year had been as hard as losing his parents. The pain of it all just wouldn’t disappear no matter how hard he tried. But along with the pain came his Rose. He’d fought for her to live, fought for her freedom and happiness and he had won the victory.

She had married him, a lower class, penniless artist who had slept under bridges and had no money. Jack thought back to the time just a year ago, when Rose had revealed her dreams to him of been an actress, an artist or a dancer like Isadora Duncan.

He had just passed her dreams with a pat and a chuckle He had seriously doubted that she couldn’t become anything other than a society girl.

Oh, how wrong he was.

It had been a year ago since they had shared their first kiss on the bow of the ship beneath a beautiful sunset. A years since she had asked him to draw her wearing nothing but the priceless diamond.

A year since they had first made love and their daughter was conceived. So many things to be bless for that came from that fateful night. His emotions had over boiled that evening. To go from been so careless, free and in love to losing a lot but gaining so much more.

He thought of Rose, His darling Rose. Words could never even begin to describe how he felt about her.

How much admiration and love he had for her. How proud he was. He thought of her alone at the hotel. If she had a nightmare she would have awoken to find herself alone.

Quickly, Jack said a short prayer, for Tommy, Fabrizio and the others who had been under the same sky a year to the day and have their lives changes forever.

Jack arrived back at the hotel to find Rose sat upright in bed. The curtains were open and she stared mindlessly at the full bright moon. Her eyes were red and her face was blotchy, so she had obviously been crying.

"I’m sorry darling. I took a walk to the pier. I shouldn’t have left you alone." Jack hung up his coat on a peg and wandered over to the bed. Rose never removed her eyes from the moon.

"Is every year going to be like this?" she asked, her voice soft. "I can still hear the screams, feel the chill….the water…." Jack immediately comforted his wife. He felt her body shake uncontrollably in his arms.

"Rose-" was all Jack could manage before his voice cracked.

After what seemed like an eternity, Jack pulled away and Rose controlled her sobs. Jack cupped her beautiful crying face in his soft hands and tenderly stroked her cheeks.

"Rose-" Jack began again. He took a deep breath and felt a small tear slide down his cheek. "That night was the worst thing to happen. I’m troubled too. We’re not alone. But winning that ticket Rose was the best thing to happen to me. It brought me to you Rose, my wife, the mother of my daughter. And for that Rose I am eternally grateful." Rose smiled through her tears, her hand shaking she gently grazed her husbands cheek.

"If I had not have met you I could have been one of the people who didn’t survive."

"Jack, don’t say that I-"

"Rose, you saved my life. You’re the reason I am living. I love you so much with all of my heart and I will do anything I can to prove this to you. Love is all I can offer you." Jack could feel his body shaking. His emotions were everywhere.

"I don’t need you to prove anything Jack. All I know is that when bad times and pain comes out way, there you’ll be forever, to guide me along the way." On the 17th of April, Jack and Rose returned to New York. Rose had felt like she had left a piece of herself behind and even shed a tear when taking one last look at the view from her hotel window of the pier and the roller coaster in the distance, knowing this maybe the first and only time she visits this magical place. Been here had made her truly happy for the first time in a while.

Although nothing made Rose and Jack more happy than the fact they would be seeing their daughter.

Little Meggie had been missed so much this past month. The endless telegrams Rose had sent to Anne wishing to know how her daughter was and each time the response was that she was a happy, healthy little girl.

Rose had to admit she was scared of Meggie forgetting her but as soon as Meggie laid in her mothers arms, her large inquisitive blue eyes had watched her contently before giggling hysterically.

Jack smiled. His darling daughters laugh, it was the most precious sound to Jacks ear. A child’s laugh was the most treasured sound to any parents ear.

Rose slept for most of the next day. Exhausted from the trip, the traveling and the welcome home celebrations which had taken place the night before.

It was early evening when Jack thought of starting dinner. Rose was still in bed and the light sound of little Meggie’s breath was heard from the crib in the corner as she slept.

A knock sounded at the door, Jack quickly ran to open it, not wanting to disturb either one of Meggie or Rose.

It was Phil, dressed in his usual work clothes, smoking a cigarette. He flicked out his cigarette before stepping into the warmth of the Dawson household.

"Where’s young Rose?" Phillip asked seeing no sign of Rose in her favorite armchair.

"She’s been in bed all day. Terribly exhausted." Jack replied, he offered Phil some tea before filling a kettle with water and heating it on the stove. "The trip did some good though, for both of us. Some time to ourselves. We couldn’t afford a honeymoon when we married so she at least deserved the break."

Jack found himself rambling to Phillip, lost in his memories of the incredible time they had shared.

The water was boiled and Jack began to pour it into two small white cups.

"Hey Phil I want you to know I will be grateful to you and your family for as love as I live. Rose and I both will. You took us in like family. Gave us a home, food, work and saw us marry. Anne looking after Meggie when we were away its just-thank you."

Phil smirked and slurped his tea loudly. Everything Jack had just said had made him quite emotional, but he wasn’t about to let Jack know that.

