Changes

By: Princess Sunn

Disclaimer: I own basically nothing, Joss owns all characters, k. You know what I'm talking about, just enjoy the story!
Summary: Something happens that changes Angel and there's only one person who achieves in comforting Buffy. Also this story is not yet finished!
Notes: This takes place in a world where Faith didn't turn against Buffy and all her friends. I used to be a fan of Buffy/Angel until Spike came along and I started to think that Angel was boring....then when Buffy and Spike allied in Becoming, I was Spike/ Buffy all the way!

*****
They had been fighting for so long and she could feel her arms and legs starting to get heavy. She didn't know how much longer she could last. He came down with one final blow that knocked her out cold. Her body fell with a thud and he quickly bit her and gorged on her slayer blood. He felt stronger than ever! Weakly, she started to stir. The last thing she saw was his face smile at her as he snapped her neck. She fell to the ground as Angel quickly fled back to the mansion

*****

Buffy Summers climbed out of her window to start patroling. Faith had said that she could patrol until 9:00 and then Buffy could take over. She had no arguements, and her mother wanted another college talk anyways.

Buffy was approaching the cemetery when she saw a woman's figure lying on the ground. Quickly, she ran to the girl and bent down to her. In horror, she saw who is was: Faith. Tears slowly ran down Buffy's cheeks as she stared in shock down at her friend.

Who the hell is responsible for this, she thought. She knew no young vampire could possibly kill a slayer as tough as Faith. It had to be a old, powerful vampire, or maybe some other demon. She was determined to find and kill whatever did this.

*****

Giles walked out of the library and got into his car. As much as Buffy hated him checking up on her, he was going to anyways.

He parked at the cemetery and walked in through the gate. From a distance he heard heavy sobs. He followed the noise; stake in hand. He then saw Buffy huddling over Faith's cold, dead body.

"Giles! Thank God you're here! I came and she was already dead!" Buffy ran towards him.

"Do you have any idea who did this Buffy?" he asked.

"I-I don't know...I-I j-just arrived and there she was, DEAD!"

"Well, let's get the police. Don't worry Buffy, we'll find whoever or whatever did this."

"Yeah, and then, I'll kill them." She said with a dead serious look on her face.

*****

Angel sat staring at the fire in his lonely mansion.

It had happened again.

It was the third time this week he had killed. And this time it wasn't just some random homeless person, it was a slayer. How could I have done this?! he thought, What if Buffy finds out...she'll hate me, once again.

He knew she would find out, and he wanted her to. He wanted her to kill him and stop him before he killed her.

*****

"Hey," Buffy stepped through the mansion doors the next night.

"Hey, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be patrolling?" Angel asked.

"Yeah, well I kinda needed your help on something..."

"What?" but he already knew what she was talking about, and he didn't know if he could go much longer without telling her the truth about Faith.

"It's Faith...she's dead."

"Yeah...I know."

"You know?! Angel, what do you mean you know?!" a confused look was on her face.

He broke down, "It was me!! I killed her! And two other people this week."

Buffy couldn't say anything. She stood there in shock and waited for him to continue.

"Lately...I've been having black outs. I'll have a flash back of hell and then I can't see anything. Whenever I come out of this...trance, I find somebody dead. Their blood on my hands and my game face on. Then I remember what I had done. Last time...it was Faith."

She stood there in silence, then quietly spoke, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Buffy, I couldn't-"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?! I could've helped you after the first time it happened!"

"Because..." he didn't know why. She's right, I should've told her.

"I would've forgiven and understood you after the first time, but it happened 3 TIMES! And you still didn't come to me!"

"I'm so sorry Buffy," he fell to his knees sobbing, "please just kill me now! I don't deserve to live. Hurry, before I black out and kill you!"

"You're right, you don't deserve to live," she turned and left.

*****

Buffy told Giles what had happened at Angel's mansion, crying the whole time.

"Is there anything we can do for him," she asked through body shaking sobs.

"I'm afraid not Buffy. He has his soul but some part of him has gone mad. Hell will do that to a man. I'm surprised he's held up this long."

"So, what?! I'm just supposed to kill him without even trying to help him?!"

"Buffy, you must understand, he's beyond help now."

She knew her watcher was right. Angel had to be stopped, and the only way was for her to kill him.

*****

Angel kneeled on the floor, sobbing. It was over for him; he knew it. Just then, he cried out in pain. It surged through his entire body until he went numb and passed out. The visions of hell had come again, this time worse than ever. He lay there, unconcious on the stone cold floor. Again he went into the blind trance. But unlike the other 3 times which were temporary, this time would be permanant.

*****

The Next morning Buffy gloomily got dressed for Faith's funeral. The police hadn't found any matching fingerprints yet and had no suspects. Of course they'd never catch th ekiller; Angel.

God, Buffy thought, I can't believe this is my life. My exboyfriend's going psycho on me and there's nothing I can do to help him. He could be totally mad by now.

*****

"Hey Buffy, how you doing?" Willow asked with concern i her eyes.

