The Horny Spray Bottle
There once lived two creatures of the male species. Well, there's
no actually proof that they are males. Their thing is so tiny, you
can't see it with the most powerful microscope. But we'll just assume
they're male since they're gay. Anyway, their names were Leo and
Ricky. They were lovers. One day Leo got on his knee and asked Ricky
to be his wife. Ricky said he had to think about. He wanted to be
Leo's lesbian life partner instead, but he didn't know how to tell
Leo without crushing him. He loved Leo so much, he would never want
to hurt him. He was completely obsessed with Leo. He had 40786 5/9
pictures of him plastered all over his walls and ceilings. He spent
his life writing poems about Leo and writing love letters to Leo.
He drew a new portrait of Leo everyday. Each night he would have
a sexual fantasy about Leo. He claimed to be Leo's #1 fan. Ricky
was a subscriber of every scarey idiot magazine there is because
Leo was always half the issue (N'Sync was the other half). Leo felt
a little differently about Ricky. He only liked Ricky because he
liked the sexy men sexually harrassing the nude women in Ricky's
videos. He wanted Ricky to sexually harrass him.
One day Ricky asked his magic 8-ball if he should marry Leo. The
8-ball didn't say anything. The octopus blood in it was too dark
and you couldn't read what the 8-ball had to say. So Ricky killed
himself instead. But he didn't do it to easily get out of marrying
Leo. He killed himself by accident. He thought the liquid stuff
in the magic 8-ball looked good. He figured it was blueberry Hi-C
or something. So he took out the little clear plastic thing and
drank the blue ink. He liked it very much. It gave him an unusual
high feeling and was pleasing to him. But unfortunately for him,
he happend to be allergic to ink and he got ink poisoning and died.
Now Leo was quite saddened by the loss of the man he wanted to wed.
He loved Ricky and Ricky had never touched him yet. So Leo decided
to sneak into Ricky's coffin and be buried alive with Ricky. Now
Ricky could touch him all day. Leo's plan worked. After 6 weeks
of living in the coffin with dead Ricky, Leo got hungry and ate
Ricky and satisfied his hunger. Leo lived happily ever after. THE END
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