"Aye is nothing, Jackie. You’re like a son I never had. This years been tough on all of us. Let this one bring merriment and joy to both you and Rose."

The Titanic had never been a subject for Jack, Rose and Phil. They had no plans to share their story. Of course, they planned to tell Meggie when she was old enough to understand. But their dreadful experience was private.

"So how was the trip son?" Phil changed the subject from the deep conversation they had been having.

"It was quite something, Phil. Rose oh wow, her face. She was so happy there. She really wanted to settle their. To wake up to the view every morning was like living a dream. We did everything we talked about when we were on The -" Jack cut himself off almost saying the word. "Well when we first met." He corrected himself.

"Say Jack, where did you and your Rose meet?"

Phil realized that he never knew the answer to that question. They had never once uttered a word about their lives before they had moved to the City.

Jack avoided the eye contact with Phil. His eyes darted to the floor and Jack clumsily grabbed a potato to begin to peel. Anything to avoid this sensitive subject.

"We-um-met just over a year ago and courted straight away."

"No Jack - where did you meet?"

Jack sighed heavily and he felt his head suddenly begin to throb.

"I-um-Rose and I don’t like to talk about it so much."

Phil laughed.

"Oh c’mon lad. We’ve all been young once. Done stuff we regret I was twenty one you know."

Slowly, Jack set his knife and potato on the counter. He sighed heavily. This was something which he most certainly did not want to reveal.

The first anniversary had just passed, but it was hard to relive it all once again.

Jack knew they would have to tell Megan in years to come. Phil was a good man, he had been good to Jack and his family. He at least deserved the truth. Jack sat and rested his sore head in his hands.

"We-we" Jack started. All words seemed to vanish from his head. "We-Rose and I well-we met aboard the Titanic."

Jack watched as Phil’s face dropped. His mouth open from pure shock. It seemed like an eternity before Phil spoke again. Mostly because the words just wouldn’t come to him.

"Oh boy, oh Jack lad. If I’d had known I wouldn’t have opened my big mouth." Phil cursed himself. He had heard the stories of how dreadful it had been, he had seen the newspaper reports, the number of people who’d been lost, the small number of lifeboats. The screams, the freezing water. Phil could feel a tear prick in his eye as he finally raised his head and saw Jack.

He had bleary eyes, he reached and touched Jacks hand, as a father would a son in need of comfort.

"The year anniversary has already come and gone while we were in Santa Monica."

Phil’s eye widened in shock. He had forgotten about that, but he had seen the local newspapers tributes.

Jack hadn’t seen a newspaper since the disaster. He didn’t dare to look fearing something Titanic related would be mentioned.

"I’m so sorry lad. You’re so young, so full of life. You and Rose both. This shouldn’t have happened to you, or anyone else for that matter. If God is up there right now-" Phil gestured to the sky. "He wasn’t looking out that day."

Jack nodded although somehow he had always had his faith maybe it was how he was raised. He prayed often and had felt comforted when he did so.

"I almost died." Jack confessed. He titled his face down, memories still fresh in his mind.

"Rose and I -we-were clinging to a piece of debris. I had told her to lay on top of it. Anything to keep her safe, she was always my first priority. I was clinging to the side of the debris, holding Rose’s hand. We were waiting for the lifeboats to come back for us, believing they would. I could feel my body stiffening beneath the water. My legs would no longer bend and I no longer had the energy to move them. I could feel my body aching, stiff cold and I couldn’t barely speak. I knew that God was going to claim my life that night, I was scared to leave Rose it wasn’t fair that I could have her for just three days and then just be taken away."

"Three days Jack? Three days?"

Jack nodded silently. He stood before wandering over to his daughters crib. There she was laying so innocently in a pile of pink blankets. Her beautiful blue eyes stared in wonder at her father. She gargled happily as Jack lifted her up into his arms.

Jack sat back down and he moved the blanket away from his daughters face and stroked her soft pink cheeks. God, she was like her mother. The same full lips, the pale porcelain skin, the curls, her cute nose, the way she laughed. The only thing she had inherited from Jack was the shade of blue which her eyes were, so pale and almost like looking into a beautiful ocean. Her curls were also a strawberry blonde. But she was so clearly Rose’s daughter through and through. Jack touched her tiny fingers and Meggie’s little fist clamped around her fathers thumb. She then yawned cutely before closing her curious eyes and drifting off to sleep.

"I suppose this little darling conceived in those three days?" Phil whispered, he loved seeing Jack with Megan, he was the most natural father. Jack nodded and he could feel himself blushing.

"We were so careless Phil. We were two innocent people who fell in love and we didn’t care of the consequences. We ran around the ship like children, we laughed until our stomachs hurt, we took no precautions when we made love-" Jack could feel his cheeks burning. "I don’t regret it one bit. Yes Rose and I are still pretty much children ourselves, but so much has happened to us that it we feel so much older. Look what good come out of it Phil."

Jack gestured to Meggie.

"Isn’t she the most precious thing?" Phil smiled as he gently touched the baby’s cheek.

"Yes and we wouldn’t change it for the world."

Stories