"OK I guess. Just still in shock that she's really gone. And it's even harder for me to accept the fact that Angel is the one who killed her," Buffy said.

"I know, how is Angel? He's still have those 'episodes'?"

"I dunno, I haven't gone back to the mansion yet. I"m kinda afraid to. I know I'll have to end up slaying him. Giles is pretty much positive that hte black outs will eventually become permanent. He's just not sure when."

"Well, maybe they won't. Maybe..."

"Wil, it's ok. You don't have to comfort me. I can deal. I've dealt before. I'll just really have to kill him this time."

"God Buffy, I'm so sorry."

"Wil, it's ok, I'm fine; I'll be fine."

"OK, well, I'll see you at the Bronze tonight?"

"I dunno, I think I'm gonna mope around the house tonight. Or maybe stop by Angel's. Not looking forward to that."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"OK, later Buffy," Willow said and hugger her friend goodbye.

*****

Buffy crammed one last stake in her bag and headed to the mansion. She dreaded facing him. She was hoping he was still himself so she could have one last time with the real him.

*****

She pushed open the huge, heavy doors of the abdoned mansion that was home to Angel. Buffy looked through the numerous rooms; Angel was nowhere to be found.

Then she heard an all too familiar voice.

"If you're looking for Soulboy, you're not gonna find him here."

Startled to hear the voice she thought she'd never hear again, she froze. Spike, that's all I need to make this week perfect, Buffy thought.

It was too much. Buffy broke down crying, though it was the last thing she wanted to do in the presence of her greatest enemy.

"Just go Spike," Buffy said throught harsh sobs,"Please just leave."

Spike was shocked, what did he say that made this strong slayer cry in front of him? He had never seen her resemble anything weak and emotionally scarred. He couldn't resist feeling bad for her; he hated to see a girl cry.

"Oh sod, please don't cry," he said in a strangely gentle way, "I didn't mean to make ya cry pet." He started to walk towards Buffy.

Buffy heard his stpes, and then felt his breath on her neck. She spun around to face him. Through water, mascara running eyes, she stared him in the face. It was the first time Spike saw the slayer with tears.

"Don't touch me!" she screamed and cried.

"Shh, I'm not gonna hurt you pet. Uhh, it wouldn't be fair, you being all upset and all that. I want to have a fight with all your feeling put in it."

"Promise? No hurting me?"

"Of course, but no stakes pet."

"How can I trust you? As soon as I sit down to cry, you could kill me."

"Yeah well what about you? You could stake me as soon as I sit down!"

"I won't, I also want a fair fight."

"OK, well we've allied before, so we'll just make another truce, what do ya say luv?"

"Deal," Buffy said and outstretched her hand. He met hers and they shook, holding each others hands a second longer than a handshake should take.

"Ok pet, you tell me what's mucking up your life. If it's something to do with that Nancy Boy, I'll be more than happy to team up to kill him," Spike said with a wicked grin.

Buffy cried harder when she hard the name Angel. Spike knew it was something to do with him. And he had a feeling he was wrong when he called him Soul Boy.

"Ok, I'll tell you. Maybe you can help, but you gotta promise to tell me why you're here."

"OK pet."

Buffy explained her sad situation to Spike. She was surprised when he actually showed concern in his eyes. Buffy got lost in those eyes when she talked to him. She began just talking and explaining, but really just paying attention to Spike's intense eyes. In them she saw something she never saw in any vampire. She fancied with the idea that he might have at least part of his soul.

"And then Giles said a spell woudn't work. His soul will be lost forever, he's suffered too much in hell that even the spell won't do him any good," Buffy sighed, a little calmer than before.

Spike was silend. He didn't know what to say. He felt horrible for Buffy. He knew what it was like to lose the one you loved.

"Well I guess it's my turn eh?" Spike starte, "I came here to kill that wanker. It seems that while Peaches was playing rough again, my Princess got used to having him around. Ya know how long it took to make her forget him the first time he left?! I can't even count the bloody years! I'm not going through that again. So I told her i was going, ya know, to see if she would care. And if she did I'd stay. But when she said she was going to find her 'Daddy' I left."

"Wow, I'm sorry Spike," she said then giggled, "Look at us! Two sworn enemies sharing our tales of tragedy!"

"Yeah. Never thought I'd be having a heart to heart with the Slayer."

Well I say we put our differences and our moping aside and get to work. That's the only way I'm gonna be able to go through with this. Treat it like my duty, and having someone who hates Angel helping me makes it a little easier I guess."

"Yeah, two against one, I like those odds."

"Well, when do we start Spike?"

"I'm guessing not now, suns gonna rise soon. Now unless you want your partner to be a big pile of dust, I suggest we find a place for me to stay."

"Oh, yeah. Ummm, well I guess you could stay at my house, my mom's on an art buying trip for a week."

"Well, well Slayer. I didn't think you'd actually invite me, I'm touched. Thought I'd have to ask."

"Hey, I'm not saying it will be nice and comfy. Chains will be used."

"Oh Slayer, didn't know you liked it rough!"

"Shut up Spike!"

"Ouch Slayer